


We Are The Rebellious Youth

by aweirdkindofyellow



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: F/M, High School, Teenage Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2020-06-03 12:53:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 69
Words: 178,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aweirdkindofyellow/pseuds/aweirdkindofyellow
Summary: Monica 'Mickey' Kingsley isn't exactly the good girl. Scratch that, she's the opposite by every stretch of the imagination. Thanks to some questionable decisions, Mickey is nineteen years old and just starting her Senior Year in yet another new school, this time in the northeastern town of Baltimore, Maryland. Outwardly, her parents are hopeful this time will be different, that this place will be good for her, but she can still see the doubt in their eyes. After all, a track record of one night stands, skipping school, smoking, and partying doesn't exactly reflect well on her. Like she gives a damn. Unfortunately, her parents certainly do, which is why she's found herself living in yet another scruffy town and going to Dulaney High.At least the guys are hot, right?Warning: There is some violence, but it should not be too bad, they are teenagers after all. If it ever does, I will put another warning before the chapter.This used to be a co-written story, but the other author became too busy, so I continued it by myself. I'll give credit where it's due.





	1. Chapter One: Let's Start Off the Year With a Bang, Literally

**Mickey’s POV**  
  
 _Beep. Beep. Beep._ My alarm kept going off even though I had already thrown it across the room and put a pillow over my head. The last thing I wanted was having to wake up early to go to the shithouse that people called school. It was only there so parents could make other adults look after their kids for a couple of hours a day. To be honest, I had much better things to do. I’d take locking myself up in my room, getting high to Eminem and Papa Roach over school any day. I seriously couldn’t stand those teachers yapping away, acting like they knew everything, while it was obvious they didn’t. Why would I even bother if I was going to get expelled anyways?  
  
“Mikey, it’s time to wake up.” My mom slowly and carefully entered my room, turning off the alarm clock when she walked past it. “You’re going to be late to school otherwise.”  
  
I let out a loud groan and shuffled away when she sat on the edge of my bed. “I feel sick. It’s better if you’d let me stay in bed for another day.”  
  
“I will not be falling for that again, Mickey,” she sighed in the most disappointed tone she had used in a while. “Remember, this year is a year for change. And I mean a good change, not a change in your hair color again. You’re going to have to graduate sometime, let it be our goal to make sure it happens this year.”  
  
“I’ll drop out before that.” I rolled my eyes and felt her pry the pillows off my face. I didn’t even have to live with my parents anymore, yet here I was, in my room in their house, being forced to go to school. Originally, my plan was to drop out and go live by myself as soon as I turned 18, but that didn’t exactly happen. I was expelled before that, making us all move to Texas for a couple of months. There basically hadn’t been a state I hadn’t lived in, Maryland now included.  
  
“Come on. I already picked out an outfit for you so you don’t have to bother with that, Garry and I got your truck fixed, there isn’t a reason for you not to go!”  
  
“As much as I thank you and dad for that, it’s still a piece of shit car anyways.” I sat up, my sheets going down my body and my red hair cascading down my shoulders in a messy heap.  
  
Whenever my mom talked to me, she always referred to my step-dad as Garry, but I still called him dad. He was a much better father than my piece of shit biological father could _ever_ be. I actually called him by his first name, Michael, not even bothering to go as far as calling him Mike. I even changed my surname to my dad’s surname instead of Michael’s. Kingsley fit better with Mickey anyways.  
  
“Monica, language,” my mom scolded, thinking it could still possibly have an affect on my behavior.  
  
I just snorted at her failed attempt and at her usage of my real name. “Fine. It’s a fucking piece of shit car. Better?”  
  
She shook her head and ran a hand over her face. “Just get ready, I’ll be downstairs waiting on you with some breakfast.”  
  
I let out a frustrated yell as soon as she left my room, throwing my duvet off myself and onto the empty half of my bed, which I reserved for when guys came over. There was a reason why I begged my parents for a double bed when I was fifteen years old, and it wasn’t because I wanted to be able to stretch out during the night. No, it was for, how do you put it, _exercising_. A twin sized bed wasn’t really big enough for that, if you know what I mean.  
  
I looked around to see if I could find the outfit my mom was talking about. However, I didn’t see anything lying around. She probably had just given me false hope. But, oh, no, I had never been more _wrong_. Just as I was about to reach into my closet and get out my usual leather jacket, black high-waisted shorts, and a t-shirt, I saw the atrocity which my mom called an outfit. There it was hanging from the closet door: a white sundress decorated with a pattern of yellow daisies.  
  
 _Oh, hell no!_  
  
“Mom!” I screamed, stomping over to my door to make sure she heard me. “There is no way in hell I’m wearing whatever the fuck that is!”  
  
“Yes, you are,” she shouted back from the bottom of the stairs, “remember, time for change! This is just the beginning of it.”  
  
I slammed the door shut, but still pulled the dress on over my head. It was just for one day. One day. After that, I could go back to my old self. I just needed to make sure my parents wouldn’t be disappointed in me, and then everything would be fine. If I made them believe I could change, it was already a lot better than doing nothing. You see, I might not give a fuck about school or my future, but I did care about my parents. They were the one thing I would never change in my life, and I wasn’t going to be any more of a disappointment to them than I already was. I considered myself perfectly fine, but adults definitely didn’t.  
  
When I went to look in the mirror, I had to stop myself from jumping away. I looked absolutely horrifying. It actually looked like I was willing to try and get good grades by studying a couple of hours a week. There was nothing that screamed ‘if you get too close to me, there will be consequences’. I didn’t want people approaching me that I had no plan on associating myself with. People were actually going to think I wanted to socialize and make friends! Oh my god, _no_. This was not going to work out. I looked like a Monica, not like a Mickey.  
  
Wait. There was still makeup. I could still fix myself by making my winged eyeliner so perfect, I could use it to stab a bitch if needed. Ain’t nobody coming near me unless they were willing to help me find a drug dealer or if they were a cute guy wanting to have a one night stand. No, I did not want to be your friend; no, I did not want you to show me around; no, I did not want to sit with you during lunch. Just back off and let me be. If I wanted friends, I’d be the one finding them, not some strange happy-go-lucky person who was way too cheerful and excited for my liking.  
  
I rushed over to my bathroom, scrambling to find my eyeliner. However, it wasn’t on the counter like it usually was. All that was there was my mascara and eyebrow powder, not even the occasional black eyeshadow I liked to use to make my look more dramatic. I thought it may have fallen on the floor and rolled underneath the counter, but when I dipped down and checked, there was nothing. I frantically started searching through the drawers and in the cupboard behind the mirror. But it was nowhere to be found, not even my dark lipsticks or anything I could substitute for eyeliner.  
  
I knew exactly what had happened.  
  
“Mom!” I screeched once again. It was one thing to make me wear this, but it was another to take away the one thing that made me, me. “What the _hell_ did you do with my makeup!”  
  
“Remember, time for a change!” She replied in a matter-of-fact tone, her footsteps soon coming up the stairs once again.  
  
I turned to the mirror, seeing my frustrated expression. This really wasn’t going to work. Nobody would even believe this. I grabbed my brush and angrily ran it through my hair, getting it stuck on countless of knots. Maybe it was just better to put it up in a messy bun. Wasn’t that what all the cutesy college girls did nowadays? Sure, I did it often as well, but it just worked with the grunge look and I didn’t have to even try. This, however, was going to have to look like I made it messy on purpose. How was that done? Tight on top of my head, twist it around, and add a hair tie. Done. Didn’t I look _great?_  
  
I started to do my eyebrows, at least that was something my mother had the decency to let me keep. If I didn’t even get that, there was no way I was leaving the house. I couldn’t have anybody see me without any makeup on, that was just super embarrassing. So, just as I was filling my eyebrows in, my mom entered the bathroom, leaning against the doorway and watching me.  
  
“You see, you don’t look bad at all!” She tried to cheer me up and motioned her hands up and down.  
  
“Yes, I do,” I groaned and didn’t want to look at her, but when both my eyebrows were done, I didn’t really have a choice other than to do so, “I look like a twelve-year-old!”  
  
“No, you don’t,” she shook her head and walked up to me, putting both her hands on my cheeks so she could look me in the eye, “you look like the beautiful 19-year-old you are.”  
  
I pouted but gave in nonetheless. “Fine. But I’m going back to my normal clothes and makeup tomorrow.”  
  
“Hmm, good idea, that way they’ll think you’re another new girl and all the mischief you cause today will be forgotten.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the mirror to pass my eyelashes through the mascara wand a couple of times. At least it made my eyes pop out a little more. I just wanted to look like my age, and not like a pubescent girl. I was far from that. There was a very high chance that I was the oldest at this school, I was not going to let people think I was 16. There was no way I was going to go back to when I was 16. Those were bad days… bright green hair, only one tattoo, and an amateur at smoking. I was a much better version of myself now.  
  
“If you hurry, you might even be able to catch some breakfast before you leave,” mom smiled, going to leave the bathroom again to let me be.  
  
“I don’t have anything better to spend my time on, do I?” I put the mascara wand back in the container to get some more product on it. “Just let me finish this, brush my teeth, and go to the toilet, and I’ll be right there.”  
  
When I was all done and decided to go downstairs, my practically empty backpack on my back, I was met with my mom waiting for me with a plate of pancakes. This is what she did every year. She’d always think that trying to make my first day as great as possible would make me want to change and be good for the rest of the year. But, really? Were pancakes really going to do that? All this time and pancakes were the answer to my problematic behavior!? Who would have guessed!  
  
As good as pancakes were, they didn’t have some magical power that suddenly made me change.  
  
After putting some sandwiches in a plastic bag and throwing them in my backpack, I was off to school. There used to be a time when I would get lunch money, but then my mom found out I was spending it on things other than food. Those things possibly being cigarettes, alcohol, and weed… but, I mean, who knows? That money was never spent at the food cafeteria or at the grocery store. It could have just disappeared randomly, right? I didn’t _have_ to be the culprit here.  
  
There were kids outside of the school building catching up with friends they hadn’t seen since the last day of school, and then there were also the friends they hadn’t seen in a couple of hours but were still super excited to see again, as if they had missed each other and couldn’t live without each other for that short period of time. Something about those people just made me want to roll my eyes and make a smart remark. They just made me feel sick.  
  
I got out of my rusty old red pickup truck and slammed the door shut, the metal screeching in protest. The first thing I had to do was walk through the crowd, push away anybody that got in my way and find the administration office to get my timetable. I already had people looking at me and whispering as I made my way to the front doors. Some were wondering who I was, others wanted to get to know me, and then there were also the people who were ready to victimize me. But, really, that was all just a mistake. Try to talk to me? I’ll go the other way. Try to bully me? Oh, hell, you’ll never want to come close to me ever again. I wasn’t the one who just started violence for no reason, but as soon as somebody would try to make fun of me or anything important to me, I would not hesitate to throw a punch or two.  
  
If only my appearance could have warned them…  
  
Just as I opened the door that was supposed to lead me to my inevitable doom, the bell rang. Guess I was going to be late on my first day. I shrugged and ‘quickly’ rushed over to the administration office to make it seem like I really did try my best to make sure I was on time. It was like this room was soundproof, the kids shouting in the halls now just a distant murmur. There was a fairly young blonde woman behind the desk, typing away on her old desktop computer. She finished off her sentence and looked up to see who had entered and gave me a friendly smile. I took this as a sign that I had to walk up to her.  
  
“Hi, how can I help you?” She asked and I leaned lightly against the desk, looking around at all the flyers and booklets that anybody was able to take whenever they wanted.  
  
“I was told to get my schedule here… I’m new here.” I nodded, tapping my fingers against the wood, hoping this would take long enough for me to miss most of whatever my first period was.  
  
“I just need to know your name, and I’ll print it out for you.” She clicked a couple of things, finding the program she was looking for. “By the way, don’t worry about your first day, I’m sure you’ll find some friends.”  
  
I immediately cringed at the last word. Whatever happened, I was not here to make ‘friends’. Acquaintances? Ok. But friends? No.  
  
“Mickey Kingsley,” I told her, deciding it was better to ignore her comment. It wasn’t exactly the best thing to have them call my mother after the first few minutes of school.  
  
“I don’t have a Mickey, but I do have a Monica. Is that you?”  
  
I nodded, balling up my fist at the sound of my real name. It sounded so disgusting. My mom must have been on some really strong painkillers when she had me to give me a name like that. I would never be a proper and neat girl. Monica sounded way too prestige. Exactly like the girls I never wanted to be associated with.  
  
“Well, then, Mickey,” she smiled as she used my nickname, which was a first (usually administration was set on calling me Monica, because ‘that’s what the system says’), and handed me the timetable and a map, “this is all you need. We’re here right now,” she pointed somewhere on the map, “this is where your locker is,” is was further into the school on the left, “and here’s your first class.” She then pointed at a classroom that was really far away from my locker.  
  
Well, I knew where I was going to go first.  
  
“Thanks.” I took all the paper she gave me and left the place, but not after she told me that I could always come here if I needed help.  
  
I slowly walked towards the hall where my locker was supposed to be when another body suddenly slammed into mine. I managed to steady myself, but the other person, face planted right onto the floor and scrambled to try and get up. They were too busy with not embarrassing themselves any further for me to get a good look at what they looked like, but I saw some long black hair with blonde streaks all over.  
  
“Watch where you’re _going_ , jerk!”I roared and continued my way to my locker without checking if he was ok. It was obvious he just had a small tumble, me standing around him wouldn’t make that any better.  
  
After trying out my locker code, I stared at the empty compartment for a while and decided not to put anything in it. I didn’t have a coat that I needed to hang away, and I didn’t have any books that needed to collect dust on the shelf. So, I shrugged and closed it again, careful not to attract any teachers that were in the surrounding classrooms. Getting detention on the first day wasn’t exactly the best news to come home with.  
  
When I finally entered the classroom, everybody was staring at me. A couple of guys who were fooling around in the back froze completely and looked as if they were expecting me to do something. I recognized one of them as the person who had nearly tripped me in the hallway. At least I wasn’t the only one who had been late.  
  
I shuffled over to the one empty seat, which coincidentally was in front of this group of guys, and sat down. Since I was new and considered myself as somebody who ‘didn’t know how this school worked’, I decided I didn’t have to make up an excuse and apologize for coming in 20 minutes later than I was supposed to. Of course, I knew you had to get a late slip, but the school technically was the reason was I was late in the first place. If I hadn’t had to go and fetch my timetable, then all would have gone well.  
  
“Care to introduce yourself?” The teacher put down her whiteboard pen and raised an eyebrow at me. I didn’t even realize she had been trying to talk to me, I was so used to tuning teachers out.  
  
I put up an innocent act as if I really was sorry and didn’t mean to be so rude. “Oh, umm, I’m Mickey… That’s all there is to know, really.”  
  
The teacher thanked me and continued with her class, explaining what exactly they were going to do this year. I didn’t even know what she was teaching. For all I knew, this could have been Biology, but it could also have been English. I wasn’t even bothered to find out. Of course, I could have looked around to see if there were any textbooks or posters, or I could have simply checked my timetable. But did it really matter? All I had to do was show up enough times to make sure the government didn’t intervene, and I was ready to go this year.  
  
“Hey,” somebody whispered from beside me, giving my arm a small tap to get my attention.  
  
I tried my best to keep in a sigh and decided it was best to leave whoever the person was and let them be. But when I caught a small glimpse of who it was, my brain rewired. I had to talk to this guy. So far, he was the best-looking dude I had seen at this school, and I needed to ‘get to know him’. Well, that basically meant I wanted to have him in my bed and add him to the list of guys who had already been there. I didn’t care about his past, present, or future. I just knew that he was hot and that he looked like he was really good in bed. Sure, his fashion sense wasn’t all too great, but he had the chestnut brown hair and brown eyes. Oh boy, if I could get him that night, my entire week would be made. After that, I didn’t need to care about him again.  
  
So, I bit my lip a little and looked over my shoulder, giving him the eyes that drove all the guys crazy. “Hey.”  
  
“I was thinking, how about you come over and join me and my friends for lunch?” He continued, leaning over his desk more to get closer to me.  
  
I really didn’t feel like socializing. It meant I had to make them believe that I wanted to be their friend, and I really didn’t have any interest in that. Friends and school were two different things. They did not go together at all.  
  
But, I had to put on my shy innocent girl hat and act like I was being swooned by him. Not without playing hard to get first, though. “I don’t know…”  
  
“Oh, come on, that way we can get to know each other a little better.”  
  
He thought he was telling me what every girl wanted to hear, but it was the opposite of what I wanted to hear. All he had to say was ‘wanna fuck tonight’ and I would have been happy. I didn’t need any of that ‘trust me, I’ll be different this time’ bullshit. We all know that people like me don’t change, and he seemed exactly like me. A perfect person to take my Dulaney High virginity. I was horny and hadn’t had sex since we moved here; I didn’t even care if my mom got mad at me for not coming home until early in the morning or for making very loud noises in my room at night.  
  
“Ok, I guess so,” I smiled and had to fight the urge to wink at him. He had to fall for my trap. I wasn’t the one being fooled into a one night stand, no, _he_ was.  
  
“By the way, the name’s Alex.”  
  
I continued on with my classes until lunch and joined them, just like I had said I would. It mainly consisted of me acting pure, but not virginal. They would often make some dirty jokes, to which I had to act like I didn’t really understand them, but still laughed at for their sake. To be honest, I thought their jokes were pretty lame and could be stepped up a notch. They just didn’t go far enough for me, and it killed me to act like they were actually going way too far. And then there were also girls glaring at me. Instead of making me feel uncomfortable, it made me feel better. It just meant that I had made the right decision by hanging out with Alex, he was obviously sought after. At the end of lunch, he brought me to my class, like a gentleman, but I was really just hoping to have some alone time. He told me that he’d meet me at my locker as soon as school ended, and I knew that that was my time to strike and catch my prey.  
  
“So, are you doing anything right now?” Alex smirked as he trapped me between my locker and his body. The kids walking around us didn’t even seem to realize, already being completely used to his act. Little did they know that it was going to backfire.  
  
“Hmm, I don’t know,” I shrugged, watching and waiting until most people left, “it’s the first day of school so I’m not sure I really want to do anything.”  
  
“Oh…” he acted defeated, but I knew he had something up his sleeve: guilt. “It’s just, I told Jack and Rian I was going to hang out with this really pretty girl today and had to ditch them. We normally hang out nearly every day. I basically disappointed them just be to with you. Don’t make me break their hearts for no reason!”  
  
“Well, in that case...” I ran my hands over his chest, already catching him off guard a little. There was nobody around anymore to see exactly what was going on--I did _not_ do public displays of affection. I leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Your place or mine?”  
  
“W-what?”  
  
“Come on, Alex, we both know what we want. Your place or mine?” I repeated and nibbled on his ear a little.  
  
He shuffled uncomfortably but also didn’t seem like he wanted me to stop. “I don’t know… Maybe we could go do something first? I don’t just want to--”  
  
“Cut the bullcrap. I _don’t_ want you to take me out for ice cream, I _don’t_ want you to take me out to the movies. I just want you to _fuck_ me,” I purred and started kissing down his jawline, “your place or mine?”  
  
He inhaled a sharp breath, allowing me better access. “M-my parents are still out on their romantic getaway…”  
  
“Your place it is then.” I stopped my kisses just before I reached his lips, the distance between us just being an inch. He looked down at me, his breath already very unsteady, and I bit my lip.  
  
Now I just needed to figure out a way to get out of his place and back to mine before I had to wake up for school the next morning.


	2. Chapter Two: Let's Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally written by atlfan08 on alltimelowfanfiction.com

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
It’s not exactly a secret at Dulaney High that I’m what one would refer to as a ‘man whore’. And I am, proudly so. I’ve been with a fuck ton of girls. Popular girls. Not popular girls. Band girls. Brainiac girls. Girls who did track. Girls who got straight A’s and girls who, like me, couldn’tve cared less about their grades--you get the picture. Fuck ton of girls, blah, blah, blah.  
  
Point is, I’ve been around the block a few times in my seventeen years of existence, but never, _ever,_ had I been with a girl like Mickey Kingsley.  
  
The first time she walked into that classroom, I was spellbound. I dropped whatever stupid joke I’d been telling Jack to let my eyes transfix on the new beauty that entered the usually dull english class.  
  
Damn, was she stunning.  
  
I couldn’t pin point exactly what it was about her that lit that spark of interest, either. Maybe it was her hair. It was dyed fire engine red and lit like a firework against the likes of bleach blonde, tan skinned girls. I couldn’t help but stare at her, expecting her to give reason as to why she graced us with her presence, but instead she kept tight lipped, sinking down into the only open seat in the room.  
  
It just so happened to be directly in front of me.  
  
I watched as my teacher, Miss Harper, finally acknowledged the strange new girl in the room with a minimal exchange of words, after which she happily welcomed her to the school before continuing on with the lesson.  
  
Mickey.  
  
She sure was something else. It was one thing for me to be my usual charming self and be openly flirty because she’s a hot girl and I, Alex Gaskarth, am a horny fuck, but _damn._  
Never had I encountered a girl so forward before. She practically threw herself onto me, flat out _telling_ me that she wanted to cut the shit and get right down to business mere hours after we’d met.  
  
The next thing I knew, we were back at my place, lips locked, teeth clashing and hearts pumping. Clothes were strewn and we proceeded to have the hottest sex I’d ever experienced. By the time it was over, I was left drenched in sweat and completely breathless.  
  
“...god _damn.”_ I shook my head, smiling towards the ceiling at the unbelievable high I’d just come down from. “That was amazing.”  
  
She kept silent, though I could feel her own pulse begin to normalize under her skin.  
  
I pursed my lips, glancing at the gorgeous girl I’d just hooked up with. “How’d you learn to do that... _thing_ towards the end?” A shiver ran down my spine, only an echo of the way whatever it was she did made me feel.  
  
She just shrugged, eyes averted from mine. “I’ve picked up a thing or two.”  
  
I bobbed my head, noting the distance in her voice as her interest in me went from a hundred to zero like that. “Um... well how was it for you?” I asked stupidly, desperate to at least keep some of that magnetic spark alive. In the short time I’d known her, it didn’t take a genius to see that this girl was something else, unlike all the other chicks I’d been with. She was blunt, independent, confident, sexy--basically she was like my dream girl but with the upside of actually being real. I would be a fool to let her go so easy.  
  
“You did fine, lover boy.” She chuckled deeply, glancing at me for just a split second as if doubting that I needed such a confidence boost.  
  
“Cool.” I smirked. I let a beat pass before I opened my mouth again. “So...you just moved from out of state, right? Why’d you move to boring ol’ Maryland?”  
  
This time, her gaze met mine, brows raised as she huffed a laugh. “Seriously, dude?”  
  
I frowned at her, offended by her laughter. “What?”  
  
Ignoring my scowl, she rolled her eyes, “You’re starting with the pillow talk?”  
  
It was my turn to shrug innocently. “What? You seem like a cool girl that I wanna get to know, alright? Is that a crime?”  
  
“Why do you care?” She shook her head as she began lifting herself from my bed. “It was just a one time thing, anyway.” She then got up, completely nude as she began grabbing her previously discarded clothes.  
  
I could feel my throat hitch, the words she was saying out loud the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. “It doesn’t have to be, you know.” I countered, grabbing her wrist just as she passed me. Again, I could feel the electricity when I touched her.  
  
She tensed under my grip. “And here I thought we were on the same page.”  
  
I released her, her reaction like a slap to the face as I stared at her, shocked at how stubborn she was being. “Come on, Mickey.” I sighed, lifting my own body so I could properly face her. “I’m not saying we have to commit to each other or shit like that, but I don’t want to make this weird, okay? We don’t have to limit our time together to awkward glances as we pass by each other at school.”  
  
She stared at me for a second. “So...you want to be friends?”  
  
I gulped, nodding.  
  
She shook her head. “I don’t think you want to be friends with me.”  
  
“No, I really think I do.” I replied stubbornly.  
  
She glared at me as she shimmied into her clothes. “I don’t _do_ friends.” She paused for a second as she added, “Especially with guys I fucked. It tends to get complicated and that sucks ass so I’d rather not deal with it, okay?”  
  
The hurt in my chest only grew at her rejection. “So when you hung out with me today, that was just to get into my pants?” I asked, my voice rising slightly on its own.  
  
“I could ask you the same thing.” She shot back, grabbing her shoes with an annoyed huff. “But like I said, I don’t really care.”  
  
I admit, I was hurt that she told me this was just purely about sex. It stung so much that I was about to let her go on her merry way when I noticed that spark in her eyes again. That same spark I’d noticed the first time I’d had a chance to talk to her face to face. And I wasn’t sure exactly what it was about that look of hers, but something deep inside me was yelling at me to somehow, someway, keep Mickey Kingsley in my life.  
  
I groaned in annoyance, my brain on overload trying to figure out how to get this stubborn girl to stay with me. I pressed my palms together in desperation as I begged, “Mickey, don’t leave, alright? Just stay and we can hang out like this never happen--” Unfortunately, before I could finish my plea, she gave a heavy sigh and shot out of my room and out of my house, the door downstairs slamming making me flinch.  
  
Like I said, I’ve had my fair share of one night stands. But I’ve gotta say, I’ve never been the one left before wondering what the fuck just happened.  
  
“Huh.” I raised a brow as I let the rejection fill my soul, the hurt in my chest causing me to fall back into my bed with a bitter laugh. “So that’s what it feels like...”


	3. Chapter Three: Old Look, Old Me

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
Coming home late on the first day of school wasn’t exactly the best impression on my parents. They had already finished eating their dinner and had left mine in the microwave. I gave them some bullshit excuse about how I was out with a friend, but as soon as they started asking questions things started going south. Giving a name was simple, I just said Alex, and making up something about what we did was always very easy. I told them that we went out to a movie and got ice cream, which was obviously the complete opposite of what we did. And they actually seemed to believe it. My mom was so happy that her outfit choice had worked and that I should always dress like that. She was actually happy with me! But then came the gender question. Dad didn’t mean any harm when he asked whether ‘Alex’ was a boy or a girl, but my mom flipped out when I told them he was a guy. She immediately accused me of sleeping with him. I did try to defend myself, but it didn’t exactly work. You would think that after countless nights of sneaking out and doing things I wasn’t supposed to do, I could easily protest and make myself seem innocent. But, you see, I didn’t think my actions were all that wrong. So, why try to make myself seem like somebody I wasn’t?  
  
Well, it led to me being grounded for the rest of the week. It just didn’t make much sense to me. I got grounded quite a lot, but I still managed to stay out until pretty late. But they were just making it very easy for me this time. My mom had to take a night shift at the hospital she worked at and my dad was out until pretty late for a business dinner. I could easily come home after school, wait for my mom to leave, then sneak out and sneak back in through my window. Before school started, I had made sure I knew how to get up there. It left me with some bruised knees and scabbed elbows, but I knew the perfect way to do it with barely making any noise. Over the years, I started to make it a tradition to figure out how to sneak in whenever we moved houses. A couple of times neighbors did inform my parents of what I was doing, but usually, they thought it was a burglar and my mom would immediately know it was me… At least I still got a fun night out, so it didn’t really matter to me.  
  
But for now, I had to survive another day of school. It was only my second day here and the second day of the school year and I was already fed up. I couldn’t wait till the homework I wasn’t going to do started piling up! It was always the best time of the year… not. The best time of the year was summer vacation. I didn’t have to give a shit during those months. Well, I didn’t give a shit all year round, but you get what I mean. Then I didn’t have to get up til two in the afternoon, while I still had to get up at six thirty every morning now.  
  
I was wearing the clothes I wanted, making myself feel even better. My black tight skinny jeans were hugging my legs again, a black beanie was making sure I didn’t have to do anything with my hair, boots ready to kick some bitches if needed, a ripped shirt accompanied by an army print jacket, my lips prepared to leave marks, and my eyeliner showing everybody they better not mess with me. Now, this was what I wanted to wear to my first day of school. Nobody better get close to me if they were smart.  
  
In the morning, I had gotten all my textbooks from the library, unfortunately, and decided to dump them in my locker. I wasn’t going to use those little shits anyway. Plus, now I always had an excuse to go to my locker in between classes instead of having to go from one room to another straight away. While everybody was in the hallways talking before class started, I went right up to my locker and unlocked it. I couldn’t help but smirk at all the comments. Some people didn’t realize I was the same person as yesterday, and others were saying they’d never ever want to approach me. Perfect reactions. My whole day was practically made. Everybody knew who I really was and nobody was going to come up to me--  
  
“Mickey!” A male voice shouted from across the hall where I had seen Alex and his friends talking to each other.  
  
I tried my best to ignore the call of my name, but I could hear his footsteps approach me. He was standing way too close to me for my liking; practically touching my back, trying his best to get in my line of sight. If I just acted like he wasn’t there, he would leave me, just like all the others did. Nobody wanted to talk to somebody who ‘didn’t realize' they were there.  
  
But Alex still decided to try and make a conversation, much to my despise. “I didn’t even realize it was you! You look so different. I only noticed it was you when I suddenly saw you opening your locker. Holy shit!”  
  
I threw another book on the high shelf, craning my neck to give Alex an unamused bitchy glare. “Can you back off?”  
  
He took a step back, but still continued to try to get me to look at him to have a normal conversation. “So, about last night--”  
  
“I don’t think you understand what I meant with ‘back off’. I mean _fuck_ off, get lost, beat it!”  
  
“Hey, there’s our friend Mickey!” Jack bounced up beside his best friend and tried to wrap an arm around me.  
  
I shuffled away before he could touch me. If he had succeeded, he would have had a black eye. I threw my books into my locker and let out a frustrated sigh before turning around looking at the two boys. “Alex, if this is about me telling you ‘did fine’ last night, it’s exactly what I meant. You don’t really deserve much more credit. When I say you were fine, I mean you were _fine_. You definitely weren’t the best I’ve had. Just spruce things up a little, ok? As much as I like taking control, you could also have done a couple of, how do I put this, more _interesting_ things.”  
  
Alex shook his head in disbelief. “Wait, what--”  
  
“Oh, and guys, I’m not your friend.”  
  
With that, I closed my locker and pushed past Jack to leave. The whispers turned into people wondering if I really had just rejected Alex Gaskarth. Well, guess what, bitches, I did. Alex Gaskarth really wasn’t a god like he thought he was. He was actually quite far from it.  
  
And I really thought Alex and his friends were going to leave me alone after that… but I really was wrong.  
  
At lunch, I decided to sit at the table that had caught my attention the day before. It was somewhere further in the back -- other than in the middle where Alex sat with all the girls and guys that were his friends -- and nobody was sat at it. A perfect place for a girl like me. Nobody would bother me, and I could easily see everything going on. And with seeing everything going on I meant scoping around to see if there were any cute guys that I would consider banging. It was what I did at every school I went to. I did not need to sit around with everybody and hear all the gossip. Being on my own was good enough for me. I always managed to make friends outside of school and that’s when the good stuff started happening.  
  
But, as I sat there trying to eat the sandwich I had prepared that morning, two figures got up from their usual place and made their way over to me. I already groaned when I saw both Jack and Alex walking up to me. They hadn’t explicitly said or gestured they were coming over to me, but I could just see it in the occasional looks they had given in my direction prior to them actually taking action. Hadn’t my outburst in the hallway taught them anything? Did I really have to start using the harsh and mean way? They were just a couple of boys, I didn’t want to have to make this even worse for them.  
  
They sat down opposite of me, without any food in sight, and just stared at me for a while. I just raised my eyebrows at them and put my sandwich down while I swallowed the last bite. They obviously wanted to talk to me, but I honestly didn’t feel like dealing with the consequences. I really didn’t think that this would be such a problem! Couldn’t they just leave it be and deal with the fact that I didn’t want to be their friend, nor did I want to talk to them. It seemed simple to me, but obviously not to them.  
  
I sighed and looked at the guy with black hair and really weird random blonde streaks running through it (I also didn’t understand why they thought I would want to hang out with someone that looked like _that_ ). “Look, Jack, I’m sorry, but I will not be taking your virginity. You can try to convince me, but no matter how hard you try, I won’t do it. I just don’t take people’s virginity.”  
  
His eyes widened dramatically and he shook his head. “I’m not a virgin!”  
  
“It’s ok,” I assured him, and awkwardly gave his hand a couple of pats to comfort him, “I know a virgin when I see one. There’s nothing wrong with it. And, trust me, there’s a lot more virgins here, in this room, right now, than you realize. They aren't so good at hiding from me.”  
  
“No, I’m not a virgin,” he repeated, but he seemed too uncomfortable for my liking. It was like he was trying too hard to defend himself.  
  
“Keep telling yourself that.” I shrugged it off, feeling pretty confident in my theory. Maybe I was telling him this just to annoy him, but it would only be better if he actually was. But now it was the other boy’s turn to be irritated. “As for you, Alex, I really thought we were on the same page. It was pretty obvious we only wanted to sleep with each other, and we did, so that should be it. I’ve heard a lot about you and your one-night-stands. You shouldn’t have any trouble with this. Or are you just annoyed ‘cause I actually want you gone rather than being all over you and begging for more of your attention?”  
  
“I just want to befriend you… I’ve done that with many girls,” he told me with a sigh, “is it really such a crime?”  
  
“Yes, yes it is. I don’t _do_ friends! I’m guessing you didn’t befriend those girls right after sleeping with them. Honestly, it’s pretty awkward to ask a girl if she wants to be friends right after having sex,” I informed, speaking in a way as if I were speaking to a young child that didn’t understand fast and difficult words.  
  
He thought for a while, twirling his hair a little as if that helped him concentrate and think of which girls he fucked and became friends with afterwards. “Well, no not exactly. I just think you’re an interesting person that I’d love to get to know a bit better. Just because I slept with you, doesn’t mean we can't be friends. I’ve done it with other girls before. We can put what happened yesterday behind us. I remember you telling me that you didn’t befriend guys you slept with. How about we forget what happened?”  
  
“How about _no_. I actually thought I finally found the guy version of myself; both just out finding somebody to have a one-night-stand with, no feelings, no emotions, no nothing, _just sex_. We could have been allies, you know. I thought you understood, but you clearly don’t.”  
  
“We still can be. I’ll look out for you, you look out for me. We’ll still be civilized around each other and maybe we can get to know each other in the process. We won’t be friends, but we can build up to being it.”  
  
“God, Alex, you are the clingiest person I’ve ever known!” I screamed and immediately got the entire cafeterias attention. “Just leave me alone! I don’t want you around me!”  
  
“Well, _jeez_ ,” he slumped in his seat before putting his hands on the table and pushing himself up. He walked away, dragging Jack behind him, while people stared and followed Alex with their eyes.  
  
Some girls scowled at me, just making me want to laugh. They should be happy that I was letting them get together with Alex without me getting in the way at all. As soon as Alex was sitting down in his old seat, the mumbles and gossip started. Everybody was surprised that I had called him clingy. Alex was by far the least clingy person they'd ever known. That was the Alex I had hoped to ‘get to know’. But I was stuck with this whiny determined boy who was used to getting exactly what he wanted. Well, not in my book.


	4. Chapter Four: The Walk of Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally written by atlfan08 on alltimelowfanfiction.com

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
The night life in the surrounding Baltimore area for a party crazed eighteen year old can pretty much be narrowed down to three hang outs: Tina’s Cafe, Brad Hamilton’s place, and the Depot.  
  
Tina’s attracted the artsy, poetry jam session types who, when not hanging out in drama club back at school, hung out there. I’d gone once or twice as I had a hidden fascination over the power of words and how they could be used. Plus, as my english teacher would say and I would adamantly deny since it was beyond uncool, I had a knack for writing poetry myself. But after a ten minute poem of the injustices of being a vegan in a meat hungry society, I was out. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had nothing against a vegan chick wanting to use the open platform to speak her mind, but honestly after about the hundredth time of her spouting the likes of “meat is murder”, all I could shamefully think of was how my grumbling stomach craved a nice, juicy, cow-filled burger.  
  
Brad Hamilton’s house, on the other hand, was for the cheerleaders, jocks, and popular kids alike. I was apart of the latter, as I was neither a jock nor cheerleader, obviously. I was just a kid who liked to have fun and subsequently my quench for said fun rubbed off on others around me so one day, _BAM_! I was popular, despite being in a garage band with my friends Jack (who without me, I’m sure would’ve been seen as the class weirdo...more so, that is) and Rian, who was an overly proud band geek. It wasn’t much and we were still far from professional mostly thanks to the fact that Jack and I amused ourselves with crude jokes and otherwise childish banter in between songs, but we had a blast, even if we’d only made a couple bucks doing it.  
  
The problem with Brad’s house was, in my experience, pretty obvious: his parents. They both worked long hours at the general hospital downtown, which explained A) why his house was Beverly Hills gigantic and B) why Brad was able to throw as many parties as he did. Most of the time, his parties went down flawlessly, with epic stories galore to be told the following day at school. But every now and then, his parents came home a little earlier than expected and...well...all hell broke loose. I hadn’t been to a party where this had happened, thank God. My own parents would’ve probably flipped the fuck out if they found out I was there, as in their eyes, I’m still the law abiding, goody two shoes dork I was back in middle school.  
I mean, I guess I’m mostly the same guy. I’d like to think I’m still a nice guy and everything. I just like to get my drink on and hook up with hot girls, that’s all.  
  
But of course, they didn’t need to know that, so that shit’ll go with me to my grave as far as I’m concerned.  
  
So with the threat of my life as I knew it blowing up in my face, Brad’s parties were a no go for me.  
  
This left the Depot.  
  
At first, the nightclub on the corner of North Charles street doesn’t look like your a-typical hangout for the adolescent youth, what with it’s barely there entrance and neon signage straight out of the eighties, but believe me, it’s _the_ placeto go. My brother introduced it to me when he was visiting from college and I was still a lowly, nerdy freshman, and boy did it change my life.  
  
See, the Depot isn’t any old nightclub. It’s not like all those other boring ass generic clubs where the DJ plays obnoxious house music so loud you feel like you’re in an earthquake and all the girls look like they just walked straight out of Barbie’s drunken dream house. No, this place is the real deal. They use real local bands, which naturally attracts music nerds like me, which thusly equates to a hell of a time.  
  
In short, it’s the fucking _bomb_.  
  
When I walked into the Depot with Jack that school night, hoping to blow off some steam thanks to a certain girl with fire-red hair, things started off great. The band currently on stage were making the whole club go nuts thanks to their killer cover of a classic Green Day song, and the girls drunkenly dancing along in the front instantly put a smile on my face as I thought maybe getting over Mickey’s rejection wouldn’t be so hard after all.  
  
“Dude, this place is fuckin’ _killing_ it tonight.” Jack commented happily next to me, his voice loud as he had to talk over the awesome, albeit loud, music.  
  
I nodded in agreement, finding the organized chaos to be oddly calming.  
  
“Me thinks we’re gonna get laid tonight.” Jack added with a goofy, giddy laugh, his eyes darting towards the very group of tipsy girls I’d zeroed in on the second we walked in.  
“Only if you don’t fuck it up like last time.” I responded lightly in jest, nudging him as I smirked.  
  
His shoulders fell as his bottom lip puffed in a pout. “Come on, ‘lex! You know Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my favorite movies! I couldn’t just stand by and watch some floozy call it stupid! I just _couldn’t_!”  
  
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I know, bud.” I patted his shoulder a couple of times, calming down his cartoonish annoyance with ease. I glanced at my best friend and raised my brow before adding with a light laugh, “Hey, at least she didn’t insult Home Alone, right?”  
  
Jack huffed a laugh, as if the thought was the most asinine thing he’d ever heard. “As if anyone hates _Home Alone_.”  
  
My light smile only grew wider at Jack’s confidence, letting his comment die as my vision scanned the patrons of the club for the night. There was a sprinkling of familiar faces, either from school or from previous nights, but it looked like there was enough of a variation of fresh faces that I genuinely had a shot at getting that one night stand I desperately needed, even more than usual.  
  
 _Thanks again, Mickey.  
_  
I took a deep breath, feeling my heart already begin to patter over natural nerves before daringly taking the first step towards the bar, yet another reason why I preferred this place over all else. Like many states in the good ol’ US of A, Maryland’s drinking age was a distant 21. The bartender at the Depot, however, didn’t give a flying fuck what age we were if our flimsy attempts at a fake ID were anything to go by. As long as we payed what we owed by the end of the night, we could drink to our hearts desire.  
  
“What’s up, Ray?” I greeted the slightly older man with a friendly grin.  
  
“Hey Alex!” The bartender smiled back, arms already reaching towards my go-to order of a shot of Jose. “The usual?”  
  
I bobbed my head. “You know it.”  
  
He poured me two shots, just enough to give me a quick buzz.  
  
“My usual too, my man!” Jack hopped behind me, clumsily falling into the bar stool I was currently standing next to.  
  
Ray raised a brow towards my skunk haired friend before glancing back towards me with a hesitant gaze. “Is he already drunk?”  
  
“Nah, he’s good.” I assured him. “Jack’s always running into things, drunk or sober.”  
  
Ray shrugged, grabbing a Stella and popping open the cap before placing it in front of Jack, who didn’t even bother denying his graceless nature. “That I am.”  
  
Properly armed with alcohol, I then turned my attention towards the growing dance floor, occupied with the usual mix of couples and singles looking for their pray. It was as I was observing a particularly hot blonde with a fuck-me gaze that I caught a flash of red.  
Not just any shade of red, either. It was the exact same shade of fire engine red that had graced my bed sheets earlier that week.  
  
That’s right:  
  
Mickey.  
  
She was currently grinding up against a guy with dark hair and tight black jeans, and boy, was she working it. Her body was on fire, practically screaming out her sexual urges as she twisted and teased in front of the guy.  
  
Instantly, any thought of the girl I’d been pining for was erased, my mind focused on the siren who’d been plaguing my mind once more, jealously coursing my veins.  
  
It didn’t help that the guy she was currently teasing with her dance moves was none other than Devon Kline, the worst kid I’d ever had the displeasure of knowing. He was a few years older than me, but that didn’t stop all the stories about his behavior from spreading at school, even after he dropped out. He did everything the atypical bad boy was known for. He drank, he smoked, he did drugs, he stole--the list went on.  
  
The thing that worried me the most, was more recently, there were rumors of abuse towards girls. Albeit, unconfirmed rumors, but it didn’t make seeing Mickey so close to him any easier.  
Without a thought of what I’d say, I maneuvered my way through the crowd, stalking up to her with annoyed eyes. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hissed, causing Mickey to let out a small gasp as I’d completely caught her off guard.  
  
Her eyes were only shocked for a millisecond, turning into narrowed anger on a flash. “None of your goddamn business!” She snapped back.  
  
I shook my head, getting majorly bad vibes from Devon, but pushed through stubbornly. “Mickey, come on. You can come hang out with me and Jack, just...” My brown eyes glanced towards Devon, who was glaring daggers. I cleared my throat nervously. “...please?” I finished pathetically.  
  
She scrunched up her nose, my suggestion seemingly the last thing she wanted to do. “Fuck off, Alex.”  
  
“But, Mick--”  
  
“You heard her.” Devon growled dangerously, shoving me back a bit. “Get lost.”  
  
Mickey continued to silently glare at me, as if wondering why the hell I wouldn’t leave her the fuck alone like she’d told me to do so many times since our encounter.  
  
I sighed, running a tense hand through my brown hair. I wondered for a second if I should just do what she wanted, and let whatever mistakes I knew she’d be making bite her in the ass.  
  
Thing was, I knew if I just stood by and let things happen--like Devon, for example, I would never forgive myself. “Mickey, for the last time, please come with me and--”  
  
I never got to finish my sentence. Instead of hearing me out like I was hoping, Mickey chose to cut me off, not with words this time, but with alcohol, literally pouring the rest of her beer’s contents onto my head in a sudsy mess.  
  
“That enough of an answer for you this time, Gaskarth?” She asked, dark rimmed eyes fed up as she met my surprised gaze. “Leave me the _fuck_ alone.”  
  
She stormed off for the second time in my life, leaving me shocked and wet, smelling like alcohol. Devon followed her shortly after, but not before leaning towards me, his voice low as he threatened, “Do what she asks or next time you’ll wish it was just beer that hit you.”


	5. Chapter Five: And To Think They Want Us To Be Friends

**Mickey's POV:**  
  
I, just like every other teenager, expected to have a nice Saturday evening. Some would think of staying in and watching movies in their pajamas, others spent their time studying and doing extra homework, and then there were the ones who liked to hang out with friends. Although I was legally considered an adult, I was the person who enjoyed the latter. However, my view of hanging out of friends might be a bit different to anybody else’s view. You see, to me, it wasn’t going to the movies or going out to dinner or anything of the like. Whenever there was a party, I’d go to it like everybody else, but when there wasn’t one I’d be getting together with the friends I had and would be hanging out at one of their places. The lights would be dimmed, the bottles of liquor would come out, and weed would definitely be smoked. It always led to the best night of the week including a one-night stand with one of those friends. Well, if you could still consider it a one-night stand. These friends would find themselves in my bed a bit more frequently.  
  
Yes, yes, I know I said that I didn’t do friends, especially with guys I slept with. Let me clarify that a little. You see, like I mentioned often before, school and friends were separate, which meant that the rules for friends outside of school were different. First of all, I didn’t mind those people wanting to be friends with me, which is pretty obvious; secondly, I’d happily be fuck buddies as long as they didn’t get attached and didn’t mind me sleeping around with other people as well. The only reason why I’m not being gender specific is because I did have a couple of experiences with girls as well. Personally, I liked the male gender more to sleep with, but switching it up sometimes was also pretty exciting.  
  
I just hated making friends at school. They were always so dependent on me and would expect me to be ready to do things 24/7. Bitch, _no_. I like my alone time occasionally, I’ll choose when I want to hang out with you, not the other way around. At school, I’d never be able to avoid them, even though I was rarely there. I could easily avoid people outside of school if I wanted to. And I didn’t have to worry about them running off to a teacher and starting rumors about me.  
  
You see, so many reasons to ignore everybody at school unless I was planning on going home with them, doing what I wanted, and then leaving as soon as I was done. Why stick around when you don’t have any intention of staying and doing something else?  
  
Anyway, back to what I originally wanted to say about my new friends. I met them at this weird-ass club I went to called _‘The Depot’_. It was small and didn’t smell all too great, but I was having the time of my life, the people were definitely my kind. But then Alex had to come and ruin it all for me. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just leave me the hell alone. You’d think that after embarrassing him in front of the school, he’d avoid me, but that obviously didn’t work. Maybe the shower I gave him would change his mind a little. I had beer spilled over me before and it didn’t feel very great, nor did it give off the greatest fragrance. Fortunately for me, my night still ended just as I had planned -- no, scrap that… _way better._  
  
The guy I had been playing around with, Devon, followed me to the bathroom where he proceeded the fuck me senseless -- _don’t_ excuse my language -- before taking me back to his scruffy and messy place and going for round two. He was definitely on my top three list and I could see him becoming that one friend I’d hook up with whenever either of us wanted. Now, if Alex had been as good as Devon, I would have probably given him a second thought, but he came nowhere close.  
  
Devon was fighting for first place on my list, while Alex was at measly twenty-five.  
  
So, I was going to meet up with Devon and his friends again that evening doing what I usually did on Saturdays. I wasn’t expecting to come back home until early in the morning when I’d still have to sneak back inside. It wouldn’t have surprised me if I ended up in Devon’s bed again. Actually, it was exactly what I planned on. I wore a dark dress that was a mix between tank top- and skater dress, covered by multiple Deathly Hallows symbols fitting together. The main part was that I was showing the perfect amount of cleavage and my black combat boots made my legs look hot as fuck. It was important to get the attention of the guys and show off my intentions. There was no way I was going home without a good screw.  
  
However, it seemed like it wasn’t even going to get close to happening. Before I could announce that I was ‘going to bed’ and lock my door (my parents knew better than to come in when I did that. They once did and walked in on me, how do I put this, _pleasuring_ myself, which was pretty hilarious), my mom knocked on my door and carefully peeked inside until she saw I wasn’t doing anything deemed inappropriate and opened the door fully.  
  
“Oh, good, you’re dressed already!” She smiled as she saw me dressed up and wearing more makeup than I’d wear on normal days. You see, I actually took my time to create an intense dark brown smokey eye and red lips. I just didn’t understand why she was so happy about it.  
  
“Already?” I challenged and didn’t bother taking out my earphones as I continued to doodle a black and white dragon-like figure. All I really worked on if I sketched was new tattoo ideas. Many of them were just left on paper and never made reality, but occasionally I would really consider putting it on my body, only having problems with finding the money to be able to afford it.  
  
“Yeah, the neighbors from across the road are coming over for dinner. They have a son just a little younger than you who’s coming as well, maybe you can become friends.” She told me hopefully, walking further into my room and visibly noticing I added more posters to my walls.  
  
“Since when?” I groaned and put my pen down. This was not my plan for my evening. I was not going to have some boring old dinner with people I didn’t care about. They were probably going to tell on me anyway if they ever saw me climbing back into the house. “I really hope you’re not expecting me to come downstairs. I was actually hoping on going to bed soon.”  
  
She rolled her eyes and reached out to unplug my earphones from my iPod (it was one of those super cool new 2005 iPod classic ones, which I had ‘saved up’ for. That basically meant money I got for other things was spent on it). I glared at her as she kept hold of it, not showing any signs of giving it back to me soon. “I know you better than that. You look way too dressed up to be going to bed anytime soon. But thanks for telling me that it wasn’t because you were trying to make a good impression on potential friends.”  
  
“Mom, I already told you. I am not willing to make friends other than the people I actually am interested in. I found those people, there is no need forcing me to make new fake friends. If I don’t like somebody, I’m not going to try to get them to like me. I don’t need any more ‘friends’.”  
  
 _“Excuse_ me! When did you find these so-called ‘friends’. If I recall correctly, you are grounded this week.” She scolded, slipping the iPod into her pocket. I looked at it, already trying to figure out how to steal it back.  
  
“Oh, please,” I scoffed and leaned back further into my hair while crossing my arms, “both you and dad haven’t been home most evenings of the week, what do you expect?”  
  
Her eyes softened as she retreated a little. “Right… I, um, I’m going to finish setting up.”  
  
With that, the exited my room and I was left without any music to keep me company. The shitty old CD player I had didn’t work since drunk me thought it would be a great idea to use it as a soccer ball. I also used to have a stereo system, but that got confiscated after my parents found weed in my bedroom two years ago. The only thing I learned from that was to hide everything better and not be the stupid idiot I was thinking that underneath my mattress was the best place to hide everything I didn’t want them finding. At least I was smart enough not to hide everything in the same place, or I would have been screwed. _Holy fuck,_ if they had found the cigarettes I kept, they would have been absolutely furious. Oh, and don’t forget about the condoms. That would have been _amazing!_  
  
I continued working on my sketch without my music. It absolutely sucked without my own personal playlist blasting all my favorite songs. I just couldn’t get into the groove of putting down pencil strokes without it.  
  
Apparently, I didn’t have to worry about it too much because the doorbell rang soon after. I sighed, hoping I could just hide out up here for the entire night and sneak out anyway, even though I knew my mom would be checking frequently now that she knew what I was going to do. But also that thought was cut short by my name being shouted up the stairs, calling me to come.  
  
If only I had decided to go out just a bit earlier, this could have all been avoided.  
  
Nonetheless, I got up from my desk chair and walked down the stairs. In the hallway just in front of the closed front door were three people. It was obvious which one was said son my mom was talking about. I already knew there was no way we were going to be friends. How did I know? Well, I recognized him from the group Alex hung out with after having eaten lunch with them just to get closer to Alex. Any friend of Alex was _not_ going to be my friend.  
  
Not that I would have wanted to be friends with him anyway. First of all, he went to my school; second of all, I wouldn’t even be attracted to him outside of school. He had this short hair that caused him to have weird curls and stupid-ass bangs. Like, I didn’t want to judge his looks, but I basically chose my friends through the people I was sexually attracted to. For example, Devon was hot as fuck, so his friends were also now mine. Alex, while I used to think he was pretty good looking, was no longer on that list. Easy as that.  
  
When I finally decided to make my appearance, the guy immediately recognized me as well. He had to take a double-take, but his eyes widened when he realized that I was the girl that moved in across from him. In spite of that, he still decided to question it. _“Mickey?”_  
  
“You guys know each other?” Mom directly took the chance the further my ‘friendship’ with a guy I had no intention of even talking to.  
  
“Well, we go to the same school,” the guy whose name I still couldn’t remember said. He really was one of those polite guys; not talking in a rude manner, answering whenever an authority figure asked him a question, actually caring about school. Basically a complete opposite of me.  
  
“I’m glad she’s actually showing up and not just ‘going to school’.” My mom used air quotes to emphasize what she said instead of explicitly saying I skipped school on a regular basis.  
  
“I always _go_ to school,” I rolled my eyes in an annoyed way, like every teenager would they when they were not understood, “I just don’t always _arrive.”_  
  
“I can assure you that, as far as I know, she’s been there every day.” The guy confirmed with a smile. It was almost as if he was trying to make me seem like a good person here. I did not want that.  
  
“Anywho, I’m going to go now.” I turned on my heels and went to go to the kitchen, only to be stopped by dad.  
  
He was coming out of the same room I was heading towards, and noticed what I was trying to do. So, he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me back around to the direction I came from, and shook his head. “I don’t think so.”  
  
“Fine,” I sighed and walked back to be beside my mom. I reached out for her pocket and carefully pulled out my iPod with my fore- and middle finger. The guy from my school saw it happening but I glared at him to keep his mouth shut. “I’ll be going to my room then.”  
  
I started making my way upstairs when my mom called out for me one last time. “Take Rian with you!”  
  
Oh, right. _Ryan_. Or however you spelled his name. I remember Alex and Jack telling me that it wasn’t spelled the usual way when I was introduced to him on my very first day. It was something like Rayn or Rain. No, no… the spelling still made sense if you said it out loud. _Rian_. Yes. That was it.  
  
His footsteps soon followed me up the stairs and into my room. I let myself fall back onto my desk chair and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He just frowned back and I gestured towards the door with my head. However, he didn’t seem to get it, so I huffed as I got off my chair and made it very clear that I was closing the door.  
  
When I sat back down while he just awkwardly kept standing there, I gave him a serious look as I made my fingertips touch in a steeple-like position. “Ok, so here’s the deal. I don’t want to be here, I actually have other plans. So, I’m going to climb out of this window and you’re going to cover for me. I don’t know how you want to do it, but you’re going to do it.”  
  
“Um…” He squinted at me as if he was trying to see if I was making a joke or not, but I was being 100% serious.  
  
“Good doing business with you,” I thanked and got up once again. This time, I picked up my black bomber jacket and went right for the window. Maybe Rian being here was going to be an advantage; if it had just been his parents, I would have been screwed.  
  
But, once again, I was wrong. Before I could even reach the small lock to open the upward sliding window, Rian was in between me and my destiny. I scowled at him, staring right at his face. I wasn’t that much shorter than him, meaning this was basically us staring each other down.  
  
“No way.” He shook his head disapprovingly.  
  
“You don’t understand, I will go out no matter what.” I drilled into him, reaching out to try to open it again, but he moved his body so that my arm was pushed away. “Oh, I get it. You want to have something in this for you. How about a blowjob, would that be good?”  
  
“I have a girlfriend.” He stated.  
  
“I’ve slept with married men before and it doesn’t stop me,” I shrugged nonchalantly, “but I get it. It’s not like I would have actually done it. I mean, I don’t exactly have the desire to. At least you’re not one of _those_ creeps.”  
  
Rians face fell at my words, but not for the reason I thought it did. “Are you sure you’re ok?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I laughed and threw my flip phone on my bed while putting my iPod on my table. “But, fine. I’ll stay, but only because you’re too afraid to get into trouble.”  
  
“I’m not stupid, that’s not going to work on me. Try to guilt trip me as much as you’d like, I’m not going to give in. Of course I don’t want to be the reason why you’re going to be out doing whatever you do.”  
  
“Suit yourself,” I said as I put the iPod in the speakers I had, “but we’re playing my music and I’m not going to acknowledge you unless I feel like it.”  
  
I didn’t wait for Rian to reply. He sat down at the foot of my bed, just looking around my room. I wanted to tell him to get off and sit somewhere else, but I didn’t have another chair around, meaning he’d just awkwardly stand there. I’d rather have him sitting somewhere I didn’t want him to while just looking at all the posters I had than have him stand and stare at me.  
  
I took out my black fineliners to start going over the pencil I had drawn before, inking the marks down forever. Any wrong move and my whole drawing would be ruined. If Rian would be the one to cause it, he would have wished he’d never been my neighbor, let alone had shown up with his parents for dinner. I was seriously considering putting the artwork on my body, I did not want to fuck it up and redo it all only for it not to turn out the same.  
  
We were consumed by silence, other than the music that was playing quite loudly, until _Head On Collision_ by New Found Glory started playing.  
  
“Hey, this is the song my band’s named after, _All Time Low,”_ Rian remarked.  
  
“Hmm, ‘kay.” I nodded, acting not interested at all. He obviously already forgot about one of the rules. However, the fact that he was in a band did seem to intrigue me a bit. You see, I had a beautiful electric guitar that I had once gotten for my birthday a long time ago, but I never really learned how to play it. We moved too often for me to take lessons and there was no other way for me to learn it myself except for buying books. But who wanted to read all that shit? So, it was unused, even though I had been dying to play it for years.  
  
“You guys any good?” I asked Rian, only briefly looking over my shoulders to see him staring at one of my large Nirvana posters.  
  
“I mean, I don’t know…” He shrugged, “the others are insisting on us getting serious and getting a record deal, but I have my doubts. I’m definitely going to make sure my grades are good enough for any of the colleges or universities I want to go to. I feel like it’s just going to be another high school band that never really turned into something big.”  
  
“What do you play?”  
  
“Drums. A guy from another school, Zack, plays bass, Jack plays guitar,” he started telling me about all the members, already making me less interested when he said Jack’s name, but then it got worse, “and Alex does lead vocals and also plays guitar.”  
  
“Well, _forget_ I asked then.” Anything that included Alex was a complete turn off to me. I didn’t care if they sounded decent, the fact that he was in the band already made it horrible. There was no way I would listen to songs with his voice in it, knowing he played some of the guitar parts, and that he wrote the songs. No way. Never. Nunca.  
  
“What do you have against Alex?”  
  
“Are you really asking me that right now?” I asked in disgust and decided to put down my pen before I screwed up because of my rage. “I made my intentions very clear. I started off nicely, but he won’t listen. All it was was a one night stand; I told him I didn’t want to be his friend, which then had to turn into me telling him not to talk to me because he didn’t get the hint. But he still follows me around like I’m the keeper of a secret he needs to know. I just want him to back off and let me do me without him interfering.”  
  
“Well, you are the first girl to do that to him… maybe he's just confused,” Rian tried to reason, but I wasn’t having any of it.  
  
“His problem not mine. He should learn to deal with it.”  
  
“But--”  
  
Rian was cut off by my cellphone ringing. I rolled my eyes at his stupid attempts of trying to defend his friend. Never in a million years would I think differently about Alex. So, to show that our conversation was officially over, I took my iPod back out of the speakers and listened to music through my earphones. However, Rian continued to talk.  
  
“Some person called Michael is calling you.” He was holding the open flip phone in one hand, looking at the small display.  
  
“Michael as in California-the-one-with-the-abs Michael? Or really-good-at-oral-sex Michael?” I inquired, not knowing why either of them would desire to call me. I hadn’t had contact with them since I had to move away from the cities I met the two in.  
  
“It just says Michael…”  
  
“Oh, decline the call then. It’s just my father.”  
  
Rian looked towards me with a questioning look. “Isn’t he downstairs?”  
  
“It’s really none of your business,” I snapped back.  
  
Were all guys in Baltimore so nosey and annoying?


	6. Chapter Six: We Have An Insider

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I had my fair share of girls being mad at me. It wasn’t an unusual thing for me. Either they expected me to change for them or they hated me for leaving early in the morning. But the thing was, I was ok with them becoming all hot-headed about those things. I inflicted it upon myself, and it made me feel powerful. Never did I ever consider how these girls felt. I guess you could say I played around, and I wasn’t going to deny it. Everybody knew what I was like. I had my one night stands, I had my friends with benefits, and nothing was going to change that.  
  
If only Mickey wouldn’t have gotten in the way.  
  
I had never planned for a girl like her to consume my life the way she did. But then again, I never knew a girl like her existed; knowing exactly what she wanted, but strong enough to not let anybody play around with her. She was different than any girl I had ever met. She didn’t throw herself at me like some girls would do, she did it skillfully while playing tricks with my mind. I was the one to normally be the strong one, but somehow she managed to reverse the roles for once.  
  
While I didn’t want it to be too obvious that I was so infatuated with her, everything I did seemed to show otherwise. I couldn’t help myself from trying to protect her from all the bad and from trying to be friends with her. It didn’t even have to be a sexual relationship, I just needed the girl who was different in my life. She made me realize that what I was doing wasn’t any good. Maybe she was going to be the one to change my life for the better.  
  
But that seemed to be the problem. I wanted friendship, while she only wanted the sexual benefits. However, there was no way she wanted any of that from me.  
  
Was I going to give up, though? Hell, no.  
  
I continued to keep my eye on her, occasionally trying to approach her, but with no luck. She’d find a way to shut me down, but that was only if I actually managed to get close to her. She was great at avoiding me even though she was new. Somehow she knew about all the other passages she could take to get to her destination.  
  
I already knew better than going up to her during lunch. I couldn’t afford her blowing up on me again and trying to ruin my entire reputation. She was _wrong_ when she called me clingy. I was not clingy. Everybody here knew that. Somebody like Mickey couldn’t just change that in a heartbeat.  
  
It didn’t stop me from looking over Jack’s shoulder as she sat all by herself at the far back table that she had claimed. Something inside me felt bad for her. Nobody deserved to sit all alone. But I knew she didn’t want it any other way. She just ate whatever food she had, listening to music through earphones, and occasionally sending guys away. They were all stupid enough to think that they could choose if they wanted to sleep with her. It was Mickey who chose who she slept with, not the other way around.  
  
And that was what kept me going. She had chosen me before. There had to be a way to break down that wall again.  
  
“You’ll never guess what happened yesterday!” A very disheveled Rian sat down next to Jack, making it nearly impossible for me to look at Mickey. The only thing visible was her red hair.  
  
“I don’t want to hear about your neighbors complaining about our ‘loud noise’ again.” I rolled my eyes and tried shifting a little to find a way to see her again. However, Rian’s body kept getting in the way, so I glared at him. “Will you move over a little?”  
  
Rian stared right back at me before realizing it wasn’t him that I was focused on. He followed my gaze and looked right at the person I had been glancing at. Instead of telling me to stop obsessing over her like most people, he turned back to me with a frightening grin. “You’re going to want to hear this.”  
  
“Just tell us.” Jack groaned, fed up with Rian’s suspense.  
  
“Ok, so, remember how nobody’s been living in the house across from mine? Well--”  
  
“I said I didn’t want to hear about your neighbors,” I muttered and reached out to push Jack out of the way a little. He seemed focused enough on his food to not be bothered by my actions. To my relief, Mickey was still in the same exact position as before; she hadn’t decided to sneak out of school and off to Devon just yet.  
  
“No, you don’t understand,” Rian continued, closing the gap once again by shuffling closer to Jack, “you _do_ want to hear about this. My parents and I went over last night to meet the new neighbors, and guess who their daughter is: _Mickey!”_  
  
 _“What?!”_ My attention fully turned to my friend. I wasn’t expecting this day to be any different to any other, but it was turning out much better.  
  
He nodded enthusiastically to hype me up even more. “Yeah, and her parents are making me keep an eye on her, even outside of school, so I will be forced to spend a lot of time with her.”  
  
“You need coincidentally make me come over the same days you have to hang out with her!” I begged in a manner that even I would consider overly pathetic.  
  
“I was thinking I first try to gain her trust a little before I start doing crazy things like that. If you suddenly show up, she’s not going to want anything to do with either of us, and I’m not going to be the reason why she goes out on a dangerous escapade.” He suggested instead, no longer matching up to my intense interest.  
  
“Ok, I can deal with that. Once you have her trust, though, you need to get me in there. For now, I’ll be fine with any information you can get.” I tried persuading, nearly borderline threatening him. “I need to figure out what makes her so different.”  
  
“You sure you’re not in love, bro?” Jack snorted from his first class seat.  
  
“Alex Gaskarth does not fall in love.”


	7. Chapter Seven: He Won't Tell Anyone, I Know It

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
Avoiding people was one of the easiest things for me to do. At school was a little more difficult, but I just walked the other way or I just didn’t show up. The latter was what I was doing more often now. After Rian had confirmed that I had been there the first week of school, my parents gained a little more trust in me, so I decided to use it as to my advantage. Now I just needed to somehow get Rian to lie for me and not tell anybody I was barely showing up anymore. Sure, I came to school occasionally, but the lessons were so boring. I also tried to make sure I did go to every class I shared with Rian, that way I could trick him into thinking I did come to school most days. But you never know.  
  
This time, I had decided to only show up for a part of the school day. I didn’t feel like waking up early, so I slept in; I didn’t feel like ending late, so I left early. Why go if the lessons were going to be useless to me?  
  
Instead of doing my homework, which had been abandoned in my locker and on my desk ever since the teachers started giving it to us, I decided to go out for a run. While I burned more than enough calories while doing the activities I usually did during the night, I still liked exercising occasionally and staying in shape. Which girl didn’t?  
  
I had changed into shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes, my iPod in my pocket and one earbud in my ears already. For once, I actually decided to bring my keys with me, knowing that after running I would not feel like climbing into my window at all.  
  
But when I opened the front door, I was close to turning back around and not looking back ever again. I had chosen the exact moment that ‘All Time Low’ ended their practice, to decide that I was going to go outside. Rian was letting the three other guys out of his house, practically pushing them out of the front door and close to yelling at them to leave. I just prayed that I wasn’t spotted by any of them and that I could hide inside for just a little while longer.  
  
Wait. _No._ That was the wrong logic to go by.  
  
Avoiding them did not mean that I had to be the one to always go out of my way to make sure I didn’t see them. I could also just easily ignore them if they were to see me. They couldn’t stop me for going out running. Hiding from them made me seem weak, and I was anything but weak.  
  
I opened the door again and acted like I hadn’t even seen that there were people outside on the other side of the road. After locking the door being me, I stuffed the key in my pocket and got ready to start my jog as soon as I got on the sidewalk. And it actually seemed to work. Nobody acknowledged my presence.  
  
However, as soon as I wanted to start running, my name was called out.  
  
“Mickey!” Rian shouted as he noticed that I was leaving and not planning on coming back in a minute. “You can’t just leave! You’re supposed to stay and I’m supposed to make sure you do.”  
  
“And when were you supposed to come over again?” I shouted back at him, rolling my eyes at his overprotectiveness. This was much different than when Alex wanted ‘what was best for me’, because I knew Rian was doing it because he didn’t want trouble. Alex, on the other hand, tried to make it seem like it was for my good, while it was only for what he wanted.  
  
“At six…?”  
  
“Exactly. That’s in half an hour. I have half an hour to myself!” I started running down the street, not even bothering to know where exactly I was going, as I put in my other earbud and turned up the music. I usually went to the left, but this time I decided to go to the right.  
  
I honestly believed that I was free after that, but I couldn’t hear the footsteps trying to catch up with me. I did, however, feel the hand grabbing my wrist and trying to pull me back. Before they could fully stop me, though, I twisted around and grabbed the arm back. My position ended with my hand around the person’s neck, giving me the advantage if a fight were to happen.  
  
But it was just Alex.  
  
“Don’t _touch_ me,” I seethed and pushed him back, my intentions not to hurt him, while he looked at me with a hint of fear in his eyes.  
  
\----  
  
When I got back, Rian was already waiting in front of the front door. I turned off my music and got out my keys without bothering to greet him. As soon as we were inside, I threw my keys onto the small table we had in the hallway and beelined to the kitchen.  
  
“I’m only one minute late,” I remarked as I saw the oven clock saying it was one minute past six, “you happy?”  
  
“Well, it would have been pretty awkward if you decided not to come back and I had to wait for you,” Rian replied, following me slowly while looking a little lost and not knowing where to go.  
  
“You’re lucky I don’t have plans today,” I said while searching the cabinets and fridge for any food my mom had left me for dinner. Usually, she’d leave something easy for me to cook or something for me to heat up with a sticky note on all the things I needed. I’d always find it in either the cupboards, the fridge, or the oven.  
  
After not finding anything, I saw found a note on the counter, telling me to order pizza for both me and Rian and that he had the money to pay for it. I rolled my eyes, but knew that I wouldn’t have used all the money on pizza but also wouldn’t have given it back to my mom.  
  
“Apparently you have money for food,” I stated and reached out for the home phone, already looking for the number for the pizza place in a pile of advertisements and brochures we had.  
  
“Yeah, your mom gave it to me this morning.” He pulled out his wallet and took out two twenty dollar bills.  
  
I started at the money in surprise. “You actually kept it all?!”  
  
“What else was I supposed to do with it? Plus, we wouldn’t have food otherwise.”  
  
“Whatever floats your boat,” I shrugged and started entering the phone number. “I’m getting two large pepperoni pizzas, I hope you like that.”  
  
Rian sat down on one of the barstools and put the money back in his wallet, keeping an eye on me. “Yeah, that’s fine. But why two large ones? I’m sure we could finish one large one together.”  
  
“Of course, but it will be easy breakfast tomorrow and I need something for dinner tomorrow evening as well,” I told him as if it were the most obvious explanation ever while the phone started ringing.  
  
“You’re parents are out tomorrow as well?”  
  
“My dad’s back at nine thirty, don’t worry.”  
  
Somebody picked up my call after that and I placed my order. I could already tell that the delivery guy was going to judge me for seemingly ordering two large pizzas just for myself. Usually, a teen ordering something like that would mean there was a ‘get together’ going on. But, hey, why would I care what they think? If they were cute, I could always find a way to make myself seem innocent. Only, I had no reason to want to sleep with anybody anymore. I had that all taken care of.  
  
I poured two glasses of soda without asking Rian if he wanted any, and handed one to him while taking the other for myself. I had no intention of talking to him at all for the rest of the evening. He wasn’t here for me, he wasn’t here to keep me company. The only reason I was blessed with his presence was because my parents didn’t trust me. Now that’s bullshit.  
  
“Somebody’s calling you again,” Rian announced as he pointed at the flip phone that didn’t make any noise while I was being called (it was only set that way because I had purposely set the ringtone to silent). “The same guy as last time: Michael.”  
  
“Decline it,” I ordered him while flopping down on the couch and turning on the TV even though I still had to take a shower.  
  
After that, there was silence between the two of us again, only the sound of the TV filling the room. Well, that was until Rian said Michael was calling again. Of course, I told him to press decline again. But after that, it happened once again.  
  
I groaned and stood up, picking up the phone, breaking my streak of not talking to him for two months. “You need to stop calling me. It’s getting creepy. I don’t want to talk to you. So, _fuck off!”_  
  
With that, I ended the call, hoping that he would get the hint after that. I couldn’t stand him trying to call me every second of the day. He knew that I didn’t want any contact with him. He had known since he lost custody of me.  
  
“You’re pretty hostile, aren’t you?” Rian snorted before quickly looking away when he saw the rage in my eyes.  
  
“I’m _sorry_ that I _don’t_ like being grabbed from behind by random people, and I’m _sorry_ I _don’t_ like people trying to call me the entire time even though they know I don’t want to talk to them.” I snapped back, resisting the urge to throw my phone at the wall. I couldn’t afford a new phone.  
  
He raised his hands in defense and sighed. “Well, sorry for bringing it up. Who’s this Michael guy anyway? You said he was your dad, but isn’t he called Garry?”  
  
“No, I said he was my father. That’s a big difference, ok?” I glared at him. So much for being sorry that he brought up my aggression before. This was even worse.  
  
“Father as in a minister?” Rian questioned next, only making my look harder. “Look I’m just asking.”  
  
“Of course not a minister!” I scoffed, “‘cause, forgive me, Father, for I have _sinned!”_  
  
Rian continued to ask, “who is he then?”  
  
“Why would I tell you?”  
  
“Because I’m trying to get to know you better.”  
  
“I know for a fact that you will open your mouth and tell Alex. He just needs to learn to leave me alone. There is no way that you’re his best friend and trying to get information out of me without him knowing every single word I said. For all I know, you could even be as petty as to record everything right now!” I stared him down as if I were interrogating him, seeing if he would break and spill everything.  
  
“Of course I wouldn’t record this,” he protested, ignoring everything else I said. He was probably trying to divert me from what I was thinking, but it only told me that the rest I said was true.  
  
“Come on, it can’t be _that_ bad.” He begged after he saw that I really wasn’t going to be answering.  
  
Before I could reject again, the doorbell rang. Knowing that this was my escape to him asking me any further questions, I quickly told him what he wanted to know while walking to the door. “He’s my biological father.”  
  
Once I opened the door, rather than seeing the pizza delivery guy, I saw Devon waiting for me on the other side. His motorcycle was parked out on the otherwise empty driveway, his hair was still spiked up due to the wind that would run through is when he drove, and he looked exceptionally sexy in a basic white tee, a leather jacket, and black skinny jeans.  
  
“What’s up?” He greeted and immediately leaned in to kiss me in the least innocent way possible.  
  
Our lips still connected, I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him inside, clumsily closing the door behind him. I knew exactly where I wanted this to go to, and I had a feeling he was thinking about the exact same thing. There was no way he’d be here looking like this if he wasn’t here for that. The fact that I was able to close the door behind him proved that he wasn’t thinking of leaving anytime soon.  
  
“I didn’t know you were coming over,” I whispered breathlessly against his lips, my heart racing with excitement.  
  
“I just remembered you told me your parents weren’t at home, so I decided to surprise my _girlfriend,”_ he told me with a smirk, looking my body up and down as much as he could while standing just inches away from me.  
  
“Well, I like this surprise.” I bit my lip before kissing him again with just as much heat as before, if not more. This time, I pushed his jacket past his shoulders and let my hands rub over his chest to get him going.  
  
“There’s a random pre-pubescent guy in your kitchen... “ Devon pointed out after he had briefly opened his eyes while biting and tugging at my bottom lip.  
  
“Ignore him.” I panted and resumed our kissing before realizing all he meant was that we couldn’t exactly take off our clothes in the living room while Rian was there to witness everything. So, I suggested something else while running my fingers up his chest, “I still need to take a shower.”  
  
“I’ll go get that ready for you.” He nodded and rushed up the stairs.  
  
I wanted to go follow him, but Rian interrupted. “You do know that he isn’t serious about you being his girlfriend, right? There’s no way he’s loyal to you.”  
  
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” I gave him a sly smile as I heard the water run upstairs, “trust me. He doesn’t have the capabilities of cheating on me right now. I’ve got him hooked for now. Once he gets bored, he might start cheating, but that won’t happen anytime soon. I mean, he is getting the shower ready for me right now. I’m pretty sure he’s more than satisfied. It’s just easier to have a guy so that I won’t have to worry about finding frequent one night stands.”  
  
His mouth dropped open at my words, causing me to snicker and run off to where Devon was waiting. When I entered the bathroom, my focus wasn’t on the water already being turned on. It was fully on the toned naked guy in front of me. Now, this was what I was talking about! After locking the door behind me, I rushed up to him and pushed him up against the wall while we both started working on taking all my clothes off.


	8. Chapter Eight: When it Rains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally written by atlfan08 on alltimelowfanfiction.com

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
Having Rian as my inside man into Mickey’s life put my mind at ease a little bit, emphasis on the word ‘little’. After all, this was _Rian_ we were talking about. He didn’t have the best track record being around people of the opposite sex. And here he was, given the Everest sized task of keeping an eye on _the_ most intimidating female on the planet.  
  
I loved the guy like a brother, but his virgin band geek-ness was bound to drive a girl like Mickey absolutely crazy sooner or later.  
  
Turns out, sooner happened quicker than expected.  
  
It’d only been a couple days of Rian’s babysitting gig, and Mickey’s parents had asked Rian to keep an eye on their rebellious daughter for the day, as they had to go into the city for some important business thing that they couldn’t reschedule.  
  
Rian had initially been hesitant to agree, as the last week of being around Mickey so much had scarred him, or so he’d said. _“There are some things I’ll never be able to unsee.” He’d told me when I asked him what the hell’d the girl had done to make him second guess his decision to help keep Mickey on the straight and narrow.  
  
“What did she do?” I repeated, a scowl on my face at Rian’s avoidance of my initial question.  
  
“She did **it** , that’s what.” Rian replied, nose scrunched in disgust as he added a shiver for dramatic effect.  
  
My eyes widened, that jealousy I’d been unable to hold back returning in folds. “What! With who?”  
  
Rian’s thick brows furrowed as he shot back in defense. “I didn’t exactly stop to ask his name, Alex. It was awkward enough as it was, having to hear them bang in the shower. You really think I wanted to talk to the guy after hearing him moan over the episode of the Simpsons I was miserably trying so very hard to focus on?”  
  
I pursed my lips for a second, the lack of identity killing me. “Well...what’d he look like? Did you get a good look at him?”  
  
“I don’t know, man. He looked older, I guess?”  
  
Normally, a solid lead. But with Mickey? That description meant shit. “Older. That’s a lot of help.”  
  
“Hey, I’m trying here--”  
  
“I know, I know.” I shook my head, knowing that at this point, identifying the man wouldn’t do much good anyway. “Anyway, you were saying her parents want you to hang with her on Saturday?”  
  
Rian nodded. “Yeah, they’re going into the city for a while and want me to keep an eye on her. I said I’d do it cause her mom pays me and you know I’ve been saving up for that new drum kit for our shows. Still, I told Mickey if she tries to pull anything else I’ll tell on her.”  
  
I let out a light snort at my friend’s choice of words. “You told her you’d tell on her?” Rian nodded, not finding anything wrong with that. “Dude, if you said that word for word, there’s no way in hell she’ll take you seriously.”  
  
“But I **am** serious.” Rian pressed on stubbornly.  
  
“I’m sure you are, bud.” I chuckled lightly. “But all Mickey sees is some marching band dweeb who can’t tell her to do shit, threat of telling on her or not.”_  
  
Turns out, I was right. Mickey didn’t give a flying fuck that her parents had put Rian in charge that Saturday afternoon. She didn’t give a fuck that they expected her to stay home until they got home, which could’ve been as late as one in the morning. And she certainly didn’t care that if she were to do anything outside of the house, her parents were one call away to squash any potential plans like a bug.  
  
She was going to do what she wanted. Period.  
  
Sure enough, a mere two hours after her parents had left for the city, Rian called me in a panic. “She’s gone, dude.”  
  
“What? Who’s gone?” I asked, my mind temporarily clouding over as I’d forgotten his very important task over the weekend.  
  
 _“Mickey!”_ He hissed into the phone, his worry and nerves clear as day as his voice shook. “Fuck, Alex. What am I supposed to do? Do I call her parents? The police? I don’t know--”  
  
“Don’t call anyone, not until we know what’s going on, anyway.” I responded, knowing that getting anyone else involved could spell bigger trouble for Mickey than necessary. So, instead of panicking and getting any adults involved, I got up and grabbed my jacket and keys, figuring that I might be able to figure out what the hell was going on and maybe, just maybe, I could get through to Mickey this time. Granted, the last few times I’d talked to her she’d looked so pissed off her eyes looked like they were about to shoot fire into my very soul. But, like the idiot I was, that didn’t stop me. Seething gazes or not, I didn’t think twice about heading out into the rainy fall day to find the rebellious redhead, only barely remembering to leave my parents a quick note before bracing myself for the stormy weather outside. “Do you have any idea where she could’ve gone?” I asked Rian, my cell pressed firmly to my ear as I pressed on outside, ignoring the steady drops of water falling around me. “Maybe a club or something?”  
  
I could hear Rian let out an exasperated sigh as he replied, “Maybe? I don’t know.” The phone crackled for a second or two before he added, “For all we know, she snuck off to go to the house of the guy she was boning.”  
  
I swallowed, my throat thick as I knew this to be an unfortunate, not to mention probable possibility. But before the jealousy arose once more, I shook my head, my brain moving on as I’d recalled something Rian had briefly mentioned when we were talking about his time with Mickey. “Wait. She shouldn’t have been able to take her car, right?” I asked, not seeing how she could’ve been able to get very far without the red pickup truck she drove to and from school. “Don’t you have her keys?”  
  
“Yeah... _about_ that...”  
  
My stomach lurched. “Don’t tell me she took the keys.”  
  
An awkward, uneasy silence fell over Rian for a second before he huffed, “Okay, fine. I won’t tell you.”  
  
I groaned at his smart ass remark. “Fucking hell, dude--”  
  
“I swear, I wasn’t paying attention for five minutes, that’s all--”  
  
“Well apparently that’s all it takes.” I shot back, pressing my shoulders into my car seat in agitation as I thought of what our options were. We could call her parents, which would lead to Rian getting in trouble for not keeping a closer eye on the one thing he was supposed to keep an eye on. If we called the police, Mickey could very easily end up jailed, you know, given all the illegal things she’d been known to do. Mickey already hated me as it was. I didn’t exactly want to add to the list of reasons why, and being the reason she got arrested would be a biggie.  
  
“So...” Rian’s nervous voice pulled me from my thoughts and back into reality. “...what are we gonna do?”  
  
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to take this one step at a time. “Let...let me drive over to your place and hopefully I’ll figure out what the fuck we’re gonna do, alright?”  
  
This seemed like a good enough response for Rian, his voice shaky. “Okay, okay...”  
  
“Deep breaths.” I reminded him.  
  
I could hear an immediate gulp of air on his end. “Okay.” He repeated.  
  
“I’ll be there in fifteen.” I said, then hung up the phone call before flipping my car into reverse, backing out of my driveway and towards Rian’s place around two miles away. I made this trip often, as our band practice was located in his basement, so I knew exactly how long it takes to get there from my house. Yet, as I made my way down the wet, slick roads, I couldn’t help but drive a little faster than normal, my mind on the girl causing this whole mess in the first place. I knew that if I wanted to, I could stop giving a damn, especially considering her constantly pushing me away ever since our one moment together, but my worry wouldn’t fade.  
  
Where was she? Was she safe? Both valid questions, though the answers were even more complicated thanks to the gloomy weather currently blanketing the Baltimore sky. Her old rust bucket of a car was scary to drive on a good day. I could only imagine what it was like on stormy, slick roads like I was seeing in front of me, the rain so thick I had to lean forward and squint my eyes to see, and that was with the windshield wipers working on full.  
  
I continued on my short journey to Rian’s place, my heart pounding in my chest as my eyes kept scanning for the girl with fire-y red hair. I wasn’t hoping for much, figuring that wherever Mickey went, she had hightailed it out of the neighborhood ages ago. But, as fate would have it, just ten minutes into my drive and a half mile away from her house, I found a certain rusty ass car pulled over on the side of the road, and a flash of red graced my eyes as I realized she was in the drivers seat.  
  
I let out a breath of relief, pulling my own car over just behind hers as I prepared myself for what I was going to say. After all, I was the last person, other than her parents, maybe, that she’d want to see. Before I could stress myself out over this fact, I grabbed the door handle, pulled my hoodie up so it covered my head from the rain, and hopped out of my car, stomping over to her car door with purpose. I knocked on her window, watching as she visibly jumped, her eyes darting towards me in shock and even through the rain speckled glass I could see that she’d been crying. I pulled back slightly, taken aback as this side of her was certainly not what I was expecting.  
  
Then, her lips pulled into a firm frown as she yelled through her car door, “Alex? How many times do I have to tell you to leave me the fuck alone?”  
  
Ignoring her question, I replied simply, my voice much calmer than the mess of emotions I was currently feeling, “Rian told me you snuck out.” I paused for a second as I peered briefly around her truck to make sure she was the only one in the vehicle. She was. “Looks like you got _real_ far.” I smirked.  
  
She rolled her eyes. “For your information, _smart ass--”_ She glared at me, motioning towards the front of the car. “My engine died.”  
  
Ah. So that explains her on the side of the road. As for the crying...well that would take way more work to get anything out of her. Instead of pressing her too much, I just replied honestly, “I’m surprised you didn’t call that boy toy of yours.”  
  
Her eyes continued to bore into mine, as if she was rueing the day she decided to talk to me, my presence alone a thorn in her side. “I would have, but as I was checking on the engine, I slipped and dropped my phone in a puddle.”  
  
I raised a brow, realizing I suddenly had a way in. “...well. I have a phone. And a car.” I smiled back at her gloomy, unimpressed features.  
  
“Is this your way of capping off my shit-storm of a day, Gaskarth?”  
  
“Oooh, it’s Gaskarth now, is it?”  
  
“Or dumb ass.” She shot back. “If you’re being an extra pain in the--”  
  
“I’m not trying to rub it in your face, Mickey.” I cut her off, leaning closer to the window in hopes she’d open up, just a little. Just enough to let me in. “I’m just trying to help, that’s all.”  
  
I was met with silence, as if she was trying hard to find my ulterior motive. In her eyes, the only guys who were nice to her were ones who wanted to sleep with her. So now that we’d been there done that, the fact that I still wanted to help her out after everything must’ve mystified her. “You aren’t going to take me back to my house and tell on me, are you?”  
  
I shook my head. “Your secret’s safe with me.” I let my lips curl up in a small smile. “I promise.”  
  
She continued to sit in her car, debating whether or not she should trust me while I stood outside her car, the cold rain water beginning to freeze my bones. I curled my hands up into a tight ball, my muscles contracting in an attempt to keep some warmth.  
  
I waited as long as I could, but when my hands began to shake from the cold, I tapped on her window again, “Not that I’m trying to rush you or anything, but it’s fucking freezing outside so if you don’t mind making your mind up soon, that’d be great.”  
  
She scrunched up her nose, her eyes narrowed at me for a second or two before she snatched her bag from her passenger seat and shot out of her car. I barely dodged her car door, backing up just enough to allow her room to get out. She shut the door roughly and, keeping her back towards me, swiftly made her way towards the passenger side of my car. “Well?” She snapped when I’d failed to move fast enough behind her, momentarily frozen from pure shock that she was actually agreeing to do anything with me.  
  
“Oh. Right.” I stumbled for my keys and pressed the button to unlock the car. As soon as it was open, Mickey tossed her bag inside and got into the passenger seat with a huff.  
  
I got back into my car to find Mickey with that same annoyed scowl on her face, arms crossed and staring straight ahead. I peered at her, uncertain of what exactly we should do next. “So...why’d you sneak out?”  
  
“Like hell I’m telling you.” She snapped back on automatic.  
  
“Just thought I’d ask.” I sighed, oddly getting used to her stand offish replies. “It’s just, uh...” I bit my lip, hesitant to bring it up, “...I noticed you were crying when I pulled up and--”  
  
“Drop it, _okay?!”_  
  
I threw up a hand in innocence. “Hey, you don’t need to tell me why. I was just going to say that if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you, Mickey.”  
  
She just stared at me, no name calling or angry response this time. Just silence. Maybe this was an improvement, after all.  
  
“You don’t even have to talk.” I quickly continued. “If you just wanna hang out in absolute silence, we can totally do that. If you need to cry on my shoulder, we can do that too. You don’t have to do anything but stop trying to push me away, because it’s not going to happen, got it? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m stubborn as fuck.”  
  
She huffed, and, just as I was about to look away and start the car, the corner of her mouth curled up in a blink-and-you’ll-miss it kind of smile.  
  
 _I_ saw it though.  
  
It wasn’t much, but it was a start.  
  
I let my shoulders relax a bit as I eased back into the driver’s seat, starting my own car with a roar of the engine. “Now. We can go back to your house and let Rian give you a boring ass lecture or we can go for option number two and have some _real_ fun. What do you say?"


	9. Chapter Nine: Accept My Terms

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
Obviously, Alex and I differed on our definition of ‘fun’. That much was to be expected; normally, I would’ve taken the reigns in this adventure of ours, as Alex so excitedly put it, but I didn’t have high hopes. I knew whatever he had in mind would only end up with him berating my earlier behavior, and I didn’t need that. I didn’t need more useless scolding. It wasn’t going to make me behave any different; all it was to me was a waste of energy and time. What I didn’t realize, however, was how weird Alex’s sense of fun was. To me, fun was doing something that was just outside the line of legal, but also not something that could get me locked up forever.  
  
Well, except for drugs.  
  
As we silently sat in his car, I expected any second we’d end up at a club, especially since I had to learn the hard way that Alex also hung around in those places. But there were no flashing bright lights to be seen, nor was there a loud bass shaking the ground. People weren’t lining up outside some sketchy looking building, and I wouldn’t have to use my great flirting skills to skip any queue.  
  
Instead, Alex pulled up on a fairly empty parking lot. There were large stores surrounding the worn asphalt, all closed except for the smallest one in the far corner of the lot. The rain permanently devouring the windshield, halting me from reading the neon sign above the door. I squinted my eyes, silently cursing to myself as all I could make out were deformed neon blue words looking as if they’d melted into colorful pools of water. Even as Alex drove closer and closer, I couldn’t make it out. Considering how hard it was raining, I honestly had no idea how he was managing to drive in the first place. If it was me, I definitely couldn’t drive safely in a storm like this, but then again I hadn’t really cared either when I’d made up my mind to run away.  
  
“Ok, we’re here,” Alex announced as he turned off the engine as soon as the window wipers had gone back in their starting position. “I’m expecting both of us to get a sugar rush, otherwise we did this for nothing.”  
  
“A sugar rush?” I cocked an eyebrow and gave him a judgmental look. I wasn’t seven years old anymore. I could no longer be easily persuaded to do things just through candy, soda, cake, and ice cream. If anything, it actually put me off.  
  
“Yeah,” he replied as if it was the most normal thing one could do on a rainy, cold evening like this. “Now, we’re going to have to make a run for it--”  
  
Before he could even start off a countdown or whatever he was planning on doing, I had already opened the door on my side and started casually strolling towards the shop, my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and the hood covering my hair. Sure, I still got soaked since I wasn’t wearing anything waterproof, but I didn’t see why running would help if I was going to get drenched either way.  
  
Alex, however, still rushed out of his car. As he passed me he yelled out my name, beckoning me to follow him as he tried to keep his hood over his head in vain. In seconds, he made it underneath a small ledge, pushing himself up against the wall of the building, while I continued to ignore his ushering me over. My pace stayed calm and collected, while Alex was jumping from one foot to the other.  
  
When I did finally reach him, I managed to read the signs in the windows and frowned, wondering if Alex had lost his mind. Nobody would go to a place like this, sane anyway, as evident of the whopping two couples currently inside the shop.  
  
“An ice cream parlor? _Really?”_ I snorted and pushed past him to open the door and let myself into the heated room, not bothering to hold the door open for Alex. He stumbled as he grabbed for the door, almost hitting his head on the edge as he did. “This is far from what I consider _fun.”_  
  
“Well, then what do you consider ‘real’ fun?” He rolled his eyes at me, using air quotes as he dared match my unimpressed stare.  
  
“Anything that includes alcohol and sex. But I should probably _‘call my boy toy’_ for that, huh?” I edged him on, quoting his words from when he had been trying to convince me to get in the car with him. “Do you think any of this ice cream has alcohol in it? I don’t think sugar is going to cut it today.”  
  
He shook his head. “I think I might have to disappoint you, then.”  
  
I groaned in protest and stomped towards a table. If there was nothing to make me feel better, then why would I even bother looking at the flavors? Honestly, the only flavor I cared about were the ones on condoms and I hated that shit. If this ice cream tasted anything like that, I wasn’t going to go anywhere near it.  
  
Alex, however, stayed at the front of the store, oblivious of my discomfort or otherwise ignoring it as he continued looking at all the small signs in front of the large colorful display. He had a hand on his hip and another rubbing his chin as he processed all the information. The employee waited patiently until Alex pointed at a couple of tubs, and the lady behind the counter proceeded to scoop up the flavors of his choosing.  
  
In the meantime, I decided to fish the destroyed phone out of my pocket and placed it on the table. So much for not having thrown it against the wall when Rian came to babysit me for the first time. This thing looked worse than scrap metal and there was no way I could fix it. It wasn’t just some water damage that had ruined it like I’d told Alex, either. The screen part had snapped off, exposing two cables, and keys had popped out of the number pad.  
  
When Alex made his way over to me, he was holding a cone with four generous scoops of ice cream and a paper bowl with a small spoon in it. Sitting down across from me, he slid over the bowl to me and started happily licking at the frozen treat.  
  
“I wasn’t sure whether you wanted a cone or not, so I just got you a bowl with a cookie stuck in it.” Alex pointed at whatever three flavors he had given me, the cookie that looked like a flattened cone sticking in next to the spoon.  
  
Quietly thanking him even though I wasn’t sure if I wanted to touch it, I looked at him as he continued to eat his treat. He kept licking in a slow manner, occasionally using his lips to get more in his mouth.  
  
“Now, if you had used that trick when we slept together, we could have been doing something very different right about now,” I muttered, picking up the spoon out of my ice cream and putting it in my mouth. It tasted a lot like lemon.  
  
Alex choked on the sweet treat he had in his mouth and stared at me with shocked eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”  
  
“I’m just saying you really need to up your oral sex game.” I shrugged with nonchalance as if I’d said something much more innocent, taking another bite of a slightly more orange ice cream. Passion fruit, maybe?  
  
“I’ll have you know many girls actually enjoy it and compliment me.”  
  
Yeah, _right._ “Oh, come on! They’re only doing that to make you feel better about yourself and to reassure themselves that they had a good time. Because, let me tell you, somebody didn’t get the same amazing experience all the others did!”  
  
Like most men, Alex’s ears only caught onto my last couple words. “So you’re saying it’s an amazing experience?” He smirked with an eyebrow wiggle.  
  
I had to resist the urge to shove his hand so his precious ice cream would smush right into his stupid smug face. “I’m saying people are lying to you.”  
  
“Well, aren’t you nice,” he sighed and slouched in his chair, looking defeated without me having to fight him.  
  
“I’m just being honest.” I raised my hands in defense, noting how heavy my hoodie was now that is was soaked through and through. What was once a dark gray fabric had turned a deep black, sticking to my arms as if a layer of wet glue had been put in between it and my skin. Before shivers would start to run down my spine due to the cold, I pulled the hoodie off, leaving me in just a burgundy tank top.  
  
“Too honest.” Alex frowned.  
  
I shrugged in return and continued taking small bites of the ice cream he had bought me. It was honestly quite good, but I didn’t want to give in. There was a reason why I had been ignoring him in the first place, and if I gave in now he was going to expect me to be friendly towards him all the time. I didn’t need somebody following me around like a lost puppy. Trust me, I had had to deal with annoying people following me around before, and I was not ready to take the measures I usually took.  
  
When the rainwater in my hair started dropping down onto my back, trickling down slowly, I raked my fingers through the locks, knowing that I might have to deal with some red residue left on my hands afterward. Twisting and scrunching up the hair to my head, I pulled a hair tie off my wrist and left it in a horribly messy bun that even I wouldn’t usually wear around people. However, when I looked back at Alex, I saw him staring at me, taking in my entire appearance as if he hadn’t seen me naked just weeks before.  
  
I stared back at him, one of my eyebrows raised, and waiting for him to notice I had caught him. But he seemed too interested in my figure. Not really appreciating him looking at me like that, I reached across the table and slapped him right out of it. It was just soft enough to not leave a mark, but painful enough to get him to jump a little in shock.  
  
“Sorry,” he mumbled quietly as he rubbed his cheek, a blush spreading across his face while he quickly focused his gaze on his ice cream instead. I couldn’t help a small smile form on my lips due to his subtle embarrassment, but for once it wasn’t because I was trying to make it as uncomfortable for him as possible.  
  
Not much longer, Alex noticed my unfixable phone on the table and pointed at it. “I thought you said you slipped and dropped it in a puddle.”  
  
“I did,” I nodded, picking up the phone and dangling it between my thumb and pointer finger, “but then I kicked it on the road because it wouldn’t stop ringing. A truck came, nearly drove over it but just missed it, so I stomped on it instead.”  
  
“Why the hell would you do that?!”  
  
“Ever had somebody keep calling you even though you told them to leave you alone?” I asked before I could stop myself. I kept starting conversations with him, and I didn’t know why; I really had to stop.  
  
Alex nodded, but I didn’t expect him to come with a story as well. “Yeah, my ex-girlfriend--who’s actually ready to stab you--wouldn’t stop calling me after we broke up. Apparently, I couldn’t just dump her after dating for nearly two years. I actually had to change my number. What about you? Do you have a crazy guy trying to call you?”  
  
“You could say that,” I replied, going against my mind telling me to stop talking to him and get on with my own business, “I call him ‘the sperm donor’.”  
  
Alex nearly choked on his ice cream, looking at me as if I was going to tell him I was joking. “A sperm donor? You’re trying to get pregnant?”  
  
“No, you dip shit,” I deadpanned, looking at him like he was the stupidest person I had ever met. “I mean my biological father, alright? The asshole that was married to my mom until I was three.”  
  
“...but Rian told me you live with your mom and dad…”  
  
I glared at him, the anger in my veins beginning to boil once more. Why did Alex have to push me so far? Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone? “Well, I guess he didn’t tell you everything.” I snapped before returning my gaze to my ice cream, pushing the dessert back with a huff as I was no longer in the mood to play with his little game. I leaned back into my chair and folded my arms angrily, debating whether or not just to up and leave, but frowned as I noted the rainfall outside hadn’t eased up in the least. With no phone and no car, I was stuck with Alex whether I liked it or not.  
  
“... your… _father?_ ” Alex slowly repeated, tongue forming the words as if they were foreign.  
  
I gave a curt nod, “Yep. Now before I lose my shit, can we move onto the fact that Rian is spying on me for you?” I narrowed my eyes at the tall skinny boy in front of me. “Not that I didn’t know from the beginning, but come on… _Rian?”_ I rolled my eyes. “He sucks ass at being a spy.”  
  
“He wasn’t exactly my first choice.” He easily retorted instead of trying to deny the fact that he had indeed been spying on me. “It’s not like I had a lot of options. I mean, you kept pushing me away--”  
  
“You were being a clingy little bitch.” I told him bluntly. “And you still are. Don’t expect this little...whatever you want to call it, to change anything. I still want you out of my life, Gaskarth.”  
  
“And I already told you, that’s not gonna happen.” He smirked, licking that goddamn ice cream again with oddly hopeful eyes.  
  
I raised a brow. “Because you’re stubborn as fuck, right?”  
  
“You bet your ass.”  
  
“Too bad you’re not the only stubborn one here,” I challenged, showing him that there was no way I was going to let some measly teenage boy try to flip my life around ‘for the better’.  
  
“Look, I’m sorry that your dad is such an ass,” Alex sighed, switching back to the subject I so badly wanted to leave behind along with our short-lived harmony, “but you shouldn’t let him affect your life so much. I don’t know what he’s like or what he’s done, but you shouldn’t use him as an excuse to act in a way you know isn’t right. Everybody has demons in their life, but we can’t beat them without friends.”  
  
I stared at him for a little longer than I should have. Something about what he said made total sense in my heart, yet seemed like the most idiotic thing in my head. Maybe there was a little denial; maybe my dad had been the one to turn me into this, but maybe it had been my destiny all along. I hadn’t always been like this, and I couldn’t figure out why Alex would know such a thing. Either he was way too good at figuring out the most difficult of people (A.K.A. me), or this had to be a complete coincidence.  
  
“You don’t know _shit,_ Gaskarth,” I seethed, pushing the bowl of ice cream harshly towards him, causing it to nearly fall on his lap. “How about you fuck off like I asked you to? Walking home through the rain doesn’t actually seem all too bad.”  
  
As I started getting up, he tried to stop me. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong, but can’t do that, you don’t know the way.”  
  
 _“Watch me.”_ I gave him one last hard look, the burning rage piercing right through him, before walking towards the door while his footsteps quickly followed.


	10. Chapter Ten: Give 'Em Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally written by atlfan08 on alltimelowfanfiction.com

**Alex's POV:**  
  
The moment she walked into class the following Monday, my eyes were glued on her.  
  
On the outside, her appearance wasn’t out of the ordinary, what with her dark clothes and equally dark makeup contrasting her bright hair, and her virtually ever present scowl was plastered tightly on her lips, looking especially bitter to be in class. I watched carefully as she sat down several seats in front of me, dropping her black shoulder bag onto the ground next to her with a loud thunk as the rest of the students around her happily chatted away about their weekend fun.  
  
I knew I should’ve been mad at her. She ran off from me after we’d made such a breakthrough, and any sane person probably would’ve felt it reasonable to give up on trying such an asinine thing as becoming friends with someone so closed off and angry as Mickey, especially considering how many times she’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me.  
  
Thing was, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t give up on her, even if I wanted to.  
  
I couldn’t explain it. There was something special about her. I mean, she was mean, sure. Grumpy. A bitch. But that moment back in the ice cream shop only proved to me that my gut was right. It was an unconventional moment, and out of all my crazy attempts at getting to know her, I honestly wasn’t expecting her to follow me into the brightly colored shop in the first place.  
  
Yet, she did.  
  
She followed me in, let me pay for her cold, sweet treat, and even had an actual conversation with me that didn’t involve her telling me to fuck off--well, until the end when she stormed off and told me just that.  
  
Baby steps.  
  
Jack, who’d been chatting with Rian about possible places we could look to book a gig in the area, turned his attention towards me, following my gaze with a knowing smirk. “ _Someone’s_ got it bad...”  
  
I awkwardly cleared my throat, darting my attention away from the girl to shoot my friend a glare. “Come on, Jack. It’s not like that--”  
  
“Dude, yeah, it is.” He persisted with an eye roll.  
  
“No it’s _not._ ” I pressed, nudging Rian with my elbow before adding, “Rian, help me out.”  
  
“I’ve gotta agree with Jack on this one.”  
  
I groaned softly. “Guys, how many times have I gotta repeat myself--”  
  
I, unfortunately, wasn’t able to finish my thought. The teacher, Miss Harper, rose from her seat at the large desk just to the right of the white board and smiled broadly towards her less than enthusiastic crowd. “ _Morning, everyone. We’ve got a lot to cover today, and we only have until the end of the week for your test, so let’s begin.”  
_  
I grumbled to myself, the idea of focusing on today’s lesson less than ideal. Why think about stupid sentence structure and symbolism and shit in assigned reading, _Little Women_ , when I could hone my energy on more important things? You know, like stubborn ass redheads that won’t let me be friends with her.  
  
Ugh.  
  
“Can someone tell me what happened in the last few chapters I assigned over the weekend?” Miss Harper asked as we all took out our books and binders, dropping them on the desks with loud thuds scattering throughout the room.  
  
Naturally, no one was eager to volunteer.  
  
Her eyes scanned the room carefully, landing on Mickey as she hadn’t yet bothered to grab her needed reading material out of her bag on the floor. “How about you, Mickey?” Her smile dimmed slightly, as she knew Mickey’s track record in doing her work was less than stellar. “You have your book, don’t you?”  
  
“I don’t, actually.” The girl replied smoothly, tilting her head slightly as if to dare Miss Harper.  
  
Miss Harper’s brows shot up, having had this battle with Mickey before. “I thought we talked about this.” She sighed, motioning for the girl to follow her to the corner of the class. She then lowered her voice, hoping the exchange would be private, but of course in a small room of thirty kids who are now dead silent thanks to the possibility of someone getting in trouble, that just wasn’t going to happen. If Miss Harper wanted a captive audience now, she’s got one. “I told you last time that from now on you needed to bring your book with you to class _before_ the bell rings. I can’t have you out in the halls on your own during class.” She pressed her lips together before adding, “As it is, you’ve already disappeared on me too many times. You _need_ to be in class and participate.”  
  
“Maybe that’s the point. I don’t _want_ to be in class.” Mickey shot back, not even bothering to keep her voice low. “I don’t want to be in school. I just want to get out of this hell as quickly as possible.”  
  
“And you think skipping class is going to do that for you?” Miss Harper asked, her eyes staring back at Micky in a dumbfounded sort of way. “You’ve already been held back once. If you keep skipping other classes like I know you’re skipping mine, you’ll be held back for a second time.”  
  
Mickey rolled her eyes. “Does it look like I give a fuck?”  
  
“Language!” Miss Harper shushed her. “And I’m only trying to help you so you can graduate and move on, just like you want, but you aren’t making things easy, young lady.”  
  
A chorus of ‘ooo’s’ broke from a few of the guys in the back, loving the dramatic scene playing in front of us. I just frowned, nervous that Mickey might’ve gone too far.  
  
“I don’t need this. I don’t need to learn about goddamn Little Women or Huck Finn or whatever else fucking shit you’re trying to shove down our throats like it’s actually going to do me any good.”  
  
“ _Yeah, she’s just going to be a stripper, anyway_.” One smart ass jock quipped from the back, snickering like children in the back of the room.  
  
“ _Watch_ it.” Miss Harper warned, snapping a finger in the direction of the student, but Mickey just shrugged off the comment.  
  
“He’s not wrong.” She told her. “Tell me, reading all this grand literature...what’s it going to do for me as I whip out my tits so guys can fantasize fucking me--”  
  
“THAT’S IT!” The teacher yelled, shaking her head back and forth in fed up fury. “I’ve had it with the language, I’ve had it with you pushing my buttons with every little thing I try to get you to do. You’re going to the principal’s office. _Now_.”  
  
Mickey dared to smirk, and I had the feeling the outcome was exactly what she wanted from the get go. It was her plan all along. “It’s about time.”  
  
Miss Harper, too angry to say much of anything just kept shaking her head as she scribbled out a note on her desk. “Here.” She gave Mickey a pink slip reserved for bad behavior. “Give that to the secretary. I’ll call the principal to let him know you’re coming.”  
  
“Great.” Mickey smiled, grabbing her bag and ready to bolt out of the room when Miss Harper stopped her.  
  
“WAIT!” Miss Harper called out, causing Mickey to freeze, her hand already on the door.  
Mickey just glared at her, and I’m sure it was taking every muscle in her body not to leave.  
Miss Harper didn’t continue at first, instead peering back over towards us unsuspecting students. Then, she said a name. “Alex. Why don’t you accompany Mickey to the principal’s office so I know she gets there safe?”  
  
My eyes widened. “Me?”  
  
She nodded. “Yes, you. Didn’t you tell me the other day that you’re already finished with the book?”  
  
I couldn’t argue that. I’d read the book cover to cover in two days. It was my mom’s favorite book and she’d made me watch the movie when I told her the latest assigned reading. So, before falling into a total chick flick for two hours, I wanted to know what I’d gotten myself into. Turns out, I was kind of a sucker for a good story, even if it was a romanc-y story about sisters growing up and finding love.  
  
Back in class, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the teacher’s selected ‘volunteer’ to escort Mickey. Even from afar Mickey was acting particularly scary. Not that I couldn’t handle her wrath, but it was best avoided if possible. “Well, yeah, but--”  
  
“Great. I’ll write you a pass.”  
  
I nodded numbly, glancing back at an equally befuddled Rian and Jack before rising from my seat and taking the calmer blue colored pass. “Um. Sure.” I gulped. “Let’s go, Mickey...”  
  
She rolled her eyes, slamming her hand against the door handle and shoving the class door open without a glance back. I quickened my pace, taking long, fast strides to catch up with her. As soon as the door was shut, I grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around to face me. “Wanna explain what the fuck happened there?” I hissed, trying hard to keep my voice down as I knew the classrooms surrounding us were hard at work.  
  
She dared to look innocent. “What do you mean?”  
  
I scowled at her.  
  
She sighed, rolling her eyes as she spun back around, her pace quite a bit slower as she took a few casual steps forward. “Look, you _saw_ what happened. I didn’t want to do the stupid lesson and little miss sunshine freaked the fuck out.”  
  
“As she _should_ , Mickey.” I responded carefully. “I mean, I know homework sucks but it’s part of going to school.”  
  
“Which I don’t want either.” She paused for a moment, eying me carefully. “Why do you care? Didn’t I tell you to fuck off the other night?”  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck, the way she stormed out of the store still fresh in my mind. “Yeah, you did, but what else is new?”  
  
She rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “Yet, you’re still here.”  
  
I threw my hands up, showing off the blue pass. “Hey, this time it’s not my fault.” I jabbed my finger at the paper a few times, making it crinkle against the force. “I was assigned a very important task, and dammit if I’m not going to do it.”  
  
“I don’t think your stupid task involves you interrogating me.” She mumbled, quickening her pace once more as we approached the principals office on the other end of the hall.  
  
“Well as your friend I’d just like to kno--”  
  
“You’re _not_ my friend.”  
  
I flinched at her seething tone, but stood my ground none the less, getting the feeling that something had happened between now and the last time I saw her for her to be on bitch mode 3000. “Just...I’m here to talk if you need to, remember?”  
  
She gulped, her face softening for just a second before her gaze fell onto our destination. “Guess you can go back and tell Miss Sunshine I got here safe and sound.”  
  
“As soon as you actually get inside and the principal has you, I can.” I corrected, knowing her tricks too well.  
  
“Dammit.” She cursed, probably hating the fact I was actually not going to let her get away from this. She’d actually have to go through and see the principal and not run off like she’d hoped. Lucky for her though, whatever dreaded waiting that usually accompanied getting in trouble was not going to happen for her. We walked into the office all of two seconds before Principal Adkins motioned for her to come into his office, leaving me awkwardly in front of the secretary.  
  
She smiled at me warmly. “Thank you for helping Mickey get here, Alex. You can return to class now.”  
  
I nodded hesitantly, glancing back at the now shut door that Mickey had walked into. I naturally wanted to stay and listen in like the nosey SOB she’d so often accused me of being, but there was no way that was going to happen without me causing a fuss and getting my ass into trouble as well. And if I got in trouble, I knew the first thing my parents would take away was time with the band, and I just couldn’t afford that. We’d just now were getting some traction in the community and if we didn’t keep the momentum going, we’d be dead in the water before we even started, and I couldn’t do that to the guys.  
  
So instead, I quietly shuffled out of the office and back into the hall, taking my time returning to the English class Mickey had been so hell bent on getting out of for some reason.  
The rest of the lesson was uneventful, dragging on with the symbolism for this and the metaphors for that when finally, I was free.  
  
The bell rang and I sprung out of the classroom like a cheetah, knowing my free period meant I could maybe track down Mickey and see what the damage was, if I could find that crack on her tough exterior. I’d found it once. The time in the parlor proved that. Now whatever was going on in her head to cause her to lash out today, I knew it was probably going to be a bitch to get to. But I was willing to try. I knew if she’d open up just a little more, all that snapping which’d gotten her in trouble in the first place would (probably) happen less and who knows, maybe Mickey wasn’t such an Ice Queen. It was just a matter of breaking down the rest of that damn wall to find out.  
  
I b-lined it outside, figuring whatever her punishment, Mickey sure as hell wouldn’t be resuming classes for the day. Sure enough, I spotted Mickey’s bright hair glowing in the sunlight as she leaned against the school’s sign in front of the parking lot. I opened my mouth to shout her name, the curiosity of how things went driving me crazy, but I held back as I watched an old, beat up Toyota pull up in front of her, slamming on the brakes firmly as the car halted with a sharp lunge. My heart beat quickened, worried that it was that ass hat Devon picking her up, but instead an older, plump man with salt and pepper hair stalked out of the car, scowling and seething at Mickey. She took a step back, looking nervous as hell to see this guy. I was too far away to hear anything, but it was obvious he was shouting at her, his face red with anger as he screamed in her face. She cowered back. flinching every time he moved his hands. I paled, never having seen her so scared before. I watched carefully as he pointed towards the car, presumably to tell her to get in, but just as she walked by him, he grabbed her arm and yanked her forward, holding her firmly in his grasp before slapping her hard, the crack of skin hitting skin reverberating into the air. Then he shoved her into the passenger seat of the car, started his car, and drove off.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Drunken Words, Subconscious Thoughts

**Mickey's POV:**  
  
It wasn’t unusual to see me intoxicated somewhere in the city or any other random road I had access to. However, it was unusual to see me in that state all by myself. There were often people around me while I was hanging off the arm of my prey that night. Now, I was most likely in the presence of my ‘boyfriend’, Devon, and the friend group that surrounded him. There was a seventy-percent chance that if you caught us together at night, we’d be either high, drunk, or both. It’s just how things went.  
  
Except for that night.  
  
You see, that night, I was all by myself. Rather than using my fake ID to get into some sweaty and stuffy club so I could use my body for all the right things and rub against people, I used it to get into a fairly quiet bar. With fairly quiet, I meant you had the same old people watching a sports match on the low resolution screen above the bar, your guys staring at the ass of a girl I’d usually be like, miserable dates, friend groups, and that one guy who felt out of place because he was the designated driver and had to drive everybody home.  
  
I wasn’t there to have a good time and hook up with somebody older than me. After the day I had had, I didn’t feel like having any proper fun. My cheek still hurt to touch and felt tender, and my confidence wasn’t exactly at its peak. After picking me up from school, my biological father made sure to show me how disappointed he was before disappearing again. It wasn’t difficult getting up and leaving the house, and I knew for a fact that he would never know I had escaped. He was going to be too far gone for that himself.  
  
Despite the unhealthy amount of alcohol I had consumed, I knew better than to get in my truck and drive. With my experience of drinking, I knew my boundaries even though I--just like everybody else with a sane mind--did not want to admit it. That didn’t mean I was smart enough to do the responsible and find my way home, whether that be at my parents’ house, or fucking Michael’s house. I, of course, preferred not to have to go back to my father, but I also didn’t think of the possibility of just going home. Alcohol really did strange things to people… as I had learned at an early age.  
  
So, stumbling down the strange roads it was; no destination and no willpower to find out where I was walking myself to.  
  
Nobody even seemed to be bothered to stop the drunk girl who obviously wasn’t doing ok. All the faces either seemed disgusted or frightened. I wasn’t going to hurt anybody, I just needed a place to stay for the night. But without knowing my whereabouts, the options were limited to sleeping on the sidewalk. And to me, asphalt wasn’t the most comfortable pillow and mattress.  
  
My journey continued until I was in the suburbs and recognized my surroundings. Letting out a high-pitched drunken giggle, I staggered towards the cream-colored two-story house. When walking up the driveway, I let my fingers trail over the smooth metallic colors of the cars. They looked so much different from my rusty car that was slowly losing all its red paint. I would have given anything for a new car that didn’t break down every single time there was just a little more rain than a drizzle or every time I went a little bit too fast. But, hey, life didn’t work that way and at least I had a mode of transportation.  
  
I rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. When nobody came and all I could hear was my breathing, I grabbed a handful of gravel that I found next to the path and started throwing the small stones at a window on the second floor. My aim was absolutely horrible, the stones often hitting the wall instead and some even flying way past the house. But a couple still managed to hit the glass, as evident by a light turning on behind the curtains.  
  
I quickly toppled over to the front door and rang the doorbell again, holding myself up by pressing the palm of one of my hands flat against the wall. Without the support, I would have fallen over in no time. The last couple of drinks I had were still taking their effect. No matter what was going to happen, I knew I wasn’t going to remember a thing, and that was my intention. Getting drunk without a reason just seemed _un_ reasonable… In my drunken state, that pun sounded hilarious, and I was already laughing to myself before the door opened.  
  
“Mickey, what the hell are you doing here?” Alex whispered aggressively as he looked around behind me to see if I had brought anybody else along.  
  
“Alex!” I cheered and raised my hands as if I were on a rollercoaster, only causing me to lose my balance. Luckily, Alex caught me as I started tumbling in slow motion. If he hadn’t, my hair probably wouldn’t have been the only deep red substance surrounding my head on the floor.  
  
“How much have you had to drink?!” He used all his strength to keep me upright and not accidentally make me fall over towards the opposite side.  
  
“Like, this much!” I gasped, making large gestures with my hands, showing a length of about five feet, as if that were supposed to answer his question. To me, that quantity made complete sense, but to an outsider, it must have only looked funny and confirmed that I was too drunk to think properly.  
  
“As much as I am surprised to see you here, you can’t just show up and ring the doorbell at three in the morning, Mickey.”  
  
“Oh…” I stared at him, my eyes showing guilt. I didn’t know what else to say; I hadn’t even realized that what I’d done wasn’t as acceptable as I originally thought. He was always trying to figure out a way to be around me, but now I was here and he didn’t even care.  
  
He sighed and shook his head, still holding on to me. “You know what? Come in, I can hardly leave you outside like this.”  
  
I was guided inside the house I had only been in once before on the very first day of school. Back then, I hadn’t paid much attention to what the house looked like, and in my drunken stupor, I didn’t bother to do so this time either. I was more focused on not hitting any furniture and not making my balance any more difficult on Alex than it already was.  
  
He tried to sit me down on a chair at the dining table, but it was a whole lot more difficult than either of us expected. I couldn’t sit down myself without making all my weight fall on top of Alex, and he couldn’t exactly do the sitting for me either. So, eventually, all we could do was that he in a way just had to push me on the chair while trying to lower my weight. However, that didn’t work as planned either. I was almost on the chair when I suddenly fell beside it and made another chair scrape the floor at the same time. In the end, I was laying on the floor and laughing at the whole situation.  
  
“Mickey, you’ve got to be quiet, my parents are still sleeping.” Alex cringed and rushed over to help me up again.  
  
My giggles didn’t help at all. If I had been weak before, I was basically a sack of potatoes then. All my core muscles turned to mush as I laughed. Alex, however, easily picked me up and placed me on the chair. As he pushed on my shoulders to keep me up, he begged me to quiet down again. I did so this time, no longer knowing what I was laughing about, and managed to sit ‘normally’ without any further help. All he had to do now was figure out what to do with me.  
  
His plan of trying to make as little noise as possible so his parents wouldn’t know what was going on didn’t exactly work. We had been in the house without any lights on except a small light in the hallway that turned on whenever it turned dark. However, somehow the real light magically turned on, making me gasp in amazement. I didn’t know Alex was a magician! With tricks like this, he could easily become world famous!  
  
But then a voice accompanied the action. “What in the world is going on in here?” A woman appeared from the hallway and looked at the pair of us. “Alex?”  
  
“I swear she just showed up, I couldn’t just let her fend for herself in a state like this!” He was quick to defend himself, raising his hands up to show his innocence, just to make sure that he wouldn’t be accused of hanging out at a bar as well. But let’s be honest here, would he really have been standing in just a white t-shirt and boxers if that were the case?  
  
“You have a very nice house, Mrs…” I stuttered messily before turning to Alex and frowning. “I don’t know your what-cha-ma-call-it. You know, the thing we often call teachers by? The 'Bond' in 'James Bond'!”  
  
“Gaskarth,” he whispered underneath his breath.  
  
“Well, Mrs. _Gaskarth_ , you have a very nice house. I’ve been here once before, but I didn’t really have time to look around. To be honest, I can’t exactly look around now either because my vision is _fucked_ up.”  
  
“Alex…” Mrs. Gaskarth repeated, still not understanding what a random drunk girl was doing in her house.  
  
“She goes to my school, she just moved here. I also don’t know why she came here-- wait, how did you even get here, did you drive?” Alex explained before realization hit him and he completely ignored the fact that his mom was in the room and had asked him something.  
  
I snorted, resisting the temptation to laugh in his face, “I may be failing school, but I’m not that fucking dumb, Alex. Have a little fucking faith in me!”  
  
 _“Alex!”_ His mother scolded yet another time. She probably thought I would be a terrible influence on her son, which was probably true, but something told me she didn’t know just how bad he already was.  
  
“Mom!” He replied in a similar tone and pointed at me. “We can’t just force her to leave and fend for herself in a state like this. Would you want somebody to take care of me if I was this drunk?”  
  
“Ok, alright,” she shook her head in a disapproving manner and walked up closer to me before crouching down, “do you want us to call your parents? I know you might not want to face them right now, but it will be better in the long run.”  
  
“No,” I groaned and clutched my head, hoping it would stop the world from spinning, “they’re not in town, there’s no point in contacting them.”  
  
“Is there anybody else I can contact? Are you staying with somebody else?”  
  
“There’s always somebody you can contact, but the question is if they’re the right person to contact,” I tapped my temple and pointed at her as if I had just said the smartest thing ever, but drunk me could turn anything into something deep, which with further thinking sounded like the biggest bullshit ever, “but I’m staying with my deadbeat biological father.”  
  
I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol playing with my mind even more than it already was, but Alex looked like he had just found the key to a great mystery. He seemed shocked and worried, but that could also have been because I was struggling even more with holding myself up in the chair than before and not because of whatever words had left my mouth.  
  
Mrs. Gaskarth kept questioning me to help find a solution to the uncomfortable problem we were having. “Ok, and where is he? Why would he let you go out like--”  
  
“Don’t even bother,” I scoffed loudly before my disgust turned into loud laughter. This subject wasn’t anything to laugh about, but it was a very drunk defense mechanism. “He’s possibly at a bar, drinking until he passes out in the bathroom or on the street; maybe he’s at a strip club spending all his rent money; it wouldn’t surprise me if he somehow found a hooker and parked his car underneath a bridge; I don’t know whether he’s done any drugs lately, but that’s also a possibility. Just look out for all the sketchy places in town and you’ll probably find him in no time.”  
  
“We can’t let her go back to him,” Alex stated and gave his mother a stern glare. “Whatever you do, you _can't_ do that.”  
  
“I lived with him the first thirteen years of my life, I can survive a couple more nights,” I shrugged off, trying to stand up to prove my point. Of course, I secretly hoped they wouldn’t let me go back out like this, but maybe Alex thought I would be too stubborn to give in like that and would just let me go on my way.  
  
“Thirteen years?” Alex gasped as I fell back down on the chair. I could see Mrs. Gaskarth looking at her son weirdly. Honestly, I felt the same way. Why did it even matter to him?  
  
But drunk me didn’t have a filter. “That asshole made the judge believe that my mom was the drug addict and so he got full custody of me. My mom swooped in when I was thirteen, though, and brought him to court again. And now I’m here. I’ve been all over the country because no school wants me.”  
  
Mrs. Gaskarth decided to interrupt before I poured more of my heart out; I was going to have to thank her for that later, because Alex did not need to know about everything that had happened. “Ok, she can stay in the guest room, but I will not allow your drunk friends to come over all the time.”  
  
“I’m not his friend,” I grumbled.  
  
“Yeah, well, you came here for a reason.” Alex struggled to pick me up, but wouldn’t let his mom help him.  
  
When he finally was holding me with one arm under my legs and the other behind my back, I stared up at him, my vision going really blurry. “You know, I wasn’t always like this. I used to get straight A’s and swore to never touch alcohol. Look at me now.” I froze up and gasped, “I’m not like my father, am I?”  
  
And that’s when I blacked out completely.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Before You Start Your Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally written by altfan08 on alltimelowfanfiction.com

**Alex's POV:**  
  
Mickey was in my house.  
  
Let me repeat that:  
  
Mickey was in _my_ house and she was spending the night.  
  
Granted, she showed up on my doorstep drunk off her ass, but still. Out of all the houses she could’ve stumbled upon, her hazy mind decided to pick mine. Knowing that did make that hope of mine bubble just a little bit--you know, the hope that she and I could actually have something after all.  
  
That being said, just because I knew she was one hundred percent safe for once under my roof didn’t mean I slept like a baby the rest of the night.  
  
Spoiler alert: I didn’t.  
  
I tossed and turned like crazy, the image of Mickey’s genuine fear that she’d turned out like her father plaguing my mind. All the attitude, the back talk, the drinking--was it all because of him? It certainly made sense, the way she’d talked about him and how sucky of a dad he was. I mean seriously, who abandons their kid for hookers and booze?  
  
I ended up giving up on sleep for the night once the sun peaked through my window, the bright rays of light feeling like fire against my tired eyes. I let out a low breath and flung the comforter off, deciding that if I wasn’t going to get any more rest thanks to the siren currently sleeping in the guest room, then I might as well get some damn coffee to get me through the day.  
  
I crept down the stairs, trying hard to keep any sounds I made to the bare minimum. The wood panels on the steps, creaked softly against my weight, and I winced each time in worry that I’d prematurely wake my parents up. After all, my mom had been surprisingly generous and understanding last night with Mickey. I knew that had it been someone else--Jack, for example--she would’ve called his parents, no matter the hour, and given him a piece of her mind for acting like an idiot like any good mother would do. Granted, she wasn’t actually his mother, but she’s treated him like a son ever since that hairy SOB walked into my life, so a scolding like that would only be given out of love.  
  
As I made it down the last step, I shuffled towards the kitchen to grab a mug, ready to get that black liquid gold into my system when I froze mid step, my eyes glued on the feminine figure patiently sitting at the kitchen table.  
  
“Mind telling me what’s going on?” My mom asked softly, raising a patient brow in my direction.  
  
I gulped, my heart thumping in my chest as I was thoroughly unprepared for such an interaction with my mom, especially on zero sleep. I’d hoped that after that much needed boost of java, I’d have a brainstorm on just how to talk to my mom about the rebellious girl in my life that up until now, she knew nothing about.  
  
Well. Scratch that. She might’ve heard Rian’s mom talk about Mickey once or twice. They do like to gossip, after all. But that’s about it.  
  
Like a coward, I chose to play dumb. “About what, exactly?”  
  
“ _Alex_.” My mother frowned as she snapped her fingers for me to sit next to her instead of standing awkwardly a few feet away from her. I nervously plopped my sorry ass into the open chair to her right. “There’s a random girl who I’ve never met in our house after she showed up _pissed_ out of her mind, so you better start telling me who she is.”  
  
I shivered, knowing that if I didn’t start telling her the truth, things were bound to get ugly for me. So, I decided to start with the basics. “Her name is Mickey.”  
  
She nodded, egging me on to continue.  
  
“...and she goes to my school. She’s nineteen and--”  
  
“Are you friends with her?” She cut me off, probably not really caring about such basic details like I’d given her so far. “Because the girl--Mickey, was it? She seemed pretty bull headed when she told me you two _weren’t_ friends.”  
  
I had to snort. “She’s bull headed in a _lot_ of ways.”  
  
“So no to being friends, then?” The hopeful undertone in her voice was obvious.  
  
I shrugged, hating to disappoint her. Yet, I couldn’t give up on Mickey, either. So, I replied honestly, “Not yet, anyway. I’m working on it.”  
  
She stared at me, her brown orbs perplexed. “And why in the world would you want to do that, dear?” She pursed her lips, wincing slightly at the harsh words that’d just come out of her mouth. Gingerly, she attempted to rephrase. “No offense to the girl, but she doesn’t exactly seem like the ‘friends’ type.”  
  
“So she keeps telling me.” I smirked tiredly.  
  
My mom’s brows lowered, even more confused now. “But--”  
  
“I’m not giving up on her, okay?” I told her before the judgements could continue. I knew she meant well, but when it came to Mickey, the only person that seemed to have any faith that she could be someone better than the bitch she portrayed was me. “I mean, you _saw_ her last night. She was obviously drunk because that’s all she had to get her mind off of the shit situation she’s in with her dad. And I’m pretty sure all that attitude is because of that too. She needs someone to have faith in her, whether she wants to or not.”  
  
She was silent for a moment. “I do feel for her, but why does it have to be you?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
My mom sighed, continuing, “Think about it. You’ve got a lot on your plate this year. Senior year, your band--and you’ve _just_ begun getting your own life around after--”  
  
“I know, mom.” I cut her off before she could finish that sentence, my heart quickening its pace once more. I didn’t need her to mention it. We all knew what she was going to say, and I didn’t need a reminder of how dark my life had been a year prior. “But maybe that’s just it, okay? Maybe I need to help Micky because I see a bit of myself in her. What I could’ve been if I didn’t have you guys to help me.”  
  
She nodded slowly, and I could tell she was holding back her tongue. After all, she knew what I had gone through, and she was probably horrified at the thought of me returning to such a life if I was exposed to someone like Mickey. Then again, she probably realized that the opposite could be true as well, and I could be a positive influence on the troubled teen currently residing in our guest room. So, instead of trying to convince me to stop my self assigned task of befriending the stubborn red head, she just gave me the tiniest smile and told me, like any good mother would, “Well...just...be careful.”  
  
I smiled back, relief filling my veins that she was on my side about this. “Love you too, mom.”  
  
She nodded, silently returning the affection before gesturing behind me, her smile growing into a warm, welcoming one despite her obvious worry. “Looks like our guest is has awoken from her slumber.”  
  
I spun around to find Mickey standing awkwardly next to the hallway she’d come out of, looking like she’d seen better days. Her hair was knotted and going every which way as if she’d come out of a wind tunnel, her makeup from the previous night was smeared in a way that reminded me of the Joker from Batman, and the expression on her face _screamed_ hungover.  
  
In other words, she was a mess.  
  
“Ugh.” She groaned, pressing her palm to her temple. “How much did I drink last ni--” She froze as her hazy vision zeroed in on me and my mom sitting in front of her, and a wave of recognition flew across her face. “Oh, fuck. It wasn’t a nightmare.”  
  
“And a good morning to you too, Mickey.” I had to laugh, knowing the killer headache she was currently experiencing was punishment enough.  
  
She glared at me, opening her mouth to snap some smart ass remark, I’m sure. But then, my mom spoke up, “How’d you sleep, love? I hope the bed was comfortable enough.”  
  
Mickey stared at the older woman in front of her, probably wondering why she wasn’t getting yelled at for intruding in the middle of the night, but when nothing came, she stumbled back a response. “I slept like a rock if that’s what you’re asking.”  
  
My mom nodded her head, pleased. She met my eyes for a second before rising from her seat. “Good. Now how about a good old fashioned English breakfast, eh? I know you must be starving, and I won’t take no for an answer.”  
  
Mickey opened her mouth to probably say just that, but my mother, who was stubborn in her own way, gave the younger girl a firm stare that looked innocent enough on the outside, but to anyone on the receiving end of such a stare knew that you don’t want to mess with her. Taken aback (and maybe too hungover to argue) Mickey just bobbed her head once and my mom was in the kitchen before she could utter another word.  
  
She let out a sigh, watching my mom fixing our breakfast from afar before reluctantly taking an open seat next to me. I waited for her to begin, to say something in explanation for her ending up at my house of all places, but she stayed silent. I cleared my throat, keeping my gaze on her in hopes she’d get the hint.  
  
She glanced up at me, frowning. “What?”  
  
I raised a brow. “Are you going to say _anything_ about this? Or are you just going to sit here and eat my mom’s food like it’s not a fucking big deal that you’re here right now?”  
  
“You want to know why I’m here and not at lover boy’s house, is that it?”  
  
I shrugged, that thought coming to my head once or twice. Or twenty. “Well, yeah, partly anyway.”  
  
She rolled her bloodshot eyes. “I can’t exactly explain it myself. I remember drinking a shitload and having a hell of a time, but I...” She paused, narrowing her eyes as she thought hard to recall the memories. “I don’t know. Somehow I left the bar and fully intended on having more fun with Devon but...I ended up here.”  
  
Though I had a million other questions, I didn’t want to pressure her, especially in the state she was currently in. “Well. Thanks for thinking of me, I guess.”  
  
“Don’t get your hopes up. I think it was dumb luck I ended up here.”  
  
“Well dumb luck or not, I’m glad you did.” I shot back easily. “Who knows where you could’ve ended up.”  
  
She bit her lip, her expression telling me there’d been other nights where she’d ended up in far worse situations.  
  
“We didn’t say anything to your dad, by the way.” I hesitantly continued, watching as her arm flinched at the mention of her old man.  
  
Outwardly, she tried to put on a tough, unwavering front. “Like he’d even care where I was.”  
  
I pursed my lips. “Yeah, from what I gathered last night, he seems like a pretty big asshole.”  
  
She snorted. “So I take it I talked about him last night?”  
  
“You mentioned him indulging in hookers and booze, among other things.” I paused for a beat, watching her carefully before adding, “You were also pretty freaked out that you were turning into him.”  
  
She stared at me, caught off guard that she’d been so open with me the previous night. After all, prior to this, any mention of her personal life had been strictly off limits. “Drunk me really has no filter then, does she?”  
  
“I’m glad she doesn’t.” I told her bluntly. “Might learn a thing or two from her.”  
  
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”  
  
“It got you here, didn’t it?” I smirked.  
  
She huffed. “Yeah, well you’re right. I guess it could be worse. I mean, the bed _was_ pretty nice and the breakfast on top of that--”  
  
My eyes widened, shocked to hear anything remotely positive come out of her mouth. “What’s that?”  
  
She let out an annoyed groan, that spark in her eyes flashing back in tenfold. “I’m saying thank you for not kicking me out to the curb, okay?!”  
  
I couldn’t help it, I grinned like an idiot. “Wow, I never thought I’d be so lucky to hear such sweet words--”  
  
“ _Fuck off_.”  
  
“Hey, you can’t take it back.” I teased, goofily smiling at the grumpy girl next to me. “You said thank you.”  
  
She glared at me, her hungover gaze still laced with steel. “Don’t make me regret it.”  
  
I threw my hands up in innocence, remembering that I had to take baby steps with her. And this was one hell of a step whether she wanted to admit it or not. Happy enough with my victory, I conceded. “Okay, fine. No teasing.”  
  
She nodded, pleased that I’d stopped as her lips curled up into the tiniest hint of a smile. Then, she let a second go by before adding, “Oh, and Alex?”  
  
I stared back at her.  
  
“If you could not tell anyone about this--Jack, Rian, my parents--I’d...you know...really appreciate it.”  
  
I swallowed, knowing it would be a challenge not to say anything. After all, the girl I’d been after for months was literally in my house having breakfast with me. Why wouldn’t I want to tell my friends about it?  
  
But for her? If it meant her actually learning to trust me, then I’d sew my mouth shut in a heartbeat. Which was why I nodded, and told her with as much honesty as I could muster, “Yeah, of course.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Slowly But Surely

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
Let me make something very clear. Just because Alex practically saved my life by letting me stay at his house while I was blackout drunk did not mean that I was friends with him. Sure, I had been ‘nice’ to him the morning after, but that was partially also due to my hangover. I just wasn’t up to being witty. It was way easier to let him have his way than having to come up with clever things to say.  
  
But that wasn’t how Alex perceived it.  
  
I was completely ready for life to continue. He would keep being the annoying little brat he was, trying his best to get my attention, while I would constantly turn him down and put him back in his place. It was how it always was no matter which city I was in. Only, usually, it would happen after having a one-night-stand with some guy at my school only to have him become clingy for the next week. They at least gave up, but Alex was stubborn. He had his ways as well, and they weren’t always as proper as he tried to make them seem.  
  
You see, the bell had gone and I was at my locker, gathering all my things to skip school for the rest of the day. None of the lessons I had afterward were interesting anyway, so I wasn’t going to miss anything. It was much more fun to go to the mall and play games with the mall cops. They always tried to bust me for skipping school, but they never actually managed to catch me. The one time they did, showing my real ID that stated my age was good enough for them. Being nineteen apparently proved that you no longer went to school. Jokes on them.  
  
So, I was preparing myself for another afternoon filled with shenanigans when Alex decided to sneak up beside me. Although he was behind my locker door, I could tell he was there trying to frighten me. You know, as a joke. But, no, I wasn’t that type of girl. He couldn’t play jokes on me like that. I would always be a step ahead.  
  
 _“What,”_ I shouted loudly as I suddenly slammed my locker closed, the sound echoing throughout the halls and some teacher probably already out there to find me, “do you want?!”  
  
Alex jumped and put a hand on his chest, clutching his heart as he nearly fell down. He glared at me while slowly dropping his hand, his face showing that he was not amused at all. But that didn’t stop him from cheerfully asking, “do you wanna eat lunch with us?”  
  
“Does it look like I want to eat lunch with you?” I snorted, zipping up my black backpack and slinging it onto my left shoulder.  
  
“Well, it does look like you wanted me to keep a secret for you, so…” He whistled and pointed towards the cafeteria that was at the end of the hall.  
  
Without waiting for me to give an answer or retort with a smart-ass remark, he started walking down the hallway fully expecting me to follow. Now, during any other situation, I would have laughed, turned on my heel, and gone out of the doors to have my fun. Maybe there was a high chance that he wouldn’t tell anybody since he really didn’t want to be on my bad side, but I couldn’t risk him opening his mouth and telling everybody what had happened just a few days before. So, hesitantly I started following him, deciding that I would be able to sneak out of school just before lunch had ended.  
  
Alex went straight for the table I always saw him sit at with Rian and Jack, plus occasionally some other friends. My table at the back of the room was empty and longing for me to sit at it, but I didn’t have a choice. So, while Alex slid into the seat opposite of Jack, I slouched into the seat next to him. Rian and Jack were staring at me, wondering how the hell Alex had managed to drag me there. Jack even stopped chewing the food in his mouth as he started questioning my presence.  
  
“What’s she doing here?” He asked next, the half-chewed burrito nearly falling out of his mouth. I couldn’t deal with hanging out with people that were that disgusting. Occasionally saying something with your mouth full was ok, but keep your food inside!  
  
“The reason why most people are here: for lunch,” Alex answered with an eye roll and pulled out a sandwich from his bag.  
  
I refused to acknowledge anybody, longing for my escape. This was the last place I wanted to be other than being a passenger in my biological father’s car when he was drunk. These guys were the lamest things around, even the nerds probably had more interesting things to say and didn’t bother hitting on me. If anything, their nervous pickup lines worked better since I knew I could have my way with them. But, here I was.  
  
I was staring off in the distance when Alex suddenly jabbed my side with his elbow. Letting out an annoyed breath, I looked at him as if he were my parents giving me some boring old lecture I hadn’t heard before. He needed to know I wasn’t here because I volunteered to do so. This was all he was getting.  
  
“Well, aren’t you going to get out your lunch?” He asked me with a cocked eyebrow, eyeing the empty space on the table in front of me.  
  
“Right…” I clicked my tongue and huffed out as I put my school bag on my lap and opened it.  
  
I had to pull some other things out, however, before I could take out my lunch, which was at the very bottom. The most random and illegal things might have been in that backpack, but that didn’t phase me as I started placing everything on the red table. First came out a water bottle that most definitely wasn’t filled with water but seemed like it was, next was my iPod with my earphones wrapped around it, then came a baggie of weed and some cigarettes, soon after my black folding knife was added to the collection. Then, finally, came the tinfoil wrapped in a shitload of duct tape.  
  
“Should I report this to the authorities?” Rian chuckled uncomfortably, looking around the room to see if anybody saw what was going on. That boy was so afraid of getting in trouble.  
  
I just ignored him completely and was more focused on Jack who was trying to sneakily touch my knife. The thing might have looked cool and dangerous, and quite frankly it was, but nobody was allowed to touch it other than me. Before I knew it, I was going to have a murder case on my hands because Jack couldn’t handle the knife and accidentally stab somebody with it. I had my fair share of run-ins with the cops, but I wasn’t looking forward to one like that.  
  
“Don’t. Touch. That.” I seethed, swiping the knife out of his sight and putting it closer to me. I put all my belonging back in my bag except for the sharp object and my lunch.  
  
To get to my lunch that wasn’t easy to open at all, I had to use that knife. The duct tape made sure it wouldn’t open randomly and ruin my entire bag, but it also meant that getting to the food was practically impossible. So, I opened the knife and stabbed the package, cutting it open aggressively and barely missing my fingers a couple of times.  
  
“I’m scared,” Jack whimpered, happy he didn’t touch it before--not because of how pointed the thing was, but because of what I could do with it.  
  
“Why?” I laughed, putting the sharp end of the knife between my lips and licking the pizza grease off of it. When it was cleaned, I threw it back in my bag along with everything else. “Have you never played Five Finger Fillet?”  
  
“No…” Alex frowned, shaking his head at me as if I had gone mental.  
  
“Wow. You guys claim to party, yet you’ve never done that. You should step up your game.” I instructed and pulled open the rest of the makeshift tinfoil and duct tape to reveal the two cold two-day-old slices of pepperoni pizza I brought along.  
  
“Did we have pizza, like, two nights ago?” Rian pointed out, having been instructed to babysit me the night before I had been forced to stay with Michael.  
  
I nodded and took a satisfying bite of the food--to me, pizza always tasted better a day or two after. “This is the same pizza. I’ve been eating it for lunch, dinner, and breakfast for two days in a row now.”  
  
He made a disgusted face, scrunching up his nose and furrowing his eyebrows. “It’s like that’s the only thing you eat!”  
  
“I know, it is. But I can’t cook for shit and my parents are rarely home. Luckily, I’m an expert at calling places that will deliver food for me.”  
  
Rian was about to say something back when a shadow loomed over me. I looked to my left and squinted to see a brunette staring down at me. She looked very high maintenance with her designer bag and manicured nails. Now, that was what a ‘Monica’ was supposed to look like, but I was nothing like her. _Nothing_.  
  
Alex groaned and pulled a hand through his hair. “Oh my god, Heather, please just--”  
  
“I’m not here for you, Asshole,” she snapped back, her eyes still boring through me, “I’m here for her.”  
  
“For me?” I snorted, trying my best not to laugh at her just yet. “Are you sure about that?”  
  
She nodded as she sneered at me, shoving Rian and Jack down a seat so she could sit right across from me. I stared her down, taking another bite of my pizza. Whatever she had to say had no interest to me. And I sure as hell didn’t mind the judgemental look she gave me as I was eating the unhealthy fatty food.  
  
“I don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t just come waltzing in like you own the place,” she started, her eyes cold and heartless. “You see, there are rules here and I don’t mean those stupid stay-with-your-kind rules. I mean that you have to stay away from my man.”  
  
“Oh my god, Heather!” Alex repeated in the same annoyed high-pitched groan as before. “We fucking broke up a year ago! Deal with it!”  
  
“You guys dated?” Now it was my turn to laugh as I looked between the bothered Alex and enraged little girl. “This is gold!”  
  
“Please don’t,” Alex muttered to me, his eyes telling Heather to leave.  
  
“You’re getting lamer and lamer by the second, I’m loving this.” I sighed out in content, resting my chin on my knuckles as if I was daydreaming before turning to Heather and winking. “He’s all yours.”  
  
“I hope I don’t have to make myself clear again.” She gave me one last stern glare and stomped away back to her pretentious friends. They were all just as fake as her: pretty on the outside, but ugly on the inside. And they weren’t even that pretty. Overdoing everything didn’t make you look any better.  
  
I brought my second slice of pizza to my lips and tore off a piece with my teeth. “Well, isn’t she intimidating? I’m _so_ scared of her.”  
  
“She can actually be pretty scary,” Jack told me, shuddering at the thought of her capabilities. “She used to be the girl all the guys wanted in freshmen and sophomore year, and Alex was that lucky guy. You can see how that turned out. Now all she does is scare all the girls away.”  
  
“But does she have a cool knife like me?” I pointed at him and took a sip out of my water bottle that contained something way stronger.  
  
“Well, no, but--”  
  
“Then she doesn’t have any shit on me.” I grinned, closing the cap before I started drinking too much. “Plus, I don’t have to be scared away from Alex, I’m already trying to avoid him with all my might.”  
  
“And how’s that working out for you?” Alex nudged with a smirk.  
  
“You just can’t seem to take a hint,” I crumpled up the tinfoil and duct tape and threw it on Jack’s school lunch plate. Thinking for awhile, I decided to make a proposal, “how do you guys feel about skipping school with me right now?”  
  
“Um…” Rian started fidgeting, looking at his friends and afraid of their answers.  
  
I chuckled and patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Ry, I’m not asking you.”  
  
“Normally I’d say yes,” Jack piped up, seeming bummed out about something, “but I have an important Geography test that I can’t miss even though I’m most likely going to fail it.”  
  
“Alex?” I batted my eyelashes as he bit his lip while in deep thought. “Come on, I know you skip school quite frequently.”  
  
“Ugh, why the hell not?” He breathed out, accepting my offer.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Doing This Again

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I followed Mickey outside just before lunch break ended. The entire school was chaotic with kids screaming all over the place. It was the easiest time to sneak out except if you went in between classes and stayed clear from any of the windows. I didn’t know why Mickey had suddenly changed her mood and asked us if we wanted to join her. Despite us now supposedly being ‘friends’, she still seemed quite annoyed with me. Maybe it was a mistake to accept the offer. For all I knew, she was going to screw me over. You have to admit that she was that type of girl.  
  
But I wanted to break down that stubborn wall of hers, so I was going to risk it.  
  
Plus, I didn’t mind skipping school anyway. Yes, I knew I had to pass no matter what I wanted to do in the future. And, yes, I was trying to slowly change my ways. But even I was done with the high-school bullshit. I already knew that I wanted to be in a band for the rest of my life and that didn’t require anything but me graduating to make my parents happy.  
  
“Where are we going to go?” I asked Mickey as we stepped in the truck that I had saved her from when it had broken down just a while ago.  
  
“To the mall, obviously.” She slammed the door shut on her side and put the keys into the ignition. “Where else would we go?”  
  
I shrugged and put on my seatbelt. With how big of a mystery the red-haired girl was to me, I couldn’t make any assumptions about anything. She rarely opened up about anything yet she would always act so offended if I would say something or ask something she never told me about. On one hand, she didn’t want me to know anything, on the other she would have some bitchy remark if I was wrong about something.  
  
Girls were confusing, Mickey just happened to step it up a notch.  
  
“What are we going to do at the mall?” I stupidly asked next. I just couldn’t have the engine be the only sound resonating in the car, leaving an awkward unspoken silence between us.  
  
“What do most people do at the mall?” She rolled her eyes in return and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.  
  
She didn’t let me ask another question, cutting me off by reaching out for the knob that increased the volume of the radio. It was one of those rigs that wasn’t compatible with CDs, but was made to play cassettes or get shitty radio signal. But it seemed like Mickey had found a radio station that suited her. A familiar guitar riff started playing louder and louder as Mickey nearly put the sound on full volume.  
  
I snorted at the song choice the radio DJ happened to be playing. “Well, isn’t this ironic? It’s the perfect song for this situation.”  
  
“Ironic? That’s where you are wrong, Gaskarth.” She shook her head and started drumming her fingers on the steering wheel along with the song Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. “This is fucking fate. We were supposed to be in this car right at this moment.”  
  
“We?” I put on a cocky smirk, knowing just as well as her what she had said. There was no getting out of this.  
  
“There are two people in this car right now, right?” She blinked, not even flinching that I called her out. “If it weren’t for you dragging me to lunch, I would have left ages ago. Maybe you were right the entire time! Maybe you are supposed to be in my life!”  
  
“Hmm, maybe.” I nodded, my grin not showing signs of disappearing anytime soon. I agreed full heartedly that I had to be in her life, otherwise I wouldn’t have been trying so hard.  
  
“You know I’m messing with you, right?” She laughed, making my smile drop in an instant. “I don’t believe in any of that bullshit. If you were supposed to be in my life, you would have given me a reason to. So far, there hasn’t been a reason.”  
  
“Really? No reason?” I glared in return. Slowly but surely I was becoming immune to her comments, but at the moment they still hurt a little. “I remember somebody telling me some stuff when she was super drunk. I also remember her begging me not to tell anybody.”  
  
This time her mood was the one to do a complete one-eighty. Her laugh stopped abruptly, her knuckles turning white as she clenched the steering wheel tighter. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to remind her, but I was going to do anything for her to become my friend. Using some of her own medicine against her wasn’t going to do any harm. If she was going to blackmail everybody around her, then I could do the same.  
  
She refused to speak to me for the remainder of the drive, not even waiting for me before she stomped off towards the entrance of the large white building. I still had absolutely no idea what we were doing there, but telling from the cars there were only moms shopping and the chaos of people was only going to start once school officially ended for the day. I had been to the mall before when skipping school, but it was only because Jack and I would either go out to buy a new video game or go to guitar center. God knows what Mickey did there.  
  
I quickly followed behind her, quite embarrassed by the fact that I could barely keep up with her. It was like she was trying to always be a step ahead of me to show that we weren’t together. But she was the one that asked me along, she couldn’t get rid of me so easily. It would be the most humiliating thing if I had to call Jack to ask if he could come pick me up because Mickey ditched me and didn’t even consider the fact that she was my ride.  
  
“What I like to do here is to test my boundaries.” Mickey suddenly stopped walking and turned on her heel to face me, causing me to almost walk right into her. “I don’t have any money, so I can’t pay for shit. I can, however, annoy the hell out of shopkeepers and mall cops.”  
  
“And you haven’t been forbidden entry yet?” I asked her, looking around the place. Yes, I didn’t mind a bit of trouble, but something told me Mickey was into things way darker and more dangerous than I was.  
  
“They can’t if they can’t ever catch me.” She bit her lip and winked at me, taking a step into the forward direction, leaving me to follow again.  
  
A couple of seconds later we were standing in front of a store. Mickey was looking through the shop windows, deciding whether or not this was the right place to choose. I still didn’t know what she was going to do, but the twinkle in her eyes said she was up to no good. Her eyes gazed at all the dresses, but not with the same admiration that most girls would. There was something malicious behind this, replacing the love I was used to seeing in the girls I dated.  
She grabbed onto my hand, sending a shock through my entire arm that spread warmly throughout my body, and pulled me into the store. Of course I immediately felt out of place. Everything looked too fancy and expensive. But the fact that Mickey was holding my hand made me stay.  
  
I stepped a bit closer to her so that our sides were touching and whispered, “what are we doing here?”  
  
I half expected her to take a step away from me, but she didn’t move at all. She actually turned her head so that her lips were grazing my ear. “Causing a little harmless trouble. Just play along, alright?”  
  
I nodded, a shiver running down my spine. Her hot breath brushing against my cheek and neck was enough to make nerves and excitement course through my body. She had me under her spell and I was willing to do anything to keep feeling the way I did. Just like I always tricked girls into doing what I wanted, she was now doing it to me. As good as I could recognize her ways, I still couldn’t get myself to snap out of it.  
  
“How can I help you?” A middle-aged woman came up to us, wearing a nametag that told us she worked here. Although her question was supposed to sound like she was being friendly, her look said otherwise. She stared us both up and down already without knowing anything. I could only imagine what Mickey was going to do with this.  
  
Mickey put on a Southern accent that somehow actually sounded like she honestly spoke that way, and stared back at the employee. “I’m looking for a dress.”  
  
The woman stared at her, waiting for her to continue. But Mickey didn’t say another word. They both just looked at each other, expecting the other to make the next move. But customer was always king, so Mickey refused to open her mouth.  
  
“Any specific type of dress…?” The woman gave her the evil eye, already showing that she was fed up with helping us.  
  
Mickey only stayed in that amazing Southern role of hers and laughed loudly and obnoxiously. “Oh, right. I forgot ‘bout that. You see, we’re gonna get married in Vegas in a few days and I still need a dress.”  
  
“Married in Vegas?”  
  
I was almost as surprised as that old lady that worked here. Of course we weren’t actually going to go to Vegas, let alone get married, but still. This was the direction she had chosen. Maybe I could use this as more blackmail to get her to be my friend. There was something inside that red-haired girl that intrigued me and I was no longer sure if it was just the fact that she had left after having sex with me.  
  
“Yeah, you know, running away to Vegas, spending a little too much money, going to some cheap chapel, getting married with some Elvis impersonator singing in the background,” Mickey answered, sounding like one of those girls that just wouldn’t know when to stop talking. “It will be a-maze-ing! Usually, people get married to a stranger that they have a drunken one-night-stand with, but I always imagined my wedding that way. All the flowery bullshit, I don’t give a fuck about it. Our parents totally disapprove of our relationship, so we just want to get this done as soon as possible. It, of course, doesn’t help that this guy here got me pregnant and my dad will literally murder both of us if he found out. But I’m only excited. We’re already thinking of names, and it’s going to be great. We’re going to be a perfect little family. Since neither of us has a job, we’re probably going to have to find some place to stay until we do, but love overrules everything, right?”  
  
“I’m sorry, can I ask how old you are?” The woman let out a small annoyed groan, but tried her best to keep on a fake smile.  
  
“Old enough to be driving a car. Old enough to have to pay taxes and join the military. Not old enough to go to bars and have a drink. Old enough to go to some age-restricted shows at bars.” Mickey replied with a wink. I wasn’t sure whether I had to say anything, but staying in the background and not talking seemed to work out for me.  
  
“Ok, well… what are you looking for?”  
  
“Like I said, a dress for our wedding. It has to be beautiful. You know, only getting married once.” Mickey put on a cheesy grin and squealed out, pointing at her ring finger that definitely wasn’t occupied by a ring at that moment.  
  
The lady helping us sighed loudly and closed her eyes a little, leaning against one of the tables. “I meant dress style. You can have many different dresses.”  
  
“You know, one that I can wear. I mean, it should fit me. Like, not the wrong size. Oh, and I don’t really think white would work. It’s too cliche. I’m all about not being cliche. I want to be original. Maybe a short dress would be awesome too! Vegas isn’t exactly an elegant place unless you want to pay a shitload of money. But I have always dreamt of a hot-pink dress since I was a little girl.”  
  
 _“Hot-pink?_ Are you sure you want to do that with your red hair?”  
  
“Of course! I wouldn’t say so otherwise, right? I made that decision years ago, I’m not going to let a minor thing like my hair get in the way. I can always dye it pink as well! Oh my god, that would actually be so awesome! Babe, let’s have a hot-pink theme! It will be so amazing! Everything just completely pink. We could even get you a pink dress shirt!” She turned to me, catching me off guard. I thought I was doing pretty well being the silent non-opinionated boyfriend that just watched as his girlfriend took the reigns. This was something I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t know how to answer.  
  
And it showed through my actions. I became tongue-tied, not being able to think of a witty remark to fit with the whole act going on. I wanted so bad to impress Mickey, but nothing was coming out. Even in real life situations, I was able to deal better with the pressure. But my mind went completely blank. Mickey gave me a glare, urging me to say something, but I just stood there stuttering a little.  
  
“Ok, how about I go look at what we’ve got and maybe I can show you some other options as well.” The cranky woman tried to not so subtly hint that Mickey’s choices were absolutely hideous. “What’s your budget.”  
  
Mickey was still looking at me and motioned for me to say something, to direct where this was going to go next. I had to say something, even though it probably wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as either I or Mickey wanted it to be. “I don’t… I don’t have the…”  
  
She glared at me, but luckily it was a part of her act, or I would have been afraid to stay anywhere near her. “Babe… you said that you were going to…”  
  
“Look, I just had the money for a new game console, you can’t just expect me to…”  
  
“Are you fucking with me right now? This wedding is going to be ruined!” She screamed and started blubbering, covering her face with her hands.  
  
“I don’t want to make this worse,” the employee found her way out, “but I must warn you that most articles are quite expensive here.”  
  
“I just wanted one thing, and you ruin it all!” Mickey yelled at me and slapped my chest. “You never do things right, you selfish prick!”  
  
“It’s just your hormones talking.” I put on a half smile and raised my hands up in defense, acting like I was giving a half-arsed attempt at calming her down.  
  
“Don’t you fucking dare!” Her voice raised a couple of pitches and increased in volume. “You’re the one that put your fucking dick inside of me and didn’t pull out on time. This is all on you!”  
  
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” The poor worker interrupted before we could go further and have it turn into a screaming match from both ends. But Mickey’s stone hard gaze said that the request wasn’t going to be obeyed soon.  
  
A little while later, we were walking down one of the halls in the mall. There was a complete silence between us, the rest of the mall full of little kids screaming and moms talking. Mickey looked pretty disappointed, making it seem like she was refusing to look at me. Well, maybe she was. I hadn’t exactly done such a good job at creating some chaos. I wasn’t like her friends, I couldn’t just do something like this.  
  
“I’m sorry I fucked up so bad,” I mumbled, hoping she actually couldn’t hear a thing I said. I just needed to apologize to make myself feel a bit better. There was no point in saying sorry to a girl who didn’t care about a thing nor ever said the word herself. If anything, it must have made me seem weak in her eyes.  
  
“I’ll admit that you could have done better and I’ll admit this was the most mellow outcome ever, but you tried. That’s what counts right?” She gave me a quick glance to the side and a small smile. If I hadn’t been looking in her general direction, I would have completely missed it.  
  
I was about to reply, wanting this friendly tone to continue between us, but I was interrupted before I could even think of the right thing to say back. We turned the corner and Mickey walked straight into someone. She jumped back, her eyes wide when she looked at the person, but her eyes started giving off a red glow and her lips formed into a smirk.  
  
“Well, look who we have here.” Devon had a same similar mischievous grin on his face, his hand going straight to Mickey’s waist. It was like any of the softness she had shown had washed away and her hard shell was back.  
  
She immediately got up on her toes and pressed her lips against his in a heated kiss. I quickly diverted my eyes, standing there awkwardly. A part of me wanted to break them up, but I couldn't risk Devon getting mad at me in the middle of a public place with children present. But, honestly, it also couldn’t be acceptable to be sucking each other’s faces off in this situation. I had my fair share of PDA, but this was going just a little too far.  
  
Devon broke away from Mickey, his lips still very much grazing against her’s and whispered something only she was supposed to hear, but I also could fully understand. “If we slip away to the bathroom right now--”  
  
“Hey, _you!”_ A strong voice said from a couple of feet away, echoing down the long walls.  
  
“Oh, shit.” Devon spit, looking at the mall cop running our way. He quickly pressed his lips against Mickey’s again before sprinting away. “Gotta go.”  
  
I looked at the scene unfolding in front of me like an action movie was being played. Mickey seemed completely chill, her smirk still plastered on her face. There was no chance for me to break down her walls anymore with the mood she was in now. Of course, things weren’t going to be as easy as they seemed.  
  
“Do you guys know that guy?” The mall cop asked us, trying to catch his breath as we saw other men in uniform running towards the exit.  
  
“No.” Mickey shook her head, easily covering up for her fuck-buddy. “Just some random guy that kissed me. I’m all up for kissing random guys, I have no shame whatsoever. Point out anybody and I will happily make out with them.”  
  
He shook his head and looked at me briefly--I wasn’t sure if it was because he was expecting me to give any information that I didn’t have or because he wanted to see if Mickey was serious by signaling her to kiss me--and sighed. “Great, you’re _another_ one. Stay here and I’ll come back to talk to you.”  
  
The mall cop hurried in the direction that Devon and the other men had run towards, leaving me and Mickey all by ourselves. _Stupid mistake._ She grabbed my hand again and started tugging on it as she walked into the opposite direction of where Devon had gone to.  
  
“Come on,” she whisper-shouted, giving me a few more harsh pulls.  
  
“What?” I dumbly asked.  
  
“Do you really think I’m going to wait for him? He’s only going to detain us! _Run.”_  
  
Without another question asked, I fell into the pace she started. Our footsteps echoed throughout the building, causing some parents to turn around and look at us. All they saw was two teenagers being disruptive, nothing else. I easily followed Mickey as she turned corners and directed us to another exit. If it weren’t for her dragging me along, I would have been frozen in place. But now I couldn’t help grinning.  
  
We rushed out to her car and she shouted at me to hurry up. Out here, there were still people looking for Devon. If they saw two teenagers rushing to get away, they were going to be even more suspicious. Mickey turned on the engine as soon as she jumped into her truck. I barely had time to close the door before she reversed out of the parking spot and sped up to get on the road.  
  
“Oh my god,” I gasped as we passed the farewell sign. I hadn’t even had time to think about how out of breath I was.  
  
“Do you feel the rush?” She laughed, seeming way calmer than I was, but still having an adrenaline boost herself.  
  
“Dude…” I chuckled deeply, pushing my head into the headrest.  
  
“And this is why I like it so much.” She rolled down the windows, letting in the warm summer air.  
  
We pulled up at a traffic light, coming to a halt. There was a low engine rumbling coming from behind us, slowly coming closer despite there being a row of cars stuck behind us as well. But then a motorist slowly crept up beside us. He put up his visor, the eyes of Devon looking into the car.  
  
“Hey, hot stuff.” He winked at Mickey. I could just picture him biting his lip underneath that helmet, making me scrunch up my nose in disgust. He leaned forward a bit more until his gaze rested on me. “Hey, guy-who-she-poured-beer-on!”  
  
The light turned green and he zoomed off again, dangerously swinging between cars on the road in front of us.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Go Hard or Go Home

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
My fingers grazed the cold bottom ledge of my window. I looked behind myself once more, my eyes skimming over the door that was locked and the pillows underneath my duvet making it look like there was a body softly sleeping. Checking my surroundings one last time by listening without making a sound, I deemed it safe to escape. Carefully, I pushed up the window, trying to make minimal noise. One wrong move and it was game over.  
  
Once the outside air hit my body and the window was open wide enough for me to fit through, I picked up my black backpack and threw it out. It hit the grass in the front yard with a soft thump. I looked around the outside area once again and once I saw that nobody was around, I decided to climb out myself. First, I raised my right foot up and onto the roof, then came my left foot, and I slithered out of the window so that I was facing the house. Once I knew my footing was steady, I tried my best to quietly close the window, making sure to keep it open an inch so I could open it again later.  
  
“Hey, Mickey!” A male voice shouted from the road, causing me to jump a little and nearly slip.  
  
I snapped my head towards the sound and saw the one and only Jack and Alex just coming out of Rian’s house. It wasn’t all too late in the evening, but I still decided to sneak out rather than use the front door. This was all just a safety precaution.  
  
I let go of the window sill and used my arms to keep my balance. Slowly but surely, I shuffled to the end of the small roof that covered an extended part of the living room. Once I was at the part where there was still outside wall, but no roof, I grabbed onto the pipe leading from the gutter to the floor and climbed down while making sure my grip was strong. It wasn’t that I was afraid of falling, I just didn’t want to risk making a loud noise and waking my mom up.  
  
When I was down on the ground, I picked up my backpack and slung it onto my shoulder. I decided to ignore Jack and Alex, not being able to risk being in plain sight for longer than needed. Something told me that if Rian’s parents saw me, they weren’t going to hesitate to tell mine. I wasn’t sure how my parents were going to punish me, but I didn’t want to know. They were going to have to take drastic measures since grounding me obviously didn’t work and taking my phone away from me wasn’t an option anymore. But just because that was my plan, didn’t mean that Jack and Alex had the same one in mind.  
  
“Hey, Mickey!” Jack repeated as they walked in my direction, only this time in a whisper-shout. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Going out,” I blatantly told them as I unlocked my piece-of-shit car. This conversation was going to have to be cut short if I wanted to get out of this alive.  
  
“Where?” Alex asked next, a smirk already playing at his lips as he looked at me.  
  
“A bonfire,” I answered and got in my car, cringing as I had to slam my door shut because it wouldn’t close properly otherwise.  
  
After turning on the engine, I looked out my window and still saw the two boys standing there and watching me. I frowned and stared back for a little while, wondering what they were doing. When the tension had increased enough for me, I rolled down my window and shook my head at them.  
  
“Are you guys coming or what?” I gave them a quick nod to gesture them to come inside and join me.  
  
Alex immediately called shotgun and rushed to the other side of the car before Jack could even register what was going on. After a couple of tugs on the handle, the door finally creaked open for him and he hopped in. As he closed it behind him while seated, Jack realized what was going on and got in in the back. He shuffled over to the middle seat so he wouldn’t miss a thing and looked around for a seatbelt.  
  
“The seatbelts are broken except for the one on the right, but that seat is messed up.” I looked over my shoulder to tell him. “Don’t ask me what happened to it, but you get the choice.”  
  
“I don’t think I even want to know what you have done back here before.” Jack let out an involuntary shiver, which caused Alex to let out a laugh as he happily put on the seatbelt that did work in the front.  
  
“Now, let’s leave before Rian rats us out.” I put the car in reverse and backed up quickly, not really paying attention if there was anybody already out on the road. Lucky for me, cars rarely came on our road and it was still empty when I just drove out on it. It would have been the most hilarious thing ever to get in a car crash right outside my house while trying to sneak out.  
  
The radio played quietly as I drove to the destination. At first, Jack kept asking questions about what he was actually getting himself into, but I refused to reply. He should have started doubting coming with me before he stepped anywhere near my car. It wasn’t my problem now. Eventually, Alex told him to shut up, which got us a nice quiet drive. When I had asked--it was more like told-- them to come with me, I wasn’t counting on having somebody annoy the shit out of me.  
  
Slowly but surely we left my neighborhood and entered the next. It was a higher class one with larger houses, and it was quite obvious that I wasn’t supposed to be there. No way would I ever fit in a place like this. The bonfire was actually in the next neighborhood where Michael lived, but to get there I needed to drive straight through this one.  
  
You’d expect it to be completely empty after the sun had gone down, all the rich people inside their houses. But, of course, the one street I was driving through had to have the one crazy guy. He decided to suddenly cross and run at a stop light right while I was approaching. I saw the green collar shirt that was illuminated by my headlights flash right in front of me, making me slam on my breaks so I wouldn’t hit him. He looked right back at me, his eyes wide with shock.  
  
I rolled my window down and patiently waited to let out my rage. “Are you fucking trying to get killed?!”  
  
But the guy didn’t say anything back. Instead, he squinted his eyes and started to walk towards the car, his eyes on me the entire time. Once he was finally right next to me, he decided to open his mouth. “Monica? What are you doing here?”  
  
And that when I recognized his face. It had been really long, but there was no way I could act like I didn’t know him. I quickly rolled up the window again and tried to drive off as fast as possible, but my car wouldn’t start up. Every single time I suddenly braked and waited for a while, it always took ages to start again. I was muttering profanities under my breath until it finally started working again. Before I could drive off, though, the guy was banging on my window and repeating my name a couple of times more in question form. Once I could, though, I was out of there.  
  
“Wait, who was that?” Alex asked, turning around in his seat as if looking back would allow him to see the guy again.  
  
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Somebody wearing a stupidass short-sleeved green collar shirt.”  
  
“But he knew you.”  
  
“I mean, he did say my name a couple of times… It would only make sense, right?” I said sarcastically, happy I didn’t have to stay there any longer than needed.  
  
Jack decided to give his input, grinning like a fool as he did so. “It’s probably a guy she fucked once and he is now hung up on her.”  
  
“Ew, gross.” I scrunched up my nose and shook my head, still keeping my eyes on the dark road. “No way.”  
  
I wasn’t going to tell them who he was, it was way too embarrassing for that. I’ll paint the picture. This wasn’t the first time I lived in Baltimore, obviously. I used to live with Michael when he still had full custody of me. It’s easy to say we did not live in this neighborhood, we lived in the one I was going to. Not a great life, honestly. But our house happened to still be in the school district that all these preppy kids, unfortunately, went to as well. I used to fit in perfectly other than not having the same designer clothes. What it did include, however, was a cheesy preppy boyfriend at the age of twelve. Spoiler alert, green-collar-shirt guy was said boyfriend for me. I was never going to stoop so low again. Monica was out of the picture and Mickey was out for everybody to see.  
  
Once we were at the sketchy-looking park that was on the outskirts of the bad neighborhood, I parked my car amongst all the other beat down vehicles and took my keys out of the ignition. Other than the cars and motorcycles and some noise, there wasn’t much more evidence of a bonfire going on. But I knew that just past the trees and bushes, things were going down.  
  
“Just a fair warning: don’t mess with the wrong people, because I won’t be there to save your asses.” I made clear to both Jack and Alex as I stepped out of the car. All my friends were here, I wasn’t going to look out for two high school kids the entire time I was there.  
  
Alex jumped out as well and quickly hurried to catch up with me. “Who are the wrong people? I would rather not fuck myself up tonight.”  
  
“You’ll find out.” I winked and walked up to the small path at a bush that led to nowhere. Or so it seemed. You just had to push away a few branches, and you’d get through in no time.  
  
Moving the last branch out of the way, Jack freaking out whenever he nearly got hit in the face by one, I saw around twenty people gathered around a large-ish fire. There were a few lawn chairs scattered around in circles and empty bottles of beer strewn all over the patchy grass. It may have looked a bit sketchy to outsiders, but these were my friends. This was the same to me as it was to some kids seeing their friends at school again. Only we had fire and alcohol here.  
  
“Mickey!” Somebody shouted out from one of the groups of chairs. I looked around to see some guy we all called ‘Johnny’, but nobody knew his real name. Somebody once decided to call him that, and it stuck with everyone. He was your stereotypical bad boy, aka Devon’s best friend. They wore the same similar black leather jackets and supported the same black swoopy hair. Only Johnny’s was a bit more on the browner side.  
  
“Hey!” I hollered back and stepped over to him.  
  
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. Not only did his actions tell me he was wasted and far gone, but his breath smelled just as bad. I just laughed at him and wrapped my arm around his waist, bringing him even closer to me. He reached into the pocket inside his jacket and pulled out a baggie. Holding it up in front of my face, I had no choice but to look at the white substance in it.  
  
“Oh, no,” I shook my head at him but smirked nonetheless, “I’m not going down that road again. Been there, done that.”  
  
“Come on, just one!” He wiggled both his eyebrows and what he was holding in his hand.  
  
“That’s what I always said, but it always turned to more than one.” I continued to refuse. Yes, I took drugs, but I was smarter than that.  
  
“You’ve done coke before?” Alex voice piped up from behind me.  
  
I turned a little, as far as Johnny’s grip would allow me, and glared a little at Alex, Jack stood a couple of steps behind him. “Are you going to follow me around the entire time?”  
  
“We don’t exactly know anybody here, so…”  
  
“Make new friends!” I waved my loose arm around to gesture how many people were here. “Don’t tell me you don’t talk to other people at your parties either.”  
  
Johnny slapped my arm away and held out his own for Alex and Jack to shake. “Everybody here calls me Johnny, you can do so too. You guys want some?”  
  
“I’m fine.” Alex narrowed his eyes a little, inspecting Johnny from afar to see if he was included in the ‘wrong people’ group I had mentioned. Little did he know that everybody here could be the wrong person if he did the wrong thing.  
  
Johnny sighed and put the baggie with cocaine back in his pocket and instead held out a joint to me. “I owe you this. You better share it, though.”  
  
“Yeah, right. There’s a reason why you owe it to me in the first place.” I took out my lighter and lit the joint before bringing it to my lips.  
  
“Fine.” He raised his hands up in defense and pulled me down to sit in one of the lawn chairs with him. His hands went around my waist as I was sat on his lap, his fingers drawing shapes. I leaned into him, not giving a fuck that everybody around us could see. Honestly, nobody else probably gave a fuck either except for maybe Alex and Jack.  
  
Speaking of the two, they managed to quickly sit down in the two empty chairs right beside me. It was like they were two small lost puppies. At school and in the familiar they acted all confident, knowing that everybody already thought they were cool, but now they were the ones out of place. Nobody really minded their presence either. As long as nobody called the cops or said the wrong thing, it was all cool.  
  
Johnny and I shamelessly filtered with each other the entire time we were sat there. Luckily Jack was the one sitting directly next to us, because he was busy staring at a blonde girl in the distance instead of us, while Alex looked infuriated. It only made me want to flirt more with Johnny than before. Alex couldn't control what I did, even if I technically had a boyfriend and what I was doing was technically wrong.  
  
“Hey, bro, get off my girlfriend.” Devon threatened with a nod at his best friend as he came towards us out of nowhere.  
  
Johnny grinned up at him, now also high as a kite. “She’s the one sitting on me.”  
  
“Mhm, yeah.” Devon was still waiting, his stare still fully on the guy who was holding my weight in his lap.  
  
“Come on, man. Take one for the team!”  
  
“You wanna go? Huh?!” Devon took a step closer, initiating a fight.  
  
I saw Alex’s eyes go wide as Johnny took me off his lap and put me back in the chair. He took the last few steps towards Devon so that their chests were nearly touching. My reaction was probably the opposite to Alex’s. I couldn’t care less about what was occurring. What happened next only confirmed my attitude. Devon hooked his arm around Johnny’s neck and ruffled his hair, both of them letting out a low chuckle. The best friends had gotten into fist fights before, but often it didn’t go further than this.  
  
“Let’s go do some lines,” Devon suggested, giving Johnny a supportive slap on the chest to push him in the right direction. “You go set it up.”  
  
“You see,” Johnny pointed at him as he started in the direction where a small table was set up, _“this_ is why you’re my dude, bro. You’re the real man.”  
  
“He’s so out of it.” Devon snorted and leaned down to connect his lips with mine in a very deep and sexual kiss. “I’ll be coming back for you.”  
  
“I know, you always do!” I shouted after him as he went to go to where Johnny now already was.  
  
With those two no longer being there to distract me, I could only direct my attention towards Jack and Alex again. Jack was still staring at the same girl from before, only occasionally looking away when he sipped on the beer he had in his hands. I nearly started laughing. It was so funny to see him so infatuated by one single girl. Nobody here ever watched somebody else from a distance, it was unspoken of. Not because we didn’t like it, we were all just too confident and would have already been fucking in someone’s backseat by now.  
  
“Her name’s Theo and if you don’t go up to talk to her now, I will. She’s great in bed,” I told Jack, nudging his side a little. It was too pathetic to leave it be.  
  
Jack forced out a laugh. “No way, she’s out of my league.”  
  
“Everybody is always out of your league, but that mentality didn’t get me where I am now.”  
  
He sighed. “Mickey…”  
  
“This isn’t some high school party with scandalous crushes. If anything, people will judge you for not doing anything.”  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
“Ok, we’re going.” I stood up and grabbed his hand, forcing him to come along with me. He tried to fight it at first, but once we got close to her, he tried to act all cool and relaxed. Just to be sure, I started the conversation. “Yo, Theo!”  
  
She turned to me and smiled, ignoring Jack completely. “Mickey! What’s up?”  
  
“This is my friend, Jack,” I started and pointed at him, “and he’s a virgin.”  
  
Jack stiffened up. “I’m not--“  
  
“It’s ok.” I silenced him. “He’s a virgin, but he can do quite some things with those fingers and that mouth of his.”  
  
Theo smirked, showing interest in what I was saying now. “Is that so?”  
  
“I was thinking, maybe you could show him a little bit more than just that. What do you think?” I hinted, full out lying to her, I had no idea what Jack could and couldn't do, but sometimes you had to play a little to get what you wanted.  
  
“Jack, huh?” She turned to him and looked him up and down. The invisibility she first gave him was completely gone now. “How about you come with me?”  
  
He gulped visibly as she took his hand that I was holding before and led him away back to where the cars were. I grinned and clapped my hands together as if I was shaking dirt off them. Once I was sure they were gone, I went back to where Alex was sitting all by himself. He looked so out of place, I actually felt a little bad for him.  
  
“Ok, now we need to find somebody for you to hook up with.” I knocked out feet together as I fell back into the chair Jack had been occupying before.  
  
“No, thanks, I’m good.” He stared at the fire and brought his bottle of beer to his lips.  
  
I gasped. “Don’t be a buzzkill, now!”  
  
“I’m just not interested.”  
  
“Where’s the Alex I met at the beginning of the school year! The one who could get any girl he wanted in his bed!”  
  
“Like I said, I’m not interested.”  
  
“Bullshit!”  
  
“I’m pretty sure everybody here is ridden with STDs, I don’t need that.”  
  
“You had sex with me, and I’m here. What’s the difference?”  
  
“I just don’t feel like hooking up with somebody today. Is that so bad?” He glared at me, his lips pursed and no further emotion shown.  
  
“No, of course. It’s cool. Whatever.” I shrugged and leaned back in the chair. “How about we go back to my car instead? Ignore any of the other girls here?”  
  
“What? No way. What about Devon?”  
  
“He’ll be busy snorting coke for at least another twenty minutes. It won’t be the first time Johnny sneezes and blows everything way just to have to set it all up again. What do you say?”  
  
Alex once again shook his head no. “Last time I checked you said I was terrible, so what’s the point.”  
  
“It’s still sex. We’ve done it before. I’ll get you turned on in no time. You can try and do better and you might rank higher this time.”  
  
He stayed silent for a little while, looking at the ground as if it was going to give him an answer. After looking up towards where Devon and Johnny were, he breathed out. “Why the fuck not? Let’s do this.”


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Going 'round in Circles

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
To say the next day back at school was awkward was an understatement. Usually, I never felt this way, but I actually regretted sleeping with Mickey. Don’t get me wrong, although it was in the back of her car, it was great. Honestly, it was better than the first time despite the cramped space, and I hoped I performed better. I just felt horrible. I don’t know what it was exactly, it just didn’t sit right.  
  
And it was showing.  
  
Not only did I feel sick to my stomach, but Jack was now constantly teasing me. I never intended on telling anyone what happened, just because I had no idea how it happened either and was still making sense of it myself. But Jack didn’t need to ask. He was already back at the bonfire, sitting all by himself, by the time Mickey and I strolled back. Either he had been super quick or Mickey and I had been in her car for way too long. At least that boyfriend of her’s never found out or didn’t give a fuck.  
  
So, yeah, here I was feeling shitty about something I used to do on a weekly to daily basis. That fire-truck-red haired girl was consuming my life.  
  
I was walking to my next class, which was almost on the opposite end of the building, all by myself while trying to collect my thoughts. There was barely anybody around since I was already a little late. With my mind not being fully on getting to class on time, I was strolling very slowly, my feet barely moving as I tried to put one and one together. Neither understanding what was going on or avoiding a furious teacher was going to be achieved.  
  
Apparently, however, I wasn’t the only one still in the hallway--or at least the hallway and the direct surrounding. As soon as I walked past a small janitor’s closet, my arm was tugged on harshly and I was pulled into the dark room. Well, that definitely got me to break away from my internal dilemma and come back to the real world.  
  
Who would even do that? But then I saw the familiar bright red hair that somehow seemed to stand out despite there barely being any light.  
  
“Mick--” I started to ask her what she was doing, but before I could even get out her name, her lips were pressed roughly against mine.  
  
She didn’t take any time before her hands went down my waist and to my belt, giving it a good pull to unbuckle it. I stood there in shock, not knowing what to do other than going in autopilot and kissing her back. I didn’t even know if I wanted this. Mickey definitely did, but I was too taken aback to fully register what was actually happening.  
  
Once she managed to pop the button of my jeans, she broke away from me and gave me a friendly smile. “Hi.”  
  
I took this moment to take a deep breath, my heart racing as I stared at her. “Mickey, we probably shouldn’t--”  
  
But it didn’t matter. She was pressed up against me again. I couldn’t do anything to stop her--I physically couldn’t. My mind was blank and I didn’t have the mental capability of pushing her away. This wasn’t any good; as much as I loved being with her, this wouldn’t do either of us any good.  
  
Even when she worked her way down, my back pressed against a cabinet to keep me upright, I didn’t even reach out to stop her from what she was doing, as much as I was screaming at myself to do so. As soon as she was kneeling in front of me, I couldn’t help but succumb.  
  
Not long after, Mickey was running her fingers through her hair to get out the knots. She had managed to get dressed with lightning speed, more focused on looking presentable again without giving away to the public what had happened in here. I, on the other hand, was fumbling to put my jeans back on while keeping an eye on her.  
  
I hoped that maybe I would feel satisfied, happy that this had happened, yet the heavy feeling of regret only got worse. Something made me feel guilty. I had used girls the same way Mickey was using me before, and I always assumed they enjoyed it as well. If they felt this way every time afterward, I sure as hell felt bad for them. This was absolutely horrible.  
  
“Hey, Mickey?” I said without even knowing what I was going to say, now fully clothed though. She just hummed in response, not saying a word. So, I continued with what I was subconsciously thinking. “We shouldn’t do this.”  
  
“Do what?” She asked, turning around to look at me, her hair swooping over her shoulder.  
  
“What we’re doing right now.” I pointed at the both of us. “This thing going on between us.”  
  
“You mean having sex?” She bluntly put it, not beating around the bush. Having a conversation meant being straightforward. There was no time for embarrassment.  
  
“Yeah, it’s not right. I don’t want this. You said yourself that having sex with people you’re friends with will get messy. I don’t want that to happen; I’d rather be friends with you than fuck-buddies. As fun as it is, things just won’t work out in the end. I will always value friendship more than whatever this is”  
  
“Okay…” She whistled and picked up her backpack from the ground. After hanging it from her shoulder, she walked up to the door.  
  
As soon as her hand went on the handle, I grabbed her other wrist to stop her from leaving. “Look, I didn’t mean to offend you.”  
  
“Offend me?” She looked at me as if I had two heads. “If anything you’re offending yourself! As far as I know, you’re famous for sleeping around. This is just ruining your reputation.”  
  
“What?”  
  
She scoffed and rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, come on. I see the way you look at me, practically undressing me with your eyes. I finally give you what you want, and what do you do? You decide it isn’t for you because you value friendship over sex. Don’t give me signs that scream at me that you want to bed me and then change your mind; don’t act like you’re my friend and don’t threaten me with secrets just to get in my pants.”  
  
“Mickey, no, that’s not what I’ve been doing.” I shook my head, afraid that she was going to leave with this wrong view of me. Sure, I used to be that way, but not this time. “Something is very wrong if you believe me being nice is just so I can fuck you. I honestly want to be your friend, that’s why I’m breaking this thing off before we get too far into it. Not only for me, but also for you, and strangely enough for Devon.”  
  
“I should feel guilty about cheating on him, huh?” She finally let go of the door handle and slumped against the door instead. “I don’t, though, not at all. Maybe it’s because we don’t have anything emotional going on, maybe it's because I know for a fact he’s also sleeping with other people. I don’t know and I don’t really care. It was nice to have a little break from him… Maybe I should break up with him... or wait it out a little longer.” A smirk started appearing on her face.  
  
“In the end it’s all your decision, but it doesn’t have to be this way.”  
  
“Didn’t you just say you wanted to stop this?”  
  
“I don’t mean that.” I sighed. This was getting much more serious than I had intended to, but if I was already risking her walking out on my life, I might just as well say everything that was on my mind. “I mean all of this. Everything you’re doing. I get that you occasionally want to have some fun, I do as well. But this is going way too far. You don’t need to be reckless and throw your life away. Be smart, set your goal to be graduating, and who cares what you do after that. I also don’t want to be in this shithole, but I know that not finishing school will screw me over. It’s the least I can do. You said yourself that you used to do great in school. Just make that come back a little bit, it doesn’t even have to be anything too drastic, just enough to let you graduate this year.”  
  
She shook her head at me, her hand reaching for the handle once again. “You don’t get it, do you?”  
  
“Get what, Mickey?” I stressed, my own frustration starting to bubble up. “I can’t understand you if you never let me in.”  
  
She snorted and looked me up and down with a judgmental look. “I’ve let you _in_ , alright.”  
  
And from that point on I knew that whatever I was going to say wasn’t going to reach her anymore. I could try as hard as I wanted, but she was too set on her stubborn attitude. Nothing was going to work, it would only break my relationship with her further.  
  
Yet, my mouth betrayed me and continued trying to help the lost cause. “Once again, not what I meant. Just know that letting somebody help you by letting them in isn’t a bad thing. You’ll be surprised by how good it feels.”  
  
“No, I was right. You really don’t understand.”  
  
She opened the door and walked out without checking if there was anybody on the other side who could catch her. The bright light reflecting from the floor in the hallway made me squint my eyes, but it didn’t take long. As soon as Mickey had left, she also closed the door. I let out a frustrated groan and rubbed my eyes.  
  
I had to do something, but she just wouldn’t let me. That red-haired girl was way too far gone in her ways to realize how bad she actually was doing. I should have given up right there and then as I was left to look at all the cleaning supplies, but that wasn’t going to work. Alex Gaskarth did not give up that easily.  
  
A little after the school bell went to signal that lunch had started, I opened the door and walked out in a similar way Mickey had done. The few kids directly outside looked at me with wide eyes out of shock, but I ignored them. I was too focused on thinking of breaking down that hard shell. I had finally started to break it down, and now I was back at the start.  
  
As I walked through the hallway, fully intending on going to the cafeteria and endure Jack’s teasing, I heard a high pitched scream come somewhere from behind me. It sounded way too familiar to let it be.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: She Had it Coming

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
When I walked out of that janitor’s closet, I was ready to get on with my life. It was Alex’s loss. I never needed him in my life, I never even _wanted_ him in my life, but he had to go force his way in. Honestly, if he thought that pissing me off would make me want to be around him, then he did not know how I worked. Really, he did not know how anybody worked. It was like it was his mission to see how far he could push me until I snapped back. He hadn’t seen the worst yet; he only saw the soft side of me. It didn’t take much for me to go from zero to one hundred.  
  
Unfortunately, there was somebody else who was going to find that out.  
  
I thought I had had enough school for that day and was fully intending on leaving to go have some actual fun with Devon and his friends, but something else got in my way. Before reaching the school’s doors, the bell went. It was only natural for the halls to fill right after, it would only help cover me.  
  
But, no, I happened to run into a ‘friend’ I had made just a little while before. They immediately put on a smirk and flicked their long wavy brown hair off their shoulder. I would have completely ignored it if it weren’t for the fact that they were deliberately trying to block my way.  
  
“I thought I told you to stay away from Alex,” Heather, Alex’s ex-girlfriend who had ‘threatened’ me before stated.  
  
“I actually just left him in the janitor’s closet, so I do believe I just technically went away from him.” I rolled my eyes and tried to push past her. A whiny girl like her wasn’t worth my time. I could be wasting my time on fucking Devon while his friends were in the next room.  
  
Heather, however, look a step in the direction I was trying to pass. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t want to mess with me. Really, just stay away from him, you don’t want to find out what I’m capable of.”  
  
“No, _sweetie_ , you’re wrong there. _You_ don’t want to mess with _me_.” I glared back at her, having an advantage over her of a couple of inches. So, since I was trying to hold myself back, I once again tried to walk away and past her to leave this hellhole.  
  
“Listen up here, bitch,” she seethed and gripped my wrist just as I was beside her, “you will do what I tell you.”  
  
“No, I won’t.” I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh a little at her pathetic attempts at trying to scare me. I had had to deal with more than her before, I could take her easily.  
  
“Oh, right, yeah, I forgot that sluts can’t stay away from their guys.” Her tone changed completely, following a cutesy babyish sound. “Poor mommy has to deal with how much of a whore you are.”  
  
Ok, that was it. Not only was I the only one allowed to call me those words--or guys if they were into that during sex--but nobody could use my mom against me. She could mess with me all she wanted, but bring in my mother, and it was done. Like I had always said, one wrong move and you’re out.  
  
I took a step back and raised my fist to punch right in that pretty little face of hers. The impact didn’t even hurt my knuckles, but she let out a blood curling scream. Everybody around us turned to look what was going on and crowded around when they realized that a fight was about to go down or had even already started.  
  
Heather was holding the side of her face that I had hit, her makeup now smudged and her skin bright red. But she wasn’t going to give up that easily. She had to show that she was stronger than me; that even the fact that I could dislocate her jaw if I wanted didn’t faze her. Whatever I did, she would be able to one up it.  
  
Of course, she couldn’t. She immediately went for my hair, taking a chunk and pulling on it as hard as she could. All it did was make my head jerk in one direction, but it barely even hurt. Everybody knew that if you wanted to cause pain with pulling hair, you had to take small sections. Well, obviously she didn’t fit into that ‘everybody’.  
  
My instincts kicked in and I didn’t even have to think about my actions anymore. Some might have said I let my temper get the best of me, but I thought it was more along the lines of survival. It was only natural for me to grab her arm, twist it, throw her down on the floor and keep my knee on the small of her back so she couldn’t move anymore.  
  
Heather was trying to fidget away, whining at the pain I was causing in her arm. I couldn’t let her go just yet, though. She needed to know that whatever she would threaten me with, it wasn’t going to work. There was a reason why I had been expelled from schools before, she just happened to find out the worst way possible.  
  
“Mickey!” Somebody yelled from the crowd, but I didn’t look up.  
  
For all I cared, it could have been a teacher to tell me off, thinking their lectures would come through to me, only to bring me to the principal which would then lead to me being expelled. It wasn’t anything that hadn't happened before. If anything, I was pretty glad to leave this place, I needed something new in my life.  
  
But it wasn’t a teacher. My name was shouted once again, only this time accompanied by somebody pulling on the arm that wasn’t making sure that Heather could not move. They tried to pull me away from the body, which after a few good tugs got me to stand up. However, when they tried to remove me from the scene, it wasn’t as easy.  
  
“I will fuck you up as well.” I turned to said person and wasn’t surprised to see that it was Alex trying to get me to leave.  
  
“I don’t doubt that.” Alex rolled his eyes at my threat and started walking through the crowd, still having a tight grip on my arm as he dragged me along. I didn’t know that that boy was capable of such a strong hold; it was nearly enough to give me a horrible bruise.  
  
Once we had gone through the entire crowd, he brought me towards a place in the hallway where it was fairly quiet. Most people were bunched where Heather was probably only now getting off the floor. Did I care? _No_. Did I want to go back and throw another couple of punches? _Definitely_. If people weren’t careful around me, were they going to be punched instead? _Again, definitely._  
  
“Holy shit, what happened there?!” Jack gasped as he strolled over to the exact point Alex was bringing me to ‘calm down’.  
  
“I don’t know,” I mocked and glared at him, getting him to purse his lips and stare back at me with fear, “do you want to experience it yourself?”  
  
“Mickey…” Alex warned, still holding my arm so I couldn’t think of punching Jack or walking away. He knew that either could happen in a heartbeat.  
  
“Oh, maybe you do.” I retorted, moving my threat away from Jack and directing it towards Alex instead.  
  
Alex still seemed unfazed, not even showing a hint of being afraid of what I could do to him. It was almost like he thought I would never hurt him, that I was only hurling empty threats his way. “What happened?”  
  
“Take a guess. Maybe something about Heather being a bitch.”  
  
Jack decided to speak up again despite knowing I was not afraid to hurt him if he said the wrong thing. He was so close to that point. “I thought you weren’t ‘afraid’ of her.”  
  
“Well, obviously I’m not.” I raised the arm Alex was holding rapidly in the direction of where the crowd was slowly dispersing, also using it as an attempt to break free. But Alex’s hand only went along with my every movement. “She can say what she wants about me. She can even spread lies about me, but as soon as she brings in people I care about, it’s going down. She crossed a line.”  
  
“People you care about?” Alex asked, nearly dumbfounded, his grip becoming a little looser.  
  
“What?” I snapped back, offended that he thought that was such a strange and weird thing. “Don’t you have family too?”  
  
He sighed, shaking his head a little. Once he let go of my arm, I realized I was already standing with my back against the lockers behind me. I was practically being caged in by Alex and Jack, but I knew exactly how to go past them. However, it seemed like Alex’s plan wasn’t to let me go just yet. His hand lightly went up to my upper arm instead, trying to give me a comforting touch. It only made me want to stare at his limb in confusion, but something told me he was waiting for me to do that, so I resisted.  
  
“Look, I know you’ll probably hate me for saying this, but you have to calm down a little bit, ok? I get that Heather can be the most annoying bitch there is, but she is not worth you getting expelled from school.” He took a view steps closer, the thumb on his hand slowly stroking my skin. “She says all kinds of crazy shit, trust me, I’ve been hit with it countless times as well when she refused to accept me breaking up with her. Don’t let her get to your head like that. She is _not_ worth it.”  
  
His breath was hitting my face softly and constantly as he was just inches away and we were staring right at each other. It was like a stare off to battle who was right in this case, and just like always, I was not going to lose. But then I saw his eyes repeatedly flicker down to my lips. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to trick me into letting him win, but I was not going to let _that_ happen.  
  
I pushed him away and growled, “the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  
  
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, no words coming out. It was like the wise and all knowing Alex from before had disappeared completely. Well, I was going to disappear as well, but in a more literal way. For some reason, I did not skip school that day anymore.  
  
\----  
  
Later, in Math class, I couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention. It wasn’t like I ever paid attention or even showed up for that matter, though. Alex was in the same class, but since he did show up more often he had a permanent spot somewhere in the back. Since I was an even worse student than he was, I didn’t have a seat I could claim as my own and instead had to sit at the very front.  
  
That didn’t stop me from doing the old trick of pulling my earphone through the sleeve of my hoodie and bringing the earbud to my ear as if I were leaning on my hand. I just stared at the board, not caring about the equations and calculations that the teacher was writing on it. I didn’t even have a notebook or at least a pen out to suggest that I was thinking of taking notes. Of course I didn’t want to be there, and of course I regretted not skipping school while I still could. Math was probably the most boring class there was. I could swear that I could just fall asleep.  
  
“Mickey!” The teacher was suddenly stood in front of me, staring me down.  
  
I lamely looked up at her, slowly lowering the hand that was holding the earbud to my ear. “What?”  
  
“Your answer please.” She gave me a forced smile and walked back to the board, pointing towards an equation she had written down without any method or answer underneath it.  
  
“You see, that would be a problem. I don’t like answering questions, so I don’t feel like answering this one either.” I gave her the same bitchy smile back, my unemotional eyes drilling into her.  
  
I was waiting for her to get mad at me, allowing me to speak back which would get me sent out. However, she just stared right back at me, still pointing towards the equation written in blue. Teachers usually lost their shit with me without me having to try, but this one seemed to be just as stubborn as I was. I actually respected that.  
  
I quickly scanned over the board once again, feeling everybody’s eyes on me as if waiting for me to snap something back, but I surprised them all by uttering out an answer, “three.”  
  
The teacher’s smile fell as she double checked the piece of paper in front of her, almost not believing that I had actually given the right answer. She nodded, telling herself to accept it. “Lucky guess. Try this one.”  
  
She wrote another equation down, similar to the one I had already answered but slightly different. About five seconds after she had written it down for me, I was already coming back with what made sense in my mind. “Three or minus two.”  
  
She frowned, staring at me as if it would show that I was cheating or something. But the students around me were completely confused and my earbud wasn’t even close to my ear. However, she still wasn’t done. She put her paper back down and reached out for one of the side wings of the board, flipping it closed. There was something completely different on there. Her face turned from devious to intrigued, “how about this one?”  
  
All the students around me were muttering things along the lines of ‘what the fuck?’ and ‘what is this shit?’ while I just took in the new information like it was nothing. I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. “Seven over eight, so I’m guessing it’s close to zero point nine… like zero point eight something… eight seven five?”  
  
Her mouth was slightly agape as her eyes nearly popped out of her skull. “My AP calculus students can’t even do this question in under five minutes.”  
  
“Well, sucks to be them. Must be pretty embarrassing to have this lower level math class be smarter than them.” I snorted and crossed my arms, not even realizing the consequences of my actions. To me, I thought it was the simplest thing ever and expected the people around me to feel the same way.  
  
“Umm,” she looked around for something on her desk and eventually pulled out a piece of paper from the bottom of a folder before putting it on my desk, “can you fill this out?”  
  
I looked down at what she had given me and laughed. “I think the hell not! I’m not going to answer a fucking worksheet.”  
  
“If you do this, you don’t have to pay attention to what I’m saying for the rest of the class and you get to keep your earphones in without having to hide them.” She tried to convince me, pointing at the hand with the earphone dangling from it.  
  
I thought for a little while, contemplating which of my options was the best. “Deal.”  
  
“Great.” She smiled and went back to teaching the class.  
  
I put in both my earbuds and shook my legs along with the music as I pulled a pen out of my bag and started answering the questions. I zoomed through them, answering them as quickly as I had done with the one she made me do out loud. If she really wanted to keep me preoccupied the entire lesson, she should have given me something way more difficult, because I was done in no time.  
  
When I had finished completely, I scribbled my name in the corner and threw my pen back in my bag. Once I had closed it, I got up from my seat and hung it from my shoulder. I walked past her desk and put the worksheet on it, going straight for the door.  
  
“Where do you think you’re going?” She stopped me, making me freeze in place before turning around slowly.  
  
“I finished, there’s no point for me to stay longer. It’s my last class of the day, so I’m out of here.” I pointed finger guns at her to annoy her and started backing up until I knew I was nearly at the door.  
  
Before actually leaving, I took one last look at the other people and saw Alex staring at me in bewilderment.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Run In

**Alex’s POV:**

The sun had set and I had parked my car in the parking lot that was now illuminated by yellow street lights. There wasn’t anything special going on except for the fact that Jack’s parents were out of town for the night. Instead of throwing a party and risk being caught the next day, we decided to just have a small get together with a few people. Yes, I mean a _small_ get together, we weren't going to be stupid.

We weren’t responsible enough to think that soda was enough, though. Alcohol was a must no matter what, especially when no parents were involved. Stealing stuff from the cabinets, however was a very risky action. In our minds, we were willing to risk being caught using fake IDs more than there being a chance that Jack’s parents found the watered down alcohol and then lecture us or something.

Simple teenage logic.

There was this one store at this practically abandoned parking lot that we always went to. Practically everybody from school went there. Not only was it fairly cheap, but most of the employees didn’t care if you were underage as long as you had a fake ID that looked fairly realistic. Perfect spot for kids like me.

Jack and I slammed the car doors shut and started making our way towards the corner store. I stopped in my steps when I saw the familiar firetruck red hair waiting just outside my destination. It contrasted greatly to the black leather jacket she was wearing to keep her small framed body warm, her arms crossed as she looked ahead in a different direction.

“Shit. Mickey…” I muttered underneath my breath, not sure what was keeping me from just walking further.

Jack burst out with laughter, catching me off guard. “Dude, you still sure you want to go buy the drinks?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I shrugged, fully intending on continuing as if nothing had just happened, but the soles of my shoes were glued to the cracked tarmac.

“Because you’re afraid she’ll burst out with anger again?” The laughter hadn’t left his voice. Once he saw that I didn’t know why I would be scared of this hypothetical situation, he decided to elaborate a little. “You don’t just try to kiss her and not get any consequences.”

“When did I try to kiss her?” My voice went up a few pitches as if I was trying to deny something and hide it, but I honestly didn’t know what he was referring to.

“Oh, you know, after she punched your ex and you tried to get her to calm down. Going in to kiss her after you managed to do it wasn’t exactly a great idea, as obvious by what happened next.”

“Wait, that’s why she got mad?” I questioned, trying to remember the events as clearly as I could. I could still feel her pushing me away, leaving me flabbergasted. “But I _didn’t_ try to kiss her.”

“Alex, I was there. I was witnessing it all happening. You _were_ trying to kiss her. I could feel the tension, it was so awkward for me. You guys were just staring at each other and for a second I actually thought it was going happen. But then she blew up.” He explained, trying to convince me of what I had maybe done. If I had done it, it was definitely not on purpose and I did not realize it happening.

I rolled my eyes and my legs decided to finally work again, accidentally saying, “well, that’s just stupid, she wasn’t complaining about it before.”

_“Before?!”_ Jack screeched, now trying to stop me from walking rather than get me moving.

“It’s nothing, just leave it be,” I muttered, not wanting to get into that. It didn’t end well either, there was no reason to make clear that side of a relationship was a no-go.

“I can’t just leave that be--”

“Look at that, it’s the skunk boys.” Mickey smirked as we approached her, cutting off Jack, which probably also saved her dignity on accident.

Now that she had seen us and spoken, we could hardly continue walking and ignore her. Usually I would have taken any opportunity to talk to her, but the information Jack had given me made me want to crawl into a hole. Of course the thought of kissing her frequently crossed my mind, but I never knew I actually acted upon it.

Jack was the first one to immediately react, however. “Skunk boys? Why are we the skunk boys?”

“Well, your hair is black and white, like a skunk.” She gestured towards his hair as if it was self-explanatory and then looked at me with a more thoughtful expression. “And I guess ‘Gaskarth’ can be rearranged and some letters can be switched to make it sound like skunk… Gaskunk? I don’t know, not my strongest.”

I decided to ignore her lame attempt at half insulting me, thinking it was best to spare both of us some embarrassment, and went for a different approach. “What are you doing here?”

I’ll admit, that was _'not my strongest’._

“Probably the same you are doing. Only, technically I’m not buying it illegally until it’s actually handed to me,” she told us with a knowing look before breaking out into a smile.

“I could probably hand a fake ID saying my name’s Spongebob and they’d probably let me buy as many bottles of whatever I want,” I added to confirm her suspicions. That was the good thing about Mickey, she herself was bad so there was no reason to be afraid of her ratting you out unless you did something that motivates her to do so.

“I know, but I would say you were getting ripped off by the person who made that fake ID, because that is really shitty.” She laughed, her arms still crossed over her chest. Her face and voice were the complete opposite of her body language. One was strangely kind and inviting while the other was telling us to back off. I wasn’t sure which one to follow.

“Wait, so you’re not mad at Alex anymore?” Jack took his turn to ruin the moment with his questions.

She shrugged and pulled a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket, bringing one to her lips and lighting it. “Why would I be?”

Before Jack could remind her of what happened between us and get her to scream at me again, I interrupted with another one of my stupid questions. “You smoke?”

“Is that really such a surprise?” She rolled her eyes and blew the smoke out slowly and calmly.

“Right…” I clicked my tongue and shook my head, just happy that I had managed to change the subject.

And then there was an awkward silence. I had nothing stupid to say, Jack had nothing annoying to blurt out, and Mickey didn’t speak unless she thought it was relevant. Part of me just said to give that awkward goodbye and get on with my life, but another part didn’t want to leave. It was weird. But I did need to buy that alcohol, so…

But before I could give a half-arsed attempt, somebody came out of the store and came up to us. I immediately recognized that ‘somebody’ to be Devon holding a plastic bag in one hand and holding his jacket in the other. Turned out Mickey chose the option of waiting it out a little longer. Somehow he managed to look cool even just walking, but I knew how big of a douchebag he really was.

“You ready to go?” He nodded at Mickey, ignoring us completely, and briefly looked back at the store as if checking something.

“I’ve been waiting here for you, I’ve been ready since you left,” she retorted and threw her half-finished cigarette on the floor before putting it out with the heel of her shoe. “You got everything?”

“As much as the money could get me, _plus_ …” a mischievous smirk graced his face and he opened his jacket and revealed another hidden bottle, “a little more.”

Mickey’s face dropped as she glared at him. _“Devon.”_

“Come on, it ain’t gonna hurt nobody.” He nudged her playfully as the smirk grew and grew.

She was about to say something back when the store door opened loudly again and shouting came from the same direction. An older man, probably the owner, came running out straight for Devon.

“Fuck, _run!”_ He shouted at Mickey and dragged her along, leaving her no option but to fall in the same pace as him.

Together, then rushed around the corner. In no time, I could hear a motorcycle engine revving. Instead of trying the impossible and chasing them, the owner came up to us instead. He was already out of breath and would have never been able to catch up even if Mickey and Devon hadn’t left in a vehicle.

“Do you know them?” He asked us, putting his hand on his hips to try and steady his breathing.

“No, sorry.” Jack shook his head before I could stutter over my words.

“But you were talking to them.”

This time I shook my head, going further from Jack’s lead. “Not really. It was just a failed attempt at trying to… _flirt_ … with her.”

“So you must have seen what she looks like!” The owner desperately tried to get answers from us to help him catch the culprits.

“Not really,” I continued to lie, wondering why it came so easily to me, “we weren’t really paying much attention, and it’s pretty dark. I’m pretty sure she had pastel pink hair, but I couldn’t really see much.”

“Well, I’ve gotta call the cops.” The owner hurriedly got his phone out of his pocket and rushed back inside.

“Shit, dude,” Jack uttered underneath his breath, nearly standing against my back.

“We have to get out of here…” I agreed, not wanting to risk getting involved in all of this and somebody finding out we had been lying.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Start at Red

**Mickey’s POV:**

I was sat at the kitchen bar eating mini pretzels from a plastic bag, checking the clock every two seconds to see if it was time yet. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was checking so often. Yes, I had to be somewhere at exactly four, but it wasn’t like I actually wanted to be there though. The only reason I was forced to go was that my parents were out until late again, my mom had a late shift and my dad was out for a company dinner, which left me. They still didn’t trust me to be at home all alone, so they were forcing me to go over to Rian’s this time. It wasn’t like I actually had any plans that evening, though. I, just like normal people, didn’t go out every night; I also needed some time for myself.

Well, now it was going to be some time for myself and Rian. Great. Such a nice way to just do nothing.

When the clock hit four, I strangely got up and took my backpack off the countertop to actually leave on time. I even already had my shoes on. It was like my body wanted to go. I didn’t necessarily agree. Of course, I didn’t want to go. I had to if I didn’t want to risk my parents getting a deadbolt lock for all the windows and doors.

I walked the short distance across the street to Rian’s house and knocked on the door. It was only then that I realized that Rian had been over to my house many times, but I had never been in his. I had never even been on his porch before. This was all completely new. Who knew what laid behind the cream walls I saw on the outside?

It took a while before anybody answered the door. At one point, I even contemplated turning around and going back home because nobody was willing to let me in. But before I could actually turn on my heel, the door did open. Rian’s mom had a welcoming smile on her face, her curly blonde hair swayed a little as she greeted me.

“Come in, come in,” she ushered, moving aside so I could enter the house, “the boys are downstairs in the basement.”

“The boy _s?”_ I asked, the plural form of the word making me cringe. This couldn’t be happening right now.

“Yeah, they always come over here for band practice.” Rian’s mother replied. As if on cue, a loud crash came from the drums just a heartbeat later. “I’ll take you there.”

So, she started leading me to the other side of the stairs, where there was a door. I probably could have found it by myself, since it was in quite a generic place, but it was also nice of her to not let me fend for myself. It would have been pretty embarrassing if I walked in a completely different direction than I should have.

Right as Rian’s mom opened the door, a few loud profanities came through the speaker, loudly echoing from the walls. She immediately started flickering the light switch and said, “watch it! I can hear everything you’re saying through that microphone!”

A chorus of ‘sorry, Ms. Kathi’ mixed in with a ‘sorry, mom’ came from the four boys downstairs. I rolled my eyes at them. Alex always tried to act like a badass, yet here he was not daring to get in trouble with Rian’s mother. It was pretty funny to me.

So, ‘Ms. Kathi’ gestured for me to go downstairs and I did. The boys were surprised to see me when I got to the last few steps, having fully expected that Rian’s mother was going downstairs to give them some more scolding. But no, it was just me to make their lives a living hell for the rest of the time they were there.

“Mickey?” Alex questioned. Of course, it was Alex who had to be so surprised to see me and actually make it known. He always did it.

“Yep, the one and only!” I said in an over-the-top cheerful voice, which was obviously supposed to be taken as the complete opposite, and threw my bag on the floor next to the couch which I gracefully fell onto right after.

“I didn’t know we were going to have an audience today…” A guy I did not know with brown curly hair said, practically asking the others to bring him up to date.

Rian, despite being all the way behind the drums, decided to make introductions. “Zack, Mickey. Mickey, Zack.”

Before this Zack guy could say anything further, I made sure that I was the first to speak. “Cool.” I proceeded to take out my sketchbook and a ballpoint pen before laying down on the couch and announcing, “you guys better play some good music or I’ll listen to my own stuff.”

“Rude,” Rian said as he faked a cough.

I rolled my eyes and sat back up. This wasn’t the first time somebody would say things under their breath about me, but I never expected it to come from Rian. Maybe it was the fact that he was surrounded by his friends--usually it was just the two of us and he would never do something like that--or maybe it really did affect him. I was betting on the first one, though. So, I was going to humor him.

“Ok, so you want me to actively listen and give ‘constructive criticism’ instead, then?” I suggested, throwing my belongings back into my bag.

“How constructive would this criticism be?” Alex asked me, seeming both interested in getting another opinion and being afraid that I would just talk them down until they would give up this whole band thing.

I wasn’t that petty, though.

“I listen to music, but I can’t play it, so it will probably be shitty and any tips I give would most likely be unreachable,” I honestly told them, knowing that either way I was going to hear their music whether it be covers or their own.

“You do own a guitar, though.” Rian pointed out, referring to the red electric guitar I had up in my room that he probably had only seen the first time he came over with his parents.

“Can’t play it,” I shook my head, “never touched it. Nobody’s ever touched it; as you probably know, I don’t like people hanging around in my room.”

“Is it any good?” Alex’s expression turned to intrigue. He was in his element.

“Don’t know,” I shrugged, “it probably wasn’t too expensive. I don’t know shit about guitars. I could go get it and let you see if you can do anything with it.”

They all nodded, thinking it was a good idea. I wasn’t sure if it was because they were genuinely interested in this mysterious instrument that was gathering dust up in my room, or if it was because they wanted to get rid of me for a while, but I didn’t really mind. It gave me something to do. I had no idea how long this band practice was going to take, I was going to take anything that could make the time go by faster.

So, I quickly left the house, leaving all my stuff behind and not bothering to tell Ms. Kathi that I was going to quickly drop by my house and get something. Luckily, I hadn’t forgotten my key this time and didn’t have to climb in through my window. It didn’t even cross my mind that I could have left right there and then. Nobody could have stopped me. They wouldn’t even know until it was too late. I actually went up to my room and got the guitar from its stand and went right downstairs again.

However, before I could leave, the house phone rang. I couldn’t just leave it be when I was just two feet away.

I picked up the phone and said my name, expecting there to be some telemarketer on the other side that I could easily shut down. But no.

“Mickey?” My mom’s voice sounded through the speaker. “What the hell are you doing home? You’re supposed to be at Rian’s!”

I groaned. Finally, I actually did something she wants, and she happened to find me just when I happened to be seemingly doing something I wasn’t supposed to. “I know. I was there just a minute ago--”

“You were supposed to be there until Garry comes back home. You can’t just leave whenever you want. Isn’t that Dawson boy keeping you in line? I thought the two of you were better than this.”

“Mom!” I shouted before she could go on with her rant and say something she wouldn’t mean. “I literally just came home to pick something up. Rian’s friends are over having band practice and I told them about the guitar you got me years ago. They wanted to have a look at it. It’s literally in my hand right now and I was just about to head back.”

“You better be,” she said in a stern threatening voice. “I only called to make sure you actually went, I did not expect to get an answer. If I find out that you are lying to me, young lady, this will have serious consequences.”

“Really, mom. You can call Ms. Kathi and she’ll tell you!”

“Ok, then. You better hurry your ass because I’m hanging up and calling her straight away.”

With that, I heard her hang up the phone. I quickly put it back in its place and rushed out of the door, making sure to lock it behind me. When I had crossed the street, I didn’t even think of knocking before I entered Rian’s house. Right there, in the hallway, Ms. Kathi was already stood with the phone in her hand and to her ear.

“Yes, she’s here,” she said with a nod, looking at me, “yes, she’s holding the guitar.”

I groaned internally. Why did this have to happen? I didn’t ask for this. I was honestly doing something good for once. As soon as the phone was handed over to me, I was ready for shit to hit the fan and for me to get shouted at.

“Either you ran up to your room super fast and got that guitar or you were telling the truth,” my mom spoke through the phone, her voice still disapproving.

“God, what does a girl have to do to get you to believe her?” I grumbled back. “I even left my backpack with all my prized possessions here. Isn’t that enough of a sign that I’m telling the truth?”

“You come up with the most ridiculous lies, Mickey. How am I supposed to know? You’re lucky this time, but if I hear that it happens again, it won’t go past me so easily,” she warned me clearly as if there could have been anything that would have prevented this.

If I hadn’t answered the phone, she would have called Rian’s house either way. Then they would have found out I wasn’t downstairs and this could have gone way worse. I was going to take what I had gotten.

I handed the phone back to Ms. Kathi and ran back down the stairs to where the whole band had set up their equipment. They all looked towards me again expectantly. When Rian saw who I was, he sighed out in relief.

“What took you so long?” He practically growled. “I was afraid I was going to go out on _another_ manhunt for you.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” I raised my hand up in defense and handed the guitar to Alex. “Somebody rang the home phone, I answered, turned out it was my mom. She freaked the fuck out, so I’m trying to get through to her. Eventually, she lets me go so I can come back here, but she called your mom. I get the phone _again_ and she freaks out _again_. So, yeah, that’s what took me so long. I’m just offended that everybody thinks I disappeared.”

“That’s cause you usually do. I’m pleasantly surprised to see you here.”

“Anyway,” Alex interrupted before Rian and I could get into a bitch fight--which would have been caused by my frustration that needed to be released, “this guitar looks pretty nice. Let’s give it a try and hope nothing blows up.”

He unplugged his own guitar which was around his neck, and replaced it with mine. Nothing exploded just yet, but as he strummed it, I was pretty sure my eardrums exploded. It wasn’t that it was too loud, it was that it sounded absolutely horrible. Even Alex cringed and muted the strings as quickly as possible.

“Hey, dude,” Jack tapped Alex on the shoulder, “I’m pretty sure that’s out of tune.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Alex proceeded to try and tune the strings, but eventually gave up. “These strings are probably the ones it came with. Or at least they’re very old and oxidized… I’m pretty sure it will be fixed in no time with a quick string change.”

“Only I don’t have the money to buy those, nor would I be spending my money on something I wouldn’t even use,” I retorted and crossed my arms. At least somebody tried it, though.

“You should come work at Rita’s Italian Ice with me and Rian!” Jack excitedly suggested.

I blinked slowly at him. Was he fucking kidding?


	20. Chapter Twenty: Welcome to the ER

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I could sense that Mickey was going to snap back something to Jack that was very witty but she hadn’t thought through completely. Jack had just made a semi-joke about her working at the ice cream parlor with him and Rian; something that could be considered at an actual option. But it was typical Mickey to shoot things like that down immediately. I didn’t know why she always did it, but she refused to get any help from anybody concerning anything. I was pretty sure that if I offered to change the strings for her--cause I would, any day--she would just blow me off and try to insult me in the process.  
  
So, rather than having her do that again, but to Jack, leading to her rejecting the offer without even thinking about it for a while, I decided to step in. And how the all mighty Alex Gaskarth decide to try and do that? Well, let me tell you. It was quite a complicated maneuver, but I dared to use it. Switching the subject.  
  
“So, how about we actually use the remaining 30 minutes of band _practice_ to actually _practice?”_ I suggested, switching out Mickey’s disastrous-sounding guitar for my own again. It wasn’t that it was a bad guitar, I actually felt like it could be great to play with, but man did those strings need changing.  
  
“I do need to hear if you guys are any good,” Mickey agreed, dropping what was said before, “since last time and only time I asked Rian he said ‘I don’t know’.”  
  
“Way to promote our band, _Rian.”_ I rolled my eyes in a joking manner. He was a humble guy, the only time he would boast about himself was if it was as a joke and it was way too over exaggerated.  
  
“In my defense, I had just been threatened by some girl I didn’t even know!” Rian exclaimed, the drumsticks in his hand nearly flying across the room.  
  
“Ooh, I’m threatening,” Mickey smirked, satisfaction spread across her face, “I like that.”  
  
“We’ve already long established that.” I strummed my guitar once to check if the volume wasn’t too loud or too quiet through the amplifier. “Jack freaks out every single time you have that knife near you.”  
  
Jack gasped, his tongue clicking from the sudden movement. “I do _not!”_  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mickey sneakily reaching into her backpack. I didn’t even have to ask what she was doing and she had already pulled out her black knife seemingly out of nowhere. Her rapid gesture got everybody to look in her direction out of surprise. Almost immediately after, Jack let out an ear-piercing scream. He could recognize that knife from a mile away. Mickey burst out in laughter, nearly doubling over as she clutched her stomach.  
  
Jack quickly cleared his throat and mumbled, “huh? Totally wasn’t afraid, you see. I was _totally_ cool. Let’s just…”  
  
He proceeded to start playing the riff of a song off of our latest EP which we had released in the summer vacation and tried to sell to anybody that came our way. Honestly, we didn’t even care about selling that much, it was more about spreading the word. We’d do anything just for people to take it. Maybe they didn’t even listen to it, but it didn’t matter. They still had one of our CDs. Playing a few shows in the summer also helped a bit, but I still wanted to get out there more often to play more shows.  
  
After playing two more songs, trying to get a reaction out of Mickey, I finally decided to give up. All she did was look at us play without any emotion. I thought it didn’t go all too bad, but she looked like she was either bored out of her mind or thinking about something else completely. I at least expected her to bob her head along with the beat a little. No matter how shitty a song was, the beat always got you moving a little. With how she would dance at The Depot, I would never have thought she could be so still and so emotionless while listening to music.  
  
When she noticed that we weren’t going to play any more songs, she looked up and around. “Do you guys still want my amateur opinion?”  
  
I wanted to get a little defensive and snort to ask what opinion she could have possibly formulated, but held back. I didn’t need to set her off and go all crazy on me. If she actually had an opinion, I wanted to hear it. Never getting to know what it was would drive me insane.  
  
“Any feedback counts, right?” I smiled instead, nearly sickening myself with it.  
  
 _“Right…”_ She eyed me a bit weirdly, but decided to ignore whatever she saw. “I guess it’s fine. It’s not all that amazing. I mean, for a high school band it’s pretty good. Of course, it isn’t as great as all the popular bands out there right now. But let’s be honest, they’re all in their late twenties or thirties. They have had way more experience and also had to start somewhere. They probably weren’t any better back in high school. If you guys keep going, you’ll probably eventually get there, but you still have time.”  
  
“That the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Rian put a hand to his chest, right where his heart was, taking the words out of my mouth.  
  
“Don’t get used to it.” Mickey’s tone changed back to her usual ‘I will fuck you up’ tone, but with her next sentence, it faded a little again. “I just don’t think beating you guys down for no reason for something you guys like doing makes any sense.”  
  
Before I could try to dig a little deeper with her hard shell that seemed to be cracking, Ms. Kathi appeared at the top of the stairs. I was really just expecting for her to offer some cookies or something that Rian would refuse to give us, but it wasn’t that at all.  
  
“Hey, Mickey, your dad’s here to pick you up,” she announced instead.  
  
“My dad?” Mickey asked, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “He wouldn’t be back until ten-thirty _earliest.”_  
  
“No, not Garry, your other dad.”  
  
“I have _another_ dad?” She continued to question, but then realization hit her and I could physically see the blood drain from her face. She still tried to play it off, though. “Oh, yeah, right. I’m coming.”  
  
Without saying a goodbye to us, she picked up her bag and rushed upstairs. She didn’t even glance in our direction. Usually, I would have just said it was her being her rude self, but I couldn’t do so this time. With how her face had turned pale, nearly white in contrast with her hair, something told me that she was trying to hide it. Just ignoring us all together made that so much easier.  
  
“Huh, I don’t recall her mom telling me anything about this…” Rian remarked after the door at the top of the stairs was closed once again.  
  
And that was the statement that got me a little more worried. I might not have known much, or practically anything about Mickey, but I knew enough that something was wrong here. She didn’t come to my house that one time drunk off her ass because she thought it was fun, she hadn’t randomly broken her phone, and that slap I saw sure as hell wasn’t some hallucination.  
  
But I didn’t say anything. Why? Because Mickey never wanted help and we had just sort of left things on a good note. I wouldn’t risk losing that if it ended up being nothing.  
  
“Anyway, it’s five, time for you guys to leave!” Rian clapped his hands together and stood up, practically pushing us towards the stairs.  
  
He might have let us use his basement for band practice, but he sure as hell didn’t like us hanging here for any longer than that. By now we were all used to it. There literally wasn’t anything we could do that would let us stay much longer. He was so protective over his ‘me-time’.  
  
So, we all slowly left, but not without Ms. Kathi asking if we were staying over for dinner and Rian telling her that we were leaving now. It happened pretty often, and every single time I was the one made to feel guilty even though I was pretty sure she knew that it was always Rian who was throwing us out. I was actually pretty surprised he was so okay with hanging out with Mickey for so long, but then again it normally didn’t happen in his house.  
  
As I sat in my car that was parked on the road and was about to leave, my phone started ringing. I looked at the pixelated screen to see it wasn’t a number I had in my contacts lists, but I still answered nonetheless. You never knew what the person wanted. And it was good I did, because you would never have guessed what happened next.  
  
“Ok, Alex, I need you to be waiting out in front of my house in your car in five. Be ready to drive away as quickly as possible.” The voice on the other side ordered, sounding quite out of breath.  
  
“Wait, what? Mickey?” I frowned, nearly wanting to pull my phone away and check the number again, but also not wanting to miss a thing she said. “How did you get my number?”  
  
“That doesn’t matter,” she urged, a loud bang sounding close to her. “Now, can you meet me in five?”  
  
“Yeah… ready when you are,” I mumbled, not sure what I was getting myself into. Before I could ask any further questions, the dial tones were already playing.  
  
I sighed and hung up as well before trying to get my car a little closer to her house. It was practically a failed attempt, but since she asked me to wait in front of her house, I figured it was worth a try in the five minutes I still had to wait.  
  
It was the longest five minutes of my life.  
  
Eventually, I saw Mickey climb out of her window just like I had seen her do before, only this time she kept her backpack hanging from her shoulder instead of throwing it out first. I got to witness why she usually didn’t slowly take it down with her. After getting on the roof just under her window, she tried to grab something else. However, her bag made her lose her gripping and fall the distance instead.  
  
My eyes went wide and I was about the jump out to check how she was doing. No need, though. She already jumped right back up and ran towards my car. As soon as she had gotten in, I drove off like she had requested. It was completely silent except for her trying to catch her breath.  
  
Only after I had taken three turns, did I realize I had no idea where I was going. I was just driving blindly. “So… where should I take you?”  
  
“I don’t really care.” She shook her head, her right hand gripped around her left arm. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she looked down, her nose scrunched up slightly. She mumbled a ‘fuck’ under her breath, still not looking up to see where we were.  
  
“Everything ok?” I asked, mainly wondering why the hell she wanted to get out of her house so quickly.  
  
But she answered, taking the question from a completely different perspective. “I’m pretty sure I broke my wrist…”  
  
I frowned and briefly looked at her. She looked so calm and composed, not like somebody who had just broken a bone. “You sure?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m pretty _damn_ sure, Alex.” She snapped back, not removing her eyes from her arm. Her hair, which was pushed behind her ear, fell forward, creating a curtain between us.  
  
I shut up, trying to figure out what to say while she was obviously mad at me. But then I heard it. It wasn’t very loud, but I managed to pick up on it. Just over the sound of the motor, I could hear her sniffle. She wasn’t mad at me, she was mad at herself for crying in front of me.  
  
I decided on not bringing it up, trying to give her the satisfaction of not being caught. She didn’t need me making a comment about it even though I didn’t mean it in any way other than trying to help her. “We should probably go to the hospital and get it checked out.”  
  
 _“No.”_ She blurted out right away. “We can’t go there.”  
  
“Mickey, if your arm’s broken like you think it is, we can’t just leave it be and act like nothing’s going on,” I tried to reason. “Your arm can only get worse if you try to ignore it.”  
  
I saw her shaking her head as she still didn’t change her position. “No. My mom’s there. She’ll freak out on me if she finds out.”  
  
“Okay, well…” I didn’t know Mickey’s mom was a nurse, but it definitely made sense with all the late shifts she often had, “is it worse for her to find out right away or have her find out you were trying to hide a broken wrist from her? I’m pretty sure she’ll get even madder. And, let’s be honest here. What are the chances that she’ll be the one to check up on you? There’re probably so many other nurses that could be the one to check it out.”  
  
“Okay,” she whispered, to my surprise not needing any convincing other than what I said.  
  
“You know, I can only imagine how much it hurts.” I decided to take my chances on making sure she didn’t hide anymore. “Last time you were in this car, I did offer to be a shoulder you can always cry on… you don’t have to keep in confined to that chair.”  
  
She finally looked up and right at me, seemingly caught off guard by me knowing that she was silently crying. To be honest, though, she was quite good at hiding it. Her voice didn’t even shake, but then again her sentences were quite short. I was just a little bit better at finding out what was going on.  
  
Her heavy black makeup had smudged a little and started running down her cheeks. Usually, a sight like that made me cringe away since it meant it was another girl upset about me leaving after a one night stand, but this was different. This actually broke my heart a little. She was in _actual_ pain.  
  
When we got to the hospital, we were actually tended to quite quickly. I wasn’t sure exactly where to go, but I eventually opted for the emergency room. Mickey seemed quite relieved that none of the nurses walking around were her mother and she happily obliged when they had to take her to the x-ray room to get some pictures. However, after receiving the results from the doctor, some of the nurses happened to have switched places.  
  
Instead, a nurse with a frown replacing the usual be-nice-to-the-patient smile came in. “I’m not sure whether to be concerned or angry.”  
  
I didn't know whether I was supposed to stand up or stay seated in the chair they put next to the examination table.  
  
Mickey flinched and started batting her eyelashes. “You know which one I would prefer.”  
  
“I thought they were joking when they said my daughter was in here.” Mickey’s mother shot her a disapproving look and briefly looked in my direction. She seemed to mainly want to ignore me, though. “I guess I got a very unpleasant surprise. What in the world happened? I thought I made it clear that you were supposed to stay with Rian. Something--more specifically a missing phone call from the Dawson household--tells me you weren’t there when this happened.”  
  
I watched as Mickey tried to defend herself. “I was there, but--”  
  
“That ‘but’ is all I need to hear.”  
  
“No, I actually have a reason!”  
  
“You are full of excuses today, aren’t you?”  
  
“No, I _swear!”_ Mickey tried one last time, her attempt nearly coming out as a whine. “I was there, but then Rian’s mom comes and tells me dad’s there to pick me up. I’m confused at first, but then it turns out to be Michael. I didn’t want to risk him causing a scene, so I just left. Good thing I did, because to me he was obviously drunk, but as you know most people don’t really notice that. He takes me back home, tells me that you told him that I was staying with Rian cause nobody was home. He gets mad that I didn’t stay with him instead and freaked out on me. I locked myself in my room and escaped through my window. But I slipped… Al-- Rian’s friend brought me here…” She pointed at me.  
  
“Right, that’s me…” I awkwardly smiled and gave a small wave. “... _Rian’s friend…_ ”  
  
“As glad as I am that you’re ok and only broke your arm,” Mickey’s mother seemed to loosen up a bit, believing what Mickey was telling her, “did you leave him in our house?”  
  
“No, I called 911 and said there was a burglar in my house. While that might have been a small lie, I could hardly tell them that my father was at my house. That wouldn’t do anything,” Mickey explained, using her good hand to scratch her cheek, which we had made makeup free with some tissues. “I don’t know how it ended, though.”  
  
“You should have called me.” Mickey’s mom shook her head, but didn’t press it any further. “Anyway, I think it’s time to put a cast on this.”  
  
She left the room to get the supplies, leaving me and Mickey in silence for a little while. I wanted to ask her why she had refused to use my name, but before the words could leave my mouth, Mickey’s mother returned with a small cart that had a bowl of water and the patches of cotton covered in plaster.  
  
“Why do I have a feeling you just had to explain who Rian is to ‘Rian’s Friend’?” She asked us as she put the sock-like thing over Mickey’s arm.  
  
“Oh, no, I swear I _am_ Rian’s friend,” I answered, deciding to show there was only truth behind Mickey’s story. “Rian plays drums in my band… or I sing and play guitar in his band… or we play in a band _together_ …”  
  
Maybe that wasn’t the best way to explain, but the first two options I gave didn’t sound right. Luckily, Mickey’s mom looked past that. “Oh, the red guitar situation.”  
  
“It’s quite a nice guitar.” I nodded, to also show that that hadn’t been a lame excuse Mickey gave before. “Needs some new strings, but is great other than that.”  
  
Once again, there practically was silence as Mickey’s mom put the plaster on Mickey’s arm--luckily, it was only her wrist, so she didn’t need a full arm cast. With how quiet Mickey and her mom were being, I thought there was some tension between them. Maybe they didn’t get along all too great. But then again, it was just a feeling.  
  
The feeling was proven wrong with what Mickey’s mom did next. “Normally, we only leave the cool color choices to the kids, but since you’re my daughter, I think I can make an exception. Unfortunately, we have just run out of black that is as dark as your soul, so we’re going to have to choose something else. Definitely not hot pink, and this purple will also clash with your hair... Ooh, look a nice red.” She took it out of the drawer and brought it up to Mickey’s hair before scrunching up her nose a little. “Ok, no, these reds differ. That’s not going to work. It will be like when you complain about your black clothes not being the _same color black_. I guess this blue will have to work.” She pulled out a darkish gray-blue and started putting it over the cast after she had gotten Mickey’s approval.  
  
Somehow I felt like I had managed to get closer to Mickey without having to do anything myself. Maybe I was going about the friendship all wrong. I wasn’t supposed to force it.


	21. Chapter Twenty-one: Life Changing Moment

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
For once, I didn’t actually have to sneak out of my house to go out. I could just freely go wherever I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, that definitely wasn’t my parents’ plan, but it was how it went. I obviously couldn’t drive with a cast on my arm, so my dad drove me to school. The problem was getting back home. Neither of my parents was available at the time and my promise of finding a ride back home was broken.  
  
I didn’t stay at school the entire time, just like any normal day. Only, this time I couldn’t just get in my car and leave. But I had already made a few plans with Devon that easily let me sneak out and hop onto his motorcycle. Fair enough, it wasn’t safe going on the back of a motorcycle with a broken wrist either since I couldn’t hold him properly, but it was the last thing on my mind. I preferred to get high over school any day.  
  
So, that’s basically what we did the entire day. We sat around in Devon’s and Johnny’s shared apartment getting high as a kite. There were some other people around, including Johnny himself and some other people that had also been at the bonfire I had brought Jack and Alex to.  
  
Anybody who stepped into the room would have gotten second-hand high if they even stayed for one second. The air wasn’t clear anymore, clouded by the smoke that came from various joints. The coffee table was a mess; there was power still scattered all over it and it had gotten pretty scratched. Beer had been spilled all over the floor, creating some sticky patches. It was a complete and utter mess.  
  
But that was just our day-activity. As soon as the sun set, the entire group pushed through the entrance door of the apartment building. Some left, going off to do whatever mischief they could get into with other people, others just made the smart choice of actually leaving early for once. I, on the other hand, stayed with Devon, of course.  
  
His arm was wrapped around my shoulders as we walked through town. Johnny would occasionally try to slip me out of his grip, but Devon would constantly push him away with a loud laugh and pull me closer. It was just a normal night in my life, except for that bloody thing on my arm. I had gotten in many fights before, yet I managed to break my arm trying to escape my house. Well, wasn’t that a great battle story.  
  
“Ok, guys,” Johnny ran up to the front and started walking backward, his eyes still bloodshot and his speech still calm and slow, “I suggest we go to the park down the road and hit another one of these.” He proceeded to open one side of his jacket at tug at a joint he had in his pocket.  
  
“Dude, I’m just starting to get down from the shit we did before.” A girl with black hair spoke up, shaking her head at him. “And it seems like you could use a little break as well.”  
  
“Kate, Katelyn, Katie,” Johnny stopped in his tracks until we caught up with him and sloppily threw an arm around her, putting practically all his weight on her as well, “I live my life in a constant high. Gotta keep fueling this _fire!”_  
  
He thrust the air a little and pulled a blond girl towards him to have hanging off his other side. This new girl rolled her eyes yet didn’t move away from him. Johnny could be the greatest douchebag alive and act like a total jerk, but he still managed to sleep with any girl he wanted. Well, that didn’t include me. He made his advances, alright, but Devon made sure he kept his distance.  
  
“I’m just sayin’,” Kate shrugged, taking hold of Johnny’s hand that was hanging over her right shoulder, “we could either go smoke some more, or have some actual _fun.”_  
  
“But the clubs are miles away! I ain’t walking that far. No way.” Johnny removed himself from both girls and started walking backward again. Every single movement of his had this sway to it, and it wasn’t necessarily a slick sway, but more a drunken dizziness.  
  
“I wasn’t necessarily implying that, but that does sound like something I need right now.”  
  
“But, as Johnny said, everything’s so fucking far away!” I repeated. There wasn’t even an underground club nearby and the two bars that were just at walking distance sucked ass. Whenever we actually wanted to go out, we either had to hang out at somebody else’s place, or we all needed to pile into a car.  
  
“Guess we’ll just have to find a mode of transport.” Devon smirked, untangling himself from me and leading us to the right where there was a small parking lot.  
  
Maybe it was the fact that most of the streetlights were broken and the few that worked kept flickering, or maybe his expression told me that shit was about to go down, but it did not feel right. I wasn’t somebody to easily turn down anything, especially in this group. I was around nearly every time they did something, give or take a few nights that I either spent with Rian or Devon--one _way_ more sexual than the other.  
  
Devon jogged up to a black car and hit the hood a few times with a satisfied grin on his face. “This one will do.”  
  
“Fuck yeah, man!” Johnny punched the air triumphantly and rushed over to Devon to help him out. “Bitches be going crazy when they see us cruising in this thing.”  
  
When Devon went over to the driver’s side and started trying to find his way in--he looked like he knew exactly what he was doing and had done it many times before--I stared in amazement. No, it wasn’t admiration, it was amazement at the fact they were stupid enough to do this.  
  
“Are you crazy?” I seethed at Devon, trying to get him away from the car.  
  
“Crazy for you.” He winked and didn’t step away, still prying at the door.  
  
“No, are you _fucking_ insane!” I said a little louder, now catching the attention of Johnny and the other two girls, who were watching in amusement as the guys tried to break into a car.  
  
“Pretty much, yeah.” He nodded and pulled a knife out of his pocket, wedging it between the door and the body of the car.  
  
“You can’t do that. I was able to let all the other stuff past, but you can’t steal a car. You have no idea whose car it is. It could be from someone who has spent ages trying to save up for a car and can barely afford to take care of their family. What if their job is ages away?”  
  
“Or it could be some self-absorbed asshole. I’m willing to take the risk.”  
  
I ran my right hand through my hair and couldn’t bear to watch anymore as he pulled the antenna off the car and tried to fit it through the gap he was creating with his knife. “You know what? I’m done.”  
  
“Done with what?” He took a second to look at me instead of his hard work.  
  
“Done with you, _obviously.”_  
  
“Okay.”  
  
I waited a while to see if he would give me a proper reaction. Of course, I knew that whatever we had never really involved any feelings, and I knew that he was only ‘dating’ me for sex, but I was expecting a little more than an ‘okay’. Even him saying that he was cool with it was better. I couldn’t do anything with this.  
  
“Are waiting for me to have a change of heart?” He laughed, taking his hands off the tools and focusing all his attention on me. “I’m sorry, _sweetheart_ , that’s not who I am. If you really thought I would get feelings for you, that’s you could change me, you were very wrong. I didn’t change at all. Matter of fact, I actually slept with many other girls while seeing you. I only used you for sex, _sweetheart_.”  
  
I nearly started laughing as well. He really thought what he was telling me right now was hurting me. It was like he thought I didn’t even know he was totally sleeping around behind my back. I honestly didn’t want anything but sex from him either. What he was telling me actually sounded like music to my ears. But still, the fact that he consciously was trying to hurt me with his words didn’t sit right with me. I had some tricks up my sleeve as well. I knew what got guys like him going.  
  
“You know, I slept with other people too.” I tried to make it sound nonchalant, but it sounded more like I was trying to hurl something hurtful back in his direction. This wasn’t what was supposed to get him, though.  
  
“Great. Guess we’re even.” Devon didn’t even seem fazed by it, turning around to go back to his work.  
  
“I slept with Alex… on multiple occasions,” I added with a smirk.  
  
“Should I care about whoever this Alex-guy is?”  
  
“He isn’t really anybody important,” I shrugged, trying to build up to my big finish, “just the guy who hung around me the entire time at the bonfire.” I tried to keep my grin at bay as Devon’s smile fell. “Actually, I did happen to sleep with him there as well… I must say, he knows what he’s doing. It’s so surprising that a high school kid has better skills than you do! He really managed to get me to scream.” His jaw tightened, but I still had to go a little further. “You could really learn a thing or two from him. You constantly do the same thing over and over again. You never even managed to get me close to an orgasm. So, I think I might actually go find him right now and actually show me what a good time in bed is.”  
  
Most of it wasn’t true. I didn’t think that Alex was better than Devon--although he no longer was at rank twenty-five and had managed to climb my list a little--I didn’t think that Devon kept doing the same thing over and over again, and he had actually managed to make me orgasm before, but most of all I wasn’t going to go to Alex to have sex with him right at that moment. The only reason I said it was to show that nobody got to have the last word over me.  
  
So, with those thoughts left to bite away at his self-esteem, I left the scene. A little while later, I could hear glass breaking and the car alarm going off. It wouldn’t have surprised me if Devon had found something to smash the windows with--it wasn’t just one single shatter, but multiple--not because he couldn’t break in without harming the glass, but because of his rage.  
  
No man like him liked to hear that a high school student was better than them.  
  
The only problem was that I was going to have to walk eleven miles home and it was already pretty late. With no phone in my possession, I couldn’t even call anybody. It seemed like it was going to be a very _long_ night.


	22. Chapter Twenty-two: How It Ended

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
After another boring day at school consisting of me wondering why I hadn’t asked my mom if I could just skip school today for ‘emotional healing’, we finally got to my favorite period of the day: _Lunch_. It really was the greatest time of day. I got to talk to my friends without being constantly interrupted by teachers telling me to either keep it down or shut the hell up.  
  
We were at our usual table, in our usual seats. There was only one thing missing. Right next to me was an empty seat where a girl with bright red hair occasionally sat. After the whole breaking-her-arm incident, I would have expected her to have warmed up to me a little. She had called _me_ to help her out, she didn’t have _any_ bitchy remark when I told her I knew she was crying, she let _me_ help her remove the smudged makeup, and I was there the _entire_ time with her. You would have expected she would have at least shown a little gratitude.  
  
But _no_. She hadn’t been in the classes we shared, she didn’t even show up during lunch. It had happened multiple times that she skipped classes, but then suddenly appeared later. This time, however, I didn’t see a trace of her, which was pretty difficult with that hair of hers.  
  
“You think she skipped again?” Jack asked, stuffing a sandwich down his throat in three bites.  
  
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Rian scoffed. Usually, he had some sort of update since he was often forced to hang out with Mickey or he’d see her leave when he looked through his bedroom window. But there was nothing this time, only what he had seen happen in the past.  
  
Before I could add my own comment, wanting to tell them to cut her some slack because of what happened, a figure was stood beside me and heavily sat down on the seat next to me. I was immediately blinded by the fire-truck red hair, not just surprised that she was sat there, but also because she did it completely out of free will. Every other time, I basically had to drag her with me.  
  
“I’m going to take a nap now,” she announced without any further information on where she had been the past three days, “wake me up as soon as it would no longer be acceptable for me to be in here.”  
  
She crossed her arms over the table and leaned her head against it, closing her eyes almost immediately.  
  
“Did loverboy keep you up all night?” Rian laughed, knowing that this was most likely true in most cases.  
  
But no, not in this case. Mickey’s eyes shot open as she turned to scowl at Rian. “No, I broke things off with him. He was kinda getting boring.”  
  
“Last time I saw you with him, you certainly _weren’t_ bored of him,” he scoffed, not believing a word she was saying.  
  
Even I was skeptical. Only, I felt like she was lying for a different reason. I didn’t know what her motive was, but something told me she was bending the truth a little. But then again, it was Mickey who we were talking about, she was infamous for bending the truth. If she actually was lying, we wouldn’t have noticed.  
  
“Last time you saw us together was weeks ago,” she snapped back and reached back to put her hoodie over her hair before resting her head on the table again. “Now, shut up, I need sleep.”  
  
“Goodnight, Mickey.” I had to fight back my amused smile. She looked so done with everything.  
  
 _“Shhh!”_ She put a finger to her lips and gave my arm a push after she was done shutting me up.  
  
So, much for being able to talk loudly with my friends… but I’d rather be silenced by Mickey than a teacher any day.  
  
Unfortunately for Mickey, it seemed like everybody was against her. A girl who I had only mysteriously seen around a few times was stood just beside Mickey. I had no idea what she wanted from us, but it seemed like she was there for Mickey. That only made it more suspicious. The other girl didn’t seem like anybody who Mickey wanted to associate herself with, with a white flowery-slash-frilly top over some jeans, which only the preppy students at school wore. Some part of me actually believed Heather might have sent one of her ‘friends’ out to do some dirty work.  
  
The girl, however, managed to beat me to speaking first. “Hey, umm, Moni-- wait, you go by Mickey now, sorry… I, umm, I just wanted to give you this.”  
  
She placed a book down on the table and hurried away, not looking back. Mickey, however, slowly raised her head in confusion and looked at the item. Her face contorted even more and she looked up to see who the girl was. Despite only being able to see her from behind, Mickey’s eyes widened in recognition, her eyes flickering back down to the book and back up to the girl.  
  
“What’s this?” Jack rudely reached out and took the book from its place, opening it to a random page.  
  
“Don’t you _fucking_ touch that!” Mickey seethed and ripped the book, which was covered in pen and stickers, out of his hands. She quickly went to put it in her backpack, but in the process of doing so, a photograph fell out.  
  
Jack’s curiosity took over his fear and caused him to pick up the photograph and take a look at it. “This is you? Holy _shit!”_ He pointed at the girl on the right in the photograph.  
  
I could recognize the other girl as the one who had just given Mickey the notebook. They looked way younger. Mickey had her natural brown hair which fell in some loose curls. The other girl had slightly darker hair than her, and it was way straighter, more like how Mickey’s hair was now. They were smiling brightly at the camera, embracing each other and wearing matching pink dresses.  
  
I wouldn’t have recognized Mickey if it weren’t for her facial features.  
  
“I swear to god, Barakat,” she pulled the photograph out of his grasp too, nearly ripping it, “I will make sure you will never be capable of having sex _ever_ again.”  
  
With both the new items in her bag, she stood up and was getting ready to leave. Before she could, though, I grabbed her good arm to stop her and gave a warning look toward Jack. I was never the peacemaker, but I wasn’t going to let Mickey walk away after she finally came to us by herself. He was not going to ruin what I had built up.  
  
“I’m sorry…” He quietly mumbled, staring down at his food in shame.  
  
“Ok, there we go.” I nodded, taking a mental note to thank him later on. “Now, Mickey, if I recall correctly, you were going to take a nap.”  
  
She huffed but put her bag back down and took her seat again. Without me having to tell her twice, she resumed her sleeping position and closed her eyes. And, yes, she did actually sleep until I woke her up just before the bell went.  
  
\----  
  
That evening, after band practice, when I went out to my car I was met with Mickey leaving her house. I was confused why she would be leaving her house. After hearing she broke up with Devon, I thought she wouldn’t really go out as much anymore. But what confused me the most was that she was going out the front door while her dad’s car was parked out on the driveway.  
  
“Hey, Mickey!” I crossed the road to the place where I had been waiting for her in my car just a few days prior. “Where’re you going?”  
  
“On a walk,” she replied as she went down the two steps that lead to the front door, “just down the road to the small park and back.”  
  
“Mind if I join?” I asked, taking my chances and hoping that I didn’t overestimate them.  
  
She shrugged and let me walk beside her as she started her way down the pavement. I was kind of surprised at first that she didn’t make a snarky comment about me wanting to join, but then I remember that slowly but surely she had been changing and was reacting less cold to me. It was only a good thing, of course, but it took some time to get used to.  
  
Eventually, after walking in silence for a few minutes, I decided to speak up. There was something on my mind that I wanted to ask her about. “So… what actually happened between you and Devon?”  
  
“Huh?” She looked at me, putting on a perfect confused face; most people wouldn’t notice she was faking it.  
  
Yet, rather than calling her out, I tried to explain more. “You said you broke up with him because you got bored of him, but I call bullshit. What actually happened?”  
  
She sighed and refused to look at me, instead focusing on the road ahead of us. _“Technically,_ I was getting bored of him…”  
  
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”  
  
 _“But,_ ” she finally glanced at me for a short while to show that I was correct, “the break up was a more spontaneous kind of thing. He tried to steal a car--I’m pretty sure he succeeded by the way--but it didn’t sit right with me. I am cool with doing anything but stealing. So, I ended things right there and then, which is why I got no sleep last night. I had to walk all the way home.”  
  
“What? You know you could have just called me, right?” I told her, a little confused as to why she would call me when running away from her house, but not in an emergency like this.  
  
“No phone, remember?”  
  
“Right…”  
  
“Anyway, long story short.” She went back to what she was telling me before. “He was being a dick, I broke up with him, he thought he said some hurtful things to me--they didn’t hurt at all--and I used you to make him mad because _he was being a dick.”_  
  
“You used me?” I tried to think back if I noticed anything that could confirm this, but nothing rang a bell.  
  
“Well, I told him we were sleeping together, which isn’t true, and that you were way better than him, which--”  
  
“Which isn’t true.” I finished the sentence for her, not having to hear the words come out of her mouth again.  
  
She shrugged, at first not deciding to say anything back, but then eventually opening her mouth. “Some aspects yes, some aspects no.”  
  
“How so?” I asked, curious as to how she could possibly think that, but also to check that she wasn’t lying.  
  
“You’re nicer and you don’t only think about yourself.”  
  
“That all?” I dared to inquire despite already being satisfied with the answer.  
  
“I’m not saying that you’re bad,” she defended herself, “I’m just saying that Devon is really good. Except for the nice and thinking-about-somebody-else aspects.”  
  
And that was where that conversation ended, but there was more to come when we turned right and went through the gate that let us into the park.


	23. Chapter Twenty-three: A Little Less Conversation

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I walked up towards the swings and sat down on the one furthest to my right. As I put my backpack, which I brought with me everywhere, on the ground, I let my shoes dig into the wood chips used to break any possible falls. It wasn’t like I could get any worse, but I wasn’t going to risk falling… as long as I could prevent it. If somebody was going to push me off, there was nothing I could do, but I could make sure I didn’t actually start swinging and do that stupid jump off thing all kids did.  
  
Alex sat down on the swing which was now to my right due to me having changed directions. Just like me, he only swayed a little, using the swing more like a porch chair. He held onto the left chain with both hands and lightly pressed his head against them as he looked at me.  
  
“So…” He cleared his throat, making the first noise over the distant cars. “What were you planning on doing here? I’m actually kinda surprised none of your friends are here to party with you… or are they hiding behind a bush?”  
  
“Yes, they are all watching us.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head a little. “Of course they aren’t. They were Devon’s friends, not mine. Well, they acted like mine and I acted like theirs, but as soon as Devon and I ended, so did all the friendships.”  
  
“That sucks.” He frowned and kicked some wood chips as he stared out in front of him.  
  
I shrugged and opened my bag. “I’m kinda used to it. Only, usually, we move soon after it happens or just before it does. By then, though, I often find a new group. It’s not that difficult.”  
  
“Still, it sucks… but why have you moved so often? Your parents’ jobs? I don’t even know where you’re originally from.”  
  
“Cause I’m a shitty person,” I snorted, pulling out the notebook I had gotten earlier that day, “ _obviously_.”  
  
“No,” he denied immediately after the words had left my mouth, “don’t say that about yourself.”  
  
“I’m kidding,” I grinned smugly, nearly laughing at him trying to make sure I didn’t talk myself down. “I’m _obviously_ great.”  
  
“Obviously…” He muttered, briefly glancing at me.  
  
“But, seriously, though, we do move around because of me. My mom always freaks out when she thinks I’ve done something wrong and makes us move, but I honestly don’t think whatever I’ve done is so bad. I don’t really mind though… My dad’s job is all over the states, so he can work practically from wherever. My mom’s a nurse, so we just go to the place that can get her a job soonest. As for where I’m originally from… I was born in Texas, we moved here when I was a few months old. Lived here for thirteen years, went back to Texas to live with my mom, and then the moving started.”  
  
He looked satisfied with the answer I had given. It probably was the most I had ever told about myself to anyone. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was doing it, because I didn’t really see the point in anybody knowing useless information about me. But it didn’t really matter. According to what was the norm, my mom would find something to freak out over soon and we’d leave again. I could leave everything behind and me telling all this stuff to Alex wouldn’t even matter.  
  
You’re probably thinking ‘why is Mickey so closed off?’ Well, I’m not really. I could easily talk about my entire past, there was nothing to hide, I just didn’t think it was necessary. It only really mattered who I was at the moment, right? Although, I did like to think the first thirteen years of my life did not exist. I liked to call it ‘The Dark Ages’, just because of the person I was. The cringe was real.  
  
“You mind me asking what that notebook is for?” Alex asked, breaking off my thoughts, and pointing at what I was holding in my hands. “Or would that cause me to be walked away from and possibly give me a slap across the face?”  
  
“Depends on which you prefer,” I teased with a wink, confusing me immediately. Was I... _flirting_ with him? The hell!? Breaking up with Devon really got me going to the lowest of low.  
  
“I actually like you talking to me more than you freaking out on me,” he replied, not taking any note of the tone I believed my words had given off.  
  
I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. I barely wanted to open my mouth again out of fear that I would do it again and embarrass myself without even consciously doing it. But, I just unwillingly started giving him information. “This is the great and magical shared diary eleven-year-old me and my best friend started. It’s probably the funniest yet most sentimental thing I have in my possession right now.”  
  
I proceeded to open it to the first page where a load of glitter started covering my hands. I tried to dust them off, but it only spread out the glitter over my skin and onto my clothes. “Damn, I’m still going to be finding this everywhere in a year.”  
  
“One thing you’d definitely tell your past self is to stop using glitter.” Alex laughed, causing me to reach out and try to transfer some of the glitter onto him. He, however, stepped to the side, still sitting on the swing, so that he was just out of reach. I stuck my tongue out at him and stopped my attempt.  
  
I quickly went to the next page and stared down at what I had claimed to be my signature when I was eleven years old. Right above it was a poorly written agreement in green felt-tip pen. “This was us making sure we handed it over to each other every Wednesday so we could write in it. It was so fucking silly, we even went as far as to mail it to each other when she went on vacation. We never missed a day. And guess what, today happens to be a Wednesday as well. Seems like she kept her promise…”  
  
“That either is a really fucking great best friend or just a complete coincidence.” He tried to look along, but with the few feet distance between us and it getting darker by the second, it was quite difficult. “Speaking of which, who is this best friend exactly?”  
  
“Her name’s Olivia and we met through her older brother. I went to elementary school with him and her parents tried to set up a ‘play date’, but you know, cooties and stuff, so I just hung out with her the entire time despite her being two years younger.” I pulled out the photo I knew he already had taken a look at before, and handed it to him. I could still remember what she looked like, I didn’t need a reference.  
  
“Well, that’s super long…” Alex studied the photograph, trying not to wonder at how much I had changed since it was taken. “Longer than Jack and I have been best friends.”  
  
“Yeah, well, as soon as I moved, the friendship was over.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“... I _moved_ …”  
  
“Yeah, but you guys could have kept contact, right? She probably knew your address, why didn’t you guys keep mailing each other the diary? It shouldn’t have been that difficult. Worst case scenario, there were some delays.”  
  
I scoffed, “I don’t know. How did I manage to turn from that curly brown-haired middle schooler that wore flowery dressed into _this?”  
_  
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” He held up the photograph, flickering his eyes between twelve-year-old me and the real me.  
  
I snatched the photo back from him and stuck it between the last page and back cover. That was enough. Although I had nothing to hide, I didn’t need him investigating me. And here I thought we were, strangely enough, having a normal conversation. Of course, there was some ulterior motive behind it.  
  
“I’m sorry… Did I go too far?” Alex apologized, seeming to understand that we were not near close enough for him to do anything like that.  
  
Instead of replying, I decided to open a random page by letting my fingers push through a gap between the wrinkly pages. My bad mood entirely washed away when I saw what was written down. I could still remember lying down on her carpeted bedroom floor on our stomachs, pens and pencils surrounding us, as we wrote down another pact together that we had to sign to make official.  
  
I nearly forgot what had happened before and informed Alex, “we made a promise to each other to never kiss a boy. Well, isn’t that stereotypical.” For the first time, I handed the notebook over to him so he could take a look at how hilarious all these memories actually were. They probably were funnier to me, but I was willing to share some of the joy.  
  
 _“I, Olivia Westfield and Monica Barker, solemnly swear to never ever ever ever kiss a boy. They are annoying and disgusting and yucky and gross and stupid. We will never ever like them.”_ Alex quoted the passage that still had my old surname with a chuckle. “Well, that didn’t exactly work out for you, did it?”  
  
He handed the open book back to me. I shook my head, agreeing with what he was saying. “Well, to be fair, she did break the promise first. And since she was two years younger than me, I felt like I was behind, so I went and kissed the first boy I could find who had a crush on me. Kinda surprised she never got mad that my middle school boyfriend was her brother…”  
  
“Oh, damn, drama! Should I know this kid as well?”  
  
“Probably not,” I answered, but then remember he sort of did. “Actually, remember that guy who I nearly ran over driving to the bonfire? That was him.”  
  
“No way!” Alex gasped, enjoying all this gossip way too much for a teenage boy. “Kinda weird that he was banging on the window to try and get your attention…”  
  
“I guess. Hopefully, that crush from seven years ago isn’t what caused it… that would be awkward.” I bit my lip, really praying that that wasn’t the case. Not only was it very unrealistic, but I also didn’t feel like dealing with that drama.  
  
“Maybe he was just surprised at how much you’ve changed.”  
  
I nodded and flicked through the next few pages. “We only have four more entries, after this I moved.”  
  
“Sad ending to a happy story.” Alex gave me a dramatized sad face, nearly resembling one of those masks.  
  
“Not necessarily,” I contradicted and closed the book before storing it back in my backpack. “I’m not saying I’m suddenly going to be friends with her again, or if a friendship would even ever happen again, but I don’t really think it’s a sad ending. We both turned out alright without each other. And if I really wanted to change things, I could always fill the rest of the pages with my own thoughts. Most likely won’t, though.”  
  
“I mean, if you did want to be friends with her again, this definitely is her giving the sign that she’s cool with it. She might even have taken the first step already.”  
  
“And next thing you know I’ll start dressing differently and be living with Michael again, yeah _right_.” I shook my head and stood up, hanging my bag from my shoulder once again. “Anyway, it’s time to get back before my dad thinks I’m out doing drugs again.”  
  
Alex stood up as well and started following me. “Well, I am a drug. You just keep coming back for more!”  
  
“Umm, _excuse_ me,” I wiggled my finger at him in a disapproving way, “I don’t do drugs, we don’t do that in this neighborhood. Plus, if anybody here was a drug, it would be me. You’re the one that keeps coming up to me!”  
  
“I’ll have you know you haven’t pushed me away yet, though.”  
  
I lightly shoved him by knocking our shoulders together, making sure not to do it too hard and possibly make him fall onto the road. “There we go, I pushed you away.”  
  
“Oh, it that how we’re going to play this now?” He raised an eyebrow and I could tell from his eyes that he was planning on doing something back.  
  
“Yes, it is.” I laughed back, trying to cross my arms as best as I could with my cast getting in the way.  
  
He took two steps closer to me very quickly and started poking my sides to tickle me. I let out a yelp that echoed from the houses and ran away from him as fast as I could. Occasionally, he would catch up just enough to poke me again, causing me to bend my body at weird angles to try and get him to stop. The walk back to my house was way quicker than going to the park.  
  
He stopped trying to attack me as soon as we were on the sidewalk right in front of the driveway of my house. His car was parked across the road, occupying the street by Rian’s house. We were both out of breath from running the entire way as I still let out some occasional giggles from the leftover jitters in my body.  
  
“Ok, well… I think I can smell food, so I’m going to go inside and see what my dad has made,” I said and jerked my thumb in the direction of the front door, which was behind me.  
  
“This wasn’t too bad, was it?” Alex smiled genuinely, looking at me to see my true reaction.  
  
I gave him a half-smile. “No, I guess not.”  
  
We stood there in silence for a short while longer. I wasn’t sure how things would have gone if we had just continued to stand there doing nothing for even longer. Although neither of us was saying an actual goodbye yet, something in the corner of my eye caught my attention, taking away any focus I had on the weird moment Alex and I were having.  
  
“Don’t look,” I said as I glanced up at the window on the other side of the street, “but Rian’s watching us.”  
  
“What?” Alex furrowed his eyebrows and was about to turn around and look anyway.  
  
I quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him back so that he wouldn’t show Rian that I knew what he was doing. “Yeah, he thinks he’s being sneaky hiding behind the curtains in his bedroom, but I can see him peeking out.”  
  
“Why would he do that?”  
  
“I dunno…” I kept my gaze towards the window, where Rian’s curly hair was showing me his position, “but something in me just wants to kiss you to shock him.”  
  
When I looked back at Alex to see what he thought of my horrible plan, I already saw him staring at my lips, just like he had done in the hallway a while before. I knew exactly what it meant, but I wasn’t going to freak out on him this time. It didn’t feel right.  
  
So, instead I smiled one last time and said “Goodnight, Alex,” before turning around to go inside my house.  
  
“Goodnight, Mickey,” I heard him mumble back before his footsteps went in the other direction.


	24. Chapter Twenty-four: Back to the Start

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
Somehow, life had gotten better. Never would I have ever guessed that I, Alex Gaskarth, was going to be hung up on some girl for so long. I wasn’t the one who was even remotely interested in anything other than the physical aspect of a relationship, but somehow I was following around this girl, telling her that that part didn’t even matter. All I wanted was friendship. It was strange. I only realized that I was as soon as things started going well.  
  
I was so used to trying to get through to the girl that was playing hard to get that I didn’t even have the mental capacity to think through all my actions. Now that she was finally opening up to me and letting me be around her, it was quite a change. What I now knew was annoying behavior, wasn’t needed for her to notice me. Somehow her breaking up with Devon got her to warm up.  
  
Ever since she let me come along with her when she went on a short walk in her neighborhood, I knew that we actually had a sort of friendship going on. She wouldn’t get mad at me anymore every single time I came up to her, and she actually didn’t need to be dragged to lunch. Of course, she didn’t show up to class every single time, but she was always somewhere at school, especially with that broken arm of her's preventing her from actually leaving.  
  
I’ll straight up admit that I might have let her leave one time… in my car… with me driving… Jack joining us and Rian having rolled his eyes at us. Don’t worry, the usual mischief Mickey was involved in didn’t occur that time. We basically just drove around and didn’t do anything other than listen to the music playing on the radio.  
  
So, to sum it all up. Things were fucking great.  
  
But, as you can probably sense, it didn’t last all that long.  
  
Contrary to how long it took Mickey to change to this nice person, she turned cold again in no time. While I was so used to the behavior just weeks before, her turning back to it so suddenly did take me aback. I wasn’t expecting it at all.  
  
It all started at lunch. I hadn’t seen her the entire day since we didn’t have any classes together, but Jack said that she hadn’t shown up to the class he shared with her either. Rian, however, said that he had seen her around in the hallways, so she definitely was at school. That wasn’t what was different, though. She also did eventually show up to our table, but without any food, which was quite strange.  
  
“So, Mickey, you ready for the test tomorrow?” Rian asked her, trying to start up a conversation despite the slightly off mood hanging around us.  
  
“Test?” She breathed out, showing she couldn’t be less disinterested than she was at that moment, rolling her eyes at him.  
  
He stared silently at her for a second or two before continuing, trying to brush it off as something she didn’t mean. “Yeah, the AP calculus test? Most people are freaking out about it, it’s like the only thing you hear in the halls right now.”  
  
“AP calculus?” She asked next, shaking her head, wondering what she even had to do with his story and probably thinking he was just trying to make small talk. She never really liked small talk, but she hadn’t been so bitchy lately.  
  
I decided to take over before she bit Rian’s head off. “Yeah… you switched classes, remember? You somehow went from my class all the way up.”  
  
“Wait, what? I switched classes?” She laughed and hit her hand against the table, continuing in a sarcastic tone. “Well, shit, aren’t I screwed?”  
  
“Does this mean you never showed up to a class?” Rian’s eyes went wide as he started scolding her, his babysitter hat on. “Mickey, you switched weeks ago!”  
  
“Well, guess I’ll be showing up tomorrow, won’t I?” She shrugged and stood up, taking her bag with her as she left us without another word.  
  
I was left confused as her red hair slowly disappeared behind all the students in the distance. What was going on with her? I didn’t recall anything being said that could possibly piss her off. Maybe she just didn’t want it to be a known fact that she was actually really good at a subject most people thought she was failing. I didn’t really understand why that would have been a bad thing, but then again maybe she thought it would ruin her reputation. But wouldn’t she have thought hanging out with us also would have been bad for her reputation? Maybe she was just killing two birds with one stone…  
  
“The fuck did _you_ do?!” Jack exclaimed, reaching across the table to hit my head.  
  
“Me? I didn’t do shit!” I shook my head, immediately going for the defensive route.  
  
“Why else would she suddenly be such a bitch?”  
  
“I don’t know,” I seethed, glaring at him as I rubbed the spot that was slightly throbbing, “but something’s obviously wrong.”  
  
“Maybe it’s just her time of the month,” Rian suggested with a shrug as he continued eating his lunch. By now, he knew how to deal with Mickey acting out. Which way was that? By practically ignoring it and letting her be her.  
  
I shook my head even though I didn’t even know if that was the case. “I’m going to find out.”  
  
Jack scrunched up his nose in disgust. “You’re going to find out if she's on her--”  
  
 _“No!”_ I interrupted before he could finish his sentence, not even wanting to go further down that road. “I’m going to find out what’s wrong.”  
  
“Be careful,” Rian told me as I got up from my seat as well, my lunch only half finished. “Bring some aloe vera for the burns.”  
  
I completely ignored his comment, not needing his negativity if I knew for a fact Mickey was going to blow up on me as well. If anything, Rian had to be thankful that I was willing to take one for the team and figure out what was up. I was willing to let myself be Mickey’s punching bag just so that we could all know why the hell she was back to acting like her old self again.  
  
I went out the same exact way she did, hoping to find her somewhere close. Although I was dying to know what was going on with her, I also didn’t feel like having to search throughout the entire school and surrounding streets. Honestly, if she was that far away, I would have just said she didn’t want to be found and then try again later.  
  
But it didn’t even come to that point.  
  
I saw her rush into the nearest bathroom, stopping me from even starting my search. Perhaps Rian had been correct, but my gut feeling was saying otherwise. So, I walked the last few steps toward the thin door that was creating a barrier between us and leaned against the lockers as I waited for her. She was going to have to come out sometime.  
  
A few minutes later, she did reappear--only after I started wondering if there maybe was a window she could have climbed out. I immediately pushed myself upright as she acted like I wasn’t there and started walking in the other direction. But she wasn’t going to get away from me that easily.  
  
“Mickey!” I called out and took a few fast strides so I could grab her wrist and stop her from moving.  
  
As I did that, she was forced to turn around. She tried to put on a menacing scowl, but I could see right through it. Although her makeup wasn’t smudged, her eyes and surrounding skin showed that she had been crying. I had seen the exact same puffiness when we were at the hospital. Something really wasn’t ok.  
  
“What do you want?” She seethed and squinted her eyes at me as she yanked her arm out of my grip.  
  
“I just want to check if you’re alright,” I said, knowing it probably wasn’t the best way of asking her right after the words had left my mouth.  
  
“Just _peachy_. Now, fuck off.” She stormed off again.  
  
“You know I can’t do that,” I ran after her, not caring where exactly she was leading me, “especially if you’re in a state like this.”  
  
She froze in her steps and looked at me again, but she didn’t show any signs of telling what was going on. Actually, it looked like I had infuriated her even more. “State like _this_? State like what, Alex?! Are you trying to say that--”  
  
“You can keep trying to push me away, but you know I’m stubborn as fuck,” I cut her off, not wanting to wait for her to finish her sentence and leave me again. “I know that you’re not ok right now. I can tell from the way you act and look.”  
  
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For a second, it almost looked like she was going to take a second and then spill her guts. But it was already too good to be true. She shook her head and took off again. I didn’t let her go further than one step, though.  
  
“Leave me alone, Alex,” she tried to growl, but her voice was too shaky. She couldn’t even try to play it off anymore. I had managed to make her break before she got to her destination. I knew, and there was nothing she could do about it.  
  
“No, Mickey. You’re obviously not doing ok and I won’t let you go through that alone. You can tell me anything, and I’ll be here to listen. You might not think I’m the best person for this, but I’ll at least try my best. But for me to do that, you actually need to let me in, you need to tell me what’s going on.”  
  
She stood there in silence again, her body completely stiff. This time, however, I could see the battle going on in her mind. On one hand, she was still standing here with me, on the other she hadn’t said anything yet and her body kept moving back and forth a little suggesting she was thinking of running away. Of course, I just hoped that the part of her that was thinking of telling me was going to win.  
  
 _“IthinkImaybepregnant,_ ” she blurted out, her words strung together to make it sound like a jumbled up word.  
  
My eyes went wide, and not just because of the information I was given, but the fact that she was actually telling me without putting up a further fight. I just wanted to take a minute and take it all in, but I wasn’t going to risk her sarcastically saying something along the lines of ‘well, great advice, Alex. So happy to have told you, Alex. I totally feel better now, Alex.’ I needed to act fast.  
  
Only, I didn’t exactly act in the best way possible. My stupid questions were arising again. “H-- have you taken a test?”  
  
“I just told you that I _think_ I _may_ be. Does it sound like I did?” She snorted, giving me the exact reaction I was trying to avoid.  
  
But the next thing that came out of my mouth was even worse. “Could it be mine?”  
  
“No, you asshat. Surprisingly, it can only be Devon’s. He’s the only one I’ve had sex with since my last… yeah…”  
  
“Ok,” I took a deep breath in and calmed down my thoughts, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little shocked right now.”  
  
“Yeah, well, you’re the one to talk.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
“Look, Mickey, I get that you’re afraid, but you don’t have to take it out on me. Hell, _I’m_ even scared for you,” I tried to sympathize with her, but I was only a 17-year-old male. How the hell was I supposed to do that?  
  
“Well, that doesn’t make me feel better at all. You know what? I shouldn’t have told you,” she mumbled and slowly started walking away.  
  
But having her leave me on this note only made me feel guilty. I had taken her defense down only to make her feel worse. That wasn’t my intention at all.  
  
“No… this is just the first time I’ve had to deal with something like this. I’m just trying to figure out what to do,” I replied whole-heartedly. “I’m going to help you through this. I just need to-- Do you want to tell Devon?” I asked and she shook her head, which actually made me feel a little relieved. I couldn’t imagine that guy raising a child. “Ok, well, then, I’ll step up. We can act like we’ve been secretly seeing each other, even if it’s only for sex, just like you told Devon. Then, when people find out you’re pregnant, they’ll think it’s mine. I might only be nearly eighteen and way too young, but I’ll tell my parents that it’s mine and that I want to take responsibility for it. I’ll raise it as my own.”  
  
“Do you really think that will work?” She inquired. I thought it was a serious question, that she was actually trying to help me with my unrealistic plan, but I soon found out that it wasn’t like that at all.  
  
“Yeah,” I nodded, still trying to figure it all out in my head. “I mean, I’ll probably have to leave behind the whole band thing, which would suck. And I’d have to find a job or maybe find a college that would want me, but we can make it work.”  
  
“Are you fucking out of your mind!” She laughed loudly, right into my face. “That’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some stoned guy try and explain how he’d steal the Crown Jewels of England with just a paperclip and speedos. Do you really think you are capable of raising a child? How stupid _are_ you! Alex, I don’t even want to be your friend, what in the world makes you think I want you to be the _father_ of my child?!”  
  
“What?” I meekly whispered out.  
  
“Oh my god, you are fucking hilarious. Oh, boy…” She wiped a tear from her eye and continued to laugh as she walked down the hallway.  
  
I was left standing there, shocked and with a broken heart.


	25. Chapter twenty-five: The Final Straw

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I was fucking ecstatic the next day when I had to go back to school. Like, shit, man, I probably hadn’t felt this way since Michael actually took me out for ice cream once when I was six and got me a cone with sprinkles. Best day of my life. I actually couldn’t wait to get inside and see all the little shits that annoyed the crap out of me every single day. Today was so much different.  
  
Believe it or not, I actually said goodbye to my mom after she dropped me off and drove off to go to work for the day. Even she looked at me in astonishment. She rarely got me to acknowledge her let alone have me tell her to have a great day at work. If anything, she was now suspicious of me being up to something horrible. But no, I was just happy.  
  
I practically skipped towards the school building and went inside without getting mad at somebody who accidentally walked into me. I didn’t even care that they touched me. Now, that must say something if everything else hadn’t. It was like one of those cheesy movie scenes in which the guy happily walked to work before all the shit went down. Only, for me, no shit was going to go down.  
  
As I walked through the main hallway, I found Alex talking with his group of friends to the side. Perfect place, perfect time. He was exactly the guy I needed. Everything was going the way I needed. Nothing could take me down anymore. There were days where everything went wrong, today was not one of those days.  
  
I walked past the group, grabbing Alex’s wrist since he was stood with his back towards me, and started pulling him along with me further down the hallway and to the right corridor that was practically abandoned at this time of day. My smile was still as bright as the day as I finally let him go and turned around to finally look at him. But when I saw the daggers he was shooting at me, my face fell.  
  
“What the hell do you want Mickey?” He nearly screamed, but stayed quiet so that we wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention. “Are you here to tell me that you want to go through with my ‘stupid hilarious plan’? Because guess what, I’m out. I have put up with _all_ of your bullshit ever since school started, and I have been willingly doing so, but you went _too_ far yesterday. I am _done_ trying to help you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to back to the people who do actually want to be my friends.”  
  
I reached out to stop him, just like he had done to me so many times over the course of the short time I had been living here, and whispered, “no, don’t go.”  
  
“What?” He turned back around and furrowed his eyebrows. I wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t hear me or because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  
  
“Don’t go…” I repeated, my heart beating fast. It was practically the only sound I could hear, overpowering the sound of the chattering school kids back in the main hallway. “I’m sorry…”  
  
His face slowly relaxed as he thought over my few words. “I don’t know whether or not to believe you. For all I know, you’re just saying sorry so I’ll go through with the plan.”  
  
I shook my head, the adrenaline still rushing through my body. I wasn’t sure what was making me feel this way, but I had my suspicions. “I’m not pregnant.”  
  
“Ok, but if you were, you would probably still be mad at me. Is that what you’re telling me?”  
  
I sighed, an unknown feeling spreading throughout me, a feeling I had only felt once before when I had just turned fourteen and the guy who had taken my virginity told me he didn’t want anything else from me. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. Just leave it be.”  
  
It was my fault that he was mad at me in the first place. If I had just told him I appreciated him trying to help, but that it wouldn’t help, it would have been so much better. Even just keeping my mouth shut would have been way better. I ruined my only chance at an actual friend because I had to go and act unreasonably again. So, I had to walk away from this and deal with the consequences.  
  
“Mickey, wait… now I feel bad,” Alex breathed out and ran a hand through his hair. I knew that this all must have been frustrating to him. All he wanted was to help me and I was making things so much more complicated.  
  
“Well, you shouldn’t,” I told him and continued to walk away. This was the only time that leaving was the right thing to do. It was probably better for both of us, or at least for him.  
  
But just as I was about to turn right and head to my locker, something stopped me. I never was the one to back away from a challenge. I always kept going until I got what I wanted. Usually, that was much easier. This time, I just had to put in a little bit more effort. I did not walk away from my problems, and I was not going to walk away from this one either.  
  
I confidently stepped up to where Alex was still standing, ignoring the nerves that were tingling through my fingers. Rather than staying a distance away like I usually did, I got right up into his personal space. It seemed like he was ready for me to say something right into his face to hurt him again, but for the first time it actually wasn’t my intention. No, something completely different was.  
  
I craned my neck upward just a little bit and planted my lips against his. I could tell he was taken aback at first since he didn’t do anything, not even breathe, but after a short while he started kissing me back. My heart started racing again, only this time it wasn’t what I was focusing on. There was something much larger and much more important going on. I didn’t even stop to think about why I was kissing him, I was too consumed about the fact that I was. All the details I usually ignored were even registered. The way his nose pressed against my cheek and breath hit me lightly, the way his hair gently tickled my skin, the way his hand went down to my waist so he could pull me closer to his body, causing the kiss to deepen.  
  
But it was only short lived.  
  
He pulled away abruptly and stared at me with wide eyes. “I already told you before I wasn’t interested in having a sex-only relationship with you.”  
  
I shook my head again and said the only thing that was going through my mind at the moment as I avoided eye contact and looked at his chest again, where my hands were firmly placed, “I’m sorry… I just-- For some reason, I keep pushing away anybody that tries to help me in any remote way. I’ll say the most hurtful things my mouth can formulate before I can even think about them. It obviously isn’t doing me any good. I know it’s not a good excuse by any means, but I’m just telling you the truth.”  
  
He pushed a lock of my hair behind my left ear, forcing me to look up at him. “And the kiss…?”  
  
“Well, I wasn’t really planning on having sex for at least another little while after that scare…” I moved my hands up to his shoulders and got the courage to look up at him again.  
  
Instead of looking at me weirdly, like I was expecting him to, I barely even got to make out any expression. He was leaning back in almost immediately. While I usually would have moved away as soon as possible, I let our lips meet in the middle again. It was like the past few years that had shaped me into who I was now didn’t exist. I felt like I was twelve years old again, getting my first innocent kiss, only this one wasn’t meaningless and we both knew exactly what we were doing.  
  
With my eyes closed and his freshly-showered scent making my senses go into overdrive, everything that had happened before was forgotten. All of the bad feelings were washed away and my words from the day before were slowly being forgiven. It was like a cliche teenage-drama movie scene, only with a bit fewer camera angles and less mood-setting music.  
  
Just like I said before, nothing could ruin this day.  
  
“Hey, guys, if you could stop sucking each other’s faces off, that would be great.” Jack popped his head around the corner, the rest of the group he had been standing with before in tow. “You can fuck in the janitor’s closet later, but for now we have to get to class.”  
  
\----  
  
Alex drove me home that day. I originally planned to go with Rian, but he had some kind of doctor’s appointment, so he couldn’t really take me. That was when Alex immediately jumped in. I could tell Jack and Rian noticed something was going on but decided not to push it. Before you ask, yes I did apologize to them, just brushing it off as not feeling well (which technically was actually the case). I knew that just acting like all was good was not going to work, especially since I felt like Alex had told them about the fight we had but not what it was about. This just cleared it all up a little.  
  
Oh, and yes, I did take that AP calculus test without having studied. All the students were so surprised to see me walk in, some asking me if I had walked into the right classroom. Even the teacher looked at me in confusion. I just told her I wasn’t going to miss the test to which she said good luck especially since I had missed all the classes. Apparently, if I had gone like I should have every class, I would have caught up just fine. But whatever. I finished my test early.  
  
Anyway, back to the part you guys want to hear about: Alex driving me home. It wasn’t anything special except for the fact that he kinda had to drive in a different direction once we got to the neighborhood. He only drove me because he wanted to, not because he happened to pass my house on his way somewhere else. I knew it was because of what happened that morning, but I was happy with it too. Neither of us knew what it meant exactly, but instead of acting awkward, we were subtly trying to figure it out. I even asked him to come back inside!  
  
But that was when my oh-so perfect day went downhill in less than one second.  
  
I didn’t notice the car in the driveway. I didn’t notice that the door was already unlocked and the lights were already on. I didn’t take notice of anything but my conversation with Alex. So, you must understand my shock when I saw my mom sitting at the kitchen table… with her head in her hands… and the pregnancy test I had taken in front of her on the table. She wasn’t going to be home until dinner, yet here she was, still in her scrubs.  
  
When she realized that I was home, she looked up at me, her cheeks stained with dried tears. “Are you fucking kidding me, Mickey? Are you crazy?!”  
  
“It’s negative, though…” I pointed out dumbly while Alex was stood a few feet away from me, frozen in place as he saw the scene developing in front of him.  
  
“The sole fact that you had to take one says enough. We talked about this.” She stressed, feeling hopeless. However, when her eyes fell on Alex, her real rage started showing through. “And you have the audacity the bring another guy into _my_ house when you know nobody’s home! The hell, Mickey? How fucking stupid are you?! I believe we’re going to have to move again.”  
  
I never heard my mom swear other than when she stubbed her toe against the table or something of the like, yet I still tried to defend myself. “That’s not what--”  
  
 _“Out!”_ she seethed at Alex, pointing in the direction of the front door.  
  
“But, th-”  
  
 _“Out!”_ She repeated, ignoring my attempts at explaining anything.  
  
“Mom!”  
  
“Mickey,” Alex stopped me and shook his head, “I’m going to leave.”  
  
He ran out after that, the door hastily closing behind him and his engine starting not soon after.  
  
“The fuck, mom!” I screamed and I heard him drive away. “That was Alex!”  
  
Her eyes widened as all her features turned into a menacing scowl, showing me that I better had not talked back to her. She was on mode mom-rage 3000. “Should I care about this ‘Alex’ guy at all?”  
  
“He’s the one who brought me to the hospital!”  
  
“Oh, yeah, right. _‘Rian’s friend’_. Don’t think you can fool me, Monica. I’ve had it with your bullshit.” She got up, her voice getting louder and louder. “I get that you’re an adult and can make your own decisions, but I am not ok with you sleeping around with every guy in town. What the hell do you think goes through my mind when I find a pregnancy test in the trash can in the bathroom? You keep doing reckless things and it’s not just ruining your life, but mine too!”  
  
I ignored everything she said except for the things that included Alex. He was all I could think about now, so I sure as hell was going to defend him. “I’m not sleeping with Alex!”  
  
“I can bet you a thousand dollars that you don’t even know who the father would have been.”  
  
“Actually, I would have. I’m not as big of a slut as you think I am!” I yelled, done with her shit. I was done with everybody constantly thinking I let any dick get inside of me whenever they wanted. _I_ decided who I slept with, _I_ was the one who knew when to stop. Everybody thought I slept with every guy I met, but I was far from that. I picked wisely… well, sometimes more wisely than others.  
  
“You know what? You’re grounded.” She was no longer raising her voice at me and instead turned dead serious. For some reason, this version of her was scarier than the one that yelled at me.  
  
“Yeah, right, like _that’s_ ever stopped me before.”  
  
“I am fucking serious right now, Mickey. To your room, now.” She pointed at the stairs just like she had done with Alex. “I raised you better than this.”  
  
I actually did go upstairs, but not before I got the final word. “That’s the problem. You _didn’t_ raise me! You had _nothing_ to do with my upbringing. If you were such a great mother as you think you are, don’t you think I would have come to you about this instead of taking a pregnancy test in secret? What kind of shit mother are you?”  
  
I slammed my door shut, the force shaking the walls and the sound echoing through the entire house, even my windows rattled. I didn’t have to think twice before locking the door and packing all the stuff I could. After checking through the window that nobody could see me, I threw all my bags--both suitcases and plastic bags--out of the window. I jumped out right after, flinging all my belonging into the back of my truck. Yes, I drove away despite my broken arm.  
  
I meant every single word I said.


	26. Chapter Twenty-six: Something Fishy

**Alex’s POV:** ****  
  
At first glance, seeing Mickey’s car in the parking lot at school wasn’t anything abnormal. But as soon as I started thinking about it a bit more, the stranger it got. First of all, her car wasn’t in it’s usual spot. Somehow, she had managed to get the one closest to the entrance. Second of all, she was actually on time, early even. As we all know, she either came late or didn’t show up at all. Third of all, just the fact that her car was in sight was strange. She couldn’t have driven with her broken wrist. Yet, the red truck was definitely hers. It had the same license plate and all.  
  
Of course, I didn’t think about that all until much later in the day. I didn’t really notice anything was off. All my mind really was focused on was that kiss Mickey and I shared and how it may have changed everything between us. I really did want it to actually have meant something. It seemed that way when it happened, but you never knew with Mickey. Her mood switched every day. With what happened with her mother when we went to her house, she was bound to be in a pissy mood.  
  
The only thing was that I didn’t see her until a free period I shared with her and Jack. So, I had basically been playing all the scenarios through my head. There was one where she acted like nothing happened, one where she got super mad at me again, one where she started making out with me, one where she ignored me, one where she pulled me into the janitor’s closet again. You get it, many many different possibilities. I was just scaring myself and making myself very nervous.  
  
You would never have guessed the option she chose.  
  
As soon as the bell went, Jack and I found Mickey at her locker. She carelessly threw one of her books in it, and I was fully prepared for a screaming match. I was so apprehensive about it, trying to steer Jack away so that we wouldn’t have to do this now, but he just dragged me along. I was pretty sure I looked like a kid being dragged along by their parents to go grocery shopping for healthy food. For the first time ever, I did not want to face her.  
  
Jack leaned against the locker, holding me in place. I was bracing myself for her telling us to fuck off. Her reaction was something I would never forget.  
  
“Oh, hey, guys.” She smiled as she closed her locker, shoving it a bit with her shoulder to make sure it wouldn’t jam.  
  
Not only was her reaction unexpected, but also the way she looked. Her face had no trace of makeup. No trace _whatsoever_. I had praised myself for seeing her ‘makeup less’ after she had broken her arm, but obviously some of it hadn’t smudged. There was no sign of the black stuff she always put on her eyes and I could see a few very light freckles on her nose. She looked so different, even different from the first time I saw her, yet she was still astonishing.  
  
“Woah, you look different!” Jack blurted out, noticing exactly what I was seeing. But anybody could, it would have been strange if somebody didn’t notice.  
  
She squinted at him, somehow still making it menacing but less without the thick black line on her eyelids. “What?”  
  
“Nothing.” He pursed his lips and stiffened up a little.  
  
“Good answer.”  
  
At least there was still a part of her in there, which was comforting. Her greeting us in such a friendly manner and her not wearing any makeup almost made it seem like she had changed everything. Only her clothes remained. But, no, some of her behavior was still in there. It wasn't that easy to change a person.  
  
She took it upon herself to start a new conversation, which was also very much unlike her. “Anyway, I was wondering if you guys could maybe help me find a job.”  
  
“Rita’s Italian Ice!” Jack immediately piped up excitedly. “I need a friend to talk to!”  
  
I shrugged, still not thinking it was such a bad idea, more surprised about the fact she didn’t shut him down as soon as the word ‘friend’ left his lips. “You never turned down the offer.”  
  
“Hmm… I guess I never did…” She thought out loud and gave Jack a nod. “I’ll think about it.”  
  
I couldn’t help but grin at this mysterious progress that she was making. While I was so happy that it was happening, I couldn’t help but wonder where it came from. It was such a sudden jump. Just a week ago, she was still skipping school, doing whatever came her way with Devon. There was no way he was the cause for her acting up before. If that were the case, the years prior to her moving here would have been very different. Something else motivated her to go in this direction.  
  
Rian ran up to us when he saw us walking to his next class. “Hey, Mickey. I just saw your mom enter the principal's office. Did you do anything stupid without including us?”  
  
“What?!” Mickey’s eyes went wide with panic, but the rest of her composure tried to suggest that she was calm and dealing with the information very well. “No, not that I know of. But, I actually have to be somewhere right now… so I’ve got to go. See you guys later.”  
  
She stood up on her toes to reach up and kiss me on the cheek before scurrying away further into the school building. I furrowed my eyebrows out of confusion; not because she just kissed me on the cheek, but because she was in a sudden hurry. Just seconds before, she seemed like she had all the time in the world. It could be no coincidence that she suddenly ran away when Rian mentioned her mother. But she had been too happy for that whole dispute to still be a problem, right?  
  
“Well, you guys know I need to hurry away as well,” Rian squeaked as he started sprinting down the hall right when the next bell went.  
  
“And you are going to tell me what the hell is going on and why Mickey just kissed you on the cheek,” Jack whisper-shouted at me and grabbed my elbow as he started pulling me with him.  
  
“That’s the problem,” I shrugged, “I have no clue either.”  
  
It was true. I had no idea what was going on between Mickey and me at the moment. As for her mom and her getting into a huge fight, I didn’t think it was my place to tell. I wasn’t going to risk this thing Mickey and I did have just because Jack wanted to be in the loop. I didn’t even know the details about the fight. All I knew was that Mickey’s mom was seriously disappointed and couldn’t have me out of her house sooner.  
  
Apparently, Rian had been called to the principal’s office that period, or so he told us during band practice. No, he didn’t get in some deep shit. It was about Mickey. They wouldn’t tell him what was going on, but they asked him a few questions. It was mainly about if he knew where she was. He had just repeated what Mickey had said to us, that she needed to be somewhere. I had to roll my eyes at him. It was quite obvious that she left right there and then, taking the back entrance so nobody could catch her leaving. I thought it was pretty common sense. But even I didn’t know where she would have gone. I just hoped she didn’t resort to going back to Devon.  
  
Well, I was to find out just exactly where she went after band practice. As I got in my car, her rusty red truck still wasn’t in sight although both her parents were obviously home. I was actually starting to get worried, my nerves getting the best of me. She had no phone, so no way to call anybody if something was wrong. Who knew what kind of trouble she had gotten herself into?  
  
What was even more worrisome was that when I got home, her car was in the driveway. Last time she came over was when she had gotten completely wasted after having to stay with her dad. I could not imagine her driving here both with a broken arm and drunk.  
  
I couldn’t get out of my car faster. I picked up my bag from the passenger seat and rushed to the front door, awaiting the drama that was going to be happening inside the house. Based on what happened last time, I could only imagine that my mom was not pleased at all. Mickey really had to start warning me if she was just going to show up here.  
  
However, when I came inside, still in a frenzied state, all I heard was laughter coming from the kitchen. I slowly dropped my bag to the floor and walked the short distance to see what the hell was going on. There, at the table where Mickey had said ‘thank you’ to me for the very first time--and probably only time--was sat the same redheaded girl as mentioned afore but with my mother this time. They both had what seemed to be a cup of tea in front of them, while Mickey was sat on a chair with her knees brought up to her chest.  
  
“Oh, Alex, you’re back home!” My mom smiled brightly, still coming down from the laughter she had shared with Mickey before. “Although I don’t really seem to mind this time, I’d really appreciate it if you do tell me the next time you agree with a friend that they can stay over for the night.”  
  
“Oh, umm…” My mouth was slightly agape, my hand moving a little as if it would help me make sense of things. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that… must’ve completely slipped my mind.”  
  
“It definitely seems like it,” Mickey giggled, shaking her head at me as she reached out for her tea and took a sip.  
  
“Anyway, it’s time for me to start cooking dinner.” My mom got up for her chair, pushing it back in place and going over to the fridge.  
  
“We’ll leave so we’re not in your way,” I told her and gestured towards Mickey with my head. “Mickey, you coming?”  
  
She raised her eyebrows at me and placed the mug back on the table. “I’d totally stay and help, but I don’t know how to cook if my life depended on it, so I’m going to take Alex’s offer.”  
  
“That’s ok, darling,” mom shooed her away a little, taking me by even more surprise. I never thought my mom would be so nice after Mickey showed up at our doorstep in the middle of the night, but I wasn’t complaining.  
  
So, I brought Mickey up to my room. As soon as my mom heard us going up the stairs, she reminded us that she wanted the door wide open, to which I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t like Mickey and I were actually going to do something here, especially after she just took me by surprise, but then again I also couldn’t promise it with how rash her decisions in that direction were. And you know me, I could not say no to her… eventually… after trying to tell myself it wasn’t a good decision countless of times.  
  
“Did we actually make plans of you coming here or did you just lie to my mom?” I asked first and sat on my bed.  
  
“A small white lie.” She leaned against one of my walls and looked around. “Rather stay here for a night than at Michael’s… Nice room you’ve got. Very… _angsty.”_  
  
“I just like my bands.” I smirked back, knowing that she probably was the definition of teenage angst yet was trying to describe me with it.  
  
She hummed in response and slowly walked around to inspect every poster I had hung up. First she’d look at the band’s name, then at what usually was their faces, then at anything else on it, and then she’d move on to the next one. Something told me she wasn’t really paying attention, though. It was more like it was something for her to do while we otherwise would have just stood there in silence.  
  
“Hey, maybe we should talk about what happened…” I spoke up, causing her eyes to snap towards me.  
  
“About what?” She asked. Usually, it would be her trying to act like she had no idea what I was talking about, but I felt she was actually asking which part I meant. So much has happened the past days.  
  
I wanted to know every single thing, but I decided to start at the beginning. “About what you said before you kissed me yesterday. About you refusing help. Or do I need to get you drunk to confess things again?”  
  
“It would make things a whole lot easier.” She huffed and joined me on my bed a few feet away from where I was sitting. “I don’t know what to tell you.”  
  
“Anything.”  
  
“I don’t know.” She shrugged, almost making me believe she had shut off again. “I guess--” She stopped, breathing out heavily as I could see her trying to find the right words. “It’s all I really know, really. It’s how I grew up. By the age of six, I already got up on time for school by myself every single day, made my breakfast, got my bag packed, and walked myself to the bus stop. By the age of eleven, I knew how to go grocery shopping for a household and not just for candy. I was the only thirteen-year-old throwing away all the beer bottles collected over the week. I guess I’ve just always been used to doing things by myself. Then things changed, but I was too used to it already.”  
  
“And you started rebelling,” I suggested, deciding that following the route of ‘helping’ her with my words wasn’t the best option if we were literally talking about her having trouble dealing with it.  
  
“I wouldn’t really call it _rebelling,”_ she shook her head with a slight smile, “but who I am today has been formed by a combination of shit.”  
  
“Well, that sucks complete and utter ass.” Ok, maybe I was discretely trying to help her a little by letting her vent at me without me giving her the usual reaction she expected.  
  
“It does, doesn’t it?” She laughed, combing her fingers through her hair and putting it up in a very messy bun.  
  
I nodded in encouragement, my own grin toying at my face. “It sucks because you’re a pretty great person underneath this hard exterior.”  
  
“Ugh, now you’re getting all sentimental. Gross.” She scrunched up her nose and pushed me away used her sock-clad foot.  
  
“I’m being serious though!” I pushed her leg away and sat back upright, keeping my hand on her thigh since somehow her wanting to get rid of me had only brought me closer.  
  
“I bet you are,” she challenged and bit the inside of her bottom lip a little.  
  
“Want me to prove it?”  
  
“How?”  
  
I went in to kiss her, but before I could reach her lips, my dad shouted that it was time for dinner, signaling that he was both home and that there was food on the table. So, not wanting to risk either of my parents coming upstairs and seeing what was going on, I pulled away with a smirk. Mickey knew exactly what I had been planning on doing, so therefore the technical meaning was still there.  
  
“I guess it’s time for you to meet my dad,” I told her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her up with me.


	27. Chapter Twenty-seven: Next Stop

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I left before Alex could wake up. No, it wasn’t like we had another one night stand. It was nothing like that. I didn’t even sleep in his room, let alone his bed. His mom was nice enough to give me the guest bedroom. Once again, I managed to sleep like a baby. Only, this time I didn’t wake up when I naturally did along with a hangover to remind me of my mistakes. I actually woke up super early for once.  
  
I had already told Mrs. Gaskarth that I wanted to leave early the next morning, so she was up around the same time I also woke up. This time she didn’t make me her amazing English breakfast, which I truly understood. Number one, it was a school day. Number two, it was super early. And number three, I wasn’t drunk. But having a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice was already more than what I got on many days. Usually, I didn’t even have time for breakfast in the morning.  
  
So, let me tell you why I was leaving so early if it wasn’t because Alex and I had a one night stand. Well, it all had to do with the day before… the night a little included. I didn’t really have anywhere to go when I left through my bedroom window, so I drove around a little bit trying to find a solution. The only solution I could think of after a lot of consideration was driving to school and sleep in my car there. It worked out all fine, but it meant I entered the school as soon as the doors opened. To say the teachers were surprised to see me was an understatement. I just told them I had a project to work on and needed the library. So that’s where I spent all my time until class started. The only problem was that to make my lie believable, I needed to come early again today. I just used the same excuse on Mrs. Gaskarth. It worked out all fine.  
  
Since I didn’t stay in the school parking lot this time, I actually had the space and time to put on my makeup. It was more than awkward doing that in the school bathroom. Reapplying was easy to do, but not starting from scratch. Of course, I didn’t have all the stuff I needed at Alex’s house, so the only thing I could do was replace my usual liquid eyeliner with a small line of eyeliner pencil that would have brought me back to my short emo phase if done too thick. It didn’t look half that bad and was better than nothing. I could just feel all the stares the day before, and they weren’t because people were intimidated.  
  
Despite my broken arm, I managed to drive to school, to Alex’s house, and now back to school again. It was only quite dangerous when I tried to switch gears, but I had driven in worse conditions before. Apparently screaming ‘Jesus take the wheel’ and putting your hands up when you’re drunk out of your mind is dangerous. I don’t really see it. I mean, I didn’t crash, so that said something.  
  
When it was a more reasonable time for students to show up at school, I removed myself from the library and went over to my locker as if I had just walked in like the rest of them. Nobody really raised their head and noticed that I had been there for way longer. Alex, however, was quick to find me.  
  
“The fuck?” He glared at me and crossed his arms over his chest. “I came downstairs to find out that you already left! At first I was mad because I thought you left without me, but then I find out you left before I even woke up?! The fuck!”  
  
“Calm down,” I rolled my eyes a little, thinking it was a little funny how he was overreacting. “It’s not like I sneaked out of your room after we had sex.”  
  
“I know, but I was so confused that I couldn’t find you anywhere. I thought I dreamed about everything that happened last evening.”  
  
“Oh, come on, Alex. At least me being there did cause your mom to make both of us lunch,” I reasoned, trying to find something positive for him to look at.  
  
“And I appreciate that, but I really thought I had had some kind of dream.” He still tried to convince me of whatever he was feeling. “I was actually kind of disappointed until my mom told me you already left, that was when I started feeling betrayed.”  
  
“What, did you wake up before the kiss?” I smirked, amused with what was happening.  
  
“Well, if I recall correctly, there never even was--”  
  
I firmly pressed my lips against his in a chaste kiss to give him what was taken away from us before. It was quite a big step for me to show affection like this in public, especially since it was in school. That was why it didn’t last any longer than one second. Even with that short amount of time, I already felt like the _entire_ student body had seen it.  
  
“Anyway, my next class is on the other side of the building, so I’m going to start making my way there,” I told him and left to let him think about what I had just so randomly done.  
  
That night, I needed a different place to stay. I didn’t care where it was, as long as I didn’t have to go home. It wasn’t that I was afraid after kissing him, I just couldn’t stay at Alex’s for longer than I was welcomed. One night seemed like something acceptable, but I couldn’t stay there longer. Not only would my lies no longer work, but I would also be imposing. I thought it was pretty rude if I wanted to stay there longer. I know… Mickey Kingsley actually thinks something is rude, _what a surprise!_  
  
So, instead, I went to the one place I never wanted to go to again.  
  
I parked my car in front of what seemed to be one-story but actually had two ‘half stories’ (one story took up half of the house, the second was only raised a few feet and took up the other half, the two connected by a few steps), and hesitantly got out. Before I locked my car and went up to the front door, I reached into the back and grabbed the bag I had also taken with me when I was still at Alex’s. It was a simple overnight bag, and I had no idea how long I was going to stay here, but I had more than enough stuff in other bags to keep me going for a while.  
  
Once I was at the door, I took a deep breath and wondered if this really was the right option. Before I decided to change my mind and have the problem of not being able to go anywhere, I opened the door, knowing that it was unlocked and I could just walk in. As I stepped inside, it first seemed like nobody was home. However, when I listened carefully, I could hear the TV playing something. I looked to my left, just beyond the three-foot long wall, and into the living room part of the floor. There he was.  
  
“Hey… dad…” I tried putting on a smile, having to force the word out of my mouth. I could barely call him that, everything inside me tried to stop it from coming out. But if I wanted to stay here, I needed to push through the urge to throw up.  
  
He turned around and looked over the backrest of the single recliner in front of the small old TV. “Monica?” He laughed, looking me up and down. “I didn’t think your mother would want you to see me anymore.”  
  
“That isn’t true.” I shook my head and slowly put my bag down to show I wasn’t leaving. “She just doesn’t want me to see you when you’re drunk or high.”  
  
“Well, you’re in luck. I’m neither right now.” He turned back in his seat and stared at the pixelated screen once again.  
  
But I could see the three beer bottles surrounding the ashtray that was holding buds from more than one cigarette. I didn’t know if he had taken any drugs, but there was no way he could have been sober. If I was correct, I knew exactly what was going to happen in the next five minutes. I had most of my life to figure that out.  
  
Before he could even finish his sentence sounding like ‘pass me another--’, I was already stood next to him with another bottle of beer just taken from the fridge, already opened with the opener he had on the filthy table beside him. Just the fact that he used the word ‘another’ told me that those three beers had been consumed recently. I could just sense that he wasn’t going to move his ass from that recliner the entire evening.  
  
Knowing there was no point staying downstairs, I picked up my bag again and went up the stairs. Immediately to the right was the small bathroom, straight ahead was Michael's bedroom, and to the left was my old room. There was only one place for me to stay, and that was the room to my left. So, in I went.  
  
It looked exactly the same as how I had left it seven years before, not counting the night I should have stayed but drunkenly stumbled over to Alex's instead. The poster clippings and other random pink artifacts were still clinging to the walls, trying to hide away the disgusting cream color. My old white dresser was still pushed up against a wall, my pastel pink desk right next to it, only now neither had to hold any belongings. I would have expected Michael to have at least changed the bed so guests could come over, if they ever came over. But, no. It was still my twin-sized bed with a white headboard that I tried to decorate with flowers drawn in different types of pen. I guess you could say that was where my hobby of drawing tattoos started.  
  
Speaking of which, it was exactly what I did the entire time I was up in the room. I only went out once to go see if there was any food I could eat. Unfortunately, everything in the fridge was expired, and the two cabinets were empty except for a few things. It was just a better idea to sneak back up and act like I never came downstairs.  
  
But Michael, who was now surrounded by six bottles, noticed me before I could disappear up the steps and slurred, “hey, Monica! Maybe we could go out for ice cream or something tomorrow.”  
  
“Sure thing, dad… sure thing,” I sighed, knowing that it was just an empty promise. He had gotten my child-aged hopes up so often, only to not be there when I finished school. By now, I knew better than to believe what he told me.


	28. Chapter Twenty-eight: Get it Together

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
I should have known immediately. Why I didn’t think about it before was a mystery to me as well. It should have come to my mind straight away two days after Mickey had made an appearance at my house and somehow managed to worm her way into my mom’s heart.  
  
You might be wondering what I was referring to. Well, it all started during lunch that one day.  
  
 _We were all sat around our usual table, discussing whatever came to our minds; school, the band, things that had happened the day before, other random shit. I was too busy talking that I didn’t even notice Mickey sneakily taking bites of my lunch. She was picking pieces of whatever what was on my tray, the pieces being too small for me to really see. I didn’t even realize when I took bites myself. But then I caught her in the act.  
  
“Hey! **My** food!” I protectively brought my tray closer to me and saw that she had no food in front of her.  
  
She stared right into my eyes and reached out, picking up way more than she had initially been taking and stuffed it into her mouth. I let out another whine and tried to move it out of her reach even more.  
  
“Where is your lunch anyway?” Rian asked, picking up on the same thing I had.  
  
Mickey shrugged, still chewing on what she had stolen from me. “I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday’s lunch.”  
  
“What? That’s just stupid.” Jack shook his head disapprovingly at her. With how she had confidently said that she had nothing to eat, it almost sounded like she was doing it on purpose. It was something I would never have expected her to do.  
  
She rolled her eyes and reached into her bag, placing something on the table. “I have some stale marshmallows, but I don’t think that’s the best thing to eat.”  
  
The package, however, was still closed. I always saw her eating junk and trying it despite it being way over the expiration date, so why wasn’t she touching this? “How do you know they’re stale?”  
  
“Alex, they’re from 2002. What do you expect?” She deadpanned, turning the package around so show the date that was printed on it.  
  
“But your mom always has amazing food!” Rian argued, not understanding where this was all coming from. Even I didn’t get why the hell she had food from three years before with her.  
  
“I know,” Mickey nodded and pointed at what she brought with her, “but **I** have stale marshmallows.”  
  
I also knew that she probably didn’t have any money with her. Her parents didn’t trust her with it, so she never really got any. Apparently, things hadn’t gone so well in the past. I didn’t blame them, though. So, I sighed, “yeah, you’re not eating those. I’ll go buy something for you.”_  
  
That was strike two. The first strike obviously was her showing up at my house unannounced, expecting to be able to stay there for a night. I could have figured it all out then, she had given enough clues. I even bought her lunch every day. But, no. I only figured it out exactly a week later, also during lunch break.  
  
I walked into the cafeteria, already a few minutes late, going straight for the same old table. Luckily, Mickey was already there, because she was exactly the person I needed to talk to.  
  
I threw my bag on the table, glaring at her as I sat down. I caught everybody’s attention that was sat at the table or the tables surrounding it. “You didn’t tell me you were missing!”  
  
She frowned, shaking her head at me. “I’m right here.”  
  
“Your mom filed a missing person’s report and I was just interrogated by the principal _and_ police! Apparently, they think I know where the hell you are but just don’t want to tell them because you manipulated me or because I’m hopelessly in love with you.” Jack snorted as soon as the last part came out, causing me to glare at him as well. “We can laugh about that later. None of what they believe is true!”  
  
“Ok… but I’m _right_ here…” Mickey repeated.  
  
“Wait, what happened?” Rian interrupted, wanting some back story instead of me just complaining.  
  
“Well, apparently, Mickey disappeared from her room just over a week ago,” I elaborated vaguely, having to fight the urge to tell them about the argument that happened before as well. “She never came back and never said where she went.”  
  
“Yes, I understand. But how can I be missing when I’m right here?” Mickey continued to act like it was no big deal.  
  
“And in a few seconds, you’ll be at the principal’s office.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” she scoffed. “I avoid that place like it's the plague.”  
  
“If you don’t go, I’m going to be in a whole load of shit. And I don’t just mean getting told off, I mean getting into a shit load of trouble for lying to the police. I don’t care whatever shit you get yourself into, but I do not need that right now.” I tried convincing her that not doing anything was only going to make a mess of everything. It was true. I was told multiple times that bad things could happen if they found out I wasn’t telling the truth. For some reason, they didn’t think my truth was good enough.  
  
She looked at me for a little while, contemplating what to do. As I saw it, she only had two options. Either she was going to do what she thought was good for her and stay hiding away here, or she was going to push that aside and do what was right for me. I, of course, hoped it was the latter, it was also the right decision if it was just for her and I was out of the picture.  
  
“Fine,” she eventually said and reached down to grab her belongings.  
  
However, before she could leave, I also stood up. “I know you better than that. I’m not letting you go there by yourself.”  
  
“Cool.” She started leaving the cafeteria, expecting me to just follow to escort her.  
  
I quickly ran after her, not wanting to lose her in the large group of teenagers. Although she had bright red hair, she was pretty good at hiding in crowds. She wasn’t even that short, just a little shorter than most people at school. So, you can probably understand why I made sure she didn’t leave me eyesight. I only fully caught up once we were out in the hall.  
  
As I walked beside her, she ignored me completely. It was nothing like an awkward or possibly comfortable silence. She was purposely trying her best to walk a few feet away from me, always going further to the side when I got closer. Her head was turned away slightly, making sure she wouldn’t even look in my direction.  
  
And just like that, we were back to square one again.  
  
“You can be mad at me all you want.” I shrugged, no longer understanding her mood swings. If she wanted to kiss me one day and then hate me the next, that was her proble **Alex’s POV:  
**  
I should have known immediately. Why I didn’t think about it before was a mystery to me as well. It should have come to my mind straight away two days after Mickey had made an appearance at my house and somehow managed to worm her way into my mom’s heart.  
  
You might be wondering what I was referring to. Well, it all started during lunch that one day.  
  
 _We were all sat around our usual table, discussing whatever came to our minds; school, the band, things that had happened the day before, other random shit. I was too busy talking that I didn’t even notice Mickey sneakily taking bites of my lunch. She was picking pieces of whatever what was on my tray, the pieces being too small for me to really see. I didn’t even realize when I took bites myself. But then I caught her in the act.  
  
“Hey! **My** food!” I protectively brought my tray closer to me and saw that she had no food in front of her.  
  
She stared right into my eyes and reached out, picking up way more than she had initially been taking and stuffed it into her mouth. I let out another whine and tried to move it out of her reach even more.  
  
“Where is your lunch anyway?” Rian asked, picking up on the same thing I had.  
  
Mickey shrugged, still chewing on what she had stolen from me. “I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday’s lunch.”  
  
“What? That’s just stupid.” Jack shook his head disapprovingly at her. With how she had confidently said that she had nothing to eat, it almost sounded like she was doing it on purpose. It was something I would never have expected her to do.  
  
She rolled her eyes and reached into her bag, placing something on the table. “I have some stale marshmallows, but I don’t think that’s the best thing to eat.”  
  
The package, however, was still closed. I always saw her eating junk and trying it despite it being way over the expiration date, so why wasn’t she touching this? “How do you know they’re stale?”  
  
“Alex, they’re from 2002. What do you expect?” She deadpanned, turning the package around so show the date that was printed on it.  
  
“But your mom always has amazing food!” Rian argued, not understanding where this was all coming from. Even I didn’t get why the hell she had food from three years before with her.  
  
“I know,” Mickey nodded and pointed at what she brought with her, “but **I** have stale marshmallows.”  
  
I also knew that she probably didn’t have any money with her. Her parents didn’t trust her with it, so she never really got any. Apparently, things hadn’t gone so well in the past. I didn’t blame them, though. So, I sighed, “yeah, you’re not eating those. I’ll go buy something for you.”_  
  
That was strike two. The first strike obviously was her showing up at my house unannounced, expecting to be able to stay there for a night. I could have figured it all out then, she had given enough clues. I even bought her lunch every day. But, no. I only figured it out exactly a week later, also during lunch break.  
  
I walked into the cafeteria, already a few minutes late, going straight for the same old table. Luckily, Mickey was already there, because she was exactly the person I needed to talk to.  
  
I threw my bag on the table, glaring at her as I sat down. I caught everybody’s attention that was sat at the table or the tables surrounding it. “You didn’t tell me you were missing!”  
  
She frowned, shaking her head at me. “I’m right here.”  
  
“Your mom filed a missing person’s report and I was just interrogated by the principal _and_ police! Apparently, they think I know where the hell you are but just don’t want to tell them because you manipulated me or because I’m hopelessly in love with you.” Jack snorted as soon as the last part came out, causing me to glare at him as well. “We can laugh about that later. None of what they believe is true!”  
  
“Ok… but I’m _right_ here…” Mickey repeated.  
  
“Wait, what happened?” Rian interrupted, wanting some back story instead of me just complaining.  
  
“Well, apparently, Mickey disappeared from her room just over a week ago,” I elaborated vaguely, having to fight the urge to tell them about the argument that happened before as well. “She never came back and never said where she went.”  
  
“Yes, I understand. But how can I be missing when I’m right here?” Mickey continued to act like it was no big deal.  
  
“And in a few seconds, you’ll be at the principal’s office.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” she scoffed. “I avoid that place like it's the plague.”  
  
“If you don’t go, I’m going to be in a whole load of shit. And I don’t just mean getting told off, I mean getting into a shit load of trouble for lying to the police. I don’t care whatever shit you get yourself into, but I do not need that right now.” I tried convincing her that not doing anything was only going to make a mess of everything. It was true. I was told multiple times that bad things could happen if they found out I wasn’t telling the truth. For some reason, they didn’t think my truth was good enough.  
  
She looked at me for a little while, contemplating what to do. As I saw it, she only had two options. Either she was going to do what she thought was good for her and stay hiding away here, or she was going to push that aside and do what was right for me. I, of course, hoped it was the latter, it was also the right decision if it was just for her and I was out of the picture.  
  
“Fine,” she eventually said and reached down to grab her belongings.  
  
However, before she could leave, I also stood up. “I know you better than that. I’m not letting you go there by yourself.”  
  
“Cool.” She started leaving the cafeteria, expecting me to just follow to escort her.  
  
I quickly ran after her, not wanting to lose her in the large group of teenagers. Although she had bright red hair, she was pretty good at hiding in crowds. She wasn’t even that short, just a little shorter than most people at school. So, you can probably understand why I made sure she didn’t leave me eyesight. I only fully caught up once we were out in the hall.  
  
As I walked beside her, she ignored me completely. It was nothing like an awkward or possibly comfortable silence. She was purposely trying her best to walk a few feet away from me, always going further to the side when I got closer. Her head was turned away slightly, making sure she wouldn’t even look in my direction.  
  
And just like that, we were back to square one again.  
  
“You can be mad at me all you want.” I shrugged, no longer understanding her mood swings. If she wanted to kiss me one day and then hate me the next, that was her problem. “But I did not know you ran away from home. So, don’t blame this all on me now. _You’re_ the one that left and got yourself into the mess, _I_ was the one dragged along in it. You can’t keep doing shit like this.”  
  
She just hummed in response, acknowledging that she had heard me but didn’t care at all. Then again, what was I supposed to expect? I should have known by now that getting her to open up one day meant losing her the next.  
  
“I’m not just thinking about my own future, here,” I continued, still hopelessly and aimlessly trying to explain everything to her, “I’m also thinking about yours. Do you really think breaking all ties with your parents is a good idea? Do you really think running away in your senior year is going to do you any good? Don’t just think about the past. I can see that you’re mad, but will it help anything in the long run? There’s no point always being angry about everything.”  
  
“I’m not,” she snapped back. “I just don’t believe moving to another state will help me either. I’m finally in a place I don’t want to throw myself off a fucking bridge, and she wants to move away again because she constantly runs away from everything.”  
  
I wasn’t sure if it was just a figure of speech or if Mickey had had suicidal tendencies, but I was glad she didn’t feel that way about being here. Still, I didn’t think she was going about this the right way. “Have you at least tried talking to your mom instead of acting out?”  
  
“You probably don’t know my mother. There is no such thing as talking reasonably to each other.”  
  
“But do you?”  
  
“Know my mother? That’s the problem. I _don’t._ ” We stopped at the administration at the principal’s office. We didn’t even have to announce that we were here, they already knew exactly what was going on. “Now, do you have any more questions for me or can I go to my death sentence straight away?”  
  
While I really wanted to know what she meant with not knowing her own mom, there was another pressing question on my mind that I’d rather ask her. I could always come back to this later. “Yes. Where are you staying?”  
  
“Michael’s,” she said bluntly and walked into the office, slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
I had to keep telling myself that she wasn’t mad at me but at the situation. She wouldn’t have told me that stuff if I was the problem here.m. “But I did not know you ran away from home. So, don’t blame this all on me now. _You’re_ the one that left and got yourself into the mess, _I_ was the one dragged along in it. You can’t keep doing shit like this.”  
  
She just hummed in response, acknowledging that she had heard me but didn’t care at all. Then again, what was I supposed to expect? I should have known by now that getting her to open up one day meant losing her the next.  
  
“I’m not just thinking about my own future, here,” I continued, still hopelessly and aimlessly trying to explain everything to her, “I’m also thinking about yours. Do you really think breaking all ties with your parents is a good idea? Do you really think running away in your senior year is going to do you any good? Don’t just think about the past. I can see that you’re mad, but will it help anything in the long run? There’s no point always being angry about everything.”  
  
“I’m not,” she snapped back. “I just don’t believe moving to another state will help me either. I’m finally in a place I don’t want to throw myself off a fucking bridge, and she wants to move away again because she constantly runs away from everything.”  
  
I wasn’t sure if it was just a figure of speech or if Mickey had had suicidal tendencies, but I was glad she didn’t feel that way about being here. Still, I didn’t think she was going about this the right way. “Have you at least tried talking to your mom instead of acting out?”  
  
“You probably don’t know my mother. There is no such thing as talking reasonably to each other.”  
  
“But do you?”  
  
“Know my mother? That’s the problem. I _don’t._ ” We stopped at the administration at the principal’s office. We didn’t even have to announce that we were here, they already knew exactly what was going on. “Now, do you have any more questions for me or can I go to my death sentence straight away?”  
  
While I really wanted to know what she meant with not knowing her own mom, there was another pressing question on my mind that I’d rather ask her. I could always come back to this later. “Yes. Where are you staying?”  
  
“Michael’s,” she said bluntly and walked into the office, slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
I had to keep telling myself that she wasn’t mad at me but at the situation. She wouldn’t have told me that stuff if I was the problem here.


	29. Chapter Twenty-nine: A Fresh New Start

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
As soon as the door to the principal’s office slammed shut behind me, I walked straight to the open chair. Principal Adkins was sat in his usual desk chair, keeping his gaze on me as I moved through the room. My mom was slouched in the chair next to the one I was going to have to sit in while a middle-aged police guard was stood to the side.  
  
I winked at him and gave him finger guns before dropping my bag to the floor and sitting down. “What up?”  
  
“Mickey,” my mom sighed in what was supposed to be a scolding way, but only came out shaky as she nearly burst out into tears.  
  
“What y’all need me for?” I leaned back completely and put my feet up on the principal’s desk, nearly knocking over his coffee cup. He shouldn’t have put that there if he didn’t want it to get knocked over by somebody, it wasn’t my fault.  
  
Principal Adkins briefly looked at the soles of my shoes, but ignored them, instead focusing back on my face and he leaned forward and brought his hands together. “I think you know what’s been going on.”  
  
“Oh, right, yeah.” I nodded and grinned. “Alex told me that I was apparently missing, which makes _no_ sense. I’ve been here every day the entire day. How the hell can I be missing if I’ve been coming here all the time? To be missing I should be out in Nebraska or somewhere.”  
  
“You haven’t been home for ages!” My mom explained, looking exasperated yet also very tired. “You disappeared from your room! What do you expect?”  
  
“I’m nineteen, there’s no rule that forbids me from not living with you,” I snorted, shaking my head at her. “So, you can go move to whatever bullshit town you want to go next, but I’m staying here. Nothing’s stopping me.”  
  
“How about we talk this through and come up with a compromise?” The principal suggested, giving a short glance toward the policeman. I knew it was him telling the other that things could get rocky from here.  
  
I nearly started laughing. Did they really think they could reason with me? I had made my decision, there was nothing that would change my mind. “That’s absolute bullshit.”  
  
“Just please come home,” my mom whimpered, nearly begging me, as she wiped her eyes. Of course she was. She was trying to guilt trip me. That was most definitely going to work.  
  
“I’m just fine where I’m staying.”  
  
“Mickey, please.”  
  
“I think we’re done here,” I interrupted and put my feet back down, reaching out to get my bag again. “Can I go back now? Or are you guys going to disrupt my academics just for some petty conversation? There’re a thousand things more important than this.”  
  
“Just please let me ask one question.” This time she was actually begging, being supported by the two other authority figures in this room. I stopped for a while, waiting for her to continue. “Where have you been staying?”  
  
“At _dad’s,”_ I answered simply although calling Michael that still made me want to cringe. He would never be my father figure, but I knew that calling him one would hurt my mom. After changing my surname to ‘Kingsley’ and not wanting to do anything with that monster, I practically said that she and Garry were the only parents I had.  
  
Apparently it worked, because her face fell even more. “At… _dad’s…?_ Mickey… don’t go running back to him.”  
  
I shrugged, not feeling bad at all. “I mean, I did grow up there. I know where everything is, it’s my childhood home, he's never there either. It’s really not that different.”  
  
“Just--”  
  
“What? Are you going to tell me to come back with you, with my ‘family’? He’s the one family member I’ve known the longest, so don’t you dare use that bullshit family-card on me.” I could tell that she was going to try to defend her every action, but I wasn’t going to take that.  
  
“You know I couldn’t do anything about that. I lost custody over you, I couldn’t just fix that quickly,” she attempted to justify, just like I was expecting. So, as soon as the first four words left her mouth, I was stood up, with my bag hanging from one of my shoulders again.  
  
“Yeah, ten years seems like a reasonable amount of time,” I sarcastically snapped back and opened the door to let myself out.  
  
I promptly slammed the door shut so nobody could easily follow me and stormed out of the administration office. I knew the same woman who had given me my timetable on the first day was staring at me in shock as I stomped past, but I couldn’t give a fuck about what other people were thinking. There was only one thing on my mind, and that was that I needed to get out of here.  
  
Alex was waiting at the lockers opposite of the glass door I came out of, but even _he_ didn’t matter anymore either. In just a few minutes, I was going to have left this place. Even his bright smile that turned into a frown didn’t make me hesitate. I rushed past him as well, going straight for the doors that lead to the parking lot. I didn’t even care that anybody who wanted to see me could see me leave. Skipping class wasn’t anything unusual, the only surprise they were going to get was that I wasn’t going to be coming back that following Monday.  
  
“Mickey!” Alex shouted after me after I had managed to open the door and enter the calming mid-October air. “Mickey, _wait!”_  
  
I ignored him completely and bee-lined it to my car. With my keys in the front pocket of my backpack, I managed to unlock the vehicle in no time. My bag was thrown onto the back seats while I got into the driver’s side myself. I reached over myself to put on my seatbelt and put my keys into the ignition, nearly believing I was ready to leave. There was just one more thing to do. But before I could get to that--literally _get_ to it--the passenger side opened and Alex climbed in.  
  
I gave him an unemotional glare, waiting for him to catch on. “Get out.”  
  
“No,” he scoffed and shook his head. “Where the hell are you going?”  
  
“I don’t know, now get out.” I continued to stare at him, occasionally glancing outside the window to emphasize my point.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Fine, suit yourself.” I shrugged and leaned over his body, taking the entire length of my seat belt.  
  
He shuffled further back into the seat uncomfortably, making me roll my eyes. Did he really think I was going to give him a blowjob at a time like this while in the school parking lot? Even I wasn’t that stupid. I had to bite back a remark, deciding I was just going to keep ignoring him if he continued to get in my way, and pulled out a book containing many maps from all around the states.  
  
After moving back into my seat fully, I opened it up to the first page where there was a map of all the states. I closed my eyes and randomly placed my finger somewhere on the page. Once I went to check where I had landed, I nearly groaned.  
  
“No, not Texas,” I whispered under my breath to myself, “too many annoying family members.”  
  
I repeated the process, this time selecting a completely different area. When I found my finger right on Des Moines, Iowa, I was content. I had never lived there before, so there was nobody to irritate the fuck out of me. Despite having accused my mom of always running away from her problems, I decided I needed my own fresh start. As much as I had liked it, I couldn’t spend any more time here.  
  
After flipping to a page showing the east, I kept the page open with my left hand and used the other to open the glove compartment. Although it was full of weird shit, I knew exactly where to find the sharpie. Once I had it in my hand, I clicked the compartment shut again and opened the pen with my teeth. Finding out where about we were now, I traced the highways I was going to have to take. I could always open the map for Iowa later when I was further.  
  
Since I did first have to go somewhere else, I shut the book with a loud thump and threw it on what I still considered an empty passenger seat. Alex yelped out an ‘ouch’, the point of the spine having hit him right on the thigh. I didn’t feel any remorse for my actions. If he didn’t want to get hurt, then he should have gotten out of the car.  
  
I turned my keys in the ignition and put the car in reverse, speeding out of the parking lot.  
  
“Woah, woah!” Alex clutched the sides of the seat as he stared at me. “Where the hell are we going?”  
  
“We? You mean me? ‘Cause you’re getting out right now.” I promptly braked before I actually got on the road, making us both fly forward until our seatbelts stopped us.  
  
“The hell I am!” He crossed his arms, still waiting for me to answer his original question.  
  
I breathed out loudly and started driving again, swerving to take a left. Other people were so lucky that they weren’t on the road as I was driving to my destination, there would have been so many accidents. It just happened to be in between busy hours; everybody was at work or at school. Only the occasional car was going in the opposite direction.  
  
As soon as we were at Michael’s house, I took my keys out of the ignition and went to the front door. Despite it being obvious that he wasn’t home, I opened the door without needing any keys. It wasn’t like there was anything obviously valuable inside the house. Plus, he often came back too drunk to fit the key inside the lock. It was just easier for him this way, so also easier for me.  
  
Except, Alex decided to follow me again. I ignored the fact that there were two broken beer bottles beside the table next to the recliner, I ignored the single dirty dish in the sink, I just plainly ignored the empty mess there was and went to my bedroom instead. I wasn’t there to stay though. All I needed was to collect all my belongings again. Luckily, I hadn’t unpacked anything and only needed to stuff the stuff I had worn into one single plastic bag. However, once that was done, I picked up everything in one go and rushed back to the car, only stopping to grab a stash of cash behind the empty expired cereal boxes in a broken kitchen cabinet.  
  
Alex was stood in the middle of the downstairs floor, taking in his surroundings. He looked at me sadly as I went past and threw all my stuff in the back of my truck, not caring that everything would get wet if it started raining or that anybody could easily steal it. When I went to close the front door again, Alex was already doing it. While he was stood there, I took my chance to try and shake him off by getting into my car and driving off before he could get in. But he knew exactly what I was planning. I had never seen him sprint so fast, he went even faster than that one time my car broke down in the rain and he forced me to get ice cream with him.  
  
He managed to get in before I could even lock my doors.  
  
“Alex, get the fuck out!” I screamed, gripping my steering wheel tightly. “Go home, go back to school, I don’t care. Just fucking _leave!”_  
  
“Why do you want me to leave so badly?” He shook his head at me.  
  
“I don’t want you here!”  
  
“Me listening to you saying that hasn’t gotten me this far. I sure as hell am not giving up now.”  
  
“Alex, _leave,”_ I urged as I saw the beat up Toyota come down the road in the rearview mirror. If he was going to make me wait any longer, everything was going to go wrong. My whole non-thought-through plan would go in the gutter.  
  
He just sat there and put his seatbelt back on, staring out in front of him. Before I could force him out, the old car passed me and went up the driveway to my left. I tried to get my car to start, but the engine kept stalling. Whenever I wanted to get out of there quickly, it always decided to fail me. The only thing I could do was make sure the doors were locked by now. Michael got out of his car, a cigarette in his mouth, and came toward my car.  
  
He was furious as he screamed, “Mickey, what the hell are you doing out of school?! Get your ass back there! Are you fucking trying to fail again?!”  
  
Before he could finish his rant, I finally got my car to start and sped off. As soon as I had left the neighborhood, I turned on the radio as loud as possible when I realized that the only actual sound in the car was the engine. With it at nearly full volume, Alex also couldn’t talk to me anymore. Although I knew that I had to give him one last chance to get out and turn around, I was too annoyed to pull over and go through the same thing again. It was his fault that he had to follow me, now he was finally getting the consequences.  
  
And just like that, I started my way towards interstate 70.


	30. Chapter Thirty: Miles Away

**Alex's POV:**  
  
I still had no clue where Mickey was going. I could have looked through her maps to try and find the page, but even I knew that that was an impossible task. She was determined, though, and was set on ignoring me completely. Because I was literally just sitting there doing nothing, I eventually dozed off. I wasn’t trying to fall asleep, I was actually trying to stay aware to figure out where we were going based on the signs. But things weren’t that easy. I didn’t even notice I had fallen asleep until I woke up.  
  
Well, we definitely weren’t driving anymore. But I was in a parked car in a dark parking lot with no sign of Mickey.  
  
I started to freak out, not knowing where she had gone or where I was. Of course, I had my phone with me if things really were going wrong, but that wasn’t what was going through my mind at the moment. All I knew was that I was in a strange place and that the girl I came here with disappeared. Who knew what could have happened to her? Was she really planning on disappearing and just leaving me out here to fend for myself?  
  
Before I drove myself to an inevitable panic, I tried the door handle. I sighed in relief when the door easily popped open and I could step out without anything trying to keep me in the car. It was only then that I actually took a proper look at my surroundings. Yes, I was in a parking lot, we knew that. But it wasn’t just a parking lot in the middle of nowhere. It was surrounded by a cream motel, only one side open to the road.  
  
Mickey could be in any of these rooms. How the hell was I going to find her? I could hardly go knocking on every door. Who knew who was behind those doors? It wasn’t like I wouldn’t have done it if there was no other way, but I remembered there probably was a reception that could easily help me out. So, I went to the only place that looked like it could possibly be the reception. If the sign wasn’t what gave it away, then it definitely was the large windows and the only bright light that was on in the place.  
  
I was trying to practice what I was going to say to whoever was at the desk. Not only was I planning what I’d initially say but also what I’d say if they told me they couldn’t say anything. There wasn’t much coming up in my mind other than being a whiny bitch, but I could always try it out.  
  
However, once I entered, none of what I was imagining was going to be relevant. Mickey was still stood there trying to get a room. Maybe I hadn’t woken up much later than she had stopped here. Or she was already standing here for a very long like. All I cared, though, was that I had found her again.  
  
“Ok, so that’s one person, then?” The middle-aged woman behind the counter doubled checked with Mickey.  
  
Before she could answer and confirm, I interjected with one simple word that I found coming out of my mouth more often than not, “Mickey.”  
  
“Oh, great,” she groaned as she saw me, but turned back to the woman without giving me any further acknowledgment. “Just one person.”  
  
The woman briefly looked at me and then back at Mickey. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
I know that my next move was very drastic and that there possibly was another calmer approach I could have taken, but honestly… I was too fed up and tired for that. So, I walked right up to the desk and sighed. “She’s running away from home. I’d call the cops if I were you.”  
  
Yes, once again, I know. I had told Rian before to never involve the cops if it was about Mickey. But this was the only way. She wouldn’t listen to anybody. This was the only way to force her to reason. And the woman seemed to believe me without another word because her hand sneakily reached out to the landline.  
  
“Umm, no.” Mickey shook her head. “I’m moving out of state, not running away. There’s a big difference.”  
  
“Well, you disappeared from your house a week ago. You haven’t told anybody where you’re going now. You’re running away from home.”  
  
“Oh, I see.” Mickey squinted her eyes at me, her look telling me she had a plan. “But what I’m doing is completely legal. As an adult, I get to move wherever my heart desires.”  
  
“I’d like to see some ID, please,” the woman requested, now confused about the whole ordeal.  
  
So, Mickey reached into her bag and pulled out her driver’s license, handing it over the counter. The woman took it and started inspecting it very closely to see if it could be fake. Mickey did look a little younger than she was with that bright hair of her’s, so it didn’t surprise me at all. I also would have been skeptical.  
  
“Oh, my god,” Mickey grumbled, reaching into the same pocket once again, “it’s _not_ fake! Here’s my driver’s license from when I was 16, same birth date. And here’s my passport, same exact thing. Do you really think I would go to that extent? He’s a minor, though. I’d call the cops on him.”  
  
“Um, excuse me!” I gasped, not fully registering how in the world she had managed to twist this around. “You’re the one that drove while I was in your car. You practically kidnapped me!”  
  
“You’re the one that got into the car in the first place! I told you to get out.”  
  
“That’s how kidnapping often works. Ever heard of the old candy trick? Kid get’s in truck, truck drives off?”  
  
Mickey glared at me before letting out a deep breath, putting on a smile, and turned back to the woman. “Room for two please.”  
  
However, the woman's hand was still hovering over the phone, now completely unsure what to do. Mickey had gotten her IDs back, but that was all. We put up quite the scene. I would've been confused myself. There were multiple scenarios. She could call the cops, causing us to run away; she could call the cops and have them actually help us; she could leave it be and have something horrible happen to us later on and she’d feel guilty; she could let us stay the night and secretly call the cops as soon as we left the office.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll drive back home tomorrow,” Mickey told her with a wave of the hand. “It’s too late to go back now. Don’t want me falling asleep at the wheel, do you?”  
  
The woman decided to nod and grab one of the keys on the hooks. She proceeded to tell Mickey the price, which wasn’t high at all but I still expected Mickey to be annoyed with the cost. However, she just reached into the same bag again and pulled out a stack of bills, paying the exact price. I felt a little bad, like I had to pay half the amount or at least chip in something, but I didn’t have much more than two dollars with me. While Mickey was prepared for this entire journey, I had no clue that we were even leaving town.  
  
So, after that was all done, Mickey started her way to the room, barely taking her time to look around at things other than the room numbers. She didn’t say a word as she found the room on the ground floor and entered. I was the one that had to close the door and lock it since she was already in the middle of the room when I took my first step inside.  
  
“Ok, so here’s what’s going to happen,” she said, glancing at the one single bed instead of me, “tomorrow morning you’re going to get a cab back home and I’m going to continue.”  
  
“I think the _hell_ not!” I shook my head at her, getting close to losing my temper. Was she really going to insist on leaving?  
  
“Ok, well you aren’t coming with me. You need to go home.”  
  
I nearly snorted at her. I couldn’t believe she dared to tell me that I needed to go home while she was the one running away. “The only way you can get me to go home is by driving me there yourself and bringing yourself home as well.”  
  
“Alex, please,” she groaned, kicking her shoes off.  
  
“No, I’m not going to let you do this anymore. Just hours ago you were telling me how your mom always runs away from her problems and that moving to another state wouldn’t do you any good. Look what you’re doing now! You’re doing exactly what you got mad about. You’re such a hypocrite. You need to get your shit together.” I decided to just tell her upright this time. All my past attempts that consisted of me reasoning a little more with her hadn’t worked, so I wasn’t going to beat around the bush and I wasn’t going to try to use nice words. She didn’t speak like that herself either.  
  
“Oh, _I’m_ a hypocrite.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.  
  
“Yes. Do you have anything to prove me wrong or show that I am one too?”  
  
She went to answer me, but nothing came out of her. She just stood there, her mouth opened just a little as she thought of something. Just like I expected. So, I continued with my rant-slash-hopeful-convincing, “ _Exactly_. So, it’s time for you to go about this differently. Right now you’re doing what everybody expects from you. Although your mom is super upset right now, she knows that this is how you act. You always behave this way, you never do anything different. You were getting mad at your mom ‘cause she wanted to move away again because of what happened. You were the one against it, but now you’re doing it as well. You aren’t any better than her. What would make you way better than anybody else here is if you do the unexpected. Everybody thinks you’re just going to disappear and never return. But if you go back now, talk to her like the adult you say you are, and stop being a whiny bitch that always needs it her way, you’ll throw her off. She’ll be the one that seems like she can’t deal with anything. You have to tell her that you want to stay and that she can’t just force you to move because she’s too afraid of what happened. Right now all you’re doing is what she wants but in a way that hurts her. You can be way better than that.”  
  
She continued to just stare at me for a little while longer, her breathing slowly raising her shoulders and chest up and back down. I didn’t know if she was agreeing with me or disagreeing, understanding me or not. Hell, I didn’t even know if she had listened to it all.  
  
“Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re being reasonable,” she growled through gritted teeth and stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind herself and locking it.  
  
“What?” I mumbled to myself, trying to make sense of what just happened.  
  
On one hand, she didn’t talk back. On the other, I didn’t know what she thought of what I said. She did, however, say I was hot, which was nice but… _unexpected_ …  
  
I hadn’t been able to move from where I had been standing out of shock when she came out a short while later. She was holding a pile of clothing consisting of her jeans and bra--meaning she was only wearing her t-shirt and underwear--her hair was up in a bun, and her makeup was removed except for some residue black hinting underneath her eyes. After putting the clothes on the chair in the room, she walked past the light switch and flipped it. I watched her climb into the far side of the bed as my feet were still glued to the ground.  
  
“Goodnight, Alex.” I heard her say after she got comfortable.  
  
Once I finally got myself to move again, I walked to the empty side of the bed and just looked at it. “I’m so confused right now.”  
  
“Just go to sleep.”  
  
“Ok…” I started by taking off my shoes and my hoodie, working on my jeans when another thought came to my mind. “Wait, did you lock the car? And what about the stuff you put in the back?”  
  
“Moved it all to the backseat while you were sleeping and locked it on the way here. As far as I know, all the locks should still be functioning through remote control,” she explained and insisted, “Now, go to sleep.”  
  
“About that…” I started again despite her requests as I stripped down completely to my boxers. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
  
“You looked peaceful,” she muttered, but her voice started to contain a hint of annoyance again as I was getting into bed. “Now shut up. You got to sleep for five hours, I didn’t.”  
  
I froze up before I could get underneath the covers completely. “ _Five_ hours?! Mickey, where the hell _are_ we?!”  
  
“Just inside Ohio, an hour or so away from Cleveland.”  
  
“Ohio!”  
  
“Alex, I swear to god, if you don’t fucking shut up right now, I will tape your fucking mouth shut and punch you in the fucking dick.”  
  
“Ok, ok, sorry,” I apologized in a whisper and laid down. Although the shock was most definitely still coursing through my body, I didn’t say another word and shut my eyes.


	31. Chapter Thirty-one: Stalling Over and Over Again

**Mickey’s POV:**

The next morning, I tried to stay as quiet as possible. When I woke up, I nearly had a heart attack. Rather that awaking to find myself still turned away, I found myself turned toward Alex. That wasn’t the problem, though. The problem was that my head was on his shoulder as I was lying on my stomach, one arm loosely hanging over his chest while his arm was wrapped around me. Of course, I had a slight panic attack, but this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Although all we did was sleep, usually I liked to leave right after a one night stand, other times I did fall asleep. Those other times often meant I was stuck in the grasp of some disgusting sweaty guy. By now I knew all the tricks. This time I also managed to worm myself away, trying my best not to shake Alex too much. He just slept through the whole thing.

But since my movement must have at least made his sleep a little lighter, I still had to be super careful when I slipped away to the bathroom. Despite knowing that the sound of running water was going to officially wake him, I turned on the shower and stepped in while trying my best not to get my cast wet. I never was the person to take long showers, so it didn’t really matter to me that I was trying to do wash myself as fast as possible. However, after drying myself off--not caring that the towel got stained a little by my hair--and putting on my clothes, I left the bathroom as saw Alex still fast asleep. That boy really was a teenager that could sleep through anything.

I didn’t really care, though. It was my entire goal not to wake him. So, goal achieved.

I sat down on the one single chair in the room and put on my shoes, not wanting to risk losing my balance and falling to the floor. As you could have already guessed, it didn’t wake Alex up either. So, I quickly grabbed my wallet and keys and walked to the door. It was all done now, so there was no need to be careful anymore. Plus, it wasn’t like unlocking the door would make any sound that could wake anybody up.

I couldn’t be more wrong.

Although I was pretty sure Alex just woke up naturally and it wasn’t the noise I was making, he did wake up. Yes, I know. _Such_ a surprise. He groaned a little as he tried to get used to the light coming through the curtains I had opened slightly so I wouldn’t have to turn the light on. I just stood there as still as possible. It wasn’t like that was going to make anything better, though.

Once he noticed I was no longer beside him, his eyes shot open and immediately landed on me. “Where the hell do you think you’re going? Are you seriously just going to leave me here? What the _fuck_ , Mickey?!”

I frowned back at him, not liking that he was jumping to such conclusions. “I was going to get breakfast… When we drove here, I saw a diner down the road.”

“Without me?” He gasped, both accusing me of lying but also offended that I wouldn’t wake him for breakfast.

“I was going to get something to bring back and eat here with you,” I told him as if it was super obvious.

The weird thing? It _was_ the truth. My sneaky actions might have made it seem like I was trying to leave before he would wake up, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I really was planning on letting him sleep and have breakfast ready when he did wake up before we had to leave again. Was that really not expected from me? Yes, I usually left. But this was different.

“Yeah, right.” Alex shook his head a little and got out of bed. “I’m coming with you now.”

I shrugged even though it meant I would have to wait even longer for a proper meal again. “Suit yourself. Just one thing, I’m not going to sit in a car with you for another six hours without you having showered.”

“Ok, so I’ll go shower.” He yawned and ran his fingers through his tangled messy bed hair.

“Oh, and I might have a change of shirt for you in my car, but I can’t promise anything.”

“In your car? Hmm.” He eyed me. I could already tell this was going to be a long morning since he didn’t believe a word I said anymore. I couldn’t blame him, though.

“Look, I’ll leave my wallet here.” I placed it on the desk and raised my hand up in defense. “It contains most of the money and my driver's license. I would leave my keys here, but I can’t open the car without them. You trust me now?”

“Fine.” He gave me one last look before turning into the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

I would lie if I said I didn’t check him out briefly before I ran out of the door and to my car. What I did lie about, however, was the fact that the money was in my wallet. There was enough for breakfast in there, but everything else was in my backpack… which happened to be in the room as well. Anyway, I opened the door to the back seats and started rummaging through all the bags. I was sure I had some guy’s shirt in here. I could even picture the way it looked. Eventually, I found the Blink-182 shirt I was looking for at the bottom of one of the plastic shopping bags.

With the shirt in my hand, I locked my car again and walked back toward our hotel room. Luckily, I also had the room key in my hand as I tried to leave quietly, so I didn’t have to worry about not being able to get back. When I entered the room, the shower was still running. Deciding not to just invade Alex’s privacy--knowing that I would get so mad if he walked in while I was showering--I just sat down on the unmade bed, waiting for him to get out.

I just stared at the wall the few minutes it took him to finish washing himself and drying himself off. A short while longer, he was out of the steamy room wearing all his clothes except his shirt. When his eyes landed on me, a smile crept up on his face. I smiled back a little bit to show him that I really wasn’t planning on just leaving without him. I knew I had to go home and fix all this. So, just like I had promised, I held out the shirt for him to grab.

He took the shirt and thanked me before asking, “wait, why do you have a guy’s t-shirt? I thought you didn’t get attached.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not from a past ‘lover’,” I laughed back and stood back up as he put it on.

“So you just have some random shirt that fits me?”

“No, I know exactly whose it is. They just aren’t somebody I ever had any kind of relationship with,” I clarified very vaguely. “I also need you to give it back to me later, because I can’t be held accountable for the shirt getting lost.”

“So, the guy… a best friend?”

“Not exactly, but I guess you can say that.” I nodded and grabbed the backpack I now no longer was going to need to leave behind. If anything, Alex and I could grab breakfast and be on the road again straight after.

“I’m sensing that you don’t want to talk about it. So, I’m just going to shut up.” Alex followed me out of the room, not needing to take anything with him other than the t-shirt he wore the day before since everything else was left behind in the car.

“Let’s just get breakfast, shall we?” I suggested instead and locked the door behind us.

We decided to walk to the diner since it literally was just across the street. For once, I didn’t mind Alex walking right next to me. Occasionally, our arms would brush against each other, but that was what it stayed at. Neither of us took it a step further… _if_ there was a step further to take. Honestly, I had no idea how this all worked. I was good at sweet talking guys into sleeping with me, but that was all. I couldn’t do anything else.

So, yes. I wanted to do something, but didn’t know how. I technically did make the first move with kissing him at school and all… now it was his turn even if it was only because I was clueless.

“Ok, so our budget is 20 bucks.” I laid out the money on the table after Alex and I had gotten two menus. “The rest will have to go to gas since we won’t get much further out than a few miles with the fuel in that rusty-ass piece of shit now. I know it’s not much, so maybe we should just choose the largest breakfast we can find on here and share it?”

“I’m not sure if I trust you with sharing food.” Alex peaked over his menu and squinted his eyes at me.

“I’m not sure if I trust you,” I retorted, raising one eyebrow at him.

He slowly lowered the menu, showing off the bright smile he was wearing. He pointed to something as soon as he put the menu on the table. “Let’s get the waffles and pancakes with bacon. Can’t go wrong with that.”

I nodded, looking over it again. “And we have enough to get a milkshake each!”

“Deal.”

And so, that exactly what we did. We shared that damn breakfast like our lives depended on it. Literally, all we did was split it in half and each ate it before we decided that I would eat the waffles and he could have the pancakes. It worked out for both of us. The bacon, however was a whole different story. It was just a fight about the last piece, trying to get the other distracted so we could take it. Eventually, however, we had to cut it in half too. I wasn’t going to eat less just because I was eating with a guy.

After finishing the food, both of us feeling sick from stuffing our mouths, it was time to hit the road again. I handed the key back to the reception, a little relieved to see somebody else at the desk this time, and went back to my car where Alex was leaning against the hood and was waiting for me.

“Let’s hit the road,” I sighed, really not feeling like driving for at least another five hours.

However, Alex grabbed the keys from my hand and shook his head. “How about I drive? You still have that broken arm and you drove yesterday.”

“Well, that’s because there wasn’t really another choice,” I rolled my eyes playfully.

“Now there is, so…”

“And there’s no way you can drive old Clifford here. I’m pretty sure the pedals are on the verge of breaking.” I carefully tapped the side of my car which had its red paint chipping off everywhere.

“Clifford?” Alex asked, unlocking the car and quickly putting his hand on the driver’s door handle to show that he wasn’t changing his mind.

“Yeah, based on Clifford the Big Red Dog. My dad started calling it ‘Clifford the Big Red Car’ back when it was still a decent vehicle.” I refused to move to the passenger side.

“Clifford the… _what?”_ He hopped in and sat down.

“The books! It’s my childhood in just images and words!” I gasped, nearly offended that he didn’t know about the amazing books. As a kid, I always imagined getting my own huge dog that would be my best friend and take me away.

“Ok, Ok. Just get in, will ya?” Alex ordered as he started closing the door.

“I would, but you’re sitting in my seat.” I crossed my arms, keeping my feet grounded.

“Just get in,” he repeated with a laugh, pointing at the passenger door.

I sighed and did as he asked. It didn’t matter what I did, in the end I would be the one driving anyway. Nobody knew how to drive my car. It had broken down so often that things just didn’t work as they were supposed to. I just had had the time to find a way that worked. Anybody that wasn’t used to it would get so lost.

And, just as expected, as Alex tried to get out of the parking spot--I had reversed into the spot the night before--he managed to stall the car. He just acted like nothing happened and retried, only for the engine to give out again. Second time, he let out an awkward chuckle, turning the keys and trying to drive off for the third time. You can probably guess what happened.

I snorted a little as he whispered profanities under his breath. “Hold the clutch for way longer than you’re used to and give a shit load of gas. Don’t worry about giving too much. Just don’t do it for too long, or you’ll speed off or make the engine rev.”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” He shook his head at me and tried his method again. We had only moved a couple of inches before he fucked up.

“Clutch,” I instructed and waited for him to press it down fully. “Now gas and only lift the clutch like a tiny tiny bit,” I told him next and watched exactly what he was doing with his feet. “Now, shit load of gas, just go for it.” He nearly floored the gas, which was a bit more than what I meant, but nothing but some revving happened. “Ok, ok. Clutch up… and bring back the gas!” I could see him stressing out a little, but then we started moving forward.

“Oh my god! I did it!” Alex exclaimed happily and started driving toward the exit.

“And now do that every single time you stop.” I grinned back mockingly.

“Oh, fuck,” he grumbled as he approached the stop sign.

The car suddenly braked abruptly, causing us to fly forward a little despite having such a low speed.

“I was just about to say to be careful with the break…” I groaned, rubbing my neck where the seatbelt tried to decapitate me. “There’s a sweet spot for that as well. Not far enough has no effect, too much makes it stop too suddenly. Oh, and the third gear is kinda difficult to get into. Just use a lot of momentum. Other than that, just double check that the turn signals are on, you need to press them down until you can't do so anymore. I believe that’s it.”

“Ok…” He nodded, looking at everything again. “I think I got this.”

He insisted on driving, so I let him. Despite him trying so hard, I still thought it was pretty funny. Of course, he fucked up so often. We got so many angry cars behind us honking their horns at green lights. I would just shout back at them until Alex figured it out again. At least it kept the car ride entertaining. It did, however, get a little annoying when we stopped to get gas. He just couldn't leave the place anymore. It took everything in me not to shout at him, but I just patiently waited.

He only got a hang of it when we were nearly home.


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two: Lemme Impress You

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
Although I tried to put up a tough front in front of Mickey, I was so relieved when I saw her house in the distance. It was stressful and tiring to drive her car. Usually, I thought driving around was pretty relaxing, but this was terrifying. I was so scared of braking abruptly on the highway and the angry drivers behind me when I couldn’t start up didn’t help at all. It made the job so much more difficult. But I wanted to do it. I wasn’t going to give in.  
  
At first, I wanted to drive so that Mickey could rest a little. I had slept the whole drive the day before, so I thought she deserved it. Of course, she didn’t close her eyes for much longer than to blink. I mean, how could she? First, she had to constantly instruct me how to use the car, and then she was the one giving me directions. I knew my way around Baltimore, but I didn’t know how to get there all the way from Ohio. O- _fucking_ -hio! I still couldn’t believe she had actually gone all the way there, not caring that I was in the seat next to her.  
  
I sighed out contently after I had parked the car in the driveway and had taken the keys out of the ignition. Somehow, I had managed to drive us all the way without getting a scratch. For the longest time, I had believed that there was more chance that I fatally crashed the car than there being no chance. I probably shouldn’t have been driving with that mentality, but I did it.  
  
“Home sweet home…” Mickey mumbled as she looked at the house through the windshield before getting out of the car.  
  
I followed her lead toward the front door, thinking about possibly already taking some of her bags with me. But since she didn’t and I didn’t want to risk getting shit for touching things, I left it all in the car. As soon as we were in front of the wooden door, I waited for Mickey to open it. But she just stood there, staring at it as if something had happened.  
  
“You can do this…” I softly encouraged her. She had gotten so far, she couldn’t turn back now. I was there to make sure she’d keep going.  
  
She shook her head and looked at me. “No… that’s not it. I don’t have a key. It’s locked and I don’t have a key. I never took it with me.”  
  
“Shit,” I whispered. “Maybe we could go to Rian for the time being, maybe they even have a spare key? Or we could go to my house?”  
  
Once again, she shook her head, but this time she pushed past me and walked along the front of the house. “No, no… we should be able to…”  
  
Eventually, she stopped and looked up. I knew exactly what her plan was. She was going to get in the way she had gotten out. I caught up with her, looking in the same direction as her to see her bedroom window. If she got in that way, she could open the door from the inside. So, she walked up to the ledge that was all too familiar to her and raised her right arm up. But then, she froze up again.  
  
“Umm… Alex?” She turned on her heel to face me and waved around her left arm with its cast still on it. “Could you…?”  
  
My eyes widened as I realized she wanted me to climb up on the roof and sneak inside. I swallow and slowly took her place. “O--okay.”  
  
She proceeded to guide me through the steps she took whenever she climbed up. I tried to follow her instructions as closely as possible, not wanting to lose my footing and plummet to the ground like she had done when she had gotten that broken arm in the first place. Eventually, I was up on the roof. I thought that the most difficult part had been done, but I was so wrong.  
  
“Okay, now be super careful,” Mickey warned me as she moved back a little bit to see better. “If you slip there is nothing you can catch yourself on safely. The roof tiles not against the wall but just off are the most slippery. So, try to avoid them. Just confidently step toward the window. If you start being too careful, you’ll most likely fall.”  
  
“Nice to know,” I grumbled, too focused on not losing my balance to be having a conversation.  
  
I did as she told me, taking the few steps to the window. However, I might have gotten a little overconfident. My right foot slipped a little and I overcompensated. I started falling forward and I braced myself for impact. Mickey let out a shriek when she saw what was happening. But before I could hit the roof, I was close enough to grab the window sill.  
  
“Oh my god,” I gasped, able to hear my heartbeat and feel it pounding in my chest. “The things I do to _impress_ a girl! … And I just said that out loud, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yeah.” Mickey squinted and nodded before pointing at the window. “You should just be able to open it. It slides up.”  
  
“Okay,” I breathed out, trying to hide my embarrassment. I let my fingers curl around the ledge and tried pushing the window up. But it wouldn’t budge. “Mickey, it’s not opening.”  
  
“Oh, fuck. Is it locked?” She asked, but I had no clue how I could tell other than that it didn’t want to open. “If the hook is in the hole, it’s locked.”  
  
“I don’t see a hook,” I replied. “I only see some white sort of lock for a key.”  
  
“Are you fucking with me!” She groaned and threw her head back. “They put on an extra lock! Seriously! Are they trying to make sure I don’t come home or something?!”  
  
“I think it may be because they are trying to make sure you don’t leave home or something,” I retorted, starting to panic about where I was standing.  
  
If I made the wrong movement, I was going to hit the floor. I didn’t sign up for this. I at least expected to be able to get to safety after I climbed up. But, no! Now I was going to have to get down as well? Maybe if Mickey herself hadn’t broken a bone, I wouldn’t have been so scared. There was no way out of here!  
  
Mickey decided to ignore my remark, probably sensing my nerves. “Ok, Alex. I’ll be here to catch you if you fall, even if it means ruining my arm completely. You have two options. My parents’ window is open a tiny bit, you can try to climb over there and open it, but I myself have never done that before so I won’t be able to help much. Or you can climb down, but that requires some skill as well. Either way, I’ll stand below you.”  
  
I just stood there looking to my left and back to my right. To my left, I could get back down to the ground but that was just a ten-foot drop. Mickey knew the places she could place her feet along the gutter, but it was likely they wouldn’t work for me. Then to my right, the small part of the roof I was standing on ended just a few feet before the other window that was open. Both ways were dangerous, I just needed to know which one I was willing to risk more.  
  
“Look, Alex. I’m not sure if this will work.” Mickey tried helping me make a decision. “But you can try hanging off the gutter over here and I’ll help you down the last few feet. I don’t know if it will hold, but I will catch you. You don’t need to go the other way. We can even go to Rian’s.”  
  
Although it sounded very tempting, I had already made up my mind. Taking one last deep breath to encourage myself, I started going to the right. Keeping one hand against the wall as I shuffled over to the end of the roof closest to the window of the other bedroom. I just tried to keep both my footing and breathing steady as I heard Mickey say something before rushing over to follow me step by step but on the ground. She really wasn’t kidding about catching me if I fell down. I wasn’t so sure about catching, though. It was more me falling on top of her.  
  
I wasn’t sure how I did it, but it felt like I reached the gap in no time. Only then came the actual difficult part. I reached out with my right hand, using my left to try to grab onto the wall, and pushed open the window as far as I could so I wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. It wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I kept having to get closer and closer to the ledge so I could use more length to open the window all the way. Eventually, I was balancing on only one foot while Mickey kept muttering things down below. And so, I carefully put both feet back onto the ledge before placing one against the wall, hoping I wouldn’t slip. Mickey yelped out another swear word as I just went for it, both my arms clutching onto the window sill while I tried to use all my strength to hoist myself inside. My arms were shaking, my feet were threatening to slip.  
  
But I did it. I thought about how falling onto Mickey would only hurt her more while managing to do this would most definitely impress her. There was only one option I could choose. The adrenaline kicked in, and I had pulled myself inside in one swift motion… until I hit the carpeted floor.  
  
I groaned a little bit but couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. I just did something that I would never have done all by myself. Maybe I would have done it with all my friends surrounding me for shits and giggles, but this was crazy. I deserved a medal.  
  
I got something quite similar to that.  
  
Of course, I rushed downstairs as quickly as possible, ready to call Mickey inside. However, as soon as I opened the door, Mickey was already stood right in front of me, having waited for me to come. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around my neck and started kissing me. It was a completely climatic moment. With the adrenaline still rushing through my body, I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, kissing her as hard as I could. I had been wanting to feel her lips against mine again for quite some time, but it never seemed like the right time. This was the perfect timing. I was her hero.  
  
She pushed me inside and up against the wall as she closed the door with her foot. All thoughts of moving her stuff back in had disappeared, our contact was all that mattered anymore. I knew exactly what my body wanted to happen, and it seemed like Mickey felt the same way. Nothing further was happening yet, but I could see it crossing that line soon. And I did _not_ mind that line being crossed.  
  
But then the landline rang. Mickey broke away from me, her body still pressed against mine, as she turned her head to look at where the phone was. She shrugged and resumed our kiss, her hands roaming around my chest as if touching me would be able to bring me closer. I had to resist the urge to move my hands to her ass. If this was going to go any further, she was going to have to set boundaries, I did not just want to assume things.  
  
But then the phone rang again.  
  
Both our chests were heaving as Mickey looked in the direction of the phone again, contemplating whether or not to answer. I understood her reasoning. On one hand, she didn’t want to answer. On the other, it had to be quite urgent if the phone started ringing again almost immediately after it stopped.  
  
However, Mickey was thinking about it for too long. The ringing stopped and instead a voicemail was recorded. We could hear everything that Rian was saying on the other side and he did not sound all too happy. “I know you guys are there! I just fucking saw you guys! Or should I say I _saw_ you guys _fucking_?! What the hell is going on? Answer the goddamn phone. I swear to god. Or else I’ll-- I’ll-- I’ll-- I _will_. I will, ok?”  
  
And he hung up. Mickey removed herself from me, her mouth agape in shock as she quickly deleted the message before she would forget and her parents would find it later.  
  
I chuckled a little, believing I knew exactly what she was thinking. “I know, right? What in the world can Rian do?”  
  
She looked back at me, her eyes wide now too. She was concentrated on something way different that had been said in the message. “He thinks we’re fucking! Oh my god. We _aren’t_ fucking!”  
  
“I mean you did just start randomly kissing me roughly and pushed me up against the wall…” I mentioned, pushing myself away from said wall. Was Mickey saying she regretted kissing me?  
  
“I know, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to fuck!” She emphasized.  
  
“You mean… instead of fucking we were going to _have sex?”_ I questioned, wondering that maybe she didn’t like the more objectifying term. It was quite difficult to ask without using the term ‘making love’, which I refused to use right then and there.  
  
She looked at me for a second. But it wasn’t a calming look. Her aggression might have melted away completely, but it only left more space for her fury. _“No!”_ She exclaimed and walked off and started going up the stairs.  
  
I knew I had said the wrong thing. I needed to remind myself that Mickey had never been in a proper relationship as far as I knew. All her ‘romantic relationships’ had been based on sex, and sex _only_. There were no important feelings there. She didn’t know what it was like to be in a relationship that wasn’t only about sex. All she had done was try, but all she knew was the horrible relationships she had been in. I couldn’t blame her that she thought this was the way to do so and not make the other person believe that they were going to have sex.  
  
So, I immediately ran after her and stood at the end of the stairs. “Mickey, wait, no, please. I’m sorry.”  
  
She stopped before she reached the top and waited for me to continue.  
  
“I’m just so used that when girls do that to me, they want sex from me. I just need to realize that this is not always true, especially since you did tell me that you didn’t want to do it for a little while after that scare,” I said, trying to blame it on my old ways that I knew were wrong rather than on her ‘old’ ways that she didn’t know were wrong. “Just please come down, I’m sorry.”  
  
And she did. She walked down the stairs again until she was stood with me. Since we were so close to each other, I took this opportunity to show her was a real non-sexual kiss was like. I first pushed some of her hair out of her face so I could smoothly put my hand on her cheek. After looking in her eyes for a little while as if I were asking permission, I slowly leaned forward and let our lips mold together. Nothing about this was supposed to be rushed. I could feel Mickey almost immediately going for a faster and harder rhythm, but I stroked her cheek a little bit and refused to follow her pace. She got the hints and calmed down what she was doing, now just following what I was doing. And just like that, I got her to kiss me without her giving off the wrong intentions.  
  
A short while after she had gotten the hang of it, we broke apart at the same time. She smiled brightly at me, biting her lip a little to try and hide it a bit. “Now, _that_ was good.”  
  
“I know, right?” I smirked, deciding the next step was me just giving her a quick peck, nothing more.  
  
Rather than being surprised, her grin just grew bigger. “Don’t go acting cocky.”  
  
“You just boosted my ego, I believe I’m allowed to act a little cocky.”  
  
“Hmm…” She shook her head a little bit and seemed like she was about to kiss me again.  
  
However, before that could happen, the front door opened. I half expected Rian to come barging in, trying to break us apart. But no, it wasn’t Rian, he wouldn’t dare to do that with what he believed was going down. Who was entering the house, though, was Mickey’s stepdad. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he rushed up to Mickey and enveloped her into a hug. Mickey, however, just stood there with her eyes wide open, her arms to the side as she wasn’t sure how to react.  
  
“Umm…” She cleared her throat and gave him some pats on the back, unsure of what was going on. She never really was one to show affection physically.  
  
If she didn’t know what to do, then I definitely didn’t. I felt like I was intruding despite the fact that I wasn’t the one that just came inside. Was I supposed to leave even though I had nowhere to go? Was I supposed to stay and be awkward? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to do the wrong thing, but nothing was telling me which option that was!  
  
Eventually, Mickey’s dad let her go. “Rian called me saying that you came back home. I was close by, so I came as quickly as possible.”  
  
“Great.” Mickey gave him a thumbs up as her eyes flickered briefly in my direction. “I just have one question--by the way, I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at mom, so no hard feeling between us--so, why would you change the lock on my window? You nearly got Alex killed!”  
  
It was like he hadn’t even seen me there. Maybe he had been ignoring me. I wasn’t sure. But it wasn’t until then that he turned to me and inspected me from afar. “I’ve heard the name ‘Alex’ before…” Almost immediately after, his face dropped and something was telling me I was going to be sent out again.  
  
Mickey piped up, putting a hand on his shoulder and trying to divert him from getting mad, “now, before you get mad--”  
  
“Not get mad, Mickey? What do you expect me to do?!” He warned her, trying his best to keep his temper down. “You ran away with some guy you’re sleeping with! How in the world do you not expect me to get mad at him?”  
  
“I-- umm, _technically_ we aren’t sleeping together,” I told him, regretting the words as soon as they left my mouth.  
  
“Technically? Really? Is that supposed to make this any better? You’re either sleeping with my daughter or not. There is no place for ‘technically’ in this situation.” He now started directing it to me rather than Mickey. I knew my words hadn’t been chosen well. I just didn’t want to lie since we did sleep together before and we were just making out a few seconds before he came in.  
  
I tried to defend myself, like any normal human being, but it didn’t go so well. “I-- umm… I…”  
  
“Oh my god, dad,” Mickey groaned getting in front of him so that his eyes couldn’t shoot daggers in my direction anymore. “If it weren’t for Alex, I wouldn’t be here right now. If he hadn’t forced himself into my car and refused to get out when I told him to, I would have continued my journey. He’s the only reason I came back, so don’t take this out on him.”  
  
I could see the tension in his body release a little, his anger slowly dissipating. It wasn’t gone fully, but he no longer looked like he wanted the either murder me or throw me out. Instead, it seemed like things were going to calm down from there. But as we all know, that wasn’t how life had been going recently.  
  
As if on cue, both our mothers entered the house as well. You would have thought that Mickey’s mom was going to cause most of the drama since she finally got to see her daughter again after all this time. However, it was my mom that got the first word.  
  
“Alex, how dare you lie to me!” She scolded--I immediately knew she was talking about that one night Mickey stayed over--and crossed her arms. “And where have you been? I nearly had a heart attack when I called Joyce and found out that you didn’t decide to stay over there last minute!”  
  
Only one word left my mouth. “Ohio.”  
  
 _“Ohio?!”_ She nearly shrieked.  
  
“I know, right?” I laughed, running a hand through my hair. “That was my exact reaction when I found out we had gone that far.”  
  
But nobody else laughed along with me except for Mickey who was trying to hold it back. So, my laughter died down quite quickly and I just stood there feeling shameful.  
  
“Maybe it’s for the best if we keep them apart for the rest of the weekend,” Mickey’s mom suggested, also not approving of anything that had happened and was happening. “You can get your belongings from Mickey’s car.”  
  
“Let’s go, Alex.” My mom agreed.  
  
I silently followed her out of the house, feeling all eyes on me. When we stopped at Mickey’s car to retrieve my bag, something was telling me to go back inside. I couldn’t leave things off like this. It would only leave loose ends. Things had happened between me and Mickey and I wasn’t going to let it fizzle out again.  
  
So, I quickly ran back up to the door before her mom closed it and peeked inside, finding Mickey in the still same spot she had been standing before. “Hey, you wanna go on a date not tomorrow but the day after?”  
  
Mickey’s mom started answering, “I don’t think that's--”  
  
However, Mickey interrupted her. “Yes.”  
  
“Awesome.” I grinned and rushed back to my mom who had found my school bag.  
  
Together, we walked back to the car in silence. However, once we were in the car, the questions started coming.  
  
“What did you have to go back for?” Was the first one.  
  
“I, umm, asked Mickey out on a date,” I replied, not wanting to lie any further but also feeling a little awkward talking about things like this with my mother.  
  
“Alex…” she sighed as we turned at the end of the road.  
  
“It’s like everybody doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I get that the person she used to be wasn’t all too great. But she changed. I just need to show people that she changed. Not even her own parents believe so. Of course, sometimes things are a little bit rocky, but I really like her. I know that the extent I have gone through is way too much, that I should have stopped ages ago. But I can’t.”  
  
“I’m not mad at you in any way. But you need to remember that she isn’t your responsibility.”  
  
“I know, mom, I know.”


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three: A Little Bit of Effort

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
Despite my mom suggesting that Alex and I should be kept apart for the rest of the weekend, it really was only one day. What was that supposed to teach us? After Alex had asked me out and I had said yes to him, she just stared at me. She stared as if I was supposed to go run outside and tell him I changed my mind. But that definitely wasn’t going to happen. _Hell_ , no. So, that just led to me not talking to her the rest of the day and the rest of that Sunday and Monday as long as I could. Of course, I kind of broke the unspoken promise I had made to Alex. Although I technically never said the words, the sole fact that I came back was a promise to him that I was going to fix things with my mom.  
  
Anyway, just because she wasn’t supportive doesn’t mean that I didn’t think about the fact I was going on a date with Alex. It wasn’t the usual schoolgirl excitement. You know, where the girl gushes to her friends and they all let out high pitched screams and imagined what was going to happen and then make up an entire future for the two. No, for me it was more like an ‘oh-yeah-I’m-going-on-a-date-today-awesome’ kind of feeling. Ok, maybe, just maybe, if I had still been like thirteen-year-old me, I would have definitely acted like that, as I found out later.  
  
But that's not where I was at now. First came me being taken out of class by the Principal. Yes, I know, I actually did go to classes now. Of course, I’d still occasionally skip, but what was the point causing myself to have to repeat the year again? It was way easier just pushing myself through it now and so leave the hell-hole faster.  
  
Instead of calling me up over the intercom, Principal Adkins actually knocked on the door and personally escorted me to his office. I wasn’t exactly sure why he was doing it. Maybe he thought it would be more supporting if he came himself, or maybe he was just too afraid that I would walk out instead like I never had trouble doing before. Either way, I had to collect my stuff and walk with him silently to the office.  
  
Once we entered the room, I felt like I was having a flashback. My mom was sat on the same chair as last time, but there was no cop in the room. It definitely wasn’t a repeat of last time, but something similar was bound to happen. I was determined not to walk out this time, but also not to just give in to everything. I needed to make sure that I told them what I wanted and how I wanted it.  
  
I sat down on the spare chair as Principal Adkins went to sit in his chair on the opposite side of the desk. Although I didn’t want to make it too obvious, I refused to look in the direction of my mom.  
  
“Ok, it’s been brought to my attention that things have gotten worse since our last talk,” Principal Adkins started, making sure to look between my mom and I as he talked. “Although I do believe you’ve now come back home, there was a little bump before that, right after our last meeting.”  
  
“If you mean me going on a short drive, then, yes, that did happen.” I nodded and crossed my arms as I leaned back, noticing my mom’s eyes on me as well. “However, I also would like y’all to notice that I came back the day after. I realized that I was doing exactly what I was mad at my mom for; running away from my problems. So, I decided to be the bigger person and come back. I don’t really feel like my return was as appreciated as it should have been, though.”  
  
“What did you expect, Mickey?” My mom shook her head at me, trying to get me to look at her by staring at the side of my face. “That everything would be happy and great as soon as you came back? That everything before could be forgotten? Because that’s not how things work. You have to see the consequences of your actions.”  
  
“This isn’t a therapy session,” I groaned and rolled my eyes.  
  
“It may not be, but nobody is leaving until this is fixed,” Principal Adkins interrupted, probably afraid that I was going to storm out again.  
  
“Ok, I’m up for fixing this.” I nodded, getting surprised looks from both ‘adults’ in the room. “But, I am not willing to just let it all go and say I was wrong, since I don’t feel like that is the whole truth. I’m not the only one who did wrong here. I am not the one who relocated us the entire time--”  
  
“Because you were being irresponsible and unmanageable,” my mom added as if that was supposed to justify all her actions.  
  
This was the first time I looked at her. My left elbow was rested on the armrest, my head leaning against my hand. I just turned my gaze to her and gave her that look that showed her I wasn’t done with what I was saying and that if she wouldn’t let me finish, something would happen. And somehow, she knew exactly what my look meant, because she pursed her lips and shut up.  
  
“So, as I was saying,” I continued, crossing my legs despite being slumped in the chair, “I’m not the one that constantly made us move away. I’ll admit, the things I have done weren’t always the best. The first time is probably the only time that was really a reason for us to move away. But, now we’re just moving away with every little thing you consider ‘out of line’. How about instead of running away to a new town you actually try to do something that will allow us to stay in one place for once? I ran away as well, but I saw that it wouldn’t do shit. So, if these past six years aren’t evidence of this strategy not working, well then I’m telling you right now.”  
  
“Ok,” my mom agreed. “We will stay here. But it’s not just going to be that simple. We need to get your behavior to get back in line. So, we’re going to have to start with breaking apart from that friend group of yours. We need to cut out all the drugs and alcohol, and they’re the source of it.”  
  
I frowned at her. There was no way she was talking about Rian, so there was only another group she could mean. “I haven’t seen them in weeks. I’m no longer friends with any of them, I never really was.”  
  
“Ok, but that also includes that guy, whatever you want to call him, your boyfriend or something. The one with the motorcycle and always smells like cigarettes and all sorts of drugs.”  
  
“I broke up with him weeks ago. He was trying to steal a car, so I ended things there and then. I ended up walking home from one side of town all the way to the other. But then again, nobody was home anyway. God, do you even know what’s going on in my life?”  
  
“You never tell me anything.” She rubbed her hands over her face while she looked like a million things were hitting her at once. Like she was realizing things she had never picked up on before.  
  
“You never ask me anything!” I retorted. “I swear to god, I spend more time with Rian than I do with my own parents.”  
  
“Ok, here’s what I suggest,” Principal Adkins stopped us before we could go down the road including another argument, “you two are going to have to spend more time together. I don’t care how you do it, but it’s obviously not doing anybody any good. Both of you are going to put in effort, because if this turns into a one-sided thing, it won’t work out.”  
  
“I guess I can try and see if I can take some different shifts at the hospital, but I can’t promise anything. There’s a reason why things have been so hectic as it is, but I’ll try my best.” My mom offered.  
  
“And you Mickey?” the Principal asked me after there had been some silence.  
  
“Me? I don’t know. I guess just what I’ve been doing now. Going home some days, but also having some days for me to hang out with my friends. I don’t think it will sit well with Rian and the others if I just cut all ties with them.” I shrugged, making sure to use Rian’s name since my mom trusted him completely.  
  
“Oh, yes, I wanted to talk to you about that,” he said as he remembered something else that was unrelated other than with me mentioning Rian’s name. “Alex Gaskarth.”  
  
“What about him?”  
  
“He doesn’t exactly--how do I put this--have the greatest track record of all. And I don’t mean horrible things, he just is a teenage kid trying to laugh his way through life, focused on graduating so he can tour with his band.”  
  
“Ok,” I nodded, not seeing what this was supposed to be about, and turned to my mom. “See, I told you he was Rian’s friend!”  
  
She chuckled and urged the Principal to continue.  
  
\---  
  
I was impatiently waiting for Alex after school. He told me what time he was going to pick me up, but that was all. In the hurry of trying to go to our next classes, I couldn’t even ask him for more details. If I had had a phone or would have seen him again, I definitely would have, but all I had was the time. So, I was just sitting on the couch at home, waiting for Alex to show up. I was nervous and excited, and my stomach was doing weird things that I did not understand. Either way, my mom noticed the way I was feeling.  
  
“The last time I saw you this excited was when we’d give you a cookie when you were two years old,” she commented with a laugh, eyeing me where I was sitting on the couch with my legs up to my chest and facing the front door.  
  
“What?” I asked her, both trying to play it off and also not really having listened to what she was saying. All my focus was on the butterflies.  
  
“I’m just saying I’ve never seen you this excited about a guy. I never thought it would have been possible.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean!” I gasped defensively, but also in a not all too serious way.  
  
Before she could reply, the doorbell rang. I wasn’t sure what exactly to do. If I did what I really wanted to do, which was run to the door and open it immediately, I’d come over like I had been waiting for him. It was exactly what I was doing, but I was known for being late and chill about everything. But not going straight away would be cheating myself.  
  
My mom even noticed that debate going on in my head and suggested, “want me to open the door?”  
  
 _“No!”_ I shook my head as I stared at her, my nervousness coming out. “I’m pretty sure he’s afraid of you by now.”  
  
“Well, then I _should_ open it. I don’t want him to be afraid of me… unless he decides to hurt my baby girl.”  
  
“Oh my god,” I groaned and stood up, deciding now had been long enough for me to actually go to the door. “I’ll open it.”  
  
So, I did. The roles were reversed this time. I was opening the door for Alex to come inside. Only, he didn’t push himself onto me and also didn’t start making out with me. It was only good, because that would have been a horrifying with my mom in the room. All he did was look at me and smile.  
  
“Hey,” he said through his bright grin, still holding his car keys in his hand.  
  
I tried to smile back just as brightly, but there was something bothering me. He looked _great_. Like, great for a teenager. A little more put together than normal, but also not full out fancy-date style. I just ushered him inside, “hey, come inside. I still have to get changed very quickly.”  
  
Yeah, I made it sound like I wasn’t ready yet. No, that was not me trying to come off all cool about everything. It was actually me freaking out on the inside. Although he only looked a little different than usual--his hair looked like it had taken longer, his clothes were probably carefully picked--I did not look the same level of ‘fancy’. I was practically in my pajamas. Well, jeans and a jumper. I could not just go out like this.  
  
“Oh, okay,” Alex nodded as he stepped inside.  
  
I quickly ran up the stairs, going past my mom before I reached the steps. She was shaking her head at me, probably thinking that this was me trying to come over like I hadn’t thought about it the entire day. I repeat, that was not what was happening.  
  
I got to my closet and opened it wide. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I knew I needed something. You see, I never was the one to freak out about my outfit other than when my mom forced me to wear a floral dress, but now I was having one of those movie moments. The one in which the girl was throwing around all her clothes to find something to wear while frustratingly yelling ‘I have nothing to wear!’  
  
And, yes, _I had nothing to wear._  
  
Looking at all the clothes thrown onto my bed, I ran a hand through my hair and felt like punching a wall. Before I could do so, though, I looked out of the window and saw Rian standing in his room, questioningly staring at me. Maybe he would know an answer! I really was desperate.  
  
‘Help,’ I mouthed at him, to which he just looked at me more quizzically. Of course, he couldn’t see what I was mouthing. We lived on opposite sides of the road.  
  
I grabbed a notebook and a sharpie instead, drawing each individual letter on one page to spell it out for him. Just writing a note wouldn't work either, hopefully he could read the large letters. I turned the sheets one by one, pressing them up against the window. After going through the sequence twice, he gave me a thumbs up and disappeared. I was almost afraid that he was actually going to come over. However, just a little later I heard the phone ring and my mom came in just another few seconds later.  
  
“Rian’s calling,” she told me as she held the receiver to her chest and looked around at the mess. “Do you have time?”  
  
“Yes,” I stated bluntly and grabbed the phone from her, pushing her out of the room.  
  
“Ok, what do you need?” Rian asked me as I looked out of the window and saw him standing in his room again.  
  
“So, Alex just came to pick me up for our date and he actually looks better than usual. And I need to get to that similar level. Right now I’m not there. And I have a shit load of clothes around me. And I can’t find anything. And I’m out of breath. And I really need help. I can't find anything!” I ranted, using wild gestures as I continued to look at him.  
  
“Ok, ok, calm down,” he slowly said through the phone. “First of all, I didn’t know you guys were going on a date. Why the hell did I not know?”  
  
“It’s been a hectic few days…” I sighed, trying to take a deep breath.  
  
I could see him nod to accept my answer as he continued, “second of all, are you really coming to me for fashion advice? Have you seen me?”  
  
“I’m in dire need, Rian!” I whined.  
  
“Ok, umm… wear the dress when my parents and I came over for dinner to welcome you guys to the neighborhood.”  
  
“Dress I wore when you guys came to dinner?”  
  
“Yeah, the one with the triangles!”  
  
“Oh, the deathly hallows one!” I immediately turned to the few clothes still in my closet and pulled it off one of the racks. “You said you had a girlfriend.”  
  
“What does that have to do with this?” He asked as I held up the dress in front of the window.  
  
“You paid attention to my appearance! How can you know such a detail if it didn’t make an impact on you!”  
  
He interrupted our conversation briefly to say, “yep, that’s the dress,” before continuing with defending himself. “You practically attacked me and offered me a blowjob before telling me you’ve had sex with a shit ton of people. I’m pretty sure I’m mentally scarred. And, yes, I do have a girlfriend. You just never really expanded your horizons to the other people at our table.”  
  
“There’re other people at the table?” I questioned as I sat down to take off my shoes.  
  
“Yes! How did you not-- Oh my god.”  
  
“I don’t pay attention to things I’m not interested in. You could have been sucking face with her and I wouldn’t have seen just 'cause seeing you make out with somebody doesn’t exactly tickle my fancy.”  
  
“Well then--”  
  
“We’ll continue this later, ok?” I took hold of one of my curtains. “Thanks for helping me, but I’ve got to change. I’d rather do that without you looking.”  
  
He said goodbye before giving me a salute as I closed my curtains.  
  
Shortly after, I was bouncing down the stairs to meet up with Alex again. He was sitting on the couch I had been sitting on while my mom was sat on the edge of the recliner. It wasn’t as tense as I had expected it to be. It was more like the usual first-date-pick-up tense. Like I knew what the usual was… I had never experienced it before.  
  
“Ok, I’m ready to go,” I chirped as I grabbed my leather jacket from its hook.  
  
“Awesome,” Alex smirked as he took in my appearance. He stood up and slowly joined me.  
  
“Be back by ten,” my mom ordered as I opened the front door. “If you’re late, I’ll make the decision if there will be a second date or not.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” Alex assured her. “If anything, she’ll be home a little earlier.”  
  
“Don’t _say_ that!” I exclaimed and dragged him away to his car.  
  
The last thing I saw before getting in the passenger seat was Rian giving me a thumbs up through the window that looked out from their living room.


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four: Nerve-wracking Embarrassment

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I was actually a little nervous for this date. It had been a while since I actually took somebody out without having an ulterior motive. Usually, I’d act like I was taking a girl on a great date, but it would also end with that date and that date only. I did all the cliché things then. Movies, food, typical teenage first dates. So, all those basic ideas weren’t going to cut it out this time. This date with Mickey wasn’t just to get in her pants. I was doing this because I actually wanted to date her. I wanted all that other stuff as well.  
  
And so, the brainstorming began as soon as I got home from our 'road trip' to Ohio and back.  
  
Well, brainstorming sounds a bit too positive. Although I wanted to consider myself ‘romantic’, I couldn’t come up with shit. I was just a seventeen-year-old with a limited budget. The basic things practically were the only things in my price range, and the romantic things were way over. I couldn’t take her out to a fancy dinner, but it also wasn’t like that was what I wanted to do. Taking her to a museum seemed way too boring as a first date. I needed something where I could be myself but also have her enjoy it. You could say a strip club would have been perfect. But where was the romance in that?  
  
I had almost reached the point of either giving up and taking the cliché route I was trying to avoid or have other people help me think of an idea. Something told me neither would be a good idea. Mickey was not the girl that followed clichés--even though you might argue that she was a stereotypical troublemaker, she did change--and asking somebody like Jack wouldn’t do much better. Even Rian’s ideas wouldn’t satisfy me. It was like there was a specific idea on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be turned into words, but it wasn’t coming to me.  
  
It was nearly last minute that I finally came up with an idea. Well, since I did only have just over a day to think of something, everything could be considered last minute. But I mean last minute as in I only thought of it after I had made definite plans with Mickey. I gave her the time I was going to pick her up before even knowing what we were going to do. Lucky for me, we got separated before she could ask me what we were doing.  
  
Once I did have my idea and planned it out, I was actually pretty excited. I knew it was something I would enjoy, and I hoped Mickey would like it just as much. It was going to be so different to what she was used to. And, yes, when I realized this, I also noticed that the cliché dates would have been a big change for her as well. But this idea was so much better. I just hoped she wouldn’t find it boring. Jack often mocked me for this, so hopefully she didn’t agree with his view.  
  
I actually took a shower and spent ages trying to get my hair to fall perfectly. It was normal for me to spend a little too much time on it, but I just kept finding imperfections this time. I took way too long straightening it and I used way too much hairspray, but eventually it did reach to a point where I was satisfied with it. Then came my clothes. Although I wanted to look great, I only owned a specific style of clothes. It was practically jeans that were just a little too tight, graphic tees, and hoodies. So, in the end I just ended up picking my newest and favorite articles that fit with each other. Everybody had a ‘good’ outfit they loved. Well, this was mine. Many people wouldn’t even have noticed a difference. The confidence I got from the clothes, though, was good enough to me.  
  
Before I left my room, I made sure to grab a book, which I had had for quite some time, off the shelf. I didn’t know what I would have done on the date if I had forgotten the book. While I liked to think I knew some stuff, I definitely needed to book to help me out. So, don’t go calling me crazy for bringing a book with me. It was all part of the plan. I knew what I was doing.  
  
“Ok, I’m off,” I announced to my parents as I popped into the living room. They were watching something on the TV and turned their heads to look in my direction when they heard me.  
  
“Have fun.” My mom smiled. She knew what I had planned. I had run my idea past her first just to make sure I wasn’t doing something stupid or unrealistic, but she really liked the idea. She even said that she wished somebody would have taken her on a date like that--of course, that was said when my dad wasn’t around.  
  
“I just really hope she doesn’t think I’m some weird nerd for doing this,” I joked despite being afraid of that exact thing.  
  
“Better a nerd than a rebel rockstar,” my dad pointed out.  
  
“If you would have said that a few weeks ago, she would have liked the rebel rockstar better. Now, I have no idea. I guess we’ll see.”  
  
“That’s what first dates are for; to see if anything could happen.”  
  
“I guess.” I shrugged and started moving out of the room. I both felt horrible because many of my past dates weren’t for that reason and because I was nervous that this was going to go badly. All my pursuing would have been for nothing. Mickey wouldn’t want to be friends if this didn’t work out. “Anyway, I actually don’t want to be late for once, so I’m going to go now.”  
  
“Good luck.” My mom gave me a thumbs up as I left the room and went to the front door.  
  
Once I arrived at Mickey’s house, I was told by her that she still had to change and that I could wait inside. She looked fine to me, I had no idea why she still needed to change, but just telling her that she didn’t need to also seemed rude to me. I could see her mom there, so I felt like it would come over as me trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. Which happened to be true as well. So far, my experience with her hadn’t been so great. But then again, the circumstances also weren’t. Still, I was super nervous just to be there with her mom.  
  
“Would you like something to drink?” She asked me after I closed the door behind myself. “We have soda, water…”  
  
“I’m fine, thanks.” I gave her a quick smile. I really wasn’t sure what to do.  
  
“Sit down then,” she chuckled. “There’s no point just waiting around here awkwardly.”  
  
I did as she suggested and sat down on the couch. While I didn’t know what to say, I decided to look around the place. I never really had the time to look around. It looked just like any normal family home with pictures. Since I had more time to look around her father’s living room, I could say that they were complete opposites of each other. I was so happy that Mickey was here, and not there. That place barely even had any furniture.  
  
“This is a nice house you have here,” I said, it being the only thing that came up into my mind. “Well, I only really know the outside since I’ve often been over to Rian’s, and the two times I have been here didn’t really last long, but it’s nice.”  
  
I immediately mentally slapped myself for adding that second part. I even thought about mentioning the fact that I had seen Mickey’s parents bedroom, but that would have just made it so much worse. I had an excuse, but still. That would have been a weird thing to bring up. I was just trying to make conversation.  
  
“Yeah… I can promise you that fighting isn’t the only thing we do around here.” Mrs. Kingsley sat down on the recliner to my left, being way nicer than the other times I had met her  
  
I bit my lip a little as I looked down to my hands. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the source of all the problems. Of course, Mickey had always been a troublemaker, but there were other people involved too. Maybe I was that person here.  
  
But before I could let that worry get the best of me, Mrs. Kingsley spoke up again, “I’m pretty sure that the only reason you were around those two times is because you’ve been the only person trying to stop her recently. But things will get better from now on.”  
  
I nodded as I interlinked my fingers on my lap. So she didn’t hate me as much as I had originally thought. Maybe I really just happened to be at the wrong place wrong time. Maybe she had just been mad about the situation and not directly at me.  
  
Before another awkward silence could start again, the phone started ringing. Mickey’s mom excused herself and went to pick up the phone. Although I didn’t want to listen in, I couldn’t help but hear the conversation. Apparently, Rian was calling. Mickey’s mom said that Mickey probably didn’t have time to talk right now, glancing in my direction. However, he said something that convinced her to walk up and bring the phone to Mickey.  
  
A little while later, Mickey’s mom came back downstairs without the phone, meaning that Mickey took the call. I secretly hoped that she wouldn’t have, because now it meant that I probably was going to have to wait even longer. I just wished I could have conversations with Mrs. Kingsley as easily as Mickey could have with my mom. They really managed to hit it off, but I had no idea how to do so too.  
  
“Weren’t you the guy that brought Mickey to the hospital when she broke her wrist?” Mrs. Kingsley asked as she sat back down in the exact place as before. _“‘Rian’s friend’,_ right?”  
  
“Oh, yes,” I laughed, remembering the one time I did meet Mickey’s mom without her getting mad at me.  
  
“My opinion about you has changed so often.” She shook her head, more not believing her own actions than mine. “But I’m rooting to only keep one opinion now. So, fresh start.”  
  
“Cool,” I thanked before adding, despite knowing it wasn’t true, “I hope your opinion wasn’t always too bad.”  
  
“It’s been a bit rocky. First day of school, Mickey came home late,” she reminded me with a specific look, causing me to blush out of embarrassment. “You can imagine that that wasn’t a great first impression. The broken arm thing was good, but Mickey refused to call you by your name so it was a little suspicious. Then the night Mickey ran away, I was more mad at her than anything. And at first I wasn’t all too happy when you guys came back from out of state, but later I realized you were the reason she came back. She made sure I knew that.”  
  
I smiled now knowing that I really did have an impact on Mickey. She never really gave me any reaction to my reasoning other than saying I looked hot, so there wasn’t really anything to go from there. But she was also trying to change her mom’s view of me.  
  
If only I had figured out a way to keep the conversation going.  
  
Luckily, Mickey came downstairs before it started getting way too awkward. She looked absolutely amazing in the dress she wore. However, before I could fully take her appearance in, she was already dragging me out of the door.  
  
I swear I caught a glimpse of Rian watching us walk to the car.


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five: Time For Confessions

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
We didn’t speak much during the car ride. By now, we had been in a car together so often--or better to say for such long periods of time--that we didn’t need to have a constant conversation going to make sure it wasn’t awkward. I really did want to ask Alex where we were going, but I figured he would have told me by now if he didn’t want to keep it a surprise. I had no idea what to expect.  
  
All I could really see was that we were going further and further out of the neighborhood, which was pretty weird. Usually, you’d go into town for dates, or so I thought. I couldn’t really think of a time that I had actually gone on a proper date, so I had no idea how it all went. Maybe it was completely normal that Alex was heading right up the hill that all teenagers went to late night in their cars to bang each other. How was I supposed to know? Although it did make me a little uncomfortable that we were going straight towards the spot.  
  
However, just as we started approaching the bend that was used as parking space, which only had two cars parked on it now that it was a Monday evening, Alex drove right past it. He didn’t even slow down to show that he was thinking about stopping there. No, he just went further up the road. The only time I had actually gone further up was when I had to turn my car around and it was too busy to do it at the bend. So, yes, I had been parked there before.  
  
Only a little while after did Alex stop in an area that was actually designated for parking.  
  
After taking his keys out of the ignition, he turned to me and said, “I know this seems a little sketchy since we are in the middle of nowhere, but you’re going to have to trust me.”  
  
“Ok.” I nodded and took off my seatbelt, eager to see what he had planned. Maybe it was my excitement giving me courage, or maybe I’d already done so many sketchy things before that I didn’t really mind getting out of the car on a dark hillside.  
  
“I’ll have to get something out of the back before we go, though,” he told me as he took off his own seatbelt and started opening his door.  
  
He proceeded to open the trunk and pull out a blanket and a large book which I couldn’t identify. I decided to help him by taking out the other folded up blanket and a thermos with two metal cups. After he had closed the trunk again and locked the car, he pointed in the direction that we were going to go. Instead of going further into the forested area, we were going to climb over the barrier that was there to stop cars from flying off the road and down the hill. Before the drop-off, though, there was still a short stretch of rocky area.  
  
“Just be careful with your footing,” Alex warned me as he went first to lead me where he wanted to go. “It’s getting dark so sometimes it gets a little difficult to see the areas where you could twist your ankle badly.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t exactly want another bone to break,” I agreed, just trying my best to follow his exact footsteps. At least I was wearing some good boots, but I could already tell that my dress could get a little cold as time progressed.  
  
“Or have the possibility of making your arm worse,” he added, pointing at my wrist that had the extra blanket draped over it.  
  
Another reason why I could possibly be cold. My cast didn’t fit in my leather jacket, so my arm was just out in the open while the jacket tried it’s best to only cling to my shoulder. Despite these worries, I continued to follow Alex until we reach one of the last large rocks. He stopped and put down the blanket he had in his hands before sitting down and patting the space beside him.  
  
I first handed him all the objects I was carrying so I could use my good arm to let myself sit on the floor as well. Once I finally sat comfortably, I looked out at the view. We were on the other side of the hill, meaning the lights of the town weren’t right below us, however there was a different neighborhood that still had lights on here and there. In an area like this, though, it was impossible to find somewhere that didn’t have any houses or streetlights. This was just one of the better places.  
  
“So, I didn’t just bring you out here for no reason,” Alex started as he pulled out his hardcover book again, putting it on his lap. This time, however I could make out the words ‘ _The Book of Constellations’._ “I’ve had this book for quite some time, but I can put it to good use now.”  
  
I looked up at the sky that was slowly getting darker as the sun had already set, and was able to start making out some of the stars. “You must be glad that the weather is perfect for this. What would you have done if it had been cloudy?”  
  
“Honestly?” He looked at me as he bit the inside of his lip. “I didn’t even think about that. Oh my god, that would have been horrible.”  
  
“Well, you are super lucky.” I started to lie down so I could look up easily--I couldn't exactly lean back on my arms with only one hand that was working.  
  
“How the hell didn’t I think of that?” I breathed out with a small laugh. “Anyway, I hope this isn’t lame. Jack and Rian always make fun of my obsession with space.”  
  
“Space is an intriguing subject!” I argued as I looked up at him. “Who knows what the hell is out there? It’s actually pretty scary. I’m pretty sure I’d have an existential life crisis if I thought about it for too long.”  
  
“Finally somebody who understands!” Alex exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile back, knowing that what I had said had made him so happy.  
  
“So, you gonna teach me something about these stars or what?”  
  
“Right… ok, so first we’re in the Northern Hemisphere.” He flipped to a section in the book that provided another list. “And it’s October right now…” He used his finger to go down the list until he found October and then opened up to the right page.  
  
A large circle with the stars and constellations took up the two open pages, showing exactly where what was. The next few pages had some more information on more specifics, but first we were going to have to identify things.  
  
“What’s your zodiac sign?” Alex asked me. “Maybe we can see it now.”  
  
“Aquarius,” I replied, pushing myself up a little on my good arm to take a closer look at the pages since the book was in his lap.  
  
“Well, look at that, what a coincidence.” He pointed somewhere toward the bottom of the circle to the lines that had ‘Aquarius’ next to it. His finger then moved to ‘Sagittarius’. “Mine is just barely on here. At least we can definitely see yours, so that’s a win.”  
  
“And where would I find it in this jumble of lights?” I put my hands up to gesture toward the sky that now clearly showed us stars.  
  
“Hmm... “ Alex looked between the book and the sky before pointing somewhere. “Well, north is there. So if we turn the book like this,” he moved it so it was nearly upside down, “it should be just ahead of us.”  
  
I sat back up to see where he was pointing toward now, what he was calling ‘just ahead of us’. But all I could still see was a mess of stars. So, to try and see what he was seeing, I shuffled a little closer to him so I could look over his shoulder at the book and right in the direction he was looking. And then I could suddenly see the constellation right in front and above us.  
  
“Holy shit,” I gasped, surprised that I could see the pattern before pulling down my leather jacket from where it was just on my shoulder to reveal one of my tattoos close to the base of my neck. “I finally see what I’ve had on my skin for years in real life!”  
  
“An accurate representation.” Alex carefully grazed the tattoo. “It’s beautiful.”  
  
“It was one of my first tattoos,” I told him as I put my jacket back on, “back when I still thought they all needed a special meaning. Now I’m more into just getting what I like cause I like it.”  
  
“What’s your favorite one you’ve got?” He questioned, his eyes still lingering on where my constellation tattoo was despite it now being covered up.  
  
I burst out with laughter, not because it was a stupid question or because it was so cliché to ask, but because of what actually was my favorite… or more specifically _where_ it was placed. “I don’t think I can exactly show you right now, but you might have seen it once or twice before.”  
  
“Really?” He looked so confused. I thought it was pretty funny that he didn’t get my hints. He seemed like the one person who would get this type of stuff, but I was wrong. Maybe he just didn’t want to jump to conclusions.  
  
“The only way to show it would be by exposing my chest, so I do believe you’ve seen it before.”  
  
“Oh!” His eyes went wide as they trailed down to my boobs and quickly back up when he realized what he was looking at. “Right, yeah… I think I may have been a bit too preoccupied to take a close look at the many tattoos you have.”  
  
“Fair point.” I shrugged before sneakily adding, “I guess I’ll just have to show you again some other time.”  
  
Suddenly his smoothness came back as he smirked at me. “I guess you will.”  
  
After a short while of some more silence and Alex pouring both of us a cup of hot chocolate, I decided it was my turn to make a move. I really wanted to do something and be the one to start a conversation for once. I felt like if I always made Alex be the one to start talking, that he would believe that I wasn’t interested. In all honesty, I really _was_ , I just wasn’t sure how to communicate it. Everything I thought about saying just sounded so awkward.  
  
Eventually, I just came up with something and decided to go with it. “I feel like you know way more about me than I know about you.”  
  
“No, that can’t be. Now I think about it, I barely know anything about you!” He replied easily. “What do I know? I know your name, I know your age, I know… You see, barely anything. I don’t even know your birthday.”  
  
“Well, my birthday’s on the 21st of January,” I informed him. “You also know my entire family situation. You practically know everything that has been happening recently. Hell, you’ve even seen my actual childhood home.”  
  
“Ok, true,” he gave in. “But, that’s all I know. I know nothing about what happened before you came here.”  
  
“But you do know I lived with my dad until I was thirteen when my mom got custody of me. You know a bit about who I was before that whole change. You also know about us moving so often since then. So… you practically know my whole life story.”  
  
“Again, true, but--”  
  
“And what do I know about you?” I interrupted, trying my best to make sure this conversation wouldn’t end up about me again. It was always about me despite me actually never wanting to talk about myself. It was Alex’s turn to spill everything. ”I just barely found out your surname when I was blackout drunk. I can _guess_ your age, and I know that your parents have a British accent. You know way more about me than I know about you.”  
  
“Ok, then, let me introduce myself to you. A complete introduction.” He held out his hand for me to shake, which I did. “So, my full name’s Alexander William Gaskarth and I'm still seventeen. I was born in Essex, which you can find in good old England, but we moved out here when I was nine. I met Jack in eighth grade, we started a band. Jack met Rian in French class, who then joined our band. And then we met Zack. We just thought he did awesome skateboard tricks. This is my dad’s second marriage, so I have some older half-sisters and I had an older half-brother who I was pretty close to. That’s about it. Oh, and I'm having a Halloween party next week which you're definitely invited to. ”  
  
“Wait…” I thought out loud, wondering if this was ok to bring up. _“Had?”_  
  
“Yeah, he died a while ago…” He clarified for me. “I don’t really like talking about it.”  
  
I wasn’t sure how to deal with this. Alex had just told me something very personal that obviously still hurt him. I was never good with emotions, let alone good at consoling somebody. Just sitting there without saying something seemed rude to me, but saying the wrong thing was even worse. I was never put in this place before!  
  
“I, umm…” I stuttered, trying to come up with something to say.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” Alex excused, brushing off my failed attempt like it was no big deal that I was freezing up.  
  
“But I feel like I have to say something.”  
  
“It’s the thought that counts,” he said as he discreetly moved his hand over mine and intertwined our fingers a little. I followed his gesture and looked down at our hands curious as to how such a small thing was actually making me feel so warm inside.  
  
“If it would make you feel any better, I could tell you why I’m so screwed up.” I looked up again to see him already looking at me. “Well, I could tell you why I’m probably so screwed up in the whole relationship department. There’re many things to be accounted for that I don’t even know about if you want to figure out my entire life.”  
  
He whispered in an encouraging way, “not unless you want to tell me.”  
  
I decided that I did want to tell him. Not just so he would understand me better, but also so that I could come to terms with it. So, I laid my head on his shoulder to avoid eye contact with him as I retold my story. “Well, it all started when I moved back to Texas with my mom--it’s where I’m originally from despite only having lived there for a few months of my life. It’s kind of a typical story. It was my last year of middle school and I hung out with some people that you could consider ‘the wrong crowd’ outside of school. They weren’t exactly ‘the wrong crowd’, though. It was just like two girls from my class who had older brothers and their friends were kind of sketchy. For some reason these girls always hung around and I just joined them. But that’s not really the problem. You can probably already guess what happened. Long story short, I kind of built this stupid crush on a seventeen year old back when I was thirteen. And we slept together, which was totally illegal, but still. So, yeah, although it wasn’t like a serious crush or anything, I was quite hurt he only wanted to sleep with me once and never again. He fucking took my virginity. Obviously, I thought I did something wrong. Instead of just sulking and realizing I made a horrible decision, I decided that I wanted to get better, to find out what I did wrong. And that’s how I started sleeping around at the age of thirteen. Of course, my mom found out and we moved for the very first time, but that didn’t help at all. I guess I just fell into the habit and never really looked back at why I started it all. It's why I always tell Jack I wouldn't take his virginity, which is obviously a joke. I'm exactly like the person who took mine, always a one-time thing. I don't need to create another person like me.”  
  
"Hey, I wasn't a one-time thing." Alex nudged, a smirk hinting at his tone of voice.  
  
"I know," I agreed. "And this is also the first proper date I've ever been on. You can count yourself special."  
  
“But really, though, that guy’s an asshole,” he commented as I could feel him shaking his head. “Who the fuck would even do that?”  
  
“Let’s be honest here, have you never slept with a freshman?”  
  
“Not this year! Plus, you weren’t even in high school. I swear to god, if I would ever see this guy, I’d punch him.”  
  
“I mean, he is twenty-three or four now according to my math… so, are you really sure you’d want to fight him?” I chuckled and raised my head from his shoulder, determining that it was safe to make eye contact again.  
  
“For you? Yeah!”  
  
I could help but kiss him right there and then. I tried my best to follow what Alex had shown me during our last kiss. Slow and steady, not rushed and hard. My instincts told me to not waste any time and to go right down to business, but that was not what I wanted this time. I wanted to show him how much I liked him, not how much I was sexually attracted to him. The only way to do that was by trying to kiss him like he had done at the bottom of the stairs in my house. And apparently, it seemed to be working because he carefully laid one hand on my cheek to guide himself and follow the rhythm I would have usually thought to be excruciatingly slow.  
  
Nothing would ever top this first date.


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six: Everybody Scream, it's Almost Halloween

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I pushed through the crowd in my living room once more. It was the weekend before Halloween and I was throwing a party at my house for anybody that wanted to come. The party was already a few hours in and I still hadn’t seen Mickey anywhere. So, while I usually would have had much more to drink, I was too focused on finding her to actually enjoy myself. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been set on only her, but she was coming with Rian. Rian was always on time!  
  
Maybe she convinced him to be fashionably late for once. The only thing was that it was already a little later than coming in ‘fashionably late’. Most people here came at that time. Mickey was not included in that group of people. But she told me that she was going to come, and I trusted that. If this had been weeks ago, I would have long given up on her presence. She wouldn’t do that anymore, right?  
  
When I finally pushed all the way to the front door, I still hadn’t found her. Nobody around me had either seen her or Rian, so I just knew they weren’t here yet. Part of me was a little nervous, wondering if something had happened to cause them to not show up. Although I trusted Rian completely, I hadn’t ever been to a proper party with Mickey. Maybe she loved her pre-party drinks and insisted she’d drive. With that car of her’s, it couldn’t end up all too well. But Rian wouldn’t let that happen. So, I was just praying that they maybe got stuck in traffic that was non-existent.  
  
Coincidentally, just as I was about to make my way to the back of the house again to check if they hadn’t entered while I was looking somewhere else, the front door opened and the two people I was looking for came walking in. Mickey was strangely holding a duffel bag, and it did not look like part of her costume. I didn’t even know what her costume was unless she thought that wearing a trench coat was good enough. Rian was wearing some police officer costume, which nearly made me burst out with laughter. It wasn’t that he looked weird, because he obviously made it look a little off to be funny, but because he was the one coming in with Mickey. We all know Mickey’s relationship with the law.  
  
“Sorry we’re late,” Rian apologized as he pushed the door closed again. “It’s Mickey’s fault.”  
  
“Excuse me!” Mickey gasped with a click of her tongue, pushing one of her two pigtails back. “It was my _parents_ ’ fault!” She proceeded to turn to me and explain what happened, “I was all ready to go. I told them that I was going to go with Rian, that he was driving, and that your parents knew about the party. But they hated my costume and forced me to get changed into something else.”  
  
As soon as she took off her trench coat, I felt the excitement run through me. She was wearing long brown boots that showed off her legs until the short denim skirt started way too high up her thigh. Her midriff was completely exposed as a blouse-like shirt was tied just barely over her breasts. She looked fucking amazing.  
  
“This was the costume her parents didn’t want her to wear,” Rian clarified with an eye roll when he saw me practically drooling. “She changed back in the back of my car.”  
  
“Hence the bag, it has my other boring clothes in it,” Mickey added as she held up the bag a little more and opened it. She first pulled out a cowboy hat and put it on her head before shoving the clothes to the side a bit and revealing a few heavy glass bottles. “Don’t ask me how I got it, but you asked and I delivered.”  
  
“I was joking when I said that…” My mouth opened wide when I saw she brought four bottles of different sorts of alcohol along. Just a couple of days before, I had joked that my parents weren’t willing to buy the strong alcohol for me, but wouldn’t freak out if somebody else brought it, and so told Mickey to take something along.  
  
“I don’t joke when it’s about alcohol,” she told me seriously and pulled out the bottles, handing me one by one. “This is when the real party starts.”  
  
“Well, umm, thanks?” I looked at the items seeing some Whiskey, Rum, Vodka, and something I couldn’t identify because it was at the bottom of the pile. “I think you’re going to make many people happy with this.”  
  
“I know. Anyway, I’m going to familiarize myself with this crowd and see how far I can go tonight.” She pushed past, throwing her bag where many coats were desperately clinging to the hangers, and disappearing into the crowd I was trying to find her in just a few minutes before.  
  
Rian let out a little chuckle. “Are you sure you guys are dating? Cause that sure as hell was awkward if you are. She totally just left you to ‘familiarize’ herself with the crowd.”  
  
“I know,” I seethed, not needing another person to just tell me she totally abandoned me while I was looking for her for hours. “I don’t blame her for acting like this, but sometimes I just--”  
  
Some random guy from school came from behind me and put his arm around my shoulders. He was still laughing about something somebody else had said and already smelled quite strongly of beer. “Bro… Mickey’s looking hot tonight!”  
  
I nodded softly in agreement, trying to shrug his grip off me. Something told me that he wasn’t going to be my favorite person that evening. Maybe it was the fact that he was hanging off me, but it could also be the fact that he was complimenting my girl. Who knew?  
  
“You think I’d be able to get some tonight?” He asked as a rhetorical question. It was more like he was stating that he was going to sleep with her rather than inquiring to see if it was a possibility.  
  
Rian interrupted before I could say anything. “I heard she’s actually been seeing somebody recently. So, no luck.”  
  
 _“Ha,_ yeah right.” He shook his head to show he didn’t believe a word and gave me a manly slap on my chest. Before leaving the scene, he looked down at my arms and took one bottle Mickey had given me. “Nice.”  
  
It took everything in me not to turn around and stop him. I wasn’t going to be that host. Everybody enjoyed my parties, I always enjoyed my parties. There was no need to be an asshole this time. I didn’t need to be known as that one guy who lashed out for ‘no reason’. I just wasn’t sure if I was mad because other guys were noticing her, or because I wasn’t sure how Mickey was going to react. I wanted to trust her, but I just wasn’t sure.  
  
Not even a second later, Jack came bouncing up. “Dude, your _girlfriend_ looks fucking hot!”  
  
Rather than saying something about how she wasn’t my girlfriend, I embraced the term. If I wanted to fend off all the other guys, I needed them to know she was mine. I didn’t need any of that ‘but it isn’t official’ bullshit. I had used that excuse before to get girls to sleep with me, ruining the potential relationship they could have had with another guy.  
  
“I know she does,” I told Jack with a little annoyance in my voice, “I was just reminded by somebody else.”  
  
“I’d better go find her before you start agreeing with her parents that she should have worn a different costume,” Rian teased.  
  
I just glared at him before dumping the three leftover bottles in his arms so he could take care of them, and did exactly as he suggested. It was all I really did that night. I’d find Mickey, be with her for a short while, then she’d disappear again, and I’d go out looking again. With the constant routine, it almost felt like she was trying to avoid me, like she was trying to get away from me. I thought we had gotten past that point by now.  
  
At one point, I found her outside in my backyard sitting on one of the lawn chairs. However, she wasn’t just sitting there calmly by herself. There was something going on, but I didn’t find out until I was closer to her. Some guys were chanting her on while other people were murmuring about how stupid she was being. It was only when her hands started playing with the knot that kept her shirt closed, that I knew what she was thinking of doing. I was not letting her take off her top in front of all these people.  
  
I quickly rushed up to her and put my hands over her before she could untie it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  
  
“But _why_ not?!” She whined and let her head rest against my stomach. “Guys always get to walk around shirtless. Why can't _I_ do so too?!”  
  
“Because for some weird reason it’s not socially acceptable,” I told her, slowly pulling her hands away, relieved the knot was still intact.  
  
 _“They_ said it was fine.” She stood up and pointed at a group of guys that included the one who ‘asked’ me if there was a possibility he could sleep with Mickey.  
  
“Of course they said it was fine,” I gave the evil eye toward the group, only making them laugh. “They want to fuck you.”  
  
She frowned and held onto my arm as she looked at them as well as she said clearly enough for them to hear, “ _gross_ , I don’t sleep with high school boys.”  
  
Ironically, right after she said that, her lips were planted against mine. It was quite sloppy and done while I was basically keeping her upright since she was leaning into me completely. If this were in a slightly different situation, I would have carefully pushed her off and told her she was drunk. However, I was being a little bit more than selfish. One, I was savoring the moment because she kept leaving me the entire night before that and I was so happy she finally gave me some attention, even better she was showing affection. And two, I needed to show everybody that Mickey was off limits. So, technically I was kissing her for both the right and the wrong reasons.  
  
“How much have you had to drink?” I laughed softly when she pulled away from me.  
  
“Way too much,” she slurred slightly and bent down to grab two red solo cups, “but I haven’t reached my limit yet. I’ve still got a long way to go.”  
  
“You know, you don’t have to go that far, right?”  
  
“Loosen up a bit, Alex!” She exclaimed, waving both the two drinks around. “This is your party, don’t be a buzzkill. Have a drink!”  
  
She pushed one of the cups into my grip and started downing what was in the other one. I just looked at her, worrying that she would start swaying and falling over soon. But she still looked just as ‘fine’ as before. Yes, she was drunk, but she surprisingly wasn’t too far gone yet. Well, ' _surprisingly'_ … she had a long of experience.  
  
“Come on, Alex,” she encouraged me when she had finished and noticed that I hadn’t downed the cup along with her.  
  
I looked down at the weird colored drink and sighed before taking a small sip. I nearly spit it all out, but quickly swallowed it down instead. “What the shit is in here? This is disgusting!”  
  
 _“Everything.”_ She smirked. “It’s horrible, but it does the job.”  
  
“It does the job?” I was about to decline it, but internally scolded myself. Why was I acting like this? This was my party, I never acted like this. I was always prepared to drink whatever came my way. At first, my excuse was that I was trying to find Mickey. But I had found her by now. There was no reason to hold back. So, that horrifying drink ran down my throat easily and quickly.  
  
And that was when I fully let loose. Mickey and I were practically stuck at the hip, constantly around each other. I would drink whatever she would give me, not caring about the hangover that was to come. With neither of us giving a shit about what or who was around us, it led to some great makeout sessions. The rest of the night was a slight blur. I could still remember important details, but ask me about anybody’s costume and I could not tell you.  
  
Eventually, Mickey and I ended up stumbling into my bedroom. Our lips had barely disconnected ever since they had collided together. I was surprised we even managed to make it up the stairs. Somehow our swaying managed to cancel each other out rather than causing us to fall over. Once relieved to see that nobody had entered my room yet and taken my bed, I pushed Mickey up against the door, causing it to close fully. As soon as I had unbuttoned that barely-there skirt of her’s, she stepped out of it and helped me take off my white tank-top that belonged to my stereotypical ‘douchebag’ costume. While I was glad that I didn’t have to unhook a bra in my drunken stupor, I did still have to play around with that knot she had wanted to get rid of herself before. Although it took a little longer than I wanted, I managed to get the clothing article off her.  
  
“Boots on or off?” she asked me in a whisper, out of breath from our nonstop kissing just before.  
  
“Off,” I said dumbly. I couldn’t understand why she would even think of keeping them on until it hit me that there were probably some guys who thought it was sexier. I could only imagine how they could painfully get in the way.  
  
She stumbled over to the bed and sat down as she took them off so she wouldn't fall over while attempting to do it standing up. While she was messing with the zippers, I took my time to kick off my own sneakers and pull off the pants I was wearing. However, as soon as she was done, I pushed her further up, climbed on top of her, resumed our kissing, and used my hands to get both of us fully naked.  
  
One moment she was holding onto my shoulders as I lined up, and the next I looked up to double check if she was ok before going in, to see that she had passed out. I let out a slight annoyed groan in my drunken haze and rolled off her. After scrambling around to get the duvet from under her body, I pulled it over us and fell asleep next to her.


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Morning After

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I woke up feeling absolutely terrible. There was a heavy painful feeling anchoring my head to the pillow. It was like my eyelashes were glued together, my eyes were refusing to open. All my limbs felt weighed down, I could barely move around. This hangover just told me that I had a good night the night before. There was just one problem, I couldn’t remember shit. I tried my best to think back to when I got in the bed or when somebody helped me to it, but the last thing I remembered was still being able to walk perfectly fine.  
  
Eventually, my body generated enough energy for me to actually open my eyes. While the light pouring through the open blinds was just a little too bright for me to handle, I pushed through it and looked around. I recognized the room I was in as Alex’s bedroom by the many posters on the wall, the posters I had inspected the last time I was in here.  
  
Slowly, I raised my hands up and brought them to my face to rub my eyes. I tried to find a clock somewhere to tell me how late it was, but when I looked to my right, I instead found Alex next to me on his stomach with his face hidden in a pillow. Immediately my heart started thumping and a sick feeling came over me. Maybe it was the alcohol making me feel nauseous, but when I carefully held up the duvet a little and saw that I was fully unclothed, the feeling got even worse. I was sure I was going to be sick when I peeked towards Alex’s body and found him in the exact same state.  
  
 _Fuck_.  
  
“You ok?” I heard Alex’s muffled voice through the pillow. I had no idea how long he was awake, but it was obvious that he was trying to hide from the reality that was a hangover.  
  
“Yeah,” I answered back quickly and shortly. For some strange reason, I was actually a little mad at him. He knew I didn’t want the first time we slept together again to go like this, yet he still allowed it to happen.  
  
“Thank god,” he sighed out in relief. “I was almost convinced you were going to get alcohol poisoning at the rate you were going.”  
  
I hummed in response and looked in the other direction. I would have moved my body, but it was too risky with the close quarters we were in. His comment just confirmed that he could remember what had happened. He wasn’t as drunk as I was, so he had the power to stop it all before it could happen. Yet, here we were, in bed naked. I knew I was supposed to get mad at myself for even letting myself get that drunk, but Alex could have made an effort to make sure we didn’t sleep together as well, especially since I obviously was too far gone.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he questioned as he pushed himself up on his elbows. However, the movement must have caused his head to spin because he quickly fell back into the pillow and let out some profanities.  
  
“Nothing. Just hungover like you.” I wanted to get out of there, maybe go to the bathroom so I could clean up after doing something I couldn’t remember. But I didn’t want to stand up so he could see me naked again. This wasn’t how I wanted it to go when I joked that I would have to show Alex my favorite tattoo another time.  
  
“I know something’s wrong,” he continued to talk into the pillow, “you always have this staccato tone and speak in short sentences when something’s wrong.”  
  
“I’m fine.” I scrunched up my nose when I could hear his observation in my voice. Why was he so observant? I didn’t even realize I did that.  
  
“You see, you just did it again.” He mumbled and I felt some movement beside me.  
  
Just a second or so later, I could feel him closer to me, his breath against my neck. I could already tell what he was planning on doing when the gap was closed even more. Before he could come closer the kiss me on my cheek, I held up my hand and pushed him away. The last thing I needed right now was him getting physical again.  
  
“Ok, now I know for sure that something’s wrong.” He slowly retreated back, careful not to make his headache worse with any sudden movements. “What is it about? You were practically ignoring me for the first half of the night last night, and now you’re just pushing me away?”  
  
I ignored him for the first half of the night? What? Obviously, I didn’t with the fact that we literally had sex. If he meant that I often went back to get another drink and sometimes got distracted by people that would start talking to me, then yes, I was totally ignoring him.  
  
“I’m just hungover. I will throw up if somebody touches me. Personal bubble,” I told him. It was true, I didn’t like being touched when my head was pounding and my stomach was churning, it just wasn’t the whole truth.  
  
“You’re still doing the short sentence staccato thing, though!” Alex said a little louder before groaning loudly and going back to his pillow for safety. “That was too enthusiastic… fuck…”  
  
I became a little restless and turned back to him, seeing him massaging his forehead a little. “At least tell me we used protection.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I do not need another pregnancy scare.”  
  
“Wait,” he looked up, making eye contact with me for the first time this morning, “you’re mad cause you think we slept together?”  
  
“Of course, I’m mad,” I burst out as loudly as our hangovers would allow us. “We discussed this!”  
  
He shook his head softly, his eyes wide despite the light that was too bright. “No, Mickey, we haven’t discussed anything, let alone something about us having sex.”  
  
I felt some heat going up to my cheeks, but I was sure the rosiness wasn’t visible. I really didn’t feel like going over this again. Knowing Alex, he’d want to know my entire thought process and exactly what I was thinking. I thought I had made it pretty clear when I said I was still going to wait a little while longer with having sex with anybody after my pregnancy scare. Apparently, Alex thought differently. Maybe he just thought that ‘little while longer’ was already over.  
  
“Talk to me,” he said softer and reached out to put a hand on my shoulder before remembering I had told him not to do so.  
  
I just groaned a little to show him I really didn’t feel like talking about it. My reputation was just getting ruined now that I was around Alex. I was the girl who didn’t give a fuck, who slept with anybody she wanted to. I could hardly tell him that I wanted things to be different for once.  
  
“Or don’t…” he sighed. “But you can’t have any expectations if you don’t tell me what they are.”  
  
I gave in with a deep breath out. I said I wanted things to be different, that included talking and being open about my emotions. So, I had to tell Alex what was on my mind. “All my relationships have been based on sex. I’m guessing you already know that I don’t want this to be the same way, I believe we have already established that, but I might be wrong about that too. Anyway, so I was hoping that we wouldn’t rush into that so quickly. I know it doesn’t make much sense since we already have had sex before, but…”  
  
“Well, then you’ll be happy to know that we didn’t have sex,” Alex replied, taking me by surprise. “We were very close, like one-inch close, but you passed out before that last inch could be closed.”  
  
“I passed out?!” I was fully awake by now if I wasn’t already. “Fuck…”  
  
“It’s ok, though. Luckily I noticed and stopped before it was too late.”  
  
“That just makes me wonder if I’ve even done it before… what if the other people weren't as considerate as you were?” I ran a hand through my hair, getting it stuck in all the tangles and knots.  
  
“Shit,” Alex commented, understanding exactly what I meant.  
  
“I mean, I never felt like I’d been-- _raped_ before. I’d feel that, right?”  
  
“Let’s not think about that, ok?” he pleaded and changed the subject. “At least I now know that I’m going to have to plan out ‘our first time’ just like in all sappy relationships.”  
  
“Oh god, no.” I scrunched up my face in disgust. “Please don’t. That’s just weird.”  
  
“I’ll take you out on a romantic date, litter the room with rose petals and candles, turn on some music to get the mood started--”  
  
“Please, no,” I groaned and hid my face behind my hands.  
  
He chuckled and pulled my hands away to carefully kiss me. This time I didn’t push him away and kissed him back instead. I’ll be honest and say it wasn’t the most pleasant kiss. We both hadn’t brushed our teeth and were far too dehydrated. But the moment called for it.  
  
Suddenly, the door swung open causing us to break apart abruptly. Jack was standing there in just some shorts, starting at us.  
  
“Fuck, shit, _ah_ , sorry!” He blurted out, but his gaze stayed on us. He kept letting out small terrified screams, knowing he had walked in on something he probably shouldn’t have.  
  
“Are you just going to stare?” I raised my eyebrow and pushed myself up a little, making sure the duvet wouldn’t slip down too far.  
  
“I want to leave, but I’m frozen!” he yelled, making my head feel like it was about to explode. My headache had just gotten much worse.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and simply got out of bed--with only a little swaying from his dizziness--not caring that he was butt naked. He walked up to Jack and pat him on the shoulder before helping him turn around and walk out of the room. Jack muttered some thank-yous as he continued his way down the hall all by himself.  
  
“Does he do that often?” I inquired as I held the blanket close to my chest and sat up slowly.  
  
“He’s just a little weird,” Alex excused and walked to his dresser to pull out a new pair of boxers that he quickly slipped on. When he opened another drawer he asked me, “would you like to borrow some clothes?”  
  
I was about to decline but then remembered what my costume was. No way was I going to put that on again. I did have those extra clothes with me, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if that bag had vanished into thin air. “Yeah, that would be nice.”  
  
He handed me a basic t-shirt and some basketball shorts, picking up my panties from the floor as he walked past them. Most people would have been embarrassed if somebody touched their underwear like that, especially since it was a thong, but I was long past that point. If you hadn’t realized by now, I had no shame unless it came to this whole relationship thing.  
  
I put on the shirt when I was still in the bed, still craftily trying to make sure that the duvet wouldn’t be dropped too soon. Once the shirt was properly on, I got out of bed. It covered everything, so I just put on my underwear and the shorts when I was stood up. It was way easier that way.  
  
When both Alex and I were ready, we went downstairs together. I checked the time to see it was already half-past ten, meaning that everybody who had passed out either in the house or outside had woken up by now and done the walk of shame back home in their costumes. Usually, I was also one of those people, but I actually was allowed to stay this time. Perks of dating the host.  
  
We entered the kitchen to see that all the chairs except for two were occupied. Rian, Zack, and one other guy and another girl were seated while Jack was scavenging for food in one of the cupboards. I swiftly sat down in the middle empty chair, deciding that I did not want to stand up.  
  
“Ah, look, they decided to join.” Jack smirked at us and continued searching for whatever he wanted.  
  
“You guys have fun last night?” Alex asked as he sat down next to me.  
  
Zack shrugged and slouched in his chair. He didn’t look all too great, some traces of face paint still on his skin. “I mean, you and Mickey were sucking faces non-stop, so I’m guessing you had a great time.”  
  
“Hmm, you guys kept going on and on about how much you guys loved each other. It was quite sickening,” Jack added, his face still in the cupboard.  
  
I frowned at him despite the fact that he couldn’t see me. “Ok, that’s a lie. That totally doesn’t make any sense. We’ve only been dating for just over a week. Don’t get in over your head.”  
  
“Agreed,” Alex nodded, having a similar reaction to Jack’s claim.  
  
“Fine, I’m lying,” Jack sighed out in defeat, “but you guys were drunk enough to have done that.”  
  
“I’ve had enough scares this morning, nobody can trick me anymore,” I announced and looked at Rian who was right across from me. The girl with brown hair was sat next to him and rested her head against his shoulder. He turned his head a little to kiss the top of her head. My mouth fell open. “Oh my god, I see it now!”  
  
“Oh, really?!” Rian gasped in mock-surprisement. He knew exactly what I was talking about. This was the first time I actually noticed his girlfriend.  
  
“I guess all my makeup just blinded my vision for so long,” I made up as a reason. “Which actually reminds me… I didn’t check in the mirror to see how terrible I look.”  
  
“You look fine,” Alex promised me. “Trust me, if there was black running down your cheeks, I would have warned you--”  
  
There was a loud ruckus of things falling out of the cupboard Jack was checking out. He jumped away and let out a high pitched scream. Immediately, everybody else in the room groaned with annoyance and clutched their heads.  
  
“Jack, the fuck,” Zack whined as he massaged his temples.  
  
“Ok, I’m going to make you guys a cure,” I got up from my seat and took the blender from its storage in one of the corners. “Have you all already taken some advil?”  
  
They all shook their heads, so I looked at Alex. “Do you have some?”  
  
He nodded and pulled it out of one of the small cupboards that contained random items. I gave everybody one and told them, “don’t take it yet, you’re going to have to chase it down with what I’m giving you.”  
  
I proceeded to mix random ingredients I found together. That was the magic of this ‘cure’. It was never the same. I always just used whatever I thought would work. Of course, the things didn’t work all too well together, but the hangover was always cured. It was mainly because of one ingredient, though.  
  
I found my bottle of tequila that had barely been touched. “Awe, I love tequila. Why did nobody drink it?” I took a sip right from the bottle, letting the burn coat my throat.  
  
“Are you seriously drinking more right now?” Rian’s eyes bulged out.  
  
“Yeah, obviously.” I gave him a weird look and poured a couple of shots into the mixture free handedly. I never knew exactly how much to put in, but the fact that it was in there was what counted.  
  
“Oh no, I’m not drinking that!”  
  
“Ok, don’t,” I shrugged as I blended it together one last time and pulled out seven glasses, “but you don’t get to complain about your hangover.”  
  
He didn’t say anything after that. I prepared all the glasses and handed them out. However, when I wanted to sit back down I was met with Jack having taken my chair. I glared at him for a while, but he claimed that I moved and that it was rightfully his. To my surprise, Alex pulled me down on his lap instead. I was super confused as to why he did it and why he gave me a chaste kiss on my left shoulder that was slightly exposed, but I decided to accept it. Looking at Rian and his girlfriend, it seemed like this was just something that couples did.  
  
“Ok, so, don’t think about what you’re drinking, don’t taste it,” I warned everybody while I held the advil with my broken hand and my glass with my other. “Put the advil in your mouth first and just drink the entire glass. Do not hesitate or do it in two goes. Literally, just chug it.”  
  
“Like the drinks you gave me last night?” Alex asked with a sly undertone.  
  
“Listen up, I don’t remember shit about last night, you could have declined it. I don’t even know what I made you drink.” I defended myself.  
  
 _“Everything.”_ He winked at me before he followed my prior instructions.


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight: No, it Definitely Hurt

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
Although Mickey technically was able to drive with her broken wrist, as she had proven before despite it technically being illegal, I had driven her to the hospital right after school to get her cast taken off. Of course, the hope was that it would be taken off and that she’d be free to go out and do whatever she wanted again, but things weren’t that simple. Luckily the bone didn’t grow back wrong, so that didn’t need fixing. However, she did still need to wear a brace. So much for taking off a cast. I was just praying she wouldn’t unnecessarily take it off because she didn’t like it. That would slow down the healing process so much.  
  
I didn’t really have much to do at the hospital. I was just waiting in the waiting room without anything to distract me. Yes, there were magazines, but I didn’t care about the gossip, nor did I want to know how to lose 10 pounds in two weeks. And, let’s be honest here, I wasn’t going to read the newspaper either. I did have a young nurse who kept eye-fucking me for some reason. Usually, I would have taken complete advantage of that. I would have gotten her number or I would have been brought into an office in no time. But it wasn’t exactly right to do that while my girlfriend was at the hospital for a reason, right? Even if we weren’t at the hospital, it would have been wrong on so many levels.  
  
After we were done and Mickey made sure to quite clearly show that she was annoyed with having to wear a brace, I took her to the mall. That way we at least still got to do something fun. The day didn’t have to be ruined. It was the perfect way to cheer anybody up. Only, Mickey didn’t really understand that concept...  
  
“So what are we here for?” She asked me as soon as we walked through the automatic doors. “Do you need to get something or do you feel like pissing off some people?”  
  
I gave her a strange look. The mall was full of possibilities yet she was stuck on her two usual ones. “No, we’re here just to be here. Many people just come here for a date. Our first date was something way out of the box.”  
  
“Just the sole fact that we went on a date is out of the box for me.”  
  
“Well, we’re here to have fun, so…” my eyes scanned all the stores I could see to find a place to start with. It was pretty difficult, not because the stores were shit, but because I wasn’t sure what would be appropriate for a date. However, just before I was going to admit that I had no idea what to do, my eyes fell on the small place that sold smoothies at the beginning of the food court. I grabbed Mickey’s right hand and started guiding her. “Come on.”  
  
“So, I’m guessing this is going to be running-through-the-pouring-rain-to-get-ice-cream fun rather than let’s-get-wasted-at-a-club fun,” Mickey laughed as she saw where I was heading.  
  
“Of course. Only, I’m hoping it doesn’t end with you getting mad at me and running out into the pouring rain,” I joked along with her. “So far, the sky is clear, so either way you can’t do that anymore.”  
  
“I’ll try not to summon the rain clouds.”  
  
Once we got to my destination, I told Mickey to sit at an empty two-person table while I went to get the drinks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to come with me because I recognized the two girls working there from school, but the fact that there was an open table and we needed to claim it if we wanted to sit somewhere. Mickey didn’t question it. It probably was a good thing I told her to wait due to those girls, though.  
  
As soon as it was my turn, their entire body language and posture changed. They were no longer fed up with standing and working. Instead, they actually seemed super interested and perky. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew it wasn’t because their shifts were ending soon; I knew it was because I was there, as cocky as that may sound.  
  
“What can I get for you, Alex?” The one at the cashier asked me, leaning over the counter just a little bit. I wasn’t going to be fooled by her tricks that enhanced her boobs, though. Not only did I have a girlfriend, but this was a sophomore we were talking about.  
  
“I’ll just have two of the specials,” I answered, hoping that me ignoring her actions would be enough of a sign.  
  
“Would that be two mediums… or two _large_ …” She winked next, lightly grazing her collarbone.  
  
“Umm… medium should be fine, thanks,” I awkwardly coughed and scratched the back of my head. I really hoped that this would end quickly.  
  
After I paid, I stood to the side while she made the drinks. Luckily, since she probably wanted to talk to me, the process was sped up. In no time, she had poured the blended fruits into two plastic disposable cups and put them on the counter. But not without giving me napkins as well. Luckily, I had noticed her write down something on them while she was waiting at the blender. So, when I saw the napkins, I immediately recognized a phone number.  
  
I picked up the specific napkin with the digits and handed it back. “I only need two, so you might want to take care of the environment and give this extra one to somebody else.”  
  
“What?” She frowned when she saw which one I had given back. “But--”  
  
“You know, there is a reason why I bought two, it sure as hell isn’t for a friend ‘cause I’d make them pay, and it surprisingly also isn’t because I like them so much I need two.” I looked back toward where Mickey was sitting and saw her looking at something else. “I actually do have a girlfriend right now.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“But thanks for the drinks.” I smiled to stay polite and made my way back to the girl I never believed I would actually be dating.  
  
I caught Mickey’s attention by putting the smoothies on the table and sliding into the seat across from her. She smiled at me and thanked me before grabbing the one closest to her and taking a sip. I watched as her face turned pleasantly surprised. It really was like when I took her out for ice cream after her car had broken down, minus the anger. Back then, I could also see her confusion towards the ice cream I had given her and the fact that she actually secretly liked it. Only, this time she wasn’t secretly liking it.  
  
“You should have totally kept her number,” she eventually told me, confusing me this time.  
  
“What?” I wondered out loud, pulling the straw out of my mouth.  
  
She shrugged and took another quick sip. “I’m a pretty observant person. I could see her trying to flirt with you. Keyword being ‘trying’.”  
  
“You were looking in the opposite direction,” my mouth fell open, “how did you even notice?”  
  
“Once you have kids, you see _everything.”  
_  
I choked on my own breath when I heard her words. Did I even hear it correctly? Did she say _‘kids’?_ What the fuck?  
  
“Woah, I was just kidding, no need to suffocate,” she awkwardly chuckled and drank some more.  
  
I shook my head, trying to play off the way I had reacted. “Well, I wasn’t going to keep her number or even flirt back. I have a girlfriend now, you know.”  
  
“True, true,” she nodded and leaned back in the chair, “but she looked super upset.”  
  
“That is not my problem.”  
  
“I wasn’t complaining. Everybody’s been telling me to be more compassionate, so I’ve been trying it out. But, apparently, I’m now doing it wrong.”  
  
I laughed softly and put down my cup. I wasn’t laughing at her, I actually thought it was kind of cute that she was trying. “It’s ok to be a little selfish during times like that. While I’m very happy you aren’t mad at me especially since I actually made sure nothing happened, if something ever does happen, I give you full rights to be furious.”  
  
“I don’t know how,” she leaned back forward again and put her cup against mine, “but I’m so going to use that against you someday.”  
  
I couldn’t help but just take her in for a second. It had only been two weeks, but I was so happy. True, things weren’t all that great when my time was divided between me trying to pursue a girl and said girl doing everything to shake me off and insult me. I just wasn’t sure yet if I was happy that I managed to do the impossible or because I was actually happy to be with Mickey. However, the feeling didn’t feel shallow, it felt warm and fuzzy.  
  
But before I could admire her more, her own gaze shifted away from me and to something behind me. Her own smile dropped and her eyes widened a fraction. It was like she had just seen the ghost of a loved one.  
  
“Shit…” She muttered and quickly moved her eyes even further away to the right. “Fuck, he saw me.”  
  
It was only then that the nerves hit me too. “What? Who saw you--”  
  
“Kingsley, you _bitch!”_ A voice boomed from not all too far away, attracting the attention of everybody in the north wing of the mall.  
  
I turned around to see whose face belonged to the voice that called my girlfriend a bitch, to see Devon Kline fuming as he was coming right for us.  
  
“Don’t you dare get involved, ok?” she told me with a look that said that she wasn’t fucking around, that if I even thought about it, something would go horribly wrong and I’d be left with the consequences.  
  
But I couldn’t just sit there and act like nothing was happening when Mickey walked up to that walking murder machine made out of pure muscles and rage. I knew that Mickey wasn’t some fragile girl and I knew that she could defend herself just fine if need be, but my instincts kicked in. She was my girl, and I was going to protect her no matter what the cost. So, while they were already throwing painful words at each other, I walked up to them, ready to throw a punch or two myself.  
  
“Oh, look, it’s the guy you’ve been fucking with behind me back!” Devon laughed coldly and sharply.  
  
Everything about him was just pure evil and I had known that since I saw him around Mickey the very first time in The Depot. She had never confirmed any of the abuse rumors, nor did she ever have any bruises that suggested it, but his behavior said enough now.  
  
“Oh my god, Devon,” Mickey groaned and pulled harshly on her hair out of frustration, “we weren’t even in a proper relationship. I know for a fact you were cheating on me at least every other night, don’t act like the victim here.” She then turned to look at me briefly. “And I told you not to get involved.”  
  
It was like everything happened in slow motion when she went to face Devon again. I wanted to yell out for her to watch out, or maybe even jump between the two, but it happened so fast and I was too far away. Before Mickey noticed, I saw Devon’s arm extend and his hand flatten. He swung his arm towards her until his palm crashed against the side of her face. As the sound echoed from the walls and shop windows, I felt the anger inside of me going from zero to one-hundred in no time.  
  
“Really, dude?” Mickey sighed as if he had just said something stupid instead of actually hitting her.  
  
I couldn’t help but take a step closer and scowl. “Don’t you dare lay a finger on her.”  
  
He just snorted loudly. “Looks like you’ve got a clingy one here, _sweetheart.”_  
  
“I don’t exactly like that word…” I shook my head, squinting my eyes at him and slowly stepping closer. “So, if you would leave me and my girlfriend alone, that would be great.”  
  
“Oh, boy,” he wiped away a tear that wasn’t even there, “you do know that word doesn’t mean anything to people like us,” his eyes proceeded to glide over to Mickey. “I actually can’t believe you’ve tricked this tween into thinking he’s dating you. You will do everything just to be the little slut you are.”  
  
“You’re just jealous she thinks I’m better than you are.” I easily shrugged, knowing that that was what Mickey had used against him when she broke up with him in the first place.  
  
“Alex!” Mickey gasped, giving me wild eyes. I knew I had crossed more than one line with that comment, but I couldn’t give a fuck at the time.  
  
“I will fucking--” Devon started going for me, but Mickey jumped in between us before he could get to me.  
  
Instead of throwing the punch at her like before, he pushed her to the side, causing her to stumble to the floor. That was the last straw for me. I normally wasn’t the guy to get into fights, I would avoid them as much as I could, but I could not just simply ignore this. First he insults Mickey, then he insults me, and now he had physically hurt Mickey twice.  
  
As soon as Mickey was out of the way and I was briefly distracted by it, the rock-hard fist cracked against my nose and underneath my left eye. The pain immediately shot through me as my overdue reaction tried to protect my face. I should have gotten ready for the next blow, or maybe even tried to get one in myself, but I was caught so off guard. But before the other side of my face was hit as well, Mickey came to the rescue.  
  
I don’t know how she did it, but when I finally could see clearly again, she had Devon on the floor in a similar grip to when she had thrown Heather to the floor. Only, this time she was holding his wrists together and had to press down on his lower back with her knee harder.  
  
“Really, when will people start learning they can’t just fuck with me like this?!” She growled and tightened her grip as Devon tried his best to throw her off. It didn’t seem like a difficult task, he was a shit load of muscles compared to her, but she still managed to overpower him. “Dude, seriously, stop trying to fidget away!”  
  
The girl who I had turned down at the counter just minutes before came running up and softly pressed some ice against my face. I felt like an idiot. Not only did I go against what Mickey had told me to do, but I also managed to humiliate myself. My girlfriend was the one who had managed to defeat him, and I had had no input. She was a badass, though. Still, I just embarrassed myself and I knew countless of people had seen.  
  
I watched as Mickey started rummaging through Devon’s back pockets. She pulled out two different knives and something else that was sharp and could easily hurt somebody. She threw her findings a few feet away so that Devon wouldn’t get the chance to reach out and try to hurt her with anything.  
  
“Is there anything else on you right now you’re going to try to hurt me with so you can escape?” She asked him with a menacing scowl. When he didn’t answer, she repeated it louder and pressed her knee more into his back. “I asked, do you have anything else you’re going to try to hurt me with?”  
  
He must have answered something, because she awkwardly reached into his left front pocket, and pulled out two brass knuckles. She threw them with the other weapons she had found and shook her head, “fucking hell, it’s like you’re begging to get arrested.”  
  
Mickey continued to restrain Devon until security came. They didn’t even ask what happened, they already knew who he was and whisked him and his weapons away. Mickey and I weren’t even called in for questioning despite us being a definite part of the fight. After being relieved from her position, she came up to me. The girl was still holding the ice against me, but I barely noticed her presence.  
  
“Are you ok?” I asked Mickey once she was just two steps away. I could still see Devon slapping her and pushing her to the floor.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. He didn’t do any lasting damage,” she shrugged as she closed the space. She took over the ice from the girl, who carefully stepped away, and moved it away a little to take a look. “To you, however… shit, that’s going to leave a definite bruise.”  
  
I didn’t even feel the actual pain until she pressed the ice back on. It was like I could actually feel my eye swelling up as time ticked past. “This is going to be hard to explain to my parents,” I groaned, looking right back at her as she continued to inspect my injury.  
  
“Look at the bright side,” she softly said, “you’re going to look like a badass.”  
  
“Yeah, a badass who got his ass kicked and whose girlfriend was the one to save the day,” I rolled my eyes to the best of my abilities.  
  
“Although I will agree that you’re an idiot for not listening to me and staying out of it, you’re probably one of the only people I know that was willing to take on Devon, other than me of course.”  
  
“I don’t know what came over me,” I groaned, really starting to regret what I had done.  
  
“Just listen to me next time. I know what I’m doing,” she laughed.  
  
“Yeah… I kinda figured that out.”  
  
I was pleasantly surprised when she briefly kissed me. At least her feelings hadn’t changed despite me making a complete fool out of myself.


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine: Freshmen Immaturity

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I was busy trying to get my life in order a little more than I had ever thought I would be doing. Not only was I trying my best to show up to my classes (which still didn’t happen all the time. Everybody slept in sometimes), but I had also spent time working on a resume. For once, I hadn’t procrastinated until it was no longer significant. I wrote the whole thing, had my mom proofread it, and brought it in to Rita’s Italian ice because Jack was still so adamant about me working with him. The only problem was that everybody always wanted to know about my criminal record. We all knew that I probably wasn’t so good at that part… However, it was actually quite surprising. Apparently, I had been _caught_ less often than I had _done_ illegal things. Still, it wasn’t exactly a good image.  
  
Now all I had to do was wait.  
  
I felt like my interview had gone quite well. They asked me what motivated me to work there, which I thought was a very super weird question. Why the hell would I need a specific motivation to work at an ice cream parlor? Did anybody ever really always dream of working in a place like this? No. So, I just mentioned how I was trying to turn my life around. They seemed pretty happy with that response.  
  
The only thing left was to somehow make up for all the lack of work I had done. It was literally nonexistent. We all already knew my GPA was never going to be saved, so what was the point of even trying? Honestly, I didn’t have an answer for that. I was screwed either way. It was at least worth giving it a try.  
  
I was at Alex’s locker with him just before the bell went, waiting for him to collect all the stuff he needed for his next classes. For once, I actually did have the material I needed. That was the first step to take before I even tried to go to all my classes. As much as I enjoyed my little breaks I got so that I could retrieve my textbooks, I had to show I was at least trying just by being prepared.  
  
“You do realize that Jack’s going to be annoying you every second if you happen to get the same shifts as him, right?” Alex laughed as he sloppily dropped one book on the shelf in his locker and grabbed another, which he stuffed into his bag like it was nothing.  
  
“You’re going to make me regret this,” I warned him, leaning against the door of some stranger’s locker.  
  
“Okay, okay,” Alex finally clicked his lock back in place, going through the entire combination except for the last number. “I’m sure he will be the only thing making it bearable.”  
  
“Not helping!” I shook my head and pushed myself back up so that we could walk to our next class together.  
  
However, before we could actually start our way there, Principal Adkins came walking down the hallway. He wasn’t coming from the direction of his office, either meaning he was out looking for someone or had just spoken with somebody. I was about to feel sorry for the kid that got into deep shit this time, when he suddenly changed his course slightly to come up to us.  
  
“Mickey! You’re exactly the person I was looking for,” he greeted warmly… a little _too_ warmly… The only thing going through my mind was ‘oh, fuck’. I had never been approached or gone to the principal for a good reason. I was never praised for my behavior. There was no reason to believe it was going to be any different this time.  
  
“I swear to god, I do not have any drugs on me. Those kids were just pissed because they thought I was a drug dealer, which I obviously am not,” I told him. It was my first reaction. It was true, for some reason all these sophomore kids thought I was some drug dealer that would hook them up with something. I, however, would never have considered that job.  
  
“That’s not what I’m here for.” He shook his head. “I haven’t even heard anything about that. But now I am going to have to search your locker.”  
  
I groaned, scolding myself for just blurting out my first assumption. “You really don’t want to do that, I’m pretty sure there’s some half-eaten sandwich in there from two weeks ago.”  
  
“I’m just going to let it slide this time,” he shrugged it off, straightening out his rectangular glasses, “just because I don’t feel like dealing with it right now. I was, however, going to ask you whether you were willing to help me out for some extra credit.”  
  
“Sounds like a sketchy deal,” I squinted my eyes at him as if it acted like a lie detector, “I’m out.”  
  
“You didn’t even ask what the offer was,” Alex pointed out, giving me a look that told me I at least had to listen to whatever Principal Adkins wanted.  
  
“I’ve been pulled into sketchy shit before, I’m not going to let that happen again!”  
  
“Mickey,” Principal Adkins interrupted before I could say a definite no, “I’m the head of the school, do you really think I would do something that isn’t fully legal and morally acceptable?”  
  
“You’ve obviously never been to a lower class school.” I had been to so many different schools, I had seen my fair share of messed up things. One principal was even the drug dealer of the school while another had committed murder before. Honestly, the way I used to be was considered weak in those areas.  
  
“I promise you it’s school related and not ‘sketchy’,” he put quotation marks around the last word.  
  
“Ok, fine, what do you want me to do?” I crossed my arms. After all, I was trying to be more submissive to school rules and opportunities.  
  
“It will be easier if you come with me and let me explain it all.”  
  
“Yeah… I’ll miss English if I do that… so, no can do.”  
  
“You’ll be dismissed from your classes for the rest of the day,” he used as the last argument to try and convince me.  
  
“Dude, if you had said that at the beginning we wouldn’t even be here anymore!” I exclaimed, no longer caring if there was something wrong behind all of this. For all I cared, he could make me take part in an anti-drug or anti-alcohol campaign. Not only would I get extra credit, but I could skip classes without consequences!  
  
“I’ll be the message-man,” Alex rolled his eyes at my statement as the bell went, “and tell Miss Harper that Mickey’s been excused.”  
  
That was how I followed Principal Adkins into his office for the first time for a reason that actually wasn’t bad. For once, somebody hadn’t sent me there because I was ‘being disruptive’ or ‘wandering around the halls’. It felt weird not having to prepare myself for somebody trying to talk to me and scold me. This was a strange life.  
  
“Ok, so, the health teacher unfortunately fell ill and won’t be back for another few weeks,” he started explaining to me as he picked up a pile of paper.  
  
I couldn’t help but snort, making him look at me disapprovingly. “What?” I defended. “I just think it’s a little ironic that the health teacher ‘fell ill’. Don’t you?”  
  
The look continued for a few seconds longer before he tapped the paper against the table to straighten it out. “As I was saying, the health teacher won’t be here for another few weeks, but we do need to teach sex-ed to our Freshmen. So, I was hoping you’d be willing to take that over. It will only be a few lessons, you’ll be able to miss your lessons that happen at the same time, and you’ll get extra credit.”  
  
“Ok, so you want me to teach them how all the sperm-egg thing goes down. It’s been awhile since I’ve been taught that… I don’t actually remember ever having been taught that… but that might have been my fault,” I replied getting a glimpse at the documents he was holding. There were diagrams on there, _alright_. It was an entire lesson plan.  
  
“Yeah, that and some more practical questions they might have.”  
  
“That’s assuming I can answer those questions,” I pointed out, knowing exactly what he had just implied. “You do realize that the only reason why I’ve been acting out is because of my crushing insecurity since I’m still a virgin, right?”  
  
“Oh, um…” He froze up and slowly put the papers back down, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed that you… it’s just that… um…”  
  
“Ha, I’m just messing with you,” I laughed in amusement. Something about making people flustered like that was just so hilarious to me. “Just one question, why the hell would you trust me with that. I don’t even trust me with that. I don’t know what I’m doing.”  
  
“Because I have faith in you, Mickey.” He smiled and handed me the paper.  
  
My task was to read through everything, understand what it all meant, and in half an hour I already had to stand in front of all these fifteen-year-old kids. I knew it was going to be horrible to even be in their presence, but it felt a lot more interesting than sitting in English class and trying my best not to fall asleep. I still had no idea what book we were reading despite the fact that we were supposed to have read it completely. So, just drawing some freaky-ass diagrams seemed way easier.  
  
All the kids stared at me with wide eyes when they saw me walk into their classroom with nobody else in tow. They were even more surprised when they saw me taking the place of a teacher, and all their whispering started. I never considered myself somebody who everybody knew at school; I wasn’t some popular jock or cheerleader. However, my actions might have quickly pushed me up that list. Everybody here knew who I was.  
  
“What’s up, little shits?” I grinned, sitting down on the swivel-chair with wheels and putting my feet up on the desk.  
  
They all just stared at me until one boy in the back slowly raised his hand and started speaking, “um, why are you here? We’re supposed to have class now.”  
  
“Exactly,” I put my feet back down and leaned onto my elbows, “it’s why I’m here.”  
  
“But… we … have health class now?”  
  
“Once again, exactly,” I nodded and picked up the whiteboard marker, turning my body slightly to the board itself after I had gotten up, “I’m here to teach you how to draw a penis-- sorry, _male reproductive system.”_  
  
The entire class burst out into giggles. Of course, they were still young teens, it was to be expected. I had long gone past that whole phase, but I knew for a fact that if I said the word around Alex or Jack (maybe even Rian), they wouldn’t be able to control their laughter either. But those kids were just immature, even the one I was dating.  
  
“It’s no laughing matter,” I shook my head and picked up the specific piece of paper that had the labeled diagram that I needed to copy on the board, “you need to know what horrors you’re getting yourself into. It’s super important to know where the vas deferens is when you’re having sex.”  
  
I thought it was pretty funny, but since they didn’t know what I was talking about, they didn’t get it. Of course there was no other reason to know exactly how all that stuff worked except for school. All that really mattered was the actual physical part. It wasn’t like every time I had sex, I went and thought about all the things that actually happened in our bodies. It didn’t matter one bit.  
  
Oh well, it wasn’t hurting me. At least I was trying to do something good for the community.  
  
I really thought I'd never ever say that.


	40. Chapter Forty: Arrested for Ice Cream

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I double checked behind myself to make sure that my car was locked. It was the weekend, meaning that the entire parking lot was filled with cars. Everybody was either going out shopping with their friends or family, or they were out going to get something to eat. While I was going to do something very similar to the latter, I was all by myself. But not for long.  
  
Since Mickey, Jack, and Rian were working I didn’t really have many people to hang out with. Of course, I could go over to another friend’s house or hang out with Zack, but I decided I would meet up with my three friends at the ice cream parlor. They didn’t exactly know that I was going to show up, but I had done it quite often before. I usually came to try and see if I could get myself some free ice cream, especially when Jack was working. This time, though, I came to see if Mickey would want to grab some super late lunch with me after her first shift ended.  
  
While I usually was always late, I came a little earlier this time just in case she had a different shift than I thought she did. That way, I’d at least be able to spend some time with her while she was working. They usually didn’t mind me hanging out around the counter, especially when Rian was the one in charge.  
  
I pushed open one of the glass doors and walked in. The first time I had ever brought Mickey here was when her car broke down in the rain and she had tried to run away. I would have thought she would have hated this place ever since, but now she was working here. Instead of sitting in a booth looking miserable, she was now handing over some change to a customer.  
  
“Hey,” I greeted and leaned against the class display that showed off all the ice cream.  
  
Mickey looked up at me in slight surprise, a smile forming on her lips. “Hi, what can I get you?”  
  
Since she was acting like she was still helping a customer, which was me, I decided to tease her a bit as well. I nodded a little and looked around like there was somebody in the back who I needed. “Well, there’s this girl I really like that works here and I was hoping to score a date with her. I was wondering if you knew where she was.”  
  
“Hmm…” she shrugged and looked up at the clock to check the time. “I might be able to help you out, but I don’t end for another twenty minutes.”  
  
“Girl, who said I was talking about you?” I snapped my fingers sassily, my lips pouted a little.  
  
“No free ice cream for you,” she retorted and crossed her arms.  
  
“No, Mickey, no,” I whined, stretching out so I was now covering the entire curved glass out of exasperation, “Mic _key!_ Ice cream!”  
  
“Plus, it comes out of my paycheck. I need that money.”  
  
“Jack,” I groaned as he came from the back and stood next to Mickey, “please.”  
  
“You should have asked me first, bro. I can’t help you out anymore,” Jack excused with a sorry look and grabbed a towel to clean up the counter with the machines on it.  
  
“Mickey! I want ice cream!” I continued to moan like a kid who wasn’t getting a toy they wanted at Target. “The perks of having a girlfriend who works here includes free ice cream! You need to buy my love!”  
  
She laughed and gently shook her head at me while there were definitely a few people in the parlor looking at me weirdly. “If you get one or two scoops, I could ‘accidentally’ give you more. But I can’t get you free ice cream.”  
  
“Fine,” I grumbled and pulled out five dollars.  
  
I proceeded to tell her exactly which flavors I wanted and she started making what I asked for. Like she had promised, she added way more than the usual amount, making my heart fill with glee. I was like a kid at the candy store getting whatever they wanted.  
  
However, Rian happened to walk out just before she could give it to me.  
  
“Mickey, that’s way too much,” he warned her, not even looking in my direction.  
  
She just stared back and handed me my order without looking away. The grin on my face was gigantic as I took it from her, sticking my tongue in it. Only then did Rian look at who she was actually serving.  
  
He took a deep breath as it took everything in him not to get mad, and looked at me. “Ok, I’ll let this one slide, but only because I like you.”  
  
I flashed him another smile and ate my treat in the company of Mickey. Although I did stand there the entire time, there were other customers that would come and she would serve. Jack did the same exact thing whenever there were multiple people waiting. People from school would often recognize me, and I would say hi, but I wouldn’t start a conversation with them. If I would have, I would have been there for hours talking to everybody.  
  
Mickey generally stayed nice to them except for one time. I had to admit that I would have also been fed up if I was the one working and getting the stupid question.  
  
Some guy from our class and his girlfriend came in. The guy ordered first. What he wanted was a normal order. But he wasn’t the problem. The girl was. She was one of those girls that even I couldn’t stand. Sure, she was hot and I totally would have banged her in the past if I was super drunk, but I couldn’t deal with her behavior. She was one of those people a bit too concerned about their physical appearance.  
  
“Do you have anything that’s sugar and dairy free?” She asked. I was waiting for Mickey to snap something back, but what she did was even better.  
  
“We do, actually.” Mickey nodded, something in her eyes telling me she wasn’t actually being as polite as she was trying to portray. “You’re the first person to ask.”  
  
She turned around and pulled out a cup, filling it up with water and put it next to what the guy had ordered. “That’ll be 3.35 please.”  
  
The girl’s mouth dropped open, a small gasp escaping. While you would have expected the guy to at least defend his girlfriend, I could see him desperately trying to hold in his laughter. I, however, didn’t have to hold back at all. Though, I did to be polite and only initially snorted when I saw what Mickey had done and the reaction that she had gotten.  
  
The guy paid the amount, not even letting his girlfriend get a second chance to order something else.  
  
As they walked away, I said, “promise me to never do something like that to me?”  
  
“Nope,” Mickey forced a smile and resumed her position closer to me.  
  
“What, why not?”  
  
“Cause you’re not stupid enough to order something that doesn’t literally use all the ingredients any sort of ice cream needs. Why even come to this place?”  
  
“Okay, I’ll give you that one,” I smirked and looked at the clock. There were still only five more minutes to go. “But I swear to god, if you do anything like that to me ever--cause I say stupid shit occasionally--you’re not coming on tour with us anymore.”  
  
“I’m the one that offered to drive most of the way, it’s your loss.” She raised her hands up in defense.  
  
It was true, in a week and a half, we would be doing an east coast tour. Of course, it wasn’t at the level we wanted to be at yet, but it was a tour. At least we got to play at small venues and bars. It was how we got our name out there. With Mickey coming with us, it would be the first time that we didn’t actually need a parent with us all the time. Of course, our parents still argued that they wanted to come and make sure we didn’t do stupid shit, but they were ok with driving behind us in a different car.  
  
“Only because I don’t want Jack’s mom with us the entire time again,” I joked and looked up at the clock again as if time had just gone by. Just a little while longer and I got to talk to her properly without any interruptions.  
  
Unfortunately, we never got to that. It was like bad karma hit her. Not long after, two police officers entered the shop. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. It was quite normal for officers to enter places like this during a short break. However, they actually came here for another reason.  
  
“Hi, we’re looking for a Monica Kingsley,” one of them immediately said to Mickey. “We were told she would be working here.”  
  
“That’s me,” Mickey replied. I would have thought that she would have put up some sort of fight, but she just owned up immediately.  
  
“Ok, well, we’re out searching for a man named Devon Kline, do you know him?”  
  
“I do!” She nodded, seemingly happy or excited that they were out looking for him. Don’t get me wrong, I hated that guy, but she did have a past with him. Would she ever hate somebody enough to turn them in?  
  
“Good, you’re going to have to come down to the station with us so we can question you,” the same police officer instructed. “Would you please come join us on the other side of the counter.”  
  
Instead of walking to the back and going through the official ‘employees only’ door, she climbed over the counter. While very unnecessary, I figured she did it because she didn’t want them thinking she was going to try to run away. We didn’t need her being arrested now, did we? I was already upset enough that this meant I couldn’t take her out, but it was better than her going to jail.  
  
Yet still, the second police officer pulled out a pair of handcuffs. “We’re going to have to handcuff you for our own safety. However, you’ve been very compliant so far, unlike the other people we have asked to help, so we’ll put your hands to the front instead of the back. It’s more comfortable that way.”  
  
She nodded like she already knew that fact. Thinking about it, she probably did. There was no way this was the first time she was in handcuffs.  
  
Rian came out just as they finished locking it, and he did not look all too happy with what was happening. But he wasn’t angry either, it was more like he was afraid. “Oh my god, Mickey, what did you do now?!”  
  
“Don’t worry,” the first police officer held out a hand to calm him down while the second officer finished off completely with Mickey, “we just need her help to find somebody. The handcuffs are only for safety. We’ve had some other people try to run.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Mickey apologized to me before they took her outside and put her in the back of the cop car.  
  
There were going to be some great rumors as soon as school started again.


	41. Chapter Forty-One: Interrogations and Allegations

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
While I had been in a fair share of police offices, I had never been at the Baltimore Police Department. Somehow, I had never been arrested or detained the first few weeks I moved back here. The first thirteen years, I had been a goody-two-shoes, of course I would have never found my way in here.  
  
The feeling of handcuffs wasn’t all too strange to me, though. I was immune to the sharp feeling of the metal by now. Usually, they would be way tighter trying to keep me from moving in even the slightest bit. I had never resisted arrest before, that wasn’t the problem. However, I often did tend to become a bit clouded and a tad violent. I never hurt a cop or lashed out at them necessarily, but nobody really liked being arrested. I guess you could say I was mad at the situation. This time, however, I was delighted to hear that they were looking for Devon.  
  
As good as he was in bed, that guy was an ass. I knew it when I first started dating him, it was what attracted me to him in the first place. Back then, he was the only type of guy I would ever see myself with. I could keep up with him, and he could keep up with me. Anybody else would think I was too problematic or I would think they were too mellow. However, I knew better now. He was a complete and utter dick, to put it simply.  
  
At first, I was going to let him get away with the shit he pulled, but he went too far at the mall. I had been in fights myself before, whether it be between me and a girl or me and a guy, and I was cool with that. But punching Alex was uncalled for. He still had a slightly bruised eye from it. Alex hadn’t been involved in any way, yet he was the one with the worst consequences.  
  
The handcuffs weren’t taken off until I was brought into a room for questioning. It would have been completely empty if it weren’t for the two chairs placed on either side of a desk with a metal bar on my side. If they had been afraid of me getting away, my handcuffs would have been attached to the bar. There was a mirror to my left, which I knew was only one-sided. As far as I knew, there could have been multiple people watching me right now while I was in the room all by myself.  
  
I just stared around and found a camera in one of the corners, recording my every move until an officer came in to join me. He took the seat across from me and placed some documents and a file in front of him. He flipped through them until he landed on a page that had my name on the top.  
  
“So, Monica, is it?” He clasped his hands together and looked up at me.  
  
In return, I leaned back to keep space between us. “Well, I prefer Mickey, but if you have to call me by my legal name, then yes.”  
  
He nodded and proceeded to look further through what was written down. “I see here that you’ve been convicted multiple times before.”  
  
I nodded and crossed my arms. “Yes, but I’ve been trying to get my life together. Plus, I didn’t come here to discuss myself.”  
  
“True, true,” he agreed and turned to another page that was no longer about me, “I’m just trying to find out your credibility. You know that we can arrest you if you lie, correct?”  
  
“I am willing to tell you everything about Devon, he had it a long time coming.”  
  
“Sounds like you have a personal grudge against him.”  
  
“We used to date,” I explained, hoping to show that I could really have valuable information that could help them, “well, 'date' might be a bit far-fetched. Anyway, I broke up with him because he tried to steal a car--I’m not sure if he was successful. Recently, he hit me and punched my current boyfriend. So, yes, he is not my favorite person right now.”  
  
The officer made a short signal toward the mirror that I probably wasn’t supposed to notice, and promptly another man entered with a notepad. He didn’t approach us fully, staying closer to the wall. However, he did seem ready to listen to the entire questioning.  
  
“This is Detective Jones,” the officer who had been the first to approach me at the ice cream parlor clarified, “he’s just here to take some notes.”  
  
“Ok,” I said, but I first needed to know something else first, “but may I ask why you’re actually looking for Devon?”  
  
The two men shared a look before giving a small nod toward each other. Detective Jones was the one to speak up this time, probably being the one person who was fully indulged in the case, “he’s suspected of murder.”  
  
My eyes went wide. Devon? Murder? No way. He was hostile, he took some crazy-ass drugs that changed his judgment, but he never seemed capable of going so far. Maybe he seemed like a guy who could easily kill a man, but I never thought he actually had the mentality to do so.  
  
My shock became even worse when a photograph was pulled out of the file. I stared at the blonde girl in front of me. It was a photo that must have been taken a while before. Her hair was shorter than I remembered it, but her eyes were just as bright. I could still imagine the last time I had really paid attention to her. The fire had been illuminating her clothes and Jack just couldn’t stop staring at her. It was the same night when I had taken Alex to the backseat of my car while Devon was just a few feet away. Theo.  
  
“Holy shit,” I gasped, the shock still bewildering me.  
  
“Her roommate found her dead in her bedroom. Drug overdose and a stab wound. The last person to have been in the room with her was Devon,” the Detective added. “Him running away from us isn’t really helping his case. It happened a week or so ago.”  
  
“I know her…”  
  
“You do?” The officer took over again. “You’re the first to admit so.”  
  
“Yeah, she used to date Devon before I came into the picture. They probably continued to sleep together when Devon and I were in a relationship. I don’t know if they got back together after that…”  
  
“So, we can confirm they’ve had prior indulgences?”  
  
I nodded, still trying to understand how this asshole who always acted so strong actually killed another human being. “Yeah… but… wait. Did you say a week or so ago? When did it happen?”  
  
“Last week Tuesday,” the officer told me.  
  
“That’s when I had the run-in with him. He was acting out.” A theory was starting to form in my head, trying its best to link everything together. “He was probably on some drugs or something if he went this far.”  
  
“Drugs? Could you tell us which drugs?”  
  
“Honestly, I have no idea. He practically took anything he could get his hands on. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was under the influence of a few too many illegal substances that day. You could probably find them at his apartment… he’s never one to take something without knowing he has a stash somewhere.”  
  
They continued to question me on little details as if trying to crack me open even further. It was like they were afraid that I would hold back information just because I used to ‘date’ Devon. However, all I really wanted was to help them out. I just didn’t know exact details like how long he had known Theo, when they started seeing each other again, which drugs he had taken, how he managed to get all the hard-to-find stuff. All I could tell them was where I believed he kept all his drugs and how he had been acting on the day itself. Although he was quite an aggressive guy, it was strange for him to lash out at Alex like that. He wasn’t the jealous type, all he cared about was his pride. After finding a new girl to play around with, his pride could no longer have been affected by my words.  
  
The officers were nice enough to let me use the phone to call somebody to pick me up. Since I had been brought the station and had driven with Rian to work that day, there was no way for me to go home. There was no point going back to the ice cream parlor anyway, my shift was long over.  
  
I only had a few numbers that I had memorized, but we can all guess which one I choose. Calling either of my parents would be a nightmare. Although I wasn’t at the station for something I had done, they would freak the fuck out and give me another lecture. Calling Michael also wouldn’t work. He’d punish me in a way that was worse than just an ‘understanding’ lecture. I felt like Rian’s little heart wouldn’t be able to handle it if he had to come. So, Alex it was.  
  
Just fifteen minutes later, his car came rolling up.  
  
I was sat on the curb when he arrived, already awaiting him in the parking lot. It wasn’t that I wasn’t allowed to stay in the police station and wait, I just preferred not to. So, as soon as he approached and I recognized his car, I stood up and walked up to the door as he came to a halt.  
  
“So, they didn’t find a reason to arrest you as well?” He immediately teased as I got in and closed the door.  
  
“They actually weren’t looking for me, so no.” I rolled my eyes a little and put on my seatbelt. “This is the first time I’ve ever walked out of a place like this and not gotten into some deep shit.”  
  
“But why are they looking for Devon?” He questioned next and slowly started to drive off. “What, did he steal a kid’s bike? Or maybe steal some flowers from an old lady’s garden?”  
  
I shrugged, trying to humor his joke, but not being able to do so. “He murdered someone.”  
  
“What?!” Alex yelped as he harshly braked when we approached a red light.  
  
“Yeah… remember that one girl I hooked Jack up with, Theo?”  
  
“Blonde hair, way out of Jack’s league?”  
  
I nodded in confirmation. “Yep, that’s the one. I don’t know why he did it, but my guess is drugs.”  
  
“Holy shit. That could have been you!”  
  
“I guess so. They did rekindle the ‘fire’ they once had, so… guess I’m just lucky to have gotten away,” I continued without too much emotion. I still too shocked to really know how I felt about it all. “Although, it did happen the day he gave you this…”  
  
I leaned forward to reach out and carefully ran my thumb along the fading bruise on the far side of his face. Since we were stopped, it was anything but dangerous. He turned to look at me, allowing me to inspect the tender yellow skin.  
  
However, ruining our moment was a car behind us that started to honk loudly. Alex snapped his head back forward and saw that the light was on green.  
  
As he quickly started back up, he cursed, “the fuck do you guys want from me?!”  
  
When he calmed down a few seconds later, I piped up again. “Let’s not tell Jack about it, ok?”  
  
He nodded subconsciously before freezing mid-nod. “Wait, why not?”  
  
“I don’t want him to feel guilty,” I explained. “I know he’s only had a one night stand with her, but I’ve seen people beat themselves up about it despite not having anything to do with it. Most act all cool the first few days, but slowly they spiral downward.”  
  
“Ok, ok. I’m just more surprised you’ve been around murders before.”  
  
“Well, suicides, drug overdoses, and yes, alleged murders. But let’s just not tell Jack ok? I’m cool with him knowing what Devon did, just not to who.”  
  
“Ok, promise.”


	42. Chapter Forty-Two: Long Lists are Subjective

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
“Are you boys going to stay over for dinner?” Ms. Kathi was stood at the top of the basement stairs, looking down at the four of us.  
  
We all looked towards her while packing up, but before any of us who didn’t live in this house could answer, Rian piped up, “nope, they’ve got to be going home.”  
  
“Oh, maybe some other time then?” She asked with a smile, to which we all nodded respectfully.  
  
It was only when she left that we all turned to Rian and gave him a disapproving look. He always did this. As soon as band practice was over, he’d push us out of his house. He even hated it if Mickey stayed over and much rather liked to go over to her house instead. It made us seem like the assholes who never wanted to stay over and eat Ms. Kathi’s food. By now, she must have realized that it was always Rian who solely came up with the answer, but still. We all still felt a little guilty.  
  
“Really, dude?” Zack shook his head and crossed his arms having moved all his stuff to its designated place and having picked up his backpack already.  
  
“What?” Rian shrugged as if he had no clue he had done it again. “You said you had a test tomorrow.”  
  
“Which I ‘studied’ for in the weekend.”  
  
“I’m just trying to help you pass,”’ Rian continued to defend himself. “Either way it’s too late to change the answer now.”  
  
Zack just chuckled deeply, by now knowing that Rian always tried to get us out of his house as soon as band practice was over. We were used to it. Even Jack was all ready to go, his backpack already hanging from his shoulder. Only I was still hanging back. And no, it was not because I actually had permission to stay here, I was included in the group of people that were being forced to leave immediately. I just wasn’t exactly finished.  
  
“That includes you.” Rian patted me on my back, but was actually subtly trying to push me in the direction of the others.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, hang on,” I mumbled as I finished turning the last peg into place.  
  
“Ri, he’s gotta make it perfect for his girlfriend!” Jack blurted out with a smirk tugging at his lips.  
  
I glared at him, coincidentally just having finished putting the last new string on Mickey’s guitar that she had left here. She never asked me to change the strings, nor did I ever tell her that I was going to, but I decided to do it as a surprise. Giving back the guitar she had forgotten here kinda seemed like a shitty thing to do if the strings were still fucked up. So, I went out and bought the strings myself and used the last half hour of our band practice to change them all.  
  
“I just needed to make sure the strings aren’t on too loose,” I retorted, picking up the guitar by his neck and rolling my eyes as I went to pick up my bag as well. “I haven’t even tuned them yet.”  
  
“Well, then it’s not perfect,” Jack pointed out accusingly.  
  
“And…?” I shrugged as I got another slight push from Rian. “By the time I get this to her, it will be completely out of tune again.”  
  
“You’ve got a point there…” he admitted as we were all being shoved up the stairs and out of the house.  
  
Just like that, we were outside.  
  
I wasn’t intending on giving the guitar to Mickey yet despite the fact that I was taking it with me and not leaving it down in the basement. In fact, we had already said our goodbyes for the day. However, when I stood there in Rian’s driveway, my car just a few feet away, and looked at Mickey’s house, something seemed off. It wasn’t a gut feeling, it was something that I saw. Her car was outside, meaning she had to be home, but all the lights in the house were off. Even if she had gone out for a walk or something, there would have been a couple of lights on. The last time the house looked so dark was when nobody lived there.  
  
Jack snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. “Earth to Alex, you ok there?”  
  
“Yeah…” I nodded and tried to shake it off. “Something’s wrong, all the lights are off.”  
  
“Nobody’s home probably.” He started dragging me to the driver’s door of my car, but I wasn’t cooperating with him.  
  
Instead, I shook my head and wriggled my arm out of his grip, staring my way across the road. “Where else would she be?”  
  
“I dunno. It’s Mickey. She can be anywhere doing anything.”  
  
While that used to be true, it wasn’t so true anymore. She no longer hung out with her old group of friends (which was true ever since she broke up with Devon, but they were completely out of the picture after she helped out with the police investigation). She didn’t just randomly go out shopping, she wasn’t working, and she wasn’t hanging out with us. The only place she could have been was in that house.  
  
“Wait, dude,” Jack called after me, “you’re my ride home!”  
  
“So, come along,” I told him as I stupidly stopped in the middle of the road and turned to look at him.  
  
“And watch you guys sucking face? No thanks.”  
  
“Ok, well, I’m not going home right now,” as I continued to refuse I turned on the heel of my right foot to continue.  
  
“Alex,” Jack whined, “it’s too far to walk!”  
  
“Sorry, man,” I apologized half-heartedly as I started up the path to Mickey’s front door.  
  
Lucky for him, Zack decided to step in and help him out. “Ugh, I’ll take you. Thank you very much, Alex!”  
  
“No problem.” I gave back a sarcastic smile and went to ring the doorbell.  
  
But there was one problem. The doorbell didn’t work. I pressed it once, but couldn’t hear it ring. The first time, I assumed I just hadn’t pressed the button properly. But it happened the second time as well. Naturally, I then pressed it like a crazy motherfucker, but still it didn’t work. Or at least, not that I could hear. So, I just walked right into the house after trying the door and seeing that it was unlocked, confirming that somebody was most likely home.  
  
“Mickey?” I called out, not wanting to go in too far in case something horrible had happened. I didn’t need to be like that one stupid person in a horror movie who noticed something strange and had to go and investigate despite all the bad signs.  
  
I just heard a groan come from somewhere on the ground floor, but it wasn’t loud enough for me to locate its whereabouts from where I was standing at the door that was still open wide. So, I shouted again, “where are you?”  
  
“Kitchen,” she grumbled, sounding like she was in extreme discomfort.  
  
I expected to see a shocking scene in front of me, but all I saw was Mickey is a sweatshirt and shorts, her hair up in a messy bun, sprawled out on the floor, a spoon in her hand, a half-eaten tub of ice cream in the other, and many other empty containers surrounding her.  
  
I chuckled lightly at the sight as she pouted at me. “What happened in here?”  
  
“I don’t know,” she continued to pout and groan, “the power in the entire house shut off and I can’t find out which fuse blew. All the ice cream was going to melt... We have a shit-ton of ice cream. Why do we have so much ice cream?”  
  
“I’ll happily help you finish it all,” I offered and remembered I was still holding the guitar, which she couldn’t see because it was just behind the small wall, “but I think the first thing to do it go over to Rian’s and ask his step-dad if he can help.”  
  
“Please.”  
  
“Take care of my stuff while I go, ok?” I stepped into the kitchen and put my bag and the guitar next to her.  
  
She looked at the objects and frowned before sitting up. “Wait, what’s this?”  
  
“I’ll tell you later,” I excused and started my journey back to Rian’s.  
  
To my luck, his step-dad had just come home and I hadn’t made some empty promise to Mickey. Rian wasn’t all too glad to see me, but when I said it was an emergency, he was just a bit more cool about it. Of course, I felt guilty to ask for his step-dad’s help right after he got home, but I didn’t know shit about how all the electricity stuff worked either. But he was willing to help.  
  
When I came back, he immediately went to try and fix it while I went to join Mickey back in the kitchen. She already had an extra spoon while she stuffed another bite in her mouth with a fed-up scowl. I sat across for her, picking up the extra spoon and digging in. My attitude toward the ice cream problem was probably what her's had been like when she had started this conquest.  
  
“Explain,” she stated as I let the ice cream melt in my mouth.  
  
“What?” I questioned, as I tried to get some more of the soft treat.  
  
“Guitar.”  
  
“Oh, I was fixing it up,” I said through bites.  
  
“Why would you do that?” She pushed the container towards me in disgust and looked at the red instrument.  
  
“Because it was making me sad seeing it standing there every band practice.”  
  
“But you know I’m never going to play it.”  
  
“I can teach you,” I smirked and pulled the guitar into my lap, only to be met with the string sounding all over the place when I strummed it, “when I tune it properly…”  
  
She raised an eyebrow at me and shook her head. Of course, I fixed it because I wanted to do something for her, not because I felt bad for the guitar. The guitar being in Rian’s basement just happened to give me an advantage. Showing up at Mickey’s door with some strings one day didn’t seem as special as bringing her the entire guitar. However, she didn’t seem as happy with my surprise as I had hoped.  
  
“You should really stop paying for and giving me all these things,” she explained as if she could tell that I was a little disappointed in the lack of excitement on her part. “You paid for my lunch when I ran away from home, you pay for everything on our dates. Somehow I’m going to have to pay you all back for this.”  
  
“You pay back for it by being an amazing girlfriend,” I replied, leaving my spoon in the ice cream tub and taking hold of her hand instead.  
  
“But that’s the other problem, I don’t know how to be an amazing girlfriend.”  
  
“You’re doing just fine, Micks.”  
  
I wanted to lean in and kiss her, it was what I was doing. She even seemed completely ok with it. But before I could go through with it, the lights all turned on and the fridge started humming again. Rather than letting me finish leaning in and going in for the kiss, Mickey pulled away completely and threw her hand up in the air.  
  
“And then there was light!” She exclaimed in triumph and grinned brightly, standing up in excitement.  
  
Seeing her so happy was a good alternative to kissing her, though.  
  
She thanked Rian’s step-dad when he came to check up on us in the kitchen. Of course, he said that he was glad to help, but Mickey was still grateful nonetheless. The only sad part was that all the ice cream that hadn’t been eaten was not completely ruined and couldn’t be frozen anymore.  
  
Slowly, I stood up too, unsure whether to just leave the mess on the floor or to start cleaning it up. However, I didn’t need to think about it anymore after Rian’s step-dad had left. As soon as the door had shut again, Mickey was stood in front of me and she had finished what I had started. Her arms circled around my neck when her lips were on mine. Since it had been my intention to do this from the beginning, I was fully prepared to place my hands on her waist. It took more in me to not let my hands slip to her ass than I was willing to admit.  
  
Just like before, though, she suddenly broke away, only this time silently looking in the direction of the stairs for a few seconds. “Oh my god, my music’s playing upstairs again! Yes!”  
  
She grabbed hold of my hand and started pulling me along.  
  
My heart pounded at the idea of going into her bedroom. I didn’t know why. It was just-- I had never been in it before. I knew Rian had, but it still seemed so otherworldly. It was like this whole other side of her would be revealed to me. A bedroom could hold so many secrets. I couldn’t help but wonder what hers looked like. Mickey was one of those people that could easily have one wall painted black and the other a deep dark red. I wondered if she had just as many posters as I did.  
  
Her room was strangely… _normal_. The walls were white and empty except for the one above her desk that had multiple sketches in different media. A queen sized bed was pushed up against the opposite wall, the sheets askew but made up nonetheless. As expected there was a stand for her guitar close to her window, but the guitar was still on the floor in the kitchen with all the ice cream. The speakers booming music were on her desk, her iPod plugged into them. Her room was more ‘normal’ than mine was. I was expecting something extravagant.  
  
As Mickey turned down the music, I looked around to find any sign that showed Mickey’s rebellion other than the ideas for new tattoos. It was almost like a lost cause until something caught my eye. I walked over to the headboard of her bed and sat down on the mattress. On the right bedpost, there were multiple small lines engraved into it like a tally mark. I tried to count how many there were as my fingers grazed them. Some were small, others crooked, making it difficult to estimate. There must have been over thirty.  
  
“Which one am I?” I joked and looked in Mickey’s direction to already see her looking at me.  
  
She shook her head and softly said, “you’re not one of them.”  
  
I continued my joke but couldn’t help the small smile that formed on my lips knowing that she hadn’t considered me as another minuscule line. “What, was I too bad to be added?”  
  
Again, she shook her head to reject my statement. Her mouth opened like she was going to say something, but she decided against it and closed it. I noticed how she suddenly didn’t make eye contact anymore and turned around to act like she was busy doing something else.  
  
“What?” I asked, keeping my tone warm and comforting so she’d tell me what was bothering her.  
  
Her shoulders raised as she took a deep breath in. “I-- I discontinued that list four years ago.”  
  
The thought that the only reason I wasn’t a tally was that she just didn’t count that way anymore instead of thinking of me as different didn’t even cross my mind. All I cared about was that the list obviously upset her.  
  
I stood up and carefully walked up to her. “You don’t have to be ashamed of that list, not around me.”  
  
“I’m not ashamed,” she snapped back. But she didn’t stay mad, she turned quiet. If I hadn’t been so close, I wouldn’t have heard her speak. “Alex, that’s two years of my life. That’s when I was thirteen and fourteen. What do you think happened over the next six years?”  
  
“So what? That’s what happened the past eight years. As far as I know, you might have already brought your average down in the past few weeks.”  
  
“Really?” She snorted, her anger making its appearance again and any advances she had made to turn toward me were reversed as she stood straight towards her wall full of drawings. “You make me feel worse _and_ try to guilt trip me? Well, thank you very much.”  
  
“I’ll admit that that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head,” I apologized, beating myself up about the fact that I could never find the right wording to comfort her. It was like I was trying to speak too much in metaphors, but was constantly making the wrong ones. “What I meant with that is that the past doesn’t matter. It’s what you decide to do from now on that matters.”  
  
“But it will always be a part of me and most people aren’t all too keen on it."  
  
“I’m not most people.”  
  
I decided that trying to kiss her wasn’t going to work this time. Something else had to close this off. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her from behind, giving her a peck on the cheek before resting my chin on her shoulder. She accepted my embrace although she didn’t lean into it. But I blamed that on this being a new experience for her. Sometimes she didn’t know how to act to show that she accepted an apology, especially in a way like this. However, she didn’t push me off, and that was good enough for me.  
  
“You know, you’re going to have to draw one for me, right?” I whispered as I looked at all her creations. It ranged from dragons to intricate flowers all the way to weird doodles.  
  
“Like I don’t procrastinate enough already,” she laughed.


	43. Chapter Forty-Three: Unacknowledged Trouble

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
“I’m actually quite pleased with the results this time.” Mr. Archer, my Geography teacher, forced a smile as he handed back our graded tests. “Of course, there are some disappointing results, but overall this one went quite well.”  
  
I was leaning back in my chair, my arms crossed as I waited for him to walk past and hand over my grade. There was nothing to worry about, I knew I had aced the test, I already knew when I was taking it. Everybody around me was already freaking out, trying to find those extra points that could boost their grade a little. But why would I have the need to do so too? I just wanted to receive the paper and leave the class, but I still had ten minutes to go.  
  
Those minutes just seemed to drag on and on. I literally had nothing to distract me in that class, and it wasn’t a good thing. Instead I was bored, doodling in a notebook or just staring out in front of me. Rian happened to be in the same class, but he wasn’t sat anywhere close to me. Not like he actually would have let me get distracted by anything. We had assigned seating. Yes. A fucking senior class had assigned seating. I was put all the way in the front, right in the center of the row, while Rian was somewhere more in the back. Apparently, Mr. Archer could keep an eye on me that way. It was complete and utter bullshit.  
  
I just wanted to get that test and leave.  
  
Finally, his stupid-ass shoes walked towards my seat, coming from behind me. Unlike with everybody else, he briefly slowed down as he slid my test on my table.  
  
“Meet me after class,” he mumbled so only I could hear and continued to the next row of students.  
  
I frowned as he left with no further clarification. With the torture I was already going through, there was no need to keep me at school longer than necessary. Trying to find an answer to the madness, I looked down at the bundle of paper only to see it was upside down. I decided to check if the first page would give anything away, maybe he had left a comment. But when I flipped the test over, I wasn’t expecting the large F in the top right corner. It wasn’t like my GPA could be ruined any further, but I had only gotten a grade this low by simply not showing up.  
  
“The fuck?” I muttered to myself. I knew I had aced it, yet still I had managed to fail. Even flicking through the test, I still couldn’t find where I had gone wrong. Yes, there were crosses everywhere, only minimal check-marks, but I couldn’t find what was wrong with my answers.  
  
Honestly, ignoring my self-confidence, I couldn’t even find one thing that was actually wrong. It made me doubt myself in a way I’d never done before. Sure, I didn’t exactly study, but I actually happened to be in the classes necessary for this subject.  
  
“Let me see that, will you?” I told my neighbor, who I could see had an A on his test. Without waiting for permission, I grabbed it away from him and started comparing my answers to his.  
  
“The fuck?” I repeated, pointing at a question that was asking for a simple definition. “That’s literally what I wrote!”  
  
“Maybe you shouldn’t cheat then,” the guy ripped his test from my grasp, “you can fail because of that too, you know.”  
  
“Dude, no teacher trusts me. He was literally watching everything I did, I couldn’t have cheated. This is just a textbook answer.”  
  
“Not my problem,” he shrugged and went back to discussing his grade with his friends.  
  
There was no way I was not on edge for the rest of the class. Despite there only being a few minutes left, I had to count back from ten multiple times to remind myself to keep my cool. The many inappropriate sentences were waiting to burst out, but I knew better. This wasn’t simply a teacher making a mistake. Something was going on and I had to keep my anger and energy for when I was confronted with it. Shooting my shots now would only give him a head start.  
  
So I sat there impatiently, tugging on my own hair and tapping my foot as I stared at one spot on the floor. All the noise surrounding me was blocked out until interrupted by the school bell notifying everybody that the school day had ended.  
  
You can bet your ass that I still tried to sneak out along with all the other students. I made sure not to be the first one to charge towards the door, but also not to be too careful. The sweet spot was just before everybody started clogging up the exit. So, that’s when I left. But, of course, Mr. Archer spotted me before I could take my last step towards freedom.  
  
“Mickey,” he called out sternly, “I asked you to stay back.”  
  
With a roll of my eyes, I sighed and trudged over to his desk, which he was leaning against as he watched everybody leave. His arms were crossed and he barely acknowledged me as I stood opposite of him. It seemed like I could sneak away again, but his straight look just told me he’d notice if I even flinched.  
  
Rian happened to be the last one leaving the classroom. He hung his backpack from his shoulder as he walked past. “I’ll text Alex to come wait with me outside the classroom for you instead of your locker.”  
  
I hummed in response. Nothing could distract me from this battle.  
  
Mr. Archer didn’t say a word until Rian left the classroom and he shut the door so we were isolated. As he walked back towards his desk, he finally spoke, “so… what was the reason why I asked you to stay again?”  
  
I glared at him as he was acting oblivious, and pulled out my test to wave in front of his face. Instead of answering him verbally, I pointed towards the large aggressive red F taking up the entire upper right corner.  
  
“Oh, right.” He nodded and resumed his position that consisted of his legs being lightly crossed. “That grade isn’t all too good, is it?”  
  
“No, especially since you didn’t grade it properly.” I pinned the test to his chest. He could have it back until he gave me the grade I deserved.  
  
“Now, don’t you think that’s a bit out of place to say? How dare you accuse me of marking it wrong.” Yet he still took the test from my hands.  
  
“Don’t try to play me,” I snarled, resisting the urge the punch his fake oblivious face that was hiding a smirk. “I compared it to somebody else’s. I had the same answers they had and they got an A. I know for a fact that this isn’t because you believe I cheated.”  
  
He looked down at the pages, his eyes not even moving as he acted like he was reading. “Oh, I see what you mean now. My mind must have probably been busy with… _other_ things.”  
  
“I don’t give a fuck what was on your mind, you’re going to correct this.”  
  
“Hmm… that’s not as easy as you make it seem.”  
  
“The hell it isn’t as easy!” I was more than close to blowing up. “You fucking take a pen and fucking correct the mistakes you fucking made.”  
  
“How about this,” he put the test beside him on the desk, making it seem like it wasn’t an important item in our conversation, “we make a deal.”  
  
“How about this? You just fucking correct it right now so I can go on with my day.”  
  
“Mickey, Mickey, Mickey… this is not going to work out. You have to earn that.”  
  
“I answered the questions correctly, that’s all I needed to do,” I told him.  
  
But then he gave me a look, a look I recognized all too well. His eyes flickered down and back up, his lip bitten just slightly. It was only then that I noticed what he actually wanted from me. He wasn’t just distracted by anything while grading, he was distracted by me; distracted by imagining my body. This was the just only way for him to get me to stay back.  
  
“Oh hell, no!” I rejected what he was implying with a large swiping gesture of my hand and a shake of my head. “I am not sleeping with you.”  
  
If this had been offered to me at the beginning of the school year, I would have taken the opportunity without hesitation. I might have even been the one to initiate it. Because, don’t get me wrong. Mr. Archer wasn’t a bad looking guy. He was a fairly young teacher, so he was still a good kind of fashionable. His stubble framed his face nicely, accentuating his other features. He simply was a hot guy. A hot guy I’d fuck now? No.  
  
“What?” He sounded as if he was appalled by what I was suggesting, but it was nothing of the like. “Why not?”  
  
“Because that’s wrong on so many levels,” I laughed deeply more out of discomfort and astonishment than anything else. “You’re my teacher, which is wrong. You can’t use your authority against me. I have a boyfriend, so that would be considered cheating. And you’re asking me by giving me an F, which is the lamest pick-up line I’ve ever heard of.”  
  
“We can easily ignore all those things.”  
  
“It’s literally illegal,” I repeated as an excuse.  
  
“Never seemed to stop you before,” he retorted, still set on his goal.  
  
I wanted nothing more than to scream at him, to tell him he was being fucking disgusting. I’d bet my life on the fact that he put me in the front row in the middle, right in front of his desk, just so he could watch me during class; so he had something to get off to later on in the day. It was horrifying and I was not cool with it.  
  
“Still going to be a no from me.” I shrugged, knowing that Rian and Alex were just a door away. “If you even try something, I can scream and my friends are just outside.”  
  
“You see, I don’t think you want to do that.” His smirk finally found its way onto his face as he used his last move. He picked up my test and slowly moved it back into my hands as he pointed at the grade. “I think you want nothing more than to fix this.”  
  
I stared at the meaningless letter. It was only one grade. It wasn’t like it was a gamechanger for me.  
  
“Wouldn’t it be a shame if all your future tests just don’t happen to go all that well?” He added as more blackmail.  
  
“Oh…” I breathed out and let my composure change. I licked my lips and flashed him the eyes I used to give all the guys I wanted in my bed that night. I even trailed my hands up his chest, enticing him. “So you want me to deserve those grades?”  
  
“Exactly.” His smirked intestified.  
  
“Well… then…” I whispered seductively before grabbing hold of his shoulders and jumping off the table I had sat on. He was stupid to fall for my trick. In one swift motion, I kneed him in the balls and pushed him back.  
  
He buckled over in pain and groaned loudly. But I couldn’t enjoy his suffering. I rushed out of the classroom as soon as I had the chance, my test still in my hands. Alex and Rian were waiting outside, just like promised, looking up as I suddenly threw the door open.  
  
“What was that about--?” Rian started asking, but I plainly ignored him.  
  
I was bolting straight down the hall despite one of the boys calling out my name. It was only a matter of seconds until Alex ran to catch up with me.  
  
“Mickey,” he put a hand on my shoulder to try and calm me down, “what's going on?”  
  
I literally pushed him off, causing him to yelp out an ‘ouch’ and a ‘the fuck’ as he held the arm I had tugged to get rid of him. But before the realization hit me that I had just hurt Alex, I was already at my destination. I immediately turned to the reception desk, I ignored the woman who had helped me on my first day of school, and went straight into the Principal’s office. There was no time to be bothered about him possibly being busy or in a meeting.  
  
Slamming the door shut, I stomped up to his large wooden desk. I was fuming; my eyes were cold, my breathing was heavy, and my hand was clutching the worthless piece of paper too strongly.  
  
“Mickey,” Mr. Adkins smiled sweetly, putting down the fountain pen he had been writing with, “what can I help you with today.”  
  
“You can fucking fire Mr. Archer,” I scowled. I had already gone way past losing my temper, there was no going back.  
  
“And why is that?”  
  
“He’s trying to manipulate me into having sex with him.”  
  
He frowned, but did not have the reaction I wanted him to have. He was too calm and not interested enough. “Okay… how did he do this?”  
  
“He gave me an F,” I hurled the paper at his desk and crossed my arms.  
  
He raised his eyebrows and nodded softly. “And this has to do with that because…?”  
  
My face fell. My anger boiled even more, if that was even possible. “He gave me an undeserved F. I compared it to another student’s test. Same answers, but he got an A.”  
  
“That’s not good, is it?”  
  
“And now he says he’s going to continue giving me an F no matter what if I don’t have sex with him. That’s fucking disgusting.”  
  
He just nodded and took a look at the test, not saying another word.  
  
“You don’t fucking care, do you?” I seethed, slamming my hands onto the desk, causing him to slowly look up.  
  
“I can’t do anything without proof,” he shrugged and resumed with ‘investigating’ the test.  
  
“That’s your motherfucking proof!” I yelled, picking up the test and throwing it down once again.  
  
Yet, he shook his head. “This only shows favoritism, nothing else.”  
  
“Are you fucking with me!?” I couldn’t keep my cool even remotely anymore. You could probably hear my shouting down the hall. “Oh wait, no. I get it. You don’t fucking want this on your hands. You don’t fucking want a scandal. Sure, I don’t blame you. You like to think your school is fucking perfect. Well, let me tell you, it isn’t. There are sexual predators working at your school, you have severe bullying happening just feet away. But what do you care? You’re behind a closed door and don’t give a fuck. Oh, but you tried to help the out-of-line girl who realized how messed up society was. But you didn’t fucking do that to help me, you do that so you look like the good guy. Fuck you and fuck this entire school. I should have left when I had the chance.”  
  
With my last word, I left the room. The last door I had to slam was the one that led from the reception to the hall. My anger was fully out, there was nothing stopping me. When the door shut, I could hear the glass windows in it shattering behind me. But I didn’t care, it would only give the fucking school an excuse to start an ‘open door’ policy to seem even more transparent.  
  
My name was shouted by my two friends again, but I ignored it just like before. I stormed off to my car and hopped into the driver side, throwing my bag in the passenger seat. I hoped to drive off and go to wherever until I calmed down a little. However, some pesky little brown haired boy managed to jump into the passenger seat and throw my bag in the backseat like he had been trained to do it.  
  
“Ok, what’s got you mad enough to fucking shatter a window like that?” Alex asked, sounding out of breath yet still managing to use a light tone to try and cheer up the mood.  
  
“You really do not want to be asking me questions right now, Alex,” I growled and struggled to put my keys in the ignition with the adrenaline shaking through me. Principal Adkins had asked me more than enough ambiguous questions for a whole lifetime.  
  
“No, but seriously. You haven’t gotten mad enough to physically hurt me in ages, if ever.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter.” I finally got the keys in the ignition and turned on the engine. But before I could switch the gear into reverse, Alex put his hand over mine and prevented me from doing it.  
  
“It obviously does. I’m not going to let you keep this to yourself. I’m here to listen.”  
  
“No, it really isn’t important.” I smiled sarcastically, summarizing what the principal had just told me.  
  
He shook his head. “I don’t believe that.”  
  
“This school fucking sucks. It might even suck more than the one I went to where all the teachers were drug dealers!” At least they showed how shitty they were and didn’t try to conceal it.  
  
“I know it does,” Alex agreed, his hand still firmly on mine. It was like he knew exactly what I was thinking of right now. “But we only have a few more months to go and we’re free. If you had left yet again, you’d get stuck in another shit school, and you’d have to repeat another year. It would be a never-ending cycle.”  
  
“I’d just drop out,” I retorted and let my grip on the shifter go, causing Alex’s own grip to loosen as well, “and become a stripper.”  
  
“I’m not going to let you do that, even if it means following you around everywhere.” His touch instead became comforting instead of controlling. “Now, will you let me drive so we don’t end up in Ohio this time?”  
  
I wanted to refuse, but he was right. If I was allowed to drive, I’d get stuck in my thoughts and only rile myself up again, causing me to make rash decisions. So, I nodded and took off my seatbelt. As I left the car to switch to the passenger side, I saw Rian watching us from his car. When he noticed my gaze, he quickly looked away and drove off as if he had been keeping an eye on us.  
  
I decided to let it be and got into the passenger side while Alex tried to get the hang of my car again. Although he managed to do it faster this time, it was hilarious at the beginning of the drive. But at least I didn’t fear for my life.  
  
When we finally got to my house, he parked my car in the driveway before we both jumped out again, locking it when the doors were closed.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to band practice with me?” He asked one last time.  
  
I nodded with certainty. “I don’t think it’s a good idea right now. Maybe next time.”  
  
“Okay, well then you have to promise you won’t run off and become a stripper instead.”  
  
“I promise.” I rolled my eyes before we kissed each other goodbye and left in opposite directions.  
  
I was fully prepared to have another screaming match with my parents that day, but it didn’t happen. They didn’t know a thing about what happened at school. It must have been easier for Principal Adkins to stay silent than to have to explain to my mom that he wasn’t going to fire the man who was trying to manipulate me into having sex with him. I was actually looking forward to proving my parents that I had gotten mad for an actual reason, one they could agree with. But nothing of the like happened.


	44. Chapter Forty-Four: Fights at the Skate Park

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
It was quite weird having Jack’s mom bring us all to school--all being me, Jack, and Rian. We had all stayed the night at Jack’s house doing god knows what. It mainly consisted of us playing video games far into the late hours until Jack’s mom warned us that we really did have to go to bed if we wanted to survive school the next day.  
  
Honestly, I didn’t even want to go, but there was no way getting out of it this time.  
  
Zack went on his own way in the morning when he got in his own car to drive to a different school. We, us three without Zack, just weren’t all that lucky. None of us had a car to drive. So, Rian and I were pushed into the backseat while Jack rode shotgun, blasting his music. I just didn’t understand how our parents were ok with any of this anymore. Rian’s mom was cool with us practicing there multiple days a week, and all the other parents were just cool with us being such loud fucks in general.  
  
Although being brought to school by a parent was very surreal to me, that wasn’t the biggest problem. Getting home was a whole other deal. None of us had a way of doing so and we had promised to pick up Zack from the skate park after school. We should have told him to come pick us up. But it was too late for that.  
  
While we seemed stupid and unlucky, the solution came in the form of my girlfriend--I still absolutely loved that term and would use it in my mind whenever possible. She had been out of even more luck that morning. Her old rusty truck that had given us so many fights and heartfelt confessions didn’t want to start up anymore. So, not knowing that Rian was out with us, she had gone over to ask if she could get a ride since both her parents weren’t home. Instead, she was given Rian’s car and ordered to give the keys back as soon as she saw him, that she could come home with us instead.  
  
Seemed perfect to me.  
  
We were to meet at Rian’s car.  
  
Now, let’s get something straight. As late as I usually was to everything, I was one of the first to run out of class and towards my freedom. I would zoom out of there, hoping to avoid the large crowd if I knew where I was going. This time it was to a certain vehicle. Although I was certain I was one of the first to leave those front doors, I was met with Mickey already leaning against said car, a cigarette loosely between her fingers as she took a drag from it.  
  
I walked up to her with a frown and took the cigarette from her, looking at it for a while, while she softly blew out the smoke. Instead of saying anything, I dropped the cigarette to the floor and put it out with my shoe. As you could have guessed, as much as I loved partying, smoking wasn’t exactly a thing I liked all that much.  
  
There was a time she would get pissed at me for even being so close to her, imagine what would have happened if I would have put out her cigarette. Now, however, she just looked down at the squashed cigarette and shrugged before looking at me. Usually, I would have kissed her as a greeting, but I refused to do so now. I hated cigarette breath and didn’t mind showing her how much.  
  
Before our actual conversation about her smoking habit could come up, Rian was already beside me. He pressed the button to unlock the car, but looked at us instead of getting in. Was there something interesting to look at?  
  
“Where were you during last period?” He asked Mickey since they had the same class.  
  
I didn’t leave her any time to answer herself, my reaction was faster. “You skipped again? Mickey…”  
  
“I had class?” She frowned, ignoring the fact that she had broken a deal we had made.  
  
I didn’t mind her skipping as long as she told me where she was going. It would have been hypocritical of me to say she couldn’t skip, I just didn’t want her to go back to the wrong side of town. No, I didn’t need to know where she was every second of the day, I wasn’t that person. Usually, she wouldn’t even skip without me anymore.  
  
“Yeah, we just had Geography. Mr. Archer missed you,” Rian clarified.  
  
Mickey scoffed and mumbled something under her breath that I couldn’t hear before shrugging once again. “Too late to fix that now. I’ll be sure to make an appearance next time.”  
  
She proceeded to get into the back of the car, passing up the opportunity to ride shotgun. I accepted the action and joined her, letting Jack sit in the front despite the fact that he was nowhere to be seen yet.  
  
“Just a heads up, we need to pick up Zack as well,” I told her as I pulled the door closed, leaving just the two of us while Rian continued to stand outside so Jack could find us.  
  
“Fine,” she groaned and put on her seatbelt.  
  
I could tell something was wrong but didn’t want to push it just yet. We still had to share a car and I really wanted her to come to band practice. Getting into a disagreement wasn’t exactly something I was willing the initiate at this point in our relationship. I knew I had to find out what was up, but something told me I’d get to know later. Right now wasn’t the time.  
  
After Jack practically threw himself into the car, more than joyful that he got shotgun again, acting as if he had somehow won a competition, and Rian spending ages adjusting the seat claiming that Mickey had moved it in a way that didn’t allow it to go back to the way he preferred (which she replied to by saying she only moved is forward a little and then moved it back when the arrived at school), we finally got on the road. It wasn’t all too far to our meeting point with Zack, however it was long enough for Jack to be able to scream along with some songs on the radio, Mickey to look more pissed off than ever, and Rian to curse at other drivers.  
  
The only problem was that Zack must have lost track of time. He wasn’t at our meeting point. I couldn’t blame him, he was skating with some friends or acquaintances or something. Whenever I did something I was passionate about, I also lost track of time; that is unless I was excited about something else.  
  
For some reason, we all got out of the car to go and find him. We could have all easily stayed back except for one person, but that just isn’t how things worked out. In hindsight, it might have been the better option. However, with everything that already felt off, it all had to blow up further.  
  
We were all standing at a ramp, waiting for Zack to notice us as he went down it with his skateboard. No matter what he did on that thing, he always looked fucking amazing. Honestly, he could have been terrible at playing music and he’d still be in the band because he was so cool. We just really lucked out.  
  
I also really lucked out with Mickey. No matter what, I wouldn’t take her for granted. Here I was, standing hand in hand with a girl I never thought I would get but never was going to stop pursuing. All I could say that I really was a lucky person. The only thing needed to make my life perfect was a record deal, and I was more than confident about that.  
  
“Oh, shit!” Zack exclaimed as he saw us all watching him. He looked from us, down to his watch and back up again before running towards us.  
  
We let him collect all his belongings and went on our merry way. Or so that was what we were planning on.  
  
While walking away, Mickey’s hand pulled harshly out of mine. I turned around in shock and saw and heard her shouting at these two guys behind us. It happened in such a split second that none of us understood what was going on. Just less than a heartbeat before, we were walking away, Mickey included. Now she was shouting profanities at some stranger.  
  
“The fuck do you think you’re doing!?” She shouted at the guy who was holding a skateboard, the other one just standing beside his friend.  
  
However, Mickey didn’t get a reply. They just laughed. You know that laugh you would only do around your friends when you got into some deep shit, acting like you didn’t care and only thought it was funny, while if you were alone you wouldn’t even have done the thing in the first place? Well, yeah, it was that one.  
  
“Oh, you think it’s funny?” She challenged, her body language telling me she contained more rage than she was letting on. Once she was completely in control and not letting on any irritation, you knew she was way past the point of anger.  
  
The two boys just continued to laugh. I walked up to Mickey and put both my hands on her shoulders. With a lowered voice, I tried to reason before this got out of hand. “Come on, Micks, we should go.”  
  
“The fuck do you know, Alex!” She literally shrugged me off and kept her glare on the two boys.  
  
I had been okay with her feeling a bit distant for some reason I didn’t know about, I had been okay with her acting cold the past couple of days, but this was it. This hurt. I was not okay with her shutting me out all over again, this wasn’t the way she was supposed to treat me. However, I knew that adding fuel to the fire wasn’t a good idea, but I was sure as hell going to bring it up later--even if I had to take extreme measures that would hurt me further.  
  
“I know that it isn’t a good idea to punch some eleven-year-old boy who thinks he’s the shit.” I tried coursing her away, not wanting her to get arrested for assaulting a minor. It was like she sometimes forgot that she was nineteen and an adult. “So, let’s forget about this and walk away.”  
  
“Hey, I’m thirteen,” the boy argued as if it had any significance.  
  
It only riled Mickey up further. “And do you think that makes what you did okay!?”  
  
The two kids just snorted and started laughing again. I was just praying that somebody else would step in, but the others were just observing and giving me looks that were meant to tell me that I had to stop it before it escalated too far. But I was both unsure what to do and I was more than fed up. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to blow up as well.  
  
“You can’t just touch me like that!” She screamed at them.  
  
Okay, that changed things a little bit. There was a reason she was mad and it was valid, especially if what she said meant what I thought it meant. But still, she couldn’t freak out like this. I was all for scolding them, but she was turning aggressive.  
  
“I can do what I want,” the one who must have touched her retorted.  
  
“Oh, is that so?” Mickey snarled back. “Ever have any consequences following it? Your parents must be so disappointed.”  
  
“All they’ll know is that some slut screamed at me for no reason.”  
  
 _Oh, no._ People always had to learn the hard way not to call her things like that. She was more than cool with the word ‘bitch’, but this one always went too far. I knew I had to get her out of there. But I wasn’t fast enough. She was just a bit faster than I was.  
  
She reached out and snatched the skateboard from the boy’s hands as if he never even had a grip on it. Without flinching, she threw it on the floor before stomping on it with her right foot. The snap of wood crackled across the entire skatepark. However, that wasn’t enough for her. She immediately picked it up and slammed it onto her knee so that all that was left of the skateboard was two measly halves.  
  
She flung the pieces at the boy and yelled, “you fucking try explaining that to your parents, you fucking--”  
  
“Okay, that’s it,” I interrupted her, my own patience way past its limit, “you’re done here.” I grabbed her arm and started dragging her with me--surprised with my own strength--and away from the two minors. “Do I really need to scold you like the one time I was stupidly given the task to babysit my neighbor's kid?”  
  
“You’re just as bad as them if you’re okay with this!” She hissed at me and tried to pull away but did so without luck.  
  
“No, I’m not okay with them touching you, but I’m also not okay with how you’re handling it. You have all the right to be mad, but you don’t have the right to assault some kid!” I looked back to see our friends staring at us but not moved from their positions. They were unsure what to do, both ‘sides’ did something totally unacceptable and wrong. On one hand, Mickey was way too aggressive for them to be around, but they also didn’t want to encourage the boy who was now upset about his skateboard.  
  
“I’m just sick and tired of everybody touching me in whatever way they desire!” Mickey glared right at me and tried to get away again, making me remove my grip.  
  
“And I get that, but you really need to learn that blowing up isn’t always the answer. You continuously do it. Somebody just has to look at you the wrong way and you’ll get so mad at them. You’ll never get anywhere like this.”  
  
“Does it look like I give a fuck?”  
  
“You know what? If you constantly freak out on me despite me not having done _one_ thing, this isn’t going to work.” It pained me to say it. I knew who she could be, I knew we had many amazing memories as well, but this was getting old. Maybe people couldn’t change.  
  
“Fine by me.” She simply started walking away without a second thought.  
  
But that’s what gave her away. By making it seem like she didn’t care one bit, I knew she actually was far from okay with ending things between us right now. She always acted like she didn’t give a fuck, but I remembered that one time she kissed me after I had gotten mad at her for the first time.  
  
So, I ran after her, not letting her get away so easily. I didn’t speak until I was right beside her “Mickey, wait. I know you’re not just mad about what just happened. You’ve been acting cold for a few days now. Something most definitely is up.”  
  
“I just want to graduate,” she sighed. It was almost as if a couple of steps had been enough for her head to clear up but I liked to think that what I said was a reality check.  
  
“And that’s your goal. You’re doing so well. We all want to graduate, but that’s going to take a couple more months,” I tried to encourage her. We were all done with the same old bullshit by now.  
  
“High chance I won’t get to, though,” she said as if it was just another everyday thing to mention.  
  
But I disagreed. She had to stop putting herself down. She was way more amazing than she let herself think. “That’s not true. Your grades are even better than Rian’s! You’ve just got to hold on a little longer.”  
  
“Except for the fact that I’m now failing Geography and can’t do anything about it.”  
  
I wanted to make a sarcastic joke along the lines of _‘yeah, you skipped class, it only makes sense’_ , but I decided against it. She was obviously upset about something and I wasn’t going to undermine that even if it was her own fault. So, I just tried to be the supportive boyfriend instead. “Of course you can do something about it.”  
  
“No, no,” she shook her head and stopped as we left the skatepark and waited on the sidewalk, “I literally can’t. I should be getting A’s, but Mr. Archer is a fucking creep and gives me an F instead.”  
  
“A creep…?”  
  
“Look,” she finally turned to me so that I could look into her eyes and see a mixture of emotions. There was still fury, but also warmth and fear, “I didn’t tell you anything because there isn’t anything you can do about it, but he wants me to physically use my body to get my grade up.”  
  
My heart dropped. With what had just gone down, I didn’t need an explanation as to what she meant with her words. It was only natural that she got so furious when that boy touched her. There was this anger left over from what was happening at school. It was why she skipped Geography in the first place. Just months before I would have taken any opportunity to sleep with a teacher if it would mean boosting my grades, but I wouldn't do that now either. I could only imagine what it felt like being blackmailed into it.  
  
“Did you tell the Principal?” I asked, my heart now racing. I didn’t want anybody hurting Mickey like this.  
  
“What do you think I did right after? All it left me with was knowledge of how screwed up he was and glass shards in the hallway.”  
  
“Wait… did he… ask you to… you know… as well…”  
  
She shook her head quickly. “Oh no, he screwed up in another way. He said he can’t and _won’t_ do anything about it. You know he’s completely messed up since he didn’t even call my parents to tell them I broke a fucking door because he knew he was in the wrong.”  
  
“I don’t know how, but we’re going to expose him, I promise you that.”  
  
“I appreciate that.” She kissed my cheek, but I could tell she knew it was most likely not going to happen. Once she broke away from my skin, a frown formed on her face. “Hang on, are we still broken up?”  
  
I smirked and rolled my eyes a little. “We never were, but you’ve got to admit that my threat helped you shake you out of it.”  
  
“I guess,” she shrugged as the others came to join again, taking the cheek kiss as a sign that things were safe again. “Anyway, I’m going to walk home, because as composed as I might seem right now, I don’t think sitting in a cramped space with four boys is going to do me any good.”  
  
“Alright,” I nodded, “I’ll come with you.”  
  
“No, you’ve got band practice and can’t afford losing any more time because of me. I can find my way back by myself.”  
  
“And risk you getting harassed again and you blowing up again? Nah, I think I’ll walk with you.”  
  
“Fine,” she sighed as she gave in.  
  
And that’s how I arrived at Rian’s way after band practice had already ended, but I had to pick up my stuff that he had taken along in the car. Oh, and I had to make sure Mickey made it home safe, of course.


	45. Chapter Forty-Five: I Dismiss, I am Wrong

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I ran down the stairs, my backpack containing everything but school supplies, ready to go on an adventure. It wasn’t going to be a long one, nor was I going to go far. Yet it still felt like I was going on the most exciting trip of my entire life.  
  
I grabbed the car keys from the small table right underneath the mirror close to the front door and yelled out, “mom! I’m taking your car and going to Jack’s for the night!”  
  
She had the weekend off, and I needed a mode of transportation. I had it all planned out. All I had to do was walk out of that door and get in the car before driving away. It really was a simple-to-execute plan. Well, that was if nothing got in the way.  
  
“Woah, woah, woah.” My mom came speed walking out of the kitchen, drying her hands off with a towel. “I need my car tomorrow afternoon. Can’t you ride along with Rian?”  
  
I shook my head, my hand twitching in the direction of the door handle. “Nope, he’s staying home. Gotta drive myself.”  
  
“Okay,” she still seemed suspicious, even squinting her eyes at me and staring me down, “so if I call Jack’s mom right now, she’ll say she’s expecting you?”  
  
I sighed with a small groan, annoyed that I got busted so quickly. _“Fine._ Alex is home alone this weekend and asked me to ‘scare away the ghosts’.”  
  
“Oh, no, you’re not going anywhere, young lady,” she scolded, crossing her arms and giving me the ‘mom’ look. The eyes that just said there would be repercussions no matter what I did.  
  
So, if it didn’t matter what I did, why not argue that I should be able to go? I’d rather go down with a fight than give in. “What? Why not! You’d want somebody to stay with me if I was at home all alone. I won’t get into any stupid shit.”  
  
“Don’t give me that.” She stood her ground as she held out her hand for her keys, which I was refusing to give just yet. “I know exactly what’s going to happen.”  
  
“What’s going to happen?” I questioned, my brows furrowing as my grip on the keys tightened. If I knew my mom, I knew she’d try to distract me and pull the keys out of my hand much like an annoying sibling would do. Trust me, I _knew_.  
  
The ‘mom’ look intensified, accusing me of playing dumb. “You can’t fool me. Staying the night with a boy while his parents are out?! That can and _will_ only lead to one thing.”  
  
Realization hit me as my mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. She really was just trying to look out for me and prevent me from making bad decisions. “Well, first of all, that shouldn’t matter. One, I’m nineteen, and two, let’s be honest here… I mean, come on, _like_...” I hinted towards my past without explicitly mentioning it.  
  
“Exactly. I’m not letting you make those mistakes again. I’m not allowing you to go out.”  
  
“Second of all,” I continued my reasoning as if she hadn’t interrupted, “Alex and I haven’t had sex yet, and we’ve had our opportunities. What makes you think it will happen now?”  
  
But that just seemed to put her off even more. The stern look turned into slight fear and shock. “Now you’re definitely not going. Nope. Never.”  
  
“What?! _Mom!”_ I whined and started pouting when she managed to pull the keys out of my now limp hand with just a small tug.  
  
“I’m not letting you go out and have sex with some boy; not while you’re still living under my roof.”  
  
This would be the point where I would scream at her, make clear to her that I didn’t want to live with her, that I’d much rather live by myself but that she wouldn’t allow me. I’d escalate it until I blamed her for everything wrong in my life. But a response like that didn’t even come close to mind this time.  
  
“Mom, I get that you still think I’m your little girl, but you need to trust me. Alex isn’t just some guy I’m drunkenly hooking up with, he’s actually my boyfriend. We won’t do anything stupid.” Even I was weirdly surprised with the words that came out of my mouth and in which tone they were spoken. It actually sounded like I was a responsible adult coming up with normal arguments that actually could convince somebody.  
  
My mom must have thought the same.  
  
“Okay, okay, you’re right…” she sighed and reluctantly handed me back the keys. “But you’re going to take condoms with you whether you want to or not. I’m not letting you accidentally screw up. There’s a box up in the bathroom which I assumed you never touched either to make a point or because of embarrassment.”  
  
Yeah, I could still remember the day when it suddenly appeared on the counter right next to all my makeup. At first, I was weirded out, wondering why the hell my parents needed to leave their condoms out in the open like that. I soon figured out they were there for me. It was way more than awkward.  
  
“Don’t worry, I won’t need any,” I assured her, too excited to be standing around any longer.  
  
“It’s just a safety precaution,” she warned me, “there’s only harm in not bringing them with you.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and opened the front door instead of going upstairs. “Just take this as me proving to you that Alex and I really don't plan on having sex.”  
  
It was true, for some reason it hadn’t even crossed my mind once. All I thought was that I was going over to Alex’s to hang out. I could only wonder while I was driving to his place if he had intended this the way my mom thought or if he was just as oblivious as me as to what it seemed like. I had told him that I didn’t want to just randomly go for it at a party… he did joke that he’d put out rose petals and candles along with some sensual music. All I could do was pray none of that was actually going to be set up when I arrived. Honestly, if it was, I was going to be out of there in no time. It was way too cheesy and corny.  
  
But there was no need to worry. Alex looked like his normal self--give or take the smudges of flour on his shirt--when he answered the door, kissing me to greet me, no nervousness and anticipation behind it all. He only seemed super excited about making pizza together.  
  
“I’ve got to warn you, I can’t cook for shit,” I told him as I stared at the dough he had made earlier still in its bowl. “Last time I tried to do something, I managed to burn soup I had to heat up in a pan.”  
  
“The only thing that can go wrong here is if we burn it in the oven, but that’s what I’m here for,” Alex replied as he turned on said oven to preheat it. That was the first step I always forgot and then I always got too impatient to wait for it to be at the right temperature.  
  
“Well, now I’m expecting you to go twirling around this dough on one hand to make a perfect circle,” I retorted, not understanding why Alex had gone out of his way to try and make a pizza himself. Ordering was way easier and didn’t bring the risk of setting the house on fire.  
  
“Hey, I’m not saying I’m some mastermind chef, I’m just saying that I know how to work an oven!” He defended, grabbing the dough and dropping it onto the oven tray that already had baking paper and flour covering it.  
  
“That’s not nice!” I gasped and crossed my arms.  
  
“Awe, I’m sorry,” he slowly started waltzing up to me, “I’m sure you know how to use a microwave.”  
  
“Not helping yourself!” I inhaled yet again and jumped away before he could try to hug me. “You’re just going to have to do this by yourself.”  
  
“No,” he whined and reached out to me, “I like it when people watch and give me compliments.”  
  
“Oh, so that’s why you’re in a band and always ask freshmen girls to come to your shows!” I nudged back, knowing full well the guys wanted everybody to come but were already building up quite a specific demographic.  
  
 _“Mickey,”_ Alex cried in a complaining manner, “come make a _pizza_ with me!”  
  
I just continued to stand where I was, still threatening to leave the kitchen. But it didn’t work for long. The creases soon disappeared from Alex’s brow and a smirk resided on his lips. Before I knew it, he charged at me and had both his arms wrapped around me so I couldn’t escape while he tickled me. I yelped out his name as the laughter escaped me.  
  
“You jealous, huh?” He teased, somehow managing to direct us back to where the dough was while still tickling me.  
  
“No!” I squealed, still squirming around as he continued to poke me.  
  
“Are you sure?” he taunted with his own laughter mixed in. “They’re only three years younger than me.”  
  
“And five years younger than me!” I managed to get out in between giggles. “They’ve got _nothing_ on me!”  
  
He abruptly stopped his tickling and opted to keep his arms around me to hug me from behind instead. “That’s actually very true.” Shortly after, he leaned down to kiss me before mumbling the most romantic thing ever said to me, “now, your ass better help me make some pizza or else my fat ass will eat it all by myself.”  
  
All I did was sit on the counter with my legs crossed, pointing at random places on the tomato sauce Alex had spread out over the dough he had also rolled out, telling him where to place onions or mushrooms or whatever else we could imagine as toppings for our creation. He’d place whatever it was right where I pointed, even if it was on the most illogical of places. I even tested how far he’d let me go by making him put some green peppers on the crust, but decided to be more serious when he didn’t say a thing about it.  
  
Just over half an hour later, we were on the living room couch with our green pepper sprinkled crust pizza on a plate for us to share. I picked up the remote and turned on the TV, ready to channel surf until I annoyed the shit out of Alex. It was what I always tended to do, switch between channels like it was some sport or something. However, the fact that it was on a cartoon channel stopped me from even starting my past time activity.  
  
“You were watching cartoons before I came over?” I raised an eyebrow at Alex, bringing my legs up onto the couch and crossing them underneath me much like in the kitchen.  
  
“What?” Alex blurted out, reaching over to grab the remote from me yet not being successful in it because I held it out of his reach. “No! I was playing video games! Yes, video games, _manly_ video games.” He cleared his throat and continued with a lower voice. “First person shooter games.”  
  
“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s on this channel though. You only switched the output, it must mean you were watching it before!” I accused with a knowing look.  
  
“Okay!” He gave in and sighed overdramatically. “I like my cartoons! Don’t judge me.”  
  
“Awe. I’m dating a nerd,” I gushed and went to pinch his cheek.  
  
He swatted my hand away and frowned. “Shut up. We can watch a movie or something, I’m sure there’s at least one on on a Saturday evening.”  
  
I nodded and looked at the screen, only to hear a specific theme song come out of the speakers. “Oh no, we’re watching this now. We’re eating pizza, it’s only right if we watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”  
  
“Who’s the nerd now!” Alex exclaimed and nudged me with his foot.  
  
I ignored him and instead commented, “their hands have always freaked me out. I can’t deal with it. Like, I get that they're turtles and don’t have normal hands, but those three fingers are just too long and stick-y.”  
  
“Shut up and eat your pizza,” he shook his head at me with a chuckle.  
  
I did as I was told, picking up one piece and folding it in half. Without thinking, I stuffed it in my mouth. It only hit me when I saw Alex staring at me with wide eyes. What I had done completely wasn’t on purpose, but was I going to play it off like it was? Yes, yes I was.  
  
“What?” I said with my mouth still full. “Don’t guys think this is sexy?”  
  
“Strangely enough…” His surprised look faded away into a wonder. “...I am slightly turned on right now… but that might be because I’m always a little turned on when I’m around you.”  
  
I swallowed the large bite I had taken and nodded approvingly. “Want me to stuff some more into my mouth?”  
  
 _“No, no!”_ He immediately shook his head. “That’s fine. I don’t want you to finish this pizza quicker than I can keep up.”  
  
“Okay, then,” I shrugged, unfolding what was still left over of my piece and ate it further like a normal human being. At least playing it off had worked quite well. Alex just thought I had been making a joke in response to him ordering me to eat the pizza.  
  
When the pizza was finished, we changed positions on the couch. With my stomach full, I had decided to lean against Alex. We continued to shift slightly until I was nearly lying on top of him. The only reason I wasn’t was because Alex was still sitting up slighting, his back against the armrest to prop him up.  
  
“My eyes are starting to burn from watching TV for so long,” I complained yet still didn’t move from my position, my eyes still glued to the screen as my head was resting on Alex’s chest.  
  
“We should do something else then,” he agreed and turned off the TV with the click on one button--the remote already lying next to us.  
  
“But what?” I sighed, still looking right at the black screen.  
  
“I don’t know?” Alex shrugged, also not showing signs that he was thinking of moving. “I was going to suggest video games, but that’s not a good idea if your eyes are already burning. I don’t know how you feel about board games, and just watching me play around with my guitar isn’t that interesting either. What do most couples do?”  
  
I diverted my eyes into his direction, only able to see his neck and jaw from the angle I was at. Now, it wasn’t the question that sparked what I did, nor did I have any intention behind it, let’s just get that straight. It was just very inviting. After staring up at him for a little while, I stretched out and kissed him on his jaw. Alex acknowledged what I had done by ghosting his hand on my back while I snuggled into him again.  
  
But then the temptation came and I placed another one, just below where the first one had been. Only, this time I didn’t go to lie back down. Instead, I automatically placed another kiss, further down an inch again. Then it turned into something I couldn’t stop anymore, my kisses losing their complete innocence slowly.  
  
We were both ready as my touch left his neck and instead went for his lips. I was no longer lying on top of him, my hands and knees were supporting me on either side of him. None of the kisses we had shared that day compared to this one. The others were brief and cute, this one was deep and passionate. Despite me being the one to initiate it and me being the one in the more--what was considered to be--dominant position, Alex controlled the kiss.  
  
His hand gingerly placed on my cheek, causing the heat radiating off my cheeks to mix with the warmth of his touch. The other hand was still on the small of my back, slightly pushing in while trying to create more contact between our bodies. There was no pulling or tugging like I was used to when things were rushed. This was natural and smooth. Only Alex could help me set a pace like this. My body was still urging to go on autopilot, to rip his clothes off and take him right there.  
  
“Hmm, wait, wait, wait.” Alex pushed me away lightly, our distance only being created reluctantly, and mumbled, “I don’t have the rose petals and candles, nor have I planned out anything romantic. I haven’t set the mood for this like I promised. We can’t do this now.”  
  
“Oh, you’ve set the mood alright,” I shook my head to dismiss anything he said. The fire in his eyes told me he wanted this just as much as I did. So, I reconnected our lips, only to abruptly break apart from him again soon after. “Although, I must say… I’d rather not do this on the couch in your living room.”  
  
“Yes, true,” he nodded and looked around, licking his lips. “Bedroom?”  
  
After my definite and rushed approval, we hurried up the stairs and into his bedroom. You can guess what happened there. Our clothes were discarded and many heated kisses were shared. I mentally cursed myself for brushing my mom off earlier that day, but I was in luck. Alex had a box of condoms hidden in his dresser, letting us get on with our touching. Before we got down to serious business, he stopped us unexpectedly. I didn’t know what I was expecting him to say or do, but he decided to take a minute to appreciate my favorite tattoo, claiming now was the only time he’d get to see it. All our fumbling around should have gotten on my nerves, but it didn’t at all.  
  
The next morning, I woke up with Alex spooning me from behind. A smile graced my lips as I snuggled my head into the pillow to fall back asleep. That was until I remembered we were both still fully naked and the urge to use the bathroom started telling me that it was the reason why I woke up in the first place. I sighed, wondering if I could just ignore both things and enjoy the moment. But the need to go to the bathroom wasn’t letting me.  
  
So, I carefully slipped out of the bed, preventing the bed from shaking too much and making sure Alex’s arm wouldn't fall off my body and onto the mattress. If I was going to have to get up, then I wanted the possibility of climbing back into bed and falling back asleep with Alex.  
  
I picked up Alex’s shirt from the floor and sneaked out into the hallway. Even though I knew nobody else was home, I still felt the need to cover myself up a little bit just in case. It wasn’t like I was on Naked and Afraid. Although, I must admit, it felt strange walking down the hallway and into the bathroom coming out of Alex bedroom and knowing the rest of the house was empty.  
  
When I got back, my wish of being able to cuddle up with Alex again was washed away. He looked like he had just woken up and was sitting up in bed, looking around dazedly. His eyes were still adjusting to being open and his hair was sticking up all over his head.  
  
“You’re here.” He gave me a sleepy grin, rubbing his face with the palm of his hand.  
  
“Of course, I’m here,” I chuckled as I walked further into the room. “What, were you afraid that I disappeared?”  
  
“No, just worried something made you leave without saying goodbye,” he shrugged back, trying to dismiss the fact that he thought I had left while all my clothes were still on the floor.  
  
“Yeah, my bladder was screaming at me to get out of here,” I joked, trying to get rid of the heavy feeling only I seemed to be noticing. Alex was still waking up, acting like his normal self, while I was trying to lighten the emotions in my chest that I could not comprehend.  
  
Alex smiled back, his tiredness causing it to be quite weak. However, in a split second he suddenly seemed to be jolted awake. “Wait, are you wearing my shirt and are you naked underneath it?!”  
  
“Even better,” I teased, “I’m _always_ naked underneath my clothes.”  
  
“Oh, ha, ha.” He rolled his eyes. “I mean are you only wearing my shirt?”  
  
“Yeah, got a problem with it?” I winked and bent down to pick up my panties and put them on--not like they would have covered up much more of me.  
  
“No, just super hot,” he squeaked before clearing his throat and repeating it way deeper.  
  
“Well, I’m hungry, so we’re not having sex again.”  
  
“Ugh, fine,” he grumbled and got out of bed, trying to shield himself as he ran to his dresser and put on a fresh pair of boxers. “Let’s have breakfast then.”  
  
“Also, I need to get going soon, my mom needs her car back,” I added, seeing that it was already eleven in the morning.  
  
“But I like having you here,” he whined as he led me back downstairs and to the kitchen.  
  
 _“But_ I don’t want to be the reason why my mom can’t do her shit today and so cause her to forbid me to ever come over again,” I retorted, to which he didn’t have anything witty to reply with. “And I’m not taking this shirt off.”  
  
“That’s one of my favorites!” He still managed to complain.  
  
“I’m not keeping it forever, just today. You’ll get it back tomorrow,” I reassured him with a roll of my eyes. If I had been any other girl, I would have been mad by now. It was an unspoken rule that a boyfriend should always be ok with his girlfriend having his clothes. I was not one of those people. I wanted my shit back, so other people got their shit back. Easy as that.  
  
We actually managed to have a normal breakfast without Alex complaining about anything else. However, I knew I still had to face my mom. It wasn’t like I had to talk to her, it wasn’t like she knew what had happened back at Alex’s, but I felt guilty. I never felt guilty, yet I felt horrible this time. I gained her trust and managed to break it in a way I never expected.  
  
So, when I entered the house and noticed my dad must have been upstairs, I greeted her. She simply greeted me back with a smile, asking me if I had fun. I replied that I did, in fact, have fun, but she didn’t press any further. Usually, she’d be asking me countless of questions by now to find out exactly what I had been doing with whom and where. I could have gotten away with it easily, but it didn’t feel right.  
  
“Umm… mom?” I started, unsure where I wanted to go with this. I never had this conversation with my mom. All that had ever happened was her getting mad at me for having sex, I had never actually gone up to her to talk about it.  
  
“What’s up?” she asked, putting the book she was reading down on the coffee table.  
  
“I, uh… I’d just thought I’d let you know that…” I froze up. It was like I was watching myself embarrass myself from afar.  
  
“Let me know what?” She frowned, now paying full attention to me.  
  
“That… that… Alex and I made pizza last night,” I blurted out, cringing at my lame excuse.  
  
“Oh…” she nodded and reached out for her book again, “how nice.”  
  
As she started reading again, I just stood there, still so surprised with what I had said. First of all, I was never awkward. I was always confident and cool with saying everything, there wasn’t anything I deemed too personal. But now, I was just making a fool of myself.  
  
“Alex and I had sex last night.” The words just left me so suddenly and I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth.  
  
 _“Mickey!”_ she scolded, her book immediately finding its place back on the table as she turned to look at me.  
  
“I know, I know,” I tried to justify myself, wondering why I felt the need to tell her in the first place, “I told you it wouldn’t happen. Neither of us intended on it happening… but…”  
  
“It happened by _'accident'_?” Her tone told me she was mocking me slightly.  
  
“No,” I shook my head rapidly, “it just happened. One moment we were watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while eating pizza and the next it just escalated.”  
  
“And you didn’t think to stop it?”  
  
“Well, no… it just happened naturally, okay? If Alex didn’t have protection, we would have broken it off, but he did so it wasn’t like anything was stopping us.”  
  
“Oh, _thank_ god,” she let out a deep breath and relaxed back into the couch.  
  
“What?” I furrowed my eyebrows.  
  
“I thought you were telling me that we needed to go out and buy Plan B,” she sighed in relief, wiping her brow.  
  
“Oh my god, no,” I scrunched up my face. If things had gone that way, I wouldn’t have been telling her anything... strangely enough.  
  
“Well, then it’s okay. I appreciate you telling me. Just don’t scare me like that next time."  
  
 _“Next time?_ ” I snorted although pleased I did actually tell her. “I won’t be telling you next time Alex and I have sex, that’s just weird.”


	46. Chapter Forty-Six: Gas Station Galore

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
Usually, when a group says they’ll meet somewhere at a specific time in a specific place, they all arrive around the correct time. Granted, I was told an earlier time than the others to make sure I was on time, and Rian literally lived at our meeting spot, but still. I wasn’t the one who was late. Mickey was.  
  
Sure, we were meeting at 5:30 am, which was quite a difficult time to be on time for. But, still, even Jack and I were here!  
  
For a minute, I did make up an excuse for Mickey in my head. Her truck was still broken, so it only made sense that that slowed her down, even if she should have planned around it. But then I remembered she literally lived across the street. She didn’t need her car. There was no excuse unless something bad happened.  
  
However, before anybody could seriously complain instead of commenting about it, she made her entrance, a duffle bag on her left shoulder, a backpack in her right hand, and her mom wearing scrubs in tow. I looked down at my own suitcase which was at least twice the size of her bag, feeling a little embarrassed that I had packed more than a girl.  
  
“Sorry, I’m late everybody,” she announced, as she bounced further into the living room, her ponytail swaying along. Although she was in sweats and was wearing no makeup whatsoever, I couldn’t help but think she was beautiful. “I had to go to the store to buy some stuff. I know I should have planned ahead.”  
  
“And…” her mom urged, having told her what to say to apologize.  
  
 _“And…_ ” Mickey thought for a short moment, “and… I’m a fucking idiot?”  
  
 _“Mickey!”_ her mom scolded, giving her a glare.  
  
Mickey just shrugged and walked up to me, dropping her duffle bag right next to my suitcase, only highlighting how big mine was. She didn’t even seem fazed by the fact that a, she was late, and b, she just cursed in front of all of our parents. But then again, this was Mickey we were talking about. She just didn’t care about things like that.  
  
What I did care about, however, was that Mickey’s mom gave me a very forced smile and a ‘polite’ nod before turning to Jack's mom and introducing herself. I thought Mickey’s mom and I had had a fresh start, a new beginning. She had decided to put everything that happened--or what she accused me of doing--behind. Honestly, I thought things were going pretty well ever since, but that look told me otherwise.  
  
“So, I’m taking the first shift driving, right?” Mickey asked me, starting up a conversation since I barely acknowledged her when she stood beside me.  
  
“Huh?” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her, getting to see her freckles again. “Umm, yeah.”  
  
“And Zack and Jack’s moms are going to follow us in their own car?” She asked next, giving me a small frown after my previous answer.  
  
“Well, that’s the plan. We’ll probably lose them at some point. It’s impossible to drive together for four hours.” I nodded, trying to seem as normal as possible.  
  
“Which is what we have the meetup locations for,” she countered, seeming way too awake for any teenager to be at a time like this, “I know where those are.”  
  
“We’ve got them marked on the map as well,” I assured pointing at the map that was now safely stored underneath the handle of my suitcase.  
  
Our half-forced conversation was interrupted by Mickey’s mom declaring from the other side of the room, “Mickey, I’ve gotta go to work, I’ll see you in little over a week, okay?”  
  
Mickey gave her a thumbs up in return. It was small moments like these where I realized they weren’t the closest but really tried. Of course, I did witness a serious fight or two, but this just showed it went a little further than just the teenager-resenting-parents type of thing. At least they were working on it.  
  
“Behave,” her mom warned her one last time.  
  
Although I couldn’t directly see Mickey’s face, I could feel the eye roll. This, however, didn’t make her mom leave any sooner, it only made her comment one more time, “we’ve talked about this.”  
  
“I know,” Mickey sighed, “I promise I won’t be found dead in some ditch somewhere.”  
  
“Okay, I’m just going to leave,” her mom shook her head before saying goodbye one last time. Before leaving out the door, she once gave me a nod with a stern look.  
  
As soon as the door closed, Jack bounced up to us. “Damn that was cold.”  
  
“I know, right?” I breathed out heavily. “Why does she hate me?”  
  
“She doesn’t hate you,” Mickey asserted, but the next statement took away the confidence. “It’s just… _nevermind.”_  
  
Before I could insist she told me whatever she was thinking about, the parents started telling us that we had to start going. As Mickey had mentioned before, Jack and Zack’s moms were going to be joining us, but in a different car. We were underage after all, except for Mickey. So, we all grabbed our bags and went out to Zack’s dad’s van to stuff them in the back. Soon after, we said goodbye to my mom and Rian’s parents.  
  
I did manage to call shotgun, much to the other guys’ despise. Although I was the first one to call it, and the first one to reach the door, my argument was that Mickey was driving. I mean, come on, this was my girlfriend we were talking about.  
  
But do not even think for a second that I forgot what she was about to say back in the house.  
  
As soon as we were in the van, I blurted it out. “You say your mom doesn’t hate me, but there was a ‘but’.”  
  
Her eyes slowly fell on me and her hand dropped from the keys she had put in the ignition. Now, this was the point I used to know that I had to brace for impact, that what I had just said wasn’t okay. But she wouldn’t do that now that I was her boyfriend. Right…?  
  
“Don’t worry about it,” she simply said, taking in a sharp breath. “Just something I said, nothing much.”  
  
“What did you say?” My eyes doubled in size. I could only imagine what Mickey must have said about me that made me look horrible. For example, my many sexcapades before I got an interest in her. To be fair, she wasn’t much better, but still. It was any mother’s nightmare. Or maybe she had made up something to cover something else up?  
  
“Not now, okay?” She mumbled under her breath and turned on the engine, looking through the rearview mirror despite the trailer blocking her view.  
  
That small gesture, however, notified me that she was looking at the others in the back seats. It only made the fear inside me greater. Whatever it was had to be serious enough that she didn’t want to tell me in front of our friends.  
  
I didn’t get to know until much later in the drive. I hadn’t realized it, but I had fallen asleep, only to awake by cold air streaming in when the driver’s door was opened. It was a strange sensation being woken from a slumber I didn’t even know I was in. Not only was a mentally lost, but I also had no idea where I was geographically.  
  
Letting my eyes adjust to being open, I looked to see Mickey standing at the open door, looking through her bag--a practically empty backpack. Wondering what was going on, I stretched out and tried to figure out where I was by looking at my surroundings. The freeway was right next to us, and the structure of the building suggested we were at a gas station.  
  
Still, I instinctively asked, “what’s going on?”  
  
Mickey’s eyes snapped towards me and a smile formed on her face. “Just had to stop for gas. Now I’m just going to get myself some coffee and go to the bathroom. I didn’t want to wake y’all up.”  
  
“Hmm… I could use some coffee myself,” I yawned and looked over the back of the seat to see everybody fast asleep as well. After taking off my seatbelt, I hit my hand loudly against the ceiling a couple of times to create a banging sound. “Hey, asshats, wake up! Bathroom break!”  
  
“Oh shit,” Jack jumped up from his position squashed up against the glass and scrambled to get out before fully letting himself wake up, “I gotta pee.”  
  
Unfortunately for him, he was a little too enthusiastic. While trying to get out of the van, he managed to trip and body slam into the asphalt. I sucked in a breath while I heard Mickey (who hadn’t seen what happened but most definitely had heard the impact) go ‘oooh’ feeling the pain herself.  
  
“I’m fine,” Jack groaned as he got up, barely taking time to brush himself off before rushing to the bathrooms.  
  
As soon as everybody had left the van, Mickey locked it. We all went our separate ways for a while until I found Mickey all by herself in the small store. On one hand, she looked just fine being by herself looking at all the food and drinks, but on the other there was still information I wanted to get out of her.  
  
So, I approached her, careful enough not to accidentally give her a fright. She always noticed somebody’s presence, but not always exactly who it was. “Hey.”  
  
“Hey,” she smiled back as she continued down the aisle, “what’s up?”  
  
“Well, first of all, I didn’t get to kiss you yet today,” I eased into it, pecking her on her lips unexpectedly, “and second of all, you still need to tell me why exactly you mom ‘doesn’t‘ hate me. I don’t see anybody around right now, so…”  
  
“I really don’t think you want to know,” she chuckled, picking up a bag of muffins.  
  
“Obviously I do. It's actually freaking me out a little. I don’t know what I did wrong.”  
  
“Like I said, you technically didn’t do anything wrong,” she stopped looking at the assortment of food, focusing her attention on me. “I just told her something. Honestly, if she is actually mad at you, then there’s something wrong with her.”  
  
“Yeah, but what is it!” I whined, following her as she walked to the fridge and pulled out two large bottles of water.  
  
“Well, I sort of told her…” she took a deep breath. “I told her we had sex.”  
  
“You told her that?” I let out a breathy chuckle. “That’s it? Why did you even tell her?”  
  
“I owed it to her,” she shrugged and slowly started making her way to the counter to pay and get herself some coffee as well.  
  
“Owed it?” I frowned. What kind of mother made her daughter ‘owe’ something like this?  
  
“We sort of had a disagreement about me coming over and spending the night before I got to leave,” she explained, slowing down further before we actually got to the counter so we still had time to talk. “She found out your parents weren’t going to be there and she freaked out a little, claiming all you wanted was sex and that I shouldn't come over for that reason. She forbade me. I kinda promised her we wouldn’t, but we both know how that ended.”  
  
“Right…” It made more than sense. I was actually happy that Mickey told her now. Not only did it mean that Mickey trusted her mom more and wanted to create a better bond, but that she actually felt some sort of guilt.  
  
“Of course, the condoms I stuffed in my bag this morning didn’t really help either. But in my defense, she was the one who put them out in the first place.”  
  
“Oh, great. So, your mom just thinks we’re going to have non-stop sex on this tour. Really, that’s great. No wonder she loves me so much.” I commented, the sarcasm dripping from every word.  
  
“Stop being such a baby,” she snorted, finally going up to the counter. “We won’t even have any time alone together. It’s all sharing the van and hotel rooms from here on.”  
  
We both did eventually get coffee and paid. Sure, our conversation did mean we were the last two to arrive back at the bus, but it was worth it. At least it wasn’t as bad as I thought, yet still quite humiliating. But it was the least of my worries when I saw how scratched up Jack really was from his fall earlier.  
  
He had a large scrape on his left arm, holding it up to keep it from touching his clothes, but so also having it up for everybody to see.  
  
The worst part was that this wasn’t a stop we had to meet up with our parents again. It was literally just us.  
  
“Goddammit, Jack. It’s only the first day,” Mickey sighed, unlocking the van and putting the items she bought on the floor behind the sliding door temporarily. “At least tell me you washed it.”  
  
“In the bathroom? No way, that place it a fucking mess,” Jack shook his head rapidly, pulling a face to portray his disgust.  
  
Mickey exhaled again and picked up one of her bottles of water, unscrewing the cap. After instructing Jack to hold out his arm, she carefully poured the water over the scrape to clean it as much as possible.  
  
“Wait here,” she told him before going to the back of the van.  
  
We all waited, anticipating what she was searching for. Honestly, I had expected a full out freak out session. Not from Mickey, but from us, especially Jack. That lanky dude had a flair for the dramatic.  
  
“Okay, so I don’t have any bandages large enough to cover it up, but I do have this,” she came back, holding up something that frightened us all more than it should have. We all knew exactly what it was used for, and it wasn’t pretty. I would have expected Mickey’s cheeks to be as red as her hair from embarrassment, but she wasn’t fazed at all. Feminine products--in this case a pad--was just taboo.  
  
“Oh, no,” Jack jumped away, “you’re not putting that on me.”  
  
“Fine by me, but you can’t complain if you get blood on your clothes or if the fabric from your clothes hurt it,” she shrugged, ready to put everything back in her duffle bag.  
  
“Okay, okay, fine,” Jack grumbled, giving us boys a glare that said ‘if you dare laugh about this, I will pants you’.  
  
“Good. Now, if you scream in my ear, I will leave you behind,” she threatened as she opened a bottle of antiseptic and sprayed it on him without any warning. Jack let out a small shriek, but nothing too loud out of fear from Mickey.  
  
She then proceeded to place the pad against the wound and tape it in place with some medical tape. As soon as it was secure, she patted him on the head and praised him for being a ‘good boy’, which Jack surprisingly really liked.  
  
“How are you so prepared?” I asked her as soon as it was all over. “Like, you fucking brought a first aid kit.”  
  
“I’m on a road trip with your irresponsible asses, it’s my duty,” Mickey retorted, putting the cap back on the antiseptic.  
  
“We’re not that irresponsible!” I complained.  
  
Jack giggled before repeating, _“doody.”_  
  
I rolled my eyes as Mickey raised an eyebrow at me and pointed directly at him.


	47. Chapter Forty-Seven: Just a Little Bit of Food

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
When I was told that I was allowed to go on ‘tour’ with my friends and two parents, I thought it was going to be the best time of my life. The parents were nice enough to drive in a different car, so you’d think we’d get some time alone. But, no. Literally, the only time we got without their supervision was during those car rides. They were there during every single show, they were somewhere in the restaurant if we went out for dinner, and they frequently checked up on us in the hotel. Well, when I got to stay in the hotel room with the guys until I had to go back and share a room with Mrs. Barakat and Mrs. Merrick.  
  
Yeah, that’s right. I shared a room with them. Even if there had been space for me to stay with the guys, I wouldn’t have been allowed to. I wasn’t sure what they really expected us to do if they didn’t check up on us or let me fall asleep there. It wasn’t like I was suddenly going to have an orgy with all of them. But, still. For some reason, it wasn’t allowed. I had to leave their room as soon as the moms decided it was time for us to go to sleep.  
  
At least I didn’t have to share a bed with either of them.  
  
I felt more uncomfortable changing around them than I would have felt changing in front of my friends. Nothing was more awkward than being naked in front of women you didn’t know from a different generation. I already didn’t like being in my underwear around my own mom.  
  
I tried to change in the bathroom every single time.  
  
So, when I found out I was going to get my own room one night, I was so happy. I could take a shower and walk out naked. There would be no need trying to fit into my clothes while I was still partially clammy. I could watch anything I wanted on TV and sprawl out on bed without being concerned that somebody would judge me. I could literally do _anything_. And anything meant a lot for me.  
  
I even had the freedom to sneak out of my room and go explore the city we were in. We passed through some places where I had lived before, but I couldn’t show anybody around for many reasons. One, we didn’t have all too much time. Two, the places I knew about weren’t exactly parent-friendly. And three, we still did have two parents in tow.  
  
So, what did I do with this freedom?  
  
Did I go out and discover the darkest of alleyways? Did I get into a bar and get myself drunk? Did I somehow end up on the stripper pole of a strip club? Did I go out and do any drug I could find?  
  
Nope. I took a long nice shower, put on my pajamas, and ordered myself some Chinese food to be delivered to the reception. I was fucking exhausted. Not only did I do most of the driving, but during this trip I had figured out that I didn’t really sleep all that well with more than one person around me. In the car, there were way more people, and I was constantly in a hotel room with two other people. Nobody did anything wrong, but their breathing annoyed the shit out of me, I had to hold myself back from punching somebody.  
  
The only times I did get some good sleep was in the car when I got to sit next to Alex in the back. It was strange. Somehow, I could only properly fall asleep if I was leaning against him and had my head on his shoulder. Whenever somebody else was driving, we had created this system that he got the window seat and could fall asleep against the window while I fell asleep on him. Easy as that. Sure, it gave us some annoyed comments from the others, but the joke was on them. I got some sleep, they were just being creepy and watching us.  
  
Oh, and actually I couldn’t really leave my room sneakily because I was still being checked up on.  
  
When I finally got a call from the reception saying my food had been delivered--I was too lazy to wait downstairs myself--I made my way down as quickly as possible. I couldn’t care less about the weird looks I got from the few people I encountered because I was wearing pajamas. Nor did I care that I had ordered way too much food for one person. I was just super hungry and wanted to try so much shit.  
  
So, yes, some fear came over me when I ran into Jack in the hallway where our rooms were situated. He was coming from the direction of my room while I was coming from the direction where his room was. I didn’t want him stealing any of my food, as selfish as that sounded.  
  
“Mickey!” He lit up and jogged up to me, looking around the hall.  
  
“What’s up, Jack?” I asked him, holding my food a little closer and tighter. “Are you lost again?”  
  
“No,” he laughed, checking around us again, “I was looking for you.”  
  
“For me?” I frowned suddenly remembering I was in front of him with my hair still wet, in pajamas, and no makeup on. He didn’t react weirdly to me being in my true form anymore. This was when I knew our friendship was too deep.  
  
“Yeah, well, Alex sent me out cause it’s less suspicious,” he chuckled, still checking our surroundings as if scared he was going to be caught doing something wrong. “So, we’ve been timing how long it takes for my mom to check out rooms. She checks your room first cause it’s closer and then ours. We’ve timed it to be every half hour.”  
  
Yeah, half hour sounded quite frequent, right? Usually, when I did share a room with the moms, they didn’t do it as often. Now, however, they wanted to make sure I wasn’t in my room giving the guys turns to fuck me.  
  
“Okay?” I shook my head, unsure what he wanted and how Alex had anything to do with this.  
  
Jack just nodded and jumped when some stranger came out of their room. He waited for them to pass before continuing, “so, after she comes to check next time, Alex will sneak over to your room.”  
  
“And why would he be doing that?” I stupidly asked, looking at all my food. All I wanted to do was get a food coma in front of the TV.  
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” he scoffed and made wild unnecessary gestures, “maybe because you guys can finally be alone in a room together. I’d jump at the opportunity to have sex as well!”  
  
“Oh, okay.” I shrugged and started to push slowly to my room. “Well, I’m going to be in my room all night, you guys do whatever you need to for your master plan.”  
  
“Awesome! Okay, cool!” He gave me a thumbs up and jumped excitedly before rushing off to his own room again.  
  
I just rolled my eyes and let myself into my room. They were making this too dramatic. Honestly, I didn’t even care if Alex managed to come over here according to their timed schedule. We were only going to be on tour for just a week longer, it really wasn’t that necessary to sneak off. I was happy enough eating my noodles.  
  
However, after Mrs. Barakat had come in to see how I was doing and I was just slurping on said noodles, somebody else knocked on the door. Putting down my food on the cabinet underneath the TV, I stood up and walked over to the door, opening it just to find Alex. Strangely enough, he was also in pajamas and it confused the shit out of me.  
  
“Jack said you were wearing your PJs so I decided to wear mine too,” he innocently explained, having seen me throw him a confused glance.  
  
“Yeah, but,” I let him in, closing the door behind him, “don’t you sleep in boxers?”  
  
“I do, but I can hardly just walk around practically naked in a hotel!” he defended, taking a look at the shitty TV show I had on.  
  
“If you say so.” I shrugged and used my chopsticks to get some more noodles from the box. “Want some?”  
  
“Well, umm, we only have twenty-five minutes…” he mumbled, wringing his hands together.  
  
“Oh,” I exhaled yet again, putting the food away and knowing it would only get cold, “you want to have sex, don’t you?”  
  
“Not if you don’t want to,” he frowned, dropping his hands to his sides.  
  
I really did want to. If the situation presented itself, I wasn’t just going to say no. Especially with Alex. We were not even close to the ‘married couple’ phase. Hell, we only recently started having sex with each other. Blowing him off wasn’t an option, although it was an option for something else, if you know what I mean.  
  
“You’re going to have to let me eat something first, or else all you be hearing is my stomach making whale sounds,” I told him, being fully honest. And as if on cue, my stomach grumbled.  
  
“Okay, but I’m taking you up on your offer of sharing your food,” he compromised. “We’ll just have to wait until they drop past next time.”  
  
And so we shared my overabundance of food. We brought it to the bed, trying our best not to drop anything on the sheets as we ate with chopsticks and watched whatever was on TV. It honestly wasn’t the best program to watch, but I did not feel like figuring out which channel was where. So, we ended up watching the strangest house renovating show there was.  
  
We did expect a polite knock twenty minutes later. However, we got a very loud and urgent one only five minutes later. There was a frantic Jack behind it, yelling at us from the other side to ‘break it off’ and that ‘he was sorry’. Our questions were answered right after when his mom’s voice could be heard telling him to ‘calm down’ and to ‘let her pass’.  
  
“Can’t I just eat my noodles in peace?” I grumbled as I got up to answer the door yet again. Both Jack and his mom were surprised to see me open the door wide and find me and Alex both eating food in our pajamas. “All I want is to eat and go to sleep, but I keep being interrupted!”  
  
“Well, you must imagine my surprise to see Alex gone when I went to ask Jack something. They claimed he was in the bathroom. The door happened to be wide open, so that gave it away immediately,” Jack’s mom told me while looking at Alex with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“Honestly, he’s just here to help me finish my food,” I explained using a little white lie. He wasn’t really here for that, but it was what he was doing now.  
  
“It’s very good.” He grinned before looking at the TV and complaining loudly, “no, they chose to paint the wall yellow! Who the fuck does that!”  
  
“Yellow?” I breathed out loudly, trying to sound just as annoyed as he was, going up to the TV to indeed see a yellow wall in the couple's kitchen.  
  
“Okay, well, I assume you guys aren’t going to get into any trouble?” Mrs. Barakat asked us, giving Jack eyes that said he wasn’t going to get away with it as easily.  
  
“Nope, we’ll be fine,” Alex smiled at her before focusing on the TV show again.  
  
As soon as she had left with Jack, I rushed up to the door and locked it from the inside and deadbolted it so nobody could get in even if they picked the lock. Nobody was going to annoy me again that evening.  
  
“Nice touch saying you were too tired to do anything but eat food and sleep,” Alex commented with a nudge.  
  
“Well, I am exhausted and was really getting annoyed, so I was just telling the truth.” I shrugged, climbing back onto the bed and sitting next to him, doing my best not to make any of the containers fall over. “But it _was_ a nice touch to complain about the yellow wall.”  
  
“That yellow wall is hideous!” Alex shrieked, pointing at the screen in disgust.  
  
I rolled my eyes and rested my head against his shoulder. “Well, at least we gained their trust. Now we just have to break it.”  
  
I proceeded to carefully kiss his neck so I could edge him on until we finished our food.  
  
You can bet your ass I slept amazing that night. All without interruptions! But I did have Alex beside me.


	48. Chapter Forty-Eight: Living a Secret Life

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
Just when I thought I had gotten to know everything about Mickey, or at least her main history, give or take a few secrets, I discovered something new. It was impossible to miss. And I wasn’t the only one to find out about it.  
  
Mickey didn’t come up to me to tell me about it, nor did I have to ask many questions to get it out of her. No, it literally happened in front of my eyes. I witnessed my own girlfriend be more affectionate to somebody than I’d ever seen her be. Strangely, it was shocking.  
  
It all happened at our venue for that evening, another bar just like most of the tour. We were never allowed to enter ourselves, or not first at least. We were all underage, and that didn’t sit right with most of the owners. Our parents had to go in first and then convince the owners to let us play. We always succeeded, but we often didn’t get to hang around. They told us we got to play our set and then we had to pack up and leave.  
  
But at this one venue, something weird happened.  
  
Mickey drove us again, like she usually did. We arrived before Jack and Zack’s moms, but we already got out of the car to wait. This would be the time for us to fuck around for a while, but Mickey was super interested by the sign hanging above the place. It was like her eyes lit up. I went to stand next to her and took a look at it as well, just seeing a sign with a barrel painted on it.  
  
“Can we go in?” she asked and turned to me although she knew we always had to wait no matter how cold it was outside.  
  
“Jack and Zack’s moms aren’t here yet…” I still told her, wondering why she would think it was different this time.  
  
“Okay, cool.” She nodded, but it was like she hadn’t even listened to me. Not even a second later, she was running into the bar.  
  
I tried my best to stop her by grabbing her hand and pulling her back, but she was too fast and her hand slipped out of my grip without difficulty. My next best move was to yell out her name, but that didn’t help either. She entered the bar, surprising me that it was actually open already. As soon as the door with dark tinted glass closed, I couldn’t see her anymore.  
  
Even Jack and Zack, who were fake wrestling with each other, stopped and looked at the door with fear. We were all expecting her to be thrown out and to ruin our chance of playing, but she didn’t come back. That place had swallowed her up whole.  
  
We were all minorly freaking out, Rian the one who was the most anxious. Of course he was, he was more afraid of her being underage and in a bar, getting her or us into trouble, than afraid of what it would mean for our show. I was just worried that something would happen to her. She didn’t need more trouble on her plate.  
  
The moms immediately knew something was wrong when they joined us. They had parked just around the corner, but as soon as they saw us, they came jogging up. Jack’s overdramatic antics didn’t conceal anything. But you know what they say, a mother’s instinct is always right.  
  
“Mickey went in already!” Rian exclaimed, making big gestures towards the bar door.  
  
“Oh, okay, that’s all.” Zack’s mom brought a hand to her heart and sighed in relief.  
  
“She always gets into shit, though!” Jack added, whining loudly, not trying to hide that he was afraid that we couldn’t play anymore. I glared at him, trying to defend her, but he just gave me the middle finger. “You know it’s true!”  
  
“I’ll go in,” Jack’s mom offered and went to push the door open.  
  
I, however, with both my curiosity and nerves, couldn’t stand to wait any longer. I followed right after her, actually ending up in the bar before her. Something inside of me was waiting to see Mickey in some deep shit while the owner was calling the cops. But that strangely wasn’t the case. She was sitting at the bar with some sort of drink while laughing with the older man on the opposite side.  
  
“Mickey,” Jack’s mom sighed and walked up to her, “you know you shouldn’t be drinking anything.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” the older man shook his head, drying off a glass and putting it on a shelf, “I don’t serve alcohol to underage people.”  
  
Mickey picked up her glass, put the straw in her mouth, and took a long sip as she spun around on her barstool. Although I had only seen her in here very briefly, this was the happiest I had seen her. There was this twinkle in her eyes and a permanent tug at the corner of her lips. I never even thought Mickey was able to feel this way, especially without any alcohol or the usage of a fake ID.  
  
When her spin brought her back to face the bar, she put down the drink again and started flipping through a book, which I recognized to be her sketchbook, which was already on the surface. She eventually stopped on a page and started ripping it out.  
  
“Here, you can have this one,” she told the stranger and handed him the paper. I knew how she liked to keep her stuff to herself.  
  
He took it from her and took a look at it before putting it back on the bar beside her. “I can’t take that, it looks like it took a lot of time to make.”  
  
“Well, that one looks like it took ages to draw as well!” She argued, pointing over at a framed piece of paper hung up on the thin wall that started at the end of the bar. “I’ve got a lot of these, you can have it.”  
  
“Okay, then,” he chuckled and opened a drawer, pulling out what turned out to be a pin. He stuck it to the wall just above the frame. “I’ll make sure to get it framed tomorrow before somebody ruins it.”  
  
I finally dared to take a few steps closer to see what Mickey had given him. Up closer, however, the strange man didn’t seem so strange anymore. He looked very familiar, but I just couldn’t find out where I had seen him before. So I wouldn’t stare at him longer, I decided to take a look at the drawing.  
  
Mickey had given him a black pen outline of a dragon-like figure. It was detailed enough to have scales and intricate wings, but not detailed enough to have shading. I could see that it had taken long though, especially those individual scales. As great as it was, the already-framed drawing caught my attention. What I had believed to be something amazing was just a simple kid's drawing. There was a man with a blue shirt, sticks for arms and legs, a small girl in a pink dress and a crown on her head, and a big castle in the background. The only reason I understood why it had been hung up was the photo included in the frame. It was already a little dated, but I recognized the bar owner. He was smiling brightly at the camera, a little girl with long wavy brown hair and Minnie Mouse ears on on his shoulders. The background told me that they were in front of the infamous Disney World castle.  
  
“Who’s the girl?” I asked, only realizing how rude it sounded after the words had left my mouth. Here I was, asking a stranger about personal details from his life.  
  
But he didn’t answer. Mickey answered for him, looking over my shoulder, “that’s me.”  
  
There was normal surprise and my-girlfriend-has-been-living-a-secret-life surprise. I was experiencing the latter. _“You?!”_  
  
She simply nodded, not sharing any of my shock and spun so her back was to the bar. “Yeah, my fifth birthday. Michael was out doing god knows what, so I gotta go to go Disney World with my good ol’ uncle Danny. Prolly the best day of my life.”  
  
She sipped on her drink yet again, not going into any more detail. I looked back at the guy who apparently was her uncle ‘Danny’. And suddenly I got it. Although I hadn’t gotten very good looks at Mickey’s biological father, only quick glances, I could actually see the resemblance. They had a similar facial structure and deep-set eyes. However, this Danny guy seemed way more put together. He had less of a beer belly despite owning a bar, and his hair still had its nearly-black tint that was slowly graying. Despite his younger appearance, he did give me the vibe of an older brother.  
  
“You’re Mickey’s uncle?” Jack’s mom’s worries all washed away in one instant. She reached out a hand to shake. “I’m Joyce, Joyce Barakat, a mom of one of the boy’s who are still waiting outside.”  
  
“Daniel Barker,” he smiled and shook her hand.  
  
“Oh, not Kingsley?” she asked, making me facepalm internally. I thought she knew about Mickey’s situation, but apparently she didn’t know as much as I thought.  
  
“I changed my name ages ago,” Mickey shrugged, chewing on the black straw.  
  
“Okay,” she nodded, sensing that this wasn’t a matter to get further into now, “well, I’m going to get the others okay?”  
  
After she left the bar and went outside again to tell the others we were in the clear and that this was probably going to be the easiest venue for us to get in, Mickey’s uncle softly leaned forward and asked her in a hushed tone, “why are the others still outside?”  
  
“I tend to get in trouble,” Mickey raised her shoulders as if not understanding why, “they don’t want to get involved.”  
  
“Your ‘trouble’ often has the possibility of the police getting involved,” I commented jokingly, getting her uncle to raise up his eyebrows.  
  
Everything just happened quite quickly after that. The others came in before ‘Danny’ could question his niece any further. Although they still seemed close, something told me they hadn’t seen each other in ages. To him, she was still supposed to be this innocent girl, but Mickey was far from it. Him finding out about her present must have been a shocking as me finding out about her past.  
  
Soon after all introductions had been made, we got to start unpacking our trailer. We set up our equipment on the slightly raised stage and got to get ready in one of the back rooms. It was quite a nice bar, not one of those small ones that only occasionally showcased artists with no people to watch. The place had enough tables and space to show that quite a lot of people could come, and the back room had its fair share of stickers from previous bands.  
  
Mickey spent more of her time with her uncle instead of helping us out like she usually would do. She couldn’t even try to hang out in the bars if she wanted to with the two moms supervising us, but this looked like it was an exception. They didn’t seem to care. Not that I minded all too much.  
  
While we were waiting in the backroom until we got to go on, Mickey was still hanging around the bar with her uncle. We still had around forty-five minutes left before we actually got to play. So, we were literally hanging around, wondering what we could do to pass the time. You’d think we’d have methods of keeping us busy by now.  
  
“I’m actually really surprised how mature Mickey is,” Zack’s mom suddenly said out of nowhere, causing all of our eyes to snap towards her. “I heard all these stories, but nothing right now is similar. Those stories seem over-exaggerated.”  
  
“Well…” Rian started, being the only one who knew her ever since she moved across the street. “Huh, I guess you’re right. But this is still very abnormal.”  
  
I felt more than uncomfortable that they were talking about her behind her back, even if it wasn’t anything bad. If Jack would get started, all the things Rian didn't know about would come pouring out. It just felt wrong, especially since she was my girlfriend, but I couldn’t help but let something slip out of my mouth. “It’s to be expected, she practically raised herself.”  
  
“What?” Jack immediately blurted out as everybody turned to look at me instead. I was more surprised that everybody else seemed so shocked.  
  
“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows back like I didn’t know what I just had said.  
  
Rian scoffed, “you can’t just say something like that and not elaborate!”  
  
“Well, if you guys don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s your problem, not mine.” I shrugged, regretting the words I had said earlier. “Not my secret to tell.”  
  
“He’s got a point.” Zack nodded, seeming like the only voice of reason in the room. Even the two moms were interested in some gossip.  
  
“This is the most ambiguous thing, though!” Rian complained.  
  
“Oh, shut up,” I rolled my eyes and got some warning tones from the moms, “you’re the one who found out about her ‘father’ and her ‘dad’ first. Don’t act like you don’t know anything.”  
  
“But that has nothing to do with raising herself!” Rian sighed in frustration.  
  
“I agree with Rian,” Jack added like the nosey fucker he always was.  
  
Before I could refuse and make clear that I wasn’t going to break Mickey’s trust like that, she walked in, shutting us all up. I was relieved that I didn’t give in, knowing that I would have been in some deep shit right at that second. Everybody now taking their turn to stare at her, however, wasn’t all that subtle. They were still acting like they had just gotten some life-changing information.  
  
“What’s up?” she chuckled awkwardly and walked up to her bag to stuff some unidentified object into her bag. Only then did they all break away their gaze.  
  
“Just waiting till we get to do something,” I breathed out, showing off how bored we were just minutes before.  
  
“There’s a handful of people already waiting for y’all,” she told us to get us a little excited.  
  
“A handful?” Jack asked, sitting up. “Like three?”  
  
“At least three, yeah.” She nodded.  
  
Jack and I jumped up from our seats and rushed over to the door, opening it just a tiny bit so we could look out at the bar. I was expecting maybe one or two people at a table and another person at the bar, but I counted at least 30 and we weren’t even going to go up for another 40 minutes.  
  
“Three?!” I accused as we closed the door and Jack looked pumped. “That’s way more than three!”  
  
“Hey, I said _at least_ three, that’s at least three!” she defended, letting herself fall onto the chair I had been sitting on.  
  
Well, she wasn’t wrong.  
  
This was the only show where I got to see Mickey out in the crowd. Usually, she’d either be out in the back, watching from what could barely be considered ‘side stage’, or outside the venue. Now, however, I was able to look at her the entire time and watch her smile up at me. The small venue made it easy for me to spot her red hair after I looked away for a second.  
  
Although this was the case, I didn’t really get to talk to her anymore until we were back at our hotel for the night. Since we had to leave, she spent most of her time with her uncle while we were still at the bar instead of with us, helping us clean up. We still didn’t complain, though. Who knew when she was going to see him again. And then later, in the car, we were all exhausted.  
  
I only got to talk to her when everybody went back to the hotel rooms and I stopped her in the hall before she could follow the parents to their room.  
  
“I’m guessing this was one of the better nights for you,” I grinned, knowing that this reconnection must have meant a lot to her. It was the best show for me since it had the largest crowd, but I didn’t need to boast about that.  
  
“Yeah, I guess so…” she nodded softly with a shrug, not seeming as happy as I had expected. “I just-- why the hell was everybody staring at me when I entered the room before the show? And don’t lie to me, I know that wasn’t everybody just wanting to see who it was. They kept watching me until I reached my bag.”  
  
“Oh… yeah, that was nothing,” I brushed off, hoping I could get out of this without anything being blown out of proportions.  
  
“That wasn’t nothing.” She crossed her arms and gave me a straight face. She was almost in her full ‘bitch’ stance she used to use before we were friends. “I know when people are staring at me for a reason. And this wasn’t just because of my red hair.”  
  
“Maybe they felt sympathy for you?” I suggested. It most definitely was the most prominent emotion in that room.  
  
“And why would that be?”  
  
“Cause you seemed so happy to see your uncle!” I excused. It wasn’t exactly a lie, I knew that everybody had put one and one together. This whole uncle thing played a part in it.  
  
“They felt sympathy because I found my uncle again? That makes no sense.” She shook her head.  
  
There is this one moment you just know you can’t get out of something no matter what you do. I was at that point in this conversation. No matter what I made up, Mickey would know it wasn’t the truth. Even if I decided to bend the truth. She was just this type of person that could call you out every single time. So, there was no point hiding it anymore. Maybe telling her so soon without putting up much of a fight would make sure she wouldn’t get mad.  
  
“And because I might have accidentally told them that your biological father is an asshole…” I said lowly, secretly hoping she wouldn’t hear me.  
  
“You did _what?!”_ she seethed, taking a step away from me.  
  
“I thought they all knew!” I argued in my defense. “They all know your dad isn’t your biological dad, they all know you changed your surname. It only made sense if they figured out what that meant.”  
  
“It could also mean I just decided to live with my mom and took my dad’s name for convenience!” she shouted back, doing the opposite of what I hoped she would.  
  
“The fact that you call him your ‘dad’ without hesitation tells more than you think!” I knew I should have probably shut up and told her she was right, but I was so protective of my pride.  
  
“Well, they obviously didn’t fucking know, now did they?!”  
  
“So what if they know? It’s not really such a big deal. You can’t just go on with your life without your friends knowing anything about you,” I sighed, trying to show her that it really wasn’t going to change anything. We all knew how Mickey acted, they weren’t just going to look at her like some child that had to be rebellious now.  
  
“ _Not a big deal?!”_ She laughed forcefully. “Alex, now they all fucking think Michael ruined my life. They think he’s the one who made me into who I am. He has no control over my life whatsoever. Now they all think I’m some fucking troubled child all because I didn’t have a good parent the first thirteen years of my life. That’s not what fucking happened!”  
  
“Then what did?” I challenged.  
  
“You know what?” she shook her head and popped her tongue as she looked around. “I don’t want to see or speak to you right now.”  
  
“What?” I couldn’t believe what she was saying. She was taking this way too far. I didn’t do anything wrong. The opposite, actually. I didn’t say anything else to the others after they nearly forced it out of me. She had to be thankful.  
  
“I’m going back before I say something I fucking regret.” She turned on her heel and walked down the hall towards the room she shared with Jack’s and Zack’s moms.  
  
I breathed out heavily and went into my own hotel room, slamming the door behind me and glaring at Jack and Rian.


	49. Chapter Forty-Nine: Secrets Apparently Do Make Friends

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
I rushed to the hotel room after I heard Alex slam the door shut behind him. Just knowing that I was going to get sympathetic looks as soon as the moms saw me was both making my skin crawl and my blood boil. If there was one thing I absolutely couldn’t deal with, it was people feeling sorry for me. There was no reason to be sorry, I was doing just fine. I was living my life the way I wanted, not the way other people wanted. No stupid sympathy was needed.  
  
I put my backpack on the bed, feeling their stares on me, and pulled out all my essentials, which was basically just my wallet, stuffing it in the pocket of my jacket instead. After zipping up the bag, I finally looked up to see those sad ‘understanding’ eyes.  
  
“I’ll be right back,” I told them, grabbing my keycard along, and walking out of that room as well.  
  
Alex thought I was with the parents, and the parents thought I was with the guys. I just felt stupid for never thinking of this before. I could have easily pulled it off. But then again, I did have their trust now, they were constantly paranoid before. Nobody was actually going to check where they believed I was.  
  
And so I rushed down the hallway again, hearing loud voices coming from the guys’ hotel room, too muffled to be understood, and down the stairs to the lobby. Since I wasn’t the one left with the car keys today, I had to walk wherever I wanted to go now. I was just fortunate enough to have been here often enough to know my way around, or at least well enough that I could recognize specific landmarks. I had continued to visit my uncle out here up until I was thirteen, it was all about orientation.  
  
It only took me twenty minutes to reach my destination. Once again, I was stood underneath the sign with a barrel on it, the tinted windows in front of me. There was nowhere for me to go except to my uncle. It hadn’t been long since we left, so he was bound to still be there, especially since he owned the place.  
  
I entered the bar without thinking twice, the place now much emptier than when the guys were playing. There were still a few stragglers left behind who were staying for more drinks, but now there was also a slightly older demographic who came here for the ‘normal’ bar experience. Some even looked like regulars.  
  
I spotted an empty seat at the bar and b-lined to it, throwing myself on it before somebody else could take it. Not that anybody else was going for it, but my mood just made me do it. I was fed up and knew I would lose my temper if anybody came in the way.  
  
A bartender who wasn’t my uncle and who was way younger than him came up to me, a little hesitant. “What can I get for you?”  
  
“Just give me straight up tequila,” I grumbled, taking my chances.  
  
“Umm…” He gave me a long unsure look before his eyes shot around the room as he tried to find something to say. This was the first time in ages a bartender could just straight up tell immediately that I was underage and not just at the age that required ID checking.  
  
“Mickey, what are you doing here?” my uncle interrupted, and took over from the other bartender, informing him, “she’s underage. I’ll take it from here.”  
  
“Hi.” I smiled sweetly like I hadn’t just tried to get a drink.  
  
“I thought you guys left a while ago?” He frowned and removed the towel from his shoulder, throwing it on the counter instead.  
  
“We did… but I felt like hanging out with you… so I came back.” I batted my eyelashes along as well now, hoping he wouldn’t kick me out.  
  
“You’re not going to get any drinks from me,” he refused with a shake of his head.  
  
“That’s not why I’m here!” I gasped, actually happy to have somebody who wasn’t giving in just because they felt bad for me. “I’m actually here to spend time with you! We haven’t seen each other in years, who knows how long it will be again. It didn’t feel right being in the hotel and not spending as much time together as we could have.”  
  
He stared into my eyes for a couple of seconds before taking a look at our old Disney World picture. “Okay, fine, just let me--” he turned to the bartender from before and called out, “hey, Jeremy, are you fine with taking over and locking up tonight? I’m going to spend some time with my niece.”  
  
Jeremy nodded as my uncle pulled out the key and tossed it to him. A genuine smile spread across my face, excited to do whatever we were going to do. Maybe young me wasn’t used to having much fun, but time with Uncle Danny was always the best. Even now I could still feel the excitement I always felt when I was four.  
  
“So, what do you feel like doing?” He asked me, leaning over the bar.  
  
“Hmm…” My eyes fell on the drawing pinned up on the wall. I took the pin out and held the paper. “Do you know any good tattoo parlors around here?”  
  
“Tattoo parlor?” he asked.  
  
I shrugged and glanced at the many other tattoos littered on my arms. If he thought this was a strange question, then this was going to be quite an adventure for him.  
  
But he did actually know a tattoo parlor that we could just pop into. Apparently one of his friends owned it, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem as long as the design didn’t take too much time. It wasn’t all too large, so I was willing to try. There was nothing to lose. Really nothing...  
  
I was lucky because one of the clients had to cancel their appointment. The only challenging part was finding where I wanted to have my dragon. It didn’t feel right to fit in with everything else on my arms, my shoulder blades were also no longer an option, and it wouldn’t look good on my ribs due to the mermaid. In the end, I decided to get it on my left hip bone, just a small distance away from my belly button.  
  
My uncle watched as the tattoo artist started going over the outline already transferred to my skin. “And this doesn’t hurt you at all?”  
  
I shrugged softly, trying to take a look at the process myself. “No, not really. It stings a little, but it’s not really painful. A while back I broke my wrist falling from the roof, now that was painful.”  
  
“You fell off the roof?” His eyes went wide with shock.  
  
“Yeah,” I mumbled, wondering why I had decided to bring this up. This wasn’t something he needed to know. “Michael was drunk and in our house, so I had to escape.”  
  
“Michael?” He both wondered why his younger brother would do such a thing and why I was even calling him by his first name.  
  
“Yeah, he always says he has stopped, but I know better than that. He only really gets ‘mad’ when something goes wrong. Oh, and I stopped calling him dad ages ago, he’s last on the list of father figures.”  
  
“Hmm…” he nodded, seeming affected by what I was telling him.  
  
I could have stopped there, but for some reason more came out, things I hadn’t even ever told Alex. “Although, I probably would have graduated by now and would have had great grades. I mean, I do get good grades now, but I ruined any opportunity to get into any good universities with my GPA.”  
  
“I’m sure you’ll be okay,” he tried to comfort me, “if you do your best now, they’ll see you really did try to improve.”  
  
“Yeah, but I feel like I would have done better. I only started doing dumb shit when I moved in with mom. It doesn’t really make much sense,” I thought out loud, “I only started doing dumb shit when I had loving parents.”  
  
“Every kid rebels against their parents, especially if parents have good intentions that can only be executed in one way,” he explained despite never having had kids himself. It made me wonder what he would have been like as a father. Much better than Michael was for sure.  
  
“But I did some _dumb_ shit, like really dumb shit,” I made clear, thinking of times I could have easily lost my life. The worst part was that it happened on more than one occasion.  
  
He sighed, watching his friend continue working on the tattoo. “At least you know that now, and that’s what matters. Your father doesn’t have that same awareness.”  
  
“I guess so…” I breathed out, the stinging from the needle stopping me from overthinking, and turned my head to look at my uncle again. “Hey, can you give me your phone number so I can call you when I’m back home?”  
  
“Yeah, of course.” He smiled softly and got out a card from his wallet, handing it to me.  
  
Later, when I went to pay for the beautiful artwork now permanently on me, he stepped in and handed his credit card instead. I didn’t want him to, seeing as tattoos were quite an expensive accessory, but he insisted. He told me it was to make up for all the years we didn’t get to do something, that everything he saved by not taking me out could now be spent. Eventually I gave in, knowing that my bank account would have been dried up if I had paid all by myself, but I had totally been willing to do so.  
  
He even paid for the late night dinner we had at a fast food place. While I wanted to order moderately sized things, since I knew he’d be paying, he ordered things for me. As much as I loved food and the gigantic milkshake in my hands, I wasn't comfortable with it. It was just like Alex paying for my food when I had run away. Only, I definitely did prefer my uncle over Alex.  
  
With it being just past midnight and with our bellies full, we eventually did have to say goodbye, as much as I didn’t want to. If I had it my way, I would have stayed with him forever and never returned home, especially not in a van with Alex. But I had to go back, I couldn’t run away again. I had to finish high school and then I could go wherever I wanted.  
  
We decided to part ways at an intersection. His place was in one direction while the hotel was in the other. At first, he wanted to walk me back, especially at this hour, but I told him I was going to be just fine. I was used to walking around at late hours by myself, I knew how to defend myself, and I even had my knife. Nothing would happen. It was the least I could do after he paid for everything.  
  
“I’ll make sure to call you once I get home,” I told him just before our final goodbyes and taking a sip from the milkshake I still hadn’t finished.  
  
“That would be nice,” he agreed, “I miss spending days with you. Make sure you call me before your birthday, that way I can save the number and say happy birthday on the day.”  
  
I was about to say another kind thing back when I felt somebody approach me. They weren’t exactly quiet about it, and they were running at me. Even if I hadn’t heard the loud footsteps, I would have sensed the human body close to mine.  
  
My instincts kicking in, I spun around and managed to slam the person to the floor before they could touch me. To make sure they could move and try to attack me, I held their arms to the small of their back while pressing down on their upper back as well. A loud groan escaped the person's lips and they limply tried to squirm free.  
  
“Zack!” I exclaimed, surprised to see the bassist, who I still wasn’t very close to, in my death grip. “The fuck are you doing?!”  
  
He just groaned again and I looked up at my uncle. He was more shocked than he had been the entire night while finding out about the person I had become. Here I was, holding down a seventeen-year-old boy who hadn’t done anything wrong. It was quite a distressing sight, but at least he now knew I would have been fine walking back to the hotel myself.  
  
“You know you shouldn’t sneak up on me!” I exhaled loudly, harshly letting go of my grip.  
  
“M’sorry,” he mumbled, turning around on his back.  
  
“And you made me spill my milkshake!” I pouted, looking at the plastic cup that had fallen to the ground, the leftovers splattered on the sidewalk.  
  
My uncle was speechless, and I could only understand. I reached down and helped Zack back up to his feet. He limped a little, checking if all his limbs were still intact.  
  
“We’ve been looking all over for you!” Zack exclaimed as he had planned to do when he first approached me.  
  
This caused my uncle to scold, “you didn’t tell them you were going to see me?”  
  
“I did, but they must have obviously forgotten.” I rolled my eyes as Zack brushed himself off. “But I think this is a sign that I need to head back now.”  
  
“I think it is,” he nodded in agreement. “So, it’s now time to definitely say goodbye.”  
  
And we did, ending it with a hug.  
  
I helped Zack get back to the hotel while he continued to limp, claiming his right knee was hurting. While he called the others to say he found me, I let him lean on me so his body weight was spread out just a little more. It could have been a bonding moment for us, but I was too pissed that they had sent out a search party for me. I knew what I was doing, I didn’t need saving.  
  
My fury only increased when I saw everybody waiting in the lobby of the hotel. They were so ‘worried’ that they couldn’t just be fine with Zack calling them. They had to see me and be a welcoming committee. I was actually hoping they’d be mad at me, to show they knew it was all my choice and my choice only, giving me the consequences.  
  
Alex immediately ran up to me and hugged me tightly. But I pushed him off. Not only didn’t I want him touching me, but it made a pain soar through my entire side.  
  
“Ow, fuck, don’t _do_ that!” I took a sharp breath in and pulled up my shirt to check if the cling film was still in place on the fresh tattoo. Everybody saw it, but nobody said a word.  
  
Jack’s mom only asked me a question very softly and calmly. “You didn’t tell anybody you were leaving.”  
  
“I told Alex,” I shrugged, and pointed at him, “told him I was going back.”  
  
 _“Back?!”_ Alex burst out, his voice an octave higher. “I thought you meant back to the hotel room! Don’t you dare put this on me!”  
  
He was the only one that got mad at me, the only one who wasn’t excusing my behavior anymore. Zack’s and Jack’s moms actually gave him a look that told him to calm down, that he shouldn’t be mad at me. And then I knew for sure that everybody here was judging me based on my past, and not based on what I was doing now. All I ever wanted was for people to cut me some slack, but now that they were, it was horrible.  
  
“Look, I don’t know what Alex told you, but I’m not some fucking broken child,” I seethed, glaring at everybody individually. “You guys don’t know shit about me. Not even you!” I pointed angrily at Alex and stormed upstairs.  
  
This was worse than people yelling at me.


	50. Chapter Fifty: So Long and Goodbye

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
The morning after. It means so many different things. The morning after a one night stand, the morning after a wild party; it can literally mean the morning after anything, it’s not specified. Usually, though, I prefer to use it after something great has happened the night before. This time, however, it wasn’t good, it wasn’t good at all. It was the morning after the fight with Mickey and her running away.  
  
I knew why she was mad at me, but I didn’t quite understand it. She was pissed because everybody started to apparently treat her differently after I had mentioned how she had grown up. But what made no sense to me was that she was the most annoyed at me, and not at the people who were actually now changing their behavior towards her. That wasn’t my fault. I thought it was pretty obvious that her biological dad was a dick. But apparently nobody else knew, not even Rian had made the connection. But that wasn’t _my_ fault.  
  
So, breakfast was quite the adventurous thing. _Or not._ It was quite mellow with Mickey ignoring me completely and refusing to talk to anybody unless she had to. Sometimes it made me wonder why I put up with her. All that I had to think about was all the good times we had together, and I had to remember she didn’t have a parent around to show her basic social cues as a child. She didn’t know any better. It made it more difficult, but it was never _too_ difficult.  
  
Now, with what she did the day before, I at least expected her to be a little calmer and more collected. She had already acted out, and she proved her point before storming away and back to the hotel room. But she decided to see just how far she could push it.  
  
She put the spoon she was holding back into the almost empty yogurt bowl and looked up. “I’ve got some friends at the next stop. You guys cool if I hang out with them?”  
  
Seems like an innocent question. Just a girl wanting to visit old friends. But as far as I knew, Mickey didn’t do proper friends. She had fuck buddies and people she’d drink and smoke with. She didn’t have friendships like mine with Jack, Zack, and Rian. Sure, she was friends with us now, but it seemed like that was a first. So, I was in a dilemma. I knew it meant no good, but if I dare said something then I was at risk of her getting even madder.  
  
“Sure,” both moms agreed before I could think through both options.  
  
“Cool.” Mickey gave a single nod and went back to eating her yogurt, tuning out everybody yet again.  
  
“Tell you what,” Jack’s mom spoke up, “you can take the van if you take the guys with you.”  
  
Mickey raised an eyebrow and glanced at all of us, seeming very conflicted. It didn’t look like she really wanted us to come along. But getting the van? That had to be a good bargain, right?  
  
So, that was where we were. Mickey parked the van at the end of a sketchy alley, the entire neighborhood didn’t seem like a place we would usually go out to hang. No, this was a place where we’d rush if we had to stop for gas while fearing for our lives. Mickey, however, didn’t even seem to notice the state of the area--or she didn’t care. At least the trailer wasn’t attached to the van, we could always quickly drive away if necessary.  
  
Mickey already pressed the button to lock the car before we all even left it. Luckily the door was already open and it locked right after Zack slammed it shut, but we could all tell that Mickey definitely was back in her old mood of ‘everybody for themselves’. She didn’t wait for anybody as she started trekking through the dark alleyway as if it was the road to her house.  
  
A deep bass started echoing off the walls the further we went, however it was muffled beyond measures. There had to be some sort of club or something near, but there weren’t many entrance ways. The walls towered over us, weathered brick giving the place a grim look. Dark corners made your heart skip a beat. The only thing missing were gangs hiding out, waiting to pounce their prey.  
  
When we started approaching the only other person in the alley, who happened to be a large, tall buff guy who seemed even more intimidating than his surroundings, Mickey stopped and turned to us.  
  
Her eyes fell on me and Jack, mainly the latter, as she warned, “remember when I told you guys not to mess with the wrong people at the bonfire. Well, you can take that threat lightly and instead be more than just aware here. You just as look in the wrong direction, and you will end up dead in a ditch somewhere. I will not come to your rescue.”  
  
She turned on the ball of her foot again and continued to march forward giving us no remorse.  
  
“Umm…” Rian froze up looking back at where we had entered the alley.  
  
“I’m not going back,” I put my hands up in defense and started following Mickey.  
  
I knew that going into that club wasn’t going to be a good idea, that things would go wrong, but I was holding onto a little hope that she would actually help us out, that all she was giving us were empty threats. And the others didn’t want to risk walking back on their own, so they continued along as well.  
  
Wanting to feel a little like I wasn’t the lost puppy, I asked Mickey, “what if you look in the wrong direction?”  
  
“I don’t look in the wrong direction. You guys are newcomers. It’ll be like sharks smelling blood in the water,” she replied, not looking back at me.  
  
We all walked up to the intimidating man in black clothing and stood in front of him. His face was emotionless as his eyes traveled up and down our bodies, flickering between us all. Everything about his features was screaming that he wasn’t going to let us past the heavy black door that at first glance looked like it was soldered shut. However, that wasn’t how things went when Mickey was around. The guy’s lips twitched and his eyes lightened up.  
  
“Well, if it isn’t Mickey. Long time no see.” He smirked, his body language becoming less rigid and he opened the door, letting the music out of its cage. “Your usual’s waiting for you.”  
  
She nodded back and started towards the door before halting and jerking her thumb in our direction. “They’re with me… unfortunately.”  
  
“These rookies?” He chuckled deeply, looking over us again. Mickey didn’t answer and walked into the smokey mystery room. The guy gave us some advice before we followed, though. “You guys be careful in there. They have no mercy.”  
  
The mystery room led to a dimly lit stairway bringing us to the basement. Fluorescent lighting littered the roof, either broken or just barely flickering on and off. Hanging out with Mickey was the best way for me to get to know the darker parts of her. Just the entrance to this place gave me insight to how she had gotten so fearless and actually a little scary. Something told me that she wasn’t going to be the only one in there making Jack jump because of her switchblade. There were going to be people worse than Mickey at her darkest.  
  
As we started down the stairs, Mickey was already making her way into the underground club. It was only proof that she really wasn’t going to look out for us. Don’t get me wrong, I loved going to bars, clubs, and parties. All the places were a little sketchy, I mean they did let underaged people in no matter how crappy the fake IDs. But this was a whole new level.  
  
The place was fairly crowded, but empty enough for us to easily walk through. There was a bar to our left, the wall behind it cluttered with various bottles. A band was playing up on a slightly raised stage, distorted guitars and deep base coming out of the speakers as the woman with long jet-black hair covering her face sang. People were smoking all kinds of things, giving off a strange mixture of smells. Some were making out while others were dangerously close to cutting off their fingers as they played games with knives.  
  
I kept my eyes on Mickey’s bright red hair standing out between all the black clothes and hairstyles. Part of me expected her to go straight to the bar, after all the bouncer did say that ‘her usual was waiting’. Which was already strange because I couldn’t figure out why they would have known she was coming, especially if he had been so surprised to see her. Yet, Mickey ignored the bar completely, pushing away a guy who obviously liked what he saw and tried chatting her up.  
  
“This place is giving me the creeps,” Jack mumbled, doing his best to avoid any eye contact with anybody.  
  
“I don’t care what she says, we’re staying close to her,” Zack added as we stayed in our small group of four, shuffling a couple of feet behind Mickey. “I’m sure some of these people are just _‘lovely’_ , but some are totally giving us the wrong kind of looks. But she doesn’t seem fazed at all.”  
  
“Mickey will keep us safe,” I agreed, keeping my focus on the red hair.  
  
“Really?” Rian snorted and shook his head, doing his best to keep up. “She literally told us she wouldn’t. What makes you think otherwise? Cause she loves you or some shit?”  
  
I rolled my eyes and kept in a sigh. _“No,_ cause she’d be in some deep shit if anything happens to us. And now that I think about it, she might actually purposely make something happen to us now.”  
  
“And why would she do that!”  
  
“Because you’ve all be treating her like everything she does is because of her childhood.” I shrugged as we started approaching one of the last tables in the entire venue. For some reason, the sudden realization made me even tenser, Mickey really wasn’t going to help us out if something went wrong.  
  
Before anybody could push the subject even further and once again ask me about her childhood, Mickey seemed to have found what she was heading for. Right at that last table was her ‘usual’. It was quite a weird wording for what it actually meant. A guy about Jack’s height but a lot less lanky stood up from the table, a bright grin spread across his face. Just like most people here, his hair was an ink color, but his was most noticeably dyed. His eyebrows were a distinct lighter shade of brown, but the black really emphasized his annoying piercing blue eyes and irritating sharp jawline. Still, those eyebrows just weren’t the same color.  
  
“I didn’t recognize you with your red hair and those awesome tats,” he told her with much enthusiasm and opened his arms wide.  
  
Knowing Mickey, she’d laugh at him and push him away, ridiculing him for even having the thought of giving her a hug. It took ages for me to get into such a personal space with her, and even after getting together she was still cautious. She never told me about any possible real friends she had, so this was no exception. But then again, she was full of surprises that day. She hugged him tightly without even a moment of hesitation.  
  
“Your hair’s still black, though,” she pointed out as they let each other go.  
  
“Of course it is,” he laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulders and began guiding her away and back into the masses. “Let me buy you a drink.”  
  
It didn’t seem like we were going to get any formal introduction or anything. Once again, it proved that Mickey really didn’t care about what the hell we were doing. And she obviously didn’t need our company either, she found her friend. But that wasn’t going to stop us from following her. That was a risk we weren’t willing to take.  
  
“You’ve got some ducklings imprinted on you,” the guy commented, nodding his head in our direction over his shoulder.  
  
“I know,” Mickey simply replied, still not acknowledging us any further. If we hadn’t had a large target on the back of our heads before, we definitely did now that it was obvious we didn’t belong and had no clue where we were.  
  
“New recruits?” He questioned further as he casually leaned against the bar, his black shirt and leather jacket showing off his body just too much for my liking.  
  
“New recruits?” Mickey repeated with a burst of laughter. “Getting reading for a zombie apocalypse or something?”  
  
“You never know,” he retorted and softly slammed his hand onto the wood as the bartender came to serve us. The still unnamed guy immediately put in the order. “Two simple Jack and Cokes, and for the four boys…” a devilish smirk appeared on his face, “how about a _zombie_ each, huh?”  
  
“Jordan!” Mickey scolded and hit his arm.  
  
“It’ll be fun!” he defended, his evil grin still very much there.  
  
“You can’t do that. I’d prefer them not to throw up all over me,” she told him with a serious tone, making him step down.  
  
“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, “give them a Jack and Coke each too. You’re a buzzkill.”  
  
“I got you with it first, and we both know how that turned out. There’s no need to have that times four.”  
  
“What would it do to us?” Jack had gathered the courage to ask.  
  
The guy who I now knew was called Jordan and who, for some reason, annoyed the shit out of me, leaned forward and looked at Jack who was second last in our line all at the bar. He squinted his eyes and leaned his head against his propped up arm, inspecting Jack before moving his gaze to Mickey with a questioning look.  
  
After she shrugged, he started taking us in again, making me wonder if this what Mickey had warned us about. Had Jack given a wrong look? Weren’t we supposed to trust this friend she seemed quite close with? I didn’t know how any of this worked.  
  
But all that came out of his mouth was “where you guys from?” along with a gesture of his head.  
  
“B--” Rian checked if any of us were going to say something but finished off his answer when nobody did. “Baltimore”  
  
“Baltimore? I thought you hated that place!” Jordan raised his eyebrows in surprise at Mickey.  
  
So this guy really did know a lot about her life. Maybe even more than me.  
  
“It’s actually not that bad,” she responded and immediately took a sip of her drink as it arrived.  
  
However, before any of us could even think about drinking the free drink we had gotten, some large bigger-than-muscular guy stood next to Jordan, towering over us all. The bouncer outside the club was nothing compared to this skinhead. Jordan just casually turned his head towards this hulk like it was no big deal.  
  
“You’re needed in the back,” he boomed at Jordan, crossing his arms and creating a barrier so he couldn’t run away.  
  
 _“I’m_ needed in the back? Oh goody, I’m never needed in the back!” Jordan cheerfully clapped and hopped up.  
  
Mickey had a different idea, though, and grabbed his arm before he could do exactly as the intimidating dude ordered. She gave him the most serious look she had given anybody since we had arrived, lacking any threats, and warned, “Jordan.”  
  
It didn’t stop him and he started following the man. I took a good look at Mickey as she stared in front of herself, thinking of something I couldn’t decipher. All I knew was that all the blood had drained from her face and she looked terrified. That when you know something is horribly wrong. If Mickey is scared, then most normal people should have already passed out due to the immense fear they experienced.  
  
Something inside of her snapped and she rushed to follow Jordan, causing me and the others to then follow her. What I had believed to be the back of the venue before hadn’t been so at all. There was another black door that seemed irrelevant, like something for employees only. As irrelevant as it may have seemed, we were led into it. The dusty air from before was completely filtered out, but the room was completely dark except for a few stray lights.  
  
A woman just a little older than us with dark green hair tied up in strange braids, piercings littering her brow bone, nose, and ears, and rather uncomfortable-looking clothing including a corset was sat on a raggedy armchair at a low table which was covered in several used whiskey glasses. A white powder was collected into a small heap, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t powdered sugar. I might have never used it, but something about the atmosphere made it impossible for it to be anything other than drugs.  
  
“Oh well, will you look at that,” the woman grinned and intertwined her fingers as she spoke in an obnoxious voice, “I told you Mickey-Poo would come! I just-- You follow Jordan to protect him, and these four boys follow you… but I can’t imagine they can protect you!”  
  
I thought I had feared before, but I knew then that I truly had never actually felt fear until then. All other fear I still knew in the back of my head that I would make it out alive, but I didn’t know that this time. I was starting to regret wanting to come with Mickey. I had hoped to find out a bit more about herself, and now it was like I was literally inside the bad guys’ layer in a Bond movie, only there was nobody to save us.  
  
Why the fuck did Mickey ever associate herself with people like this?  
  
“Come on, Mickey-Poo! Have a drink with me for old times sake!” The woman tried luring her in, getting one of the scary looking guards to pour two new glasses of whatever she was drinking before.  
  
Now would be the point that Mickey would usually decline along with a rude remark, but she stayed silent and just stood there. After a while, she finally started moving slow and cautiously. First, she swept past Jordan, her hand grazing him, making my blood boil without it overpowering my fear. Slowly but surely, she kneeled down on the floor next to the table, the woman pushing one of the glasses in front of her.  
  
“There we go,” the woman smiled overly sweetly, waiting for Mickey to pick up the glass. “Drink up nice and easy.”  
  
Mickey took a quick look at Jordan and a longer one at the drink before downing it quickly. It was like we were being forced to watch Mickey being tortured. She wasn’t physically being tortured, but seeing her so vulnerable was painful.  
  
“Not so difficult now, was it?” The woman continued to degrade her before picking up a card and starting to neatly put the aforementioned drugs in lines. “Now, to celebrate our coming back, we shall…”  
  
“I don’t think so.” Mickey shook her head and started backing up, finally talking back.  
  
“Mickey-Poo! For old times sake!”  
  
This time Mickey gave Jordan a look with so much more meaning. When she looked away, Jordan stared at us instead, trying to catch our attention. He took an obvious look at his hand loosely holding out five fingers. He put down one, starting a countdown before glaring at the door signaling us. In the meantime, Mickey started leaning forward, picking up the already rolled-up paper. I was unsure what was going to happen, but if Jordan was telling us to go out that door after the countdown, I sure as hell was going to.  
  
When Jordan’s fingers had all formed a fist, Mickey blew away the lines in front of her and we bolted out of the door. I couldn’t look back to see if she managed to get away as well. Jordan was pushing us out of the venue, not giving us any chance to slow down. We just went past the bouncer like it was nothing. Jordan quickly moved to the front to lead, but I couldn’t get myself to follow him. I needed to know if Mickey escaped.  
  
Just a few seconds later, Mickey came bolting up the stairs. She saw me standing a shouted, “the fuck, Alex, follow them!”  
  
She didn’t even stop before she started running in the opposite direction.  
  
“Mickey!” I yelled back. “But--”  
  
“For fucksake, Alex, just listen to me for once!” She screamed as she continued to run away, fresh loud footsteps coming up the stairs.  
  
I wasn’t able to run until the bouncer gave me one word of advice, _“run.”_  
  
So, I did. I rushed as fast as I could. Jack, Zack, and Rian had already managed to get into the van, which Jordan somehow had the keys to. I jumped into the passenger’s side when I reached it completely out of breath.  
  
This didn’t sit right with Jordan, who was sat in the driver’s seat. He gave me a look as if I was crazy and yelled, “the fuck do you think you’re doing! Get in the back!”  
  
I hopped out without hesitating, and got into the back as instructed, slamming the sliding door shut and letting myself fall onto one of the seats. Not even a second later, the sound of the doors locking echoed through the car, the only other sound being our pants.  
  
“The hell just happened?” Jack spoke up, the first to get that ability back.  
  
“Mickey-- she ran in the opposite direction!” I blurted out, still trying to regain my breath.  
  
“Well, she has seven minutes to get here,” Jordan announced from the front, the only one who took the situation lightly and seemed so casual about it.  
  
“Seven minutes? What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned, trying to hide all panic in my voice.  
  
“If she’s not here by then, we drive off in seven minutes.” He shrugged and adjusted the mirror.  
  
“We can’t leave her behind!” I argued. There was no way I could live with myself if the last thing we had done together was fight.  
  
“Promises are promises. I’ll be putting our lives in danger if we don’t leave then.”  
  
“When in the world did you guys make these promises!?”  
  
“Like four years ago,” Jordan put an arm behind the armrest of the passenger seat and turned around to look at us, “before she knew you dumbasses.”  
  
I sensed it was best for me to stop talking then and not only because he was becoming agitated. I was quite pissed off myself. It was so unfair that I knew nothing about this Jordan guy. Everything just pointed to them being the closest ever. And Mickey was just telling me that she never had friends. It wasn’t adding up.  
  
After a few moments of silence, I decided a calmer approach. “How do you know Mickey?”  
  
“The same way you guys do,” he grunted back.  
  
“Wait, so she also slept with your best friend,” Jack decided it was time to make a joke at the worst time possible, “who then bugged her for so long until she finally gave in and agreed to be his girlfriend?”  
  
“None of what you’re saying makes any sense to me,” Jordan shook his head, not bothering to look back at us again, keeping his eyes on the clock instead.  
  
“Nevermind…” Jack sighed.  
  
“He’s saying Alex is Mickey’s boyfriend,” Rian clarified, showing he had more balls than any of us ever expected.  
  
Jordan just full on laughed for a couple of seconds before trying to talk through it, “boyfriend? You wish! Mickey doesn’t have boyfriends. She has things she calls ‘boyfriends’, but not actual boyfriends.”  
  
“I know,” I deadpanned, ignoring him further and instead taking offense by Jack’s comment before. “And I didn’t bug Mickey until she gave in an became my girlfriend! She came on to me. I just wanted to be friends and was about to call it quits, but _she_ came on to _me.”_  
  
“Huh… I thought you got together after your little trip to Ohio,” Rian pointed out. “I saw you guys.”  
  
“I don’t even know anymore.” I ran a hand through my knotted hair out of frustration. “Apparently I don’t know shit about her. I had to find out about her asshole father by accident. If I hadn’t forced myself into her car when she wanted to run away-- I should shut up before I get myself into more shit. This is what started this all in the first place.”  
  
“Okay…” Jordan nodded, seeming interested and finally turned to us again, taking a good look at me. “Well you’re not fucking lying to me and this doesn’t seem like something you believe is true but actually isn’t true. You really are Mickey boyfriend… Dude…” He looked out the window and down the alleyway and glanced at the clock again. “We have three minutes left, how about I tell you about me and Mickey?”  
  
I didn’t know what he was doing at that time, but I understood it later. He didn’t even wait for any of us to give an answer before he started telling us his story.  
  
“Long story short, we happened to be in the same class, but that’s not how we met at all,” he told us, occasionally checking the time. “We actually met not too far away from here. I grew up nearby and had to go out to buy groceries cause it’s just me and my mom and she was working. You might not believe it now, but I was quite a frail kid, totally would have lost any survival of the fittest scenarios. Anyway, grocery trip obviously didn’t go all that well. It’s not that fun being mugged at fourteen, fifteen. Mickey helped me out and took me under her wing. That kid was strangely scary at that age. Anyway, fast forward, I started learning the ropes. This club obviously is one of the places we hung out. She was really stuck in Annette’s--the woman down in the basement--way of life. That shit she wanted her to take… Coke. Mickey overdosed on that shit before her parents made her move away.”  
  
“Mickey overdosed?” I felt myself fill with worry and concern. It was yet another dark part of her past that I knew nothing about. Nothing had ever made me think she had ever had something so bad happen to her before. I knew about her tendencies to sleep around, but this was so much more personal and grim.  
  
Jordan didn’t reply, neither confirming or denying anything he said and sat back properly in his seat. “It’s been seven minutes… sorry, kid.”  
  
The engine started up and he put the car in drive.


	51. Chapter Fifty-One: Near Death Experience

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
I didn’t feel fear, I didn’t feel pain, I didn’t feel anything. All my mind was on was that I had to get hell out of there. I couldn’t even remember exactly what happened, I had been running mainly on adrenaline and I was starting to crash. It was exhausting sprinting down the alleyway, knowing that I was most likely stranded there.  
  
As soon as we had entered that backroom, I knew nothing good was going to come out of anything. Annette was a manipulative bitch who thought she could easily get her way by degrading others. Even the sketchiest and threatening people I knew would be haunted by her. She had this way of being so discreet that you wouldn’t even realize what she was doing until it was too late. I had learned that the hard way, just like everybody else. So, when she ‘invited’ me to have a ‘friendly’ drink, I knew better. I gave the car keys to Jordan, knowing he’d keep the others safe. He knew how this worked.  
  
And I knew it had been way longer than seven minutes.  
  
At least they would have gotten away. I just knew that I most likely wasn’t going to come out of here in one piece. This place just screamed murder. Even if I wouldn’t get attacked, I wouldn’t have made it back in one piece. I was definitely hurt already, I just didn’t notice it.  
  
To my surprise, the van was still exactly where I had parked it, only the engine was on and all the passengers were focused on Jordan like they were heavily discussing something. It didn’t matter to me if they were having a tea party or if they were arguing, I just wanted to get into that car. I opened the passenger door and let myself fall on the seat before slamming it closed with the bit of strength I still had left in me. Everybody looked at me with a shocked expression until Jordan snapped out of it and sped off.  
  
“I _told_ you!” Zack shouted, leaning forward between the row of seat in front of him. “And you wanted to leave!”  
  
 _“Hey!”_ Jordan snapped back while running a red light. “I don’t break promises. They are made for a reason! If we had waited any longer they could have come for us.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and broke the fight by asking a simple question, “anybody have a tissue?”  
  
Jack happened to be sitting next to a pack and was the closest to the front, so he pulled one out, holding it out for me to take. I held up my right hand which was covered in a drying red substance and took the tissue to clean it off.  
  
“Ah!” Jack yelped as soon as he saw my hand, knowing there was no way it was ketchup. Everybody else jumped as their eyes also fell on my hand.  
  
“Don’t worry, it’s not my blood…” I sighed and took my other hand so I could clean both off only to find that is was covered in glistening fresh blood. Looking down, I saw my entire shirt sporting a similar color, the wound in the area of my new tattoo. “This though…”  
  
“Oh fuck,” Alex gasped, amplifying the worry in the air.  
  
“I’m fine,” I mumbled and slouched back into the seat, trying to scrub my hands with the single tissue while unsure what to do with the blood seeping out of my lower abdomen.  
  
“Shit, dude, what happened?” Jordan glanced towards me and was the only one who was actually able to see what was going on.  
  
“I don’t remember,” I shook my head, feeling the blood loss starting to mess with me. “But apparently I’ve been stabbed.”  
  
Without hesitation, he pulled off his shirt despite already recklessly driving. He threw it at me so he wouldn’t keep his hands off the wheel for too long and said, “use that to keep pressure on it, we’re going to my place.”  
  
I just made sure to not move too much and possibly make the stab wound worse as Jordan drove. Maybe I was drifting in and out of consciousness, maybe I was too tired to know what was going on around me, or maybe I was unfazed by everything, but the drive was a blur. I didn’t know if anybody was talking, and if they were, what they were talking about. And I sure as hell couldn’t remember the route. Getting back to the hotel was going to be a bitch.  
  
Jordan lived by himself in a one-bedroom shabby apartment. His kitchen and living room were also literally one room, a square table placed in the middle to separate the two and to eat at. He didn’t have much more furniture. There was a single army-green couch against a wall and a TV on the floor. No decoration whatsoever except for the paper target stuck on a door out of its hinges. Back when I lived in this city, he still lived with his grandparents. It was definitely a downgrade, but I understood the want to live alone.  
  
I immediately went to sit on the couch, Alex quick to sit next to me on the side that hadn’t been cut. Slowly but surely Jack, Rian, and Zack also came to sit whether on the leftover space on the couch or on the floor, while Jordan went to his bathroom to find some bandages.  
  
I leaned into Alex, feeling like shit and it wasn't just because I had literally been stabbed. My selfishness had put everybody in danger. Sure, I had been lucky enough to be the only one hurt, but I knew that that club wasn’t a place for Alex and the others to be at. I was trying to prove something and I didn’t even know what. Of course, I did want to see one of the only friends I had back in the day, but I could have easily searched him up and asked to go somewhere else, especially with the others there.  
  
At least nobody was saying anything. We were all silent, still processing everything that happened. Not even Alex bombarded me with obnoxious questions. All he did was wrap an arm around me to bring me closer and nuzzle his nose into the top of my head. He obviously was trying to comfort me, but something told me it was also to calm himself. Once again, I had been lucky. I managed to get away with just a stab wound. It could have been way worse.  
  
Jordan eventually came back with his hands full of things. He shooed Rian away who had decided to sit on my other side yet still had left quite a lot of space in fear of hurting me. As soon as Rian jumped up and went to the other side of the room so he wouldn’t have to see, Jordan laid down a towel and dropped all the other things on top of it.  
  
“So, I’m out of painkillers,” he told me as he held the needle over the flame from his lighter. After, he drenched a cotton ball in alcohol and cleaned the needle again. “This will hurt like a bitch and you will most likely pass out.”  
  
“I know how it works. I’m the one who taught you how to do this, asshole,” I grumbled, not looking forward to the needle piercing my skin.  
  
“I’m just warning, I don’t know how loopy you are from this blood loss,” he explained and got the antiseptic ready. “Now let’s take a look, huh?”  
  
I threw away Jordan’s shirt which I had been pressing against my body and decided to take of my own shit as well since it was bloodstained anyway. Everybody except for me and Jordan looked away in fear and disgust, even Alex who was trying to be so supportive wouldn't dare take a glimpse. I just wanted to make sure I really did need stitches or if I could get away with another method such as butterfly bandages. But it definitely needed to be stitched up.  
  
Jordan sprayed antiseptic on it first, sending a shock through my body. It stung like hell, but I refrained from hissing. And that was only the easy part. While he loved to warn me before, he didn’t decide to warn me before sticking the needle in. It was even worse than being stabbed and I felt myself getting light headed. But I wasn’t going to let myself faint in front of all these people. I just hid my face in Alex’s neck and concentrated on my breathing.  
  
It took way longer than I would have liked it to. Using a straight needle wasn’t the easiest and made it take way longer to stitch up. But I bore through it, occasionally gritting my teeth to deal with the pain. The sting of the second round of antiseptic after Jordan was done was nothing compared to the actual sutures. When he placed the bandage on it, it was like the silence could finally be broken.  
  
Jordan cleaned up, simply throwing all the equipment on the counter next to the sink and turned on the music on his stereo before pulling out a very suspicious looking bag from one of the cupboards in his kitchen. You didn’t have to be close to know that it was weed. He took it with him back to the couch, sitting where he had placed the towel before, leaving Rian to sit on the floor with Jack.  
  
“You guys ever smoke weed before?” Jordan asked as he started grinding it up.  
  
“Not really… maybe once or twice?” Jack scratched his head, looking at Alex for confirmation. Alex nodded to say as far as he knew, Jack was right. Rian seemed a little more lost, though.  
  
But I couldn’t imagine smoking and getting high now. I was in no way against it, and if we had been in any other situation I probably would have been happy to join in, but I couldn’t now. The pain was excruciating, making me nauseous and feel like I was going to pass out. Adding getting high on top of that was just a disaster waiting to happen. On one hand, it could have maybe helped with the pain, but the nausea was too bad.  
  
I got up, remembering that Alex and I were actually still fighting and that I couldn’t just expect something like this to make it all up, and went towards the stereo, my shirt still somewhere on the floor. While Jordan started lighting two joints and ‘mentoring’ the guys how to smoke it properly, I decided to take a look at the stack of CDs, acting like I was busy doing something else.  
  
At one point, I heard a loud coughing coming from Rian, making me wonder what I had done. I really must have screwed up if even he was up to getting high. He obviously wasn’t doing it properly, but that just proved how innocent he had been before.  
  
I didn’t look back at what was happening, but I could smell it all, making the nausea even worse. At least I was staying sober so I could drive back despite also definitely not being in the right place of mind either. But I wasn’t going to let some high high school boy drive in a dangerous neighborhood he didn’t know.  
  
Eventually, I felt a presence behind me as I switched the CD to _Hot Fuss_ by _The Killers_ , feeling like I had to change the music now that I was standing here.  
  
“You okay?” Alex whispered, pleasantly surprising me that he didn’t smell like he just took a puff as well.  
  
I nodded softly and pressed the play button, letting the bass riff of the first song fill the room.  
  
“Mickey…” he muttered, not daring to touch me. “You know I don’t judge you. Let’s just--”  
  
“Let’s talk,” I interrupted quietly before he could say the same exact words. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to apologize. I was.  
  
I took hold of his hand and went in the direction of what could only be the bedroom. Nobody seemed to care that we were walking there, they were all too focused on the joints by now. I softly closed the door behind us while Alex stood at the end of the bed, watching me and waiting for me to start talking.  
  
But I couldn’t do it. I went straight to hugging him. He understood, though, and hugged me back, one hand on the back of my head and the other careful not to touch anywhere near the bandage.  
  
“I’m sorry,” I breathed shakily, a tear falling from my eye.  
  
Alex shook his head, the movement rippling through our intertwined bodies. “You didn’t know she would be there. You just thought you were going to get a drink with an old best friend.”  
  
I pulled away and dried my tears quickly and I shook my head myself to show that he was wrong. “Not just that. For getting mad at you and blaming you for everybody else treating me like some broken child now. I-- I could have gotten you guys killed.”  
  
Apparently I hadn’t done a great job at drying my tears, because Alex managed to get rid of even more that had fallen on my cheeks. “But you didn’t, and that’s important.”  
  
“But I knew Annette would most likely be there, and I knew she wouldn’t just let me be.”  
  
“Maybe you were just trying to get back to the life you once had to prove you’re still that same person.” Alex shrugged, once again being way too cool with everything. “But you’re not. You’re not that same person. You’re way better than her. Hell, you’re way better than the girl you were when you first walked into Dulaney High and caught my eye.”  
  
I could only stare at him and think that he could actually be right. In the heat of the moment, I leaned forward and kissed him, careful enough not to hurt myself but deep enough for what I was feeling. It was strange but important.  
  
However, Alex slowly pushed me away with caution. “Don’t try to change the subject by convincing me to have sex with you.”  
  
I laughed a little, breathing out deeply and shook my head yet again, only not as determined as last time. “I just-- _I don’t know where I’d be without you right now.”_  
  
Alex grinned a little and initiated the next kiss. It was comforting after everything that had happened that day, like a small glimpse of light after a heavy tiring storm. His hand was on my cheek still from drying my tears prior, only now being used to steady ourselves. And while we’d usually get down to business quite quickly after my shirt came off, we actually took a slower and heavier pace this time. The only problem was that it caused Alex to automatically pull me closer to deepen the kiss. My wound was pressed into his belt, causing me to jump away.  
  
I hissed and bent over before screaming loudly, _“fuck!”_  
  
And it was like even more weight was lifted off my shoulders.  
  
“Shit!” Alex reacted. “Sorry!”  
  
“No, no, it’s fine,” I told him as I regained my breath and composure, the stab wound still very much stinging.  
  
“We seem to do this a lot,” he laughed after a while.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Hurt each other… accidentally, that is.”  
  
“I guess so,” I nodded, giggling as well.  
  
“Just know that I would never intentionally hurt you, especially with some stupid thing I say,” he said seriously, taking hold of my hand and running his thumb over my knuckles which happened to be bruised.  
  
I looked at our hands for a while before quietly speaking up, “Alex?”  
  
“Hm?” His eyes snapped up to my face from wherever they were looking, whether that be our hands, my bandage, or maybe even my breasts.  
  
“I wanna go back… I don’t want to stay here…” I mumbled.  
  
He nodded, letting go of my hand and pulling off his hoodie before giving it to me to wear. “We should first drop off the others at the hotel and then I’m taking you to the hospital. I’ll drive.”  
  
“Hospital?” I frowned as I pulled my arms through the sleeves and carefully zipped up the hoodie far enough to cover me.  
  
“To get you proper stitches. We’re not risking you getting an infection.”  
  
“Oh…” I nodded and decided not to put up a fight. Actually, with the constant ache I was feeling, I didn’t mind getting some painkillers and proper stitches.  
  
So, we got the other three, saying goodbye to Jordan, before they were even done with their joints. They were, however, already high. It was quite a tough one to explain to the parents, but they let us go off easier because Alex stressed that I needed to go to the hospital and because we were sober ourselves. Zack’s mom came with us while Jack’s mom gave the others some serious lecturing which they probably weren’t even taking in with how it was hitting them. Of course we did lie a little about how I got stabbed in the first place. They didn’t need to know the exact details, especially about Annette.  
  
The only good thing that came out of it was that they allowed Alex to share a bed with me while Jack’s mom stayed with the others so they couldn’t do any more stupid shit. I felt a little guilty for them getting into trouble. I was the one that took them with me and Jordan was my friend, but I wasn’t the one who offered the weed and I wasn’t the one who told them to smoke. That was on them.


	52. Chapter Fifty-Two: Broken Silence in the Room

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
“Hey, Mickey?” I spoke, breaking the silence in the room.  
  
We were back home from our mini tour packed with adventure. Although her mom freaked out when she found out Mickey had been stabbed on one of the last days, she didn’t get grounded or anything, which was quite a surprise. Hence why Mickey came over on a Saturday afternoon with no trouble despite getting into a shitload of trouble on the trip. We were lying on my bed not doing anything, Mickey with an arm draped across my chest and the side of her face resting against my shoulder.  
  
“Hmm?” she hummed in response, not moving an inch.  
  
“This might sound like a random question…” I started, no longer being able to stand the wonder in me ever since that night. “But your friend--”  
  
“Jordan?”  
  
“Uh-huh,” I nodded before continuing, “he said something in the car while we were waiting for you to come back. It’s a little personal, but he said you overdosed before…”  
  
“Yeah… not exactly my smartest move,” she confirmed but didn’t give any other details.  
  
“That must have been terrifying.”  
  
“Well, it was for my parents. But I was too high beforehand to really remember anything. Fifteen-year-old me managed to get addicted to coke and took it a little too far. I felt great when I was still taking it, but after I had been admitted to hospital, I felt like absolute shit. Addiction isn’t easy to break out of. I went to rehab and got better, but now I stray away from it. I don’t need to fall back in that routine. It’s one of the reasons I had to redo a year at school,” she told me in quite a soft and calm voice. It was the first time she willingly told me about something without withholding anything.  
  
“But why start in the first place?” I still asked. I just wanted to understand her.  
  
“You’ve been to a party with me before.” She pushed herself up a little so that she wasn’t practically lying on top of me anymore and looked at me. “People encourage it and it’s easy to get hooked onto.”  
  
“At least you’re not taking it anymore,” I said to turn it into something positive. It was a heavy subject, but that didn’t mean we had to keep a heavy mood.  
  
“If I would have, my mom would have moved us out of here a long time ago. Trust me, it happened once, she won’t miss it again.” She rolled over, lying back on her back, making my side feel cold.  
  
Sensing that this was the end of that conversation and missing Mickey being so close to me, I pushed myself up on my elbows and leaned towards her until I was almost hovering over her. After watching for a little while to check if she was okay with what I was planning on doing, I closed the space between us and pressed my lips against hers. Although I made sure to be careful with her stitches, kissing her was still one of the most exhilarating things I would ever do no matter how innocent. I still got that same feeling as the very first time. Only this time it wasn’t screaming at me to keep her around, it was screaming at me to make sure she wouldn’t just leave.  
  
But our connection got interrupted by my mom shouting my name from downstairs, “Alex!”  
  
I sighed and sat upright, looking in the direction of my door which was open ajar as per my parents’ request, before yelling back,“what?!”  
  
As she started replying, Mickey reacted to me yelling way too loud. I couldn’t hear the first part of whatever my mom said since Mickey decided it was okay to hit me on the head with a pillow to show her annoyance.  
  
While I missed the first sentence, my mom ended it with, “Jack’s here!”  
  
“Okay, send him up!” I shouted back even though I wasn’t expecting him to come over at all. It did get me another hit to the head with a pillow from Mickey, though.  
  
“What was that for?” I laughed while rubbing my head and trying to fix my hair  
  
“You’re loud and I wanted to take a nap,” she grumbled and sat up as well because Jack was going to be here anytime soon, his footsteps were already loudly coming up the stairs.  
  
Jack entered the room and immediately saw the red hair contrasting against my mainly black, white, and gray choice of colors for my bedroom. “Oh, hey, Mickey. Didn’t know you were here.”  
  
“You would have known if you called beforehand,” I retorted, not moving from my position while he let himself fall down onto my desk chair.  
  
“Okay, well, whatever,” he brushed it off as if he was the one that was supposed be annoyed in this situation. “Anyway, I guess I’ll just be able to ask you both this question I have… do you guys believe in love at first sight?”  
  
“Oh my god, Jack,” Mickey groaned and rubbed her eyes before giving him a look that said she couldn’t believe what he was asking. “Is this about that one girl who comes to Rita’s a few times a week? Cause she’s not into you. She’s obviously into girls. If anything, she’s pining after me.”  
  
“Umm, excuse me, _no,”_ he shook his head at her, sounding offended. “And she’s so into me. So, shut up.”  
  
“Has she ever shown up whenever you work a shift without me? Oh, and she stares at my boobs longer than it takes her to choose ice cream,” Mickey shot back, crossing her arms.  
  
Of course, the idea of somebody hitting on my girlfriend didn’t sit right with me. But then again, I was a teenage boy. The thought of Mickey with another girl put a grin on my face. If was definitely an image I was keeping for later.  
  
“Okay, fine! _Jeez!”_ Jack put his hands up in defense, but quickly changed his mood again as he stated, “but seriously, guys, what’s your answer?” We both shrugged, causing Jack’s eyes to jump to me. “Alex?”  
  
“I mean, yeah, I guess…” I frowned, very unsure of my answer. “Although, that would mean only being in love based on somebody’s appearance. I guess you can tell you might love someone based on appearance and then talk to them and then find out if you actually do like or love them. But then again, I do like to think it’s real.”  
  
“Okay, okay,” Jack nodded like he was conducting a survey. “Mickey? What about you?”  
  
“I believe in love at second marriage,” she said in a tone that might trick you into believing she was actually being serious.  
  
“Huh?” I questioned, confused where she managed to get an answer so direct yet so strange from.  
  
“Well, according to studies, I should be scarred by my mom and father divorcing,” she shrugged, making clear she didn’t even believe in the first statement, “and my dad also had been married once before… so… but I’m not even sure if I think love is a real thing. And, _no,_ that’s _not_ because of the whole divorce thing.”  
  
“You’re not sure if love exists?!” Jack asked, more shocked that I was.  
  
I always assumed Mickey to be that kind of person based on what I already knew about her. If she didn’t do friends and boyfriends, then she most definitely didn’t do love. Even though she did break the first two rules she had, something told me the whole ‘love’ thing was a little harder to break through… if that was even possible.  
  
“I mean, why would I? You don’t know you’ve reached true happiness until you no longer feel it,” she started to explain without trouble for the second time that day. “You don’t know true pain until you really do hurt. So, why would I know what love feels like if I’ve never experienced it?” Before we could ask her to explain any further, she stood up and went out of the room. “Anyway, I’ll be right back.”  
  
“The fuck?” Jack whisper-shouted at me.  
  
“What?” I asked back.  
  
“She doesn’t believe in love! You, Alex Gaskarth, a hopelessly romantic manwhore is dating somebody who doesn’t believe in love!” He exclaimed as if it was something that was impossible. “First of all, how did you manage to sleep with her without tricking her into thinking you’d fall in love and live happily ever after? And second of all, how are you dating if you know this relationship will never progress?!”  
  
“She didn’t say she didn’t believe in it. She said she doesn’t know unless she feels it herself.”  
  
“Alex, you sound like one of those girls you used to sleep with.” Jack rolled his eyes and started imitating the voice of one of those girls. _“‘I know he always sleeps around, but I will be the one to change him!’”  
_  
“It’s not like that. Why even bring it up now?”  
  
“You seemed quite lovey-dovey at the end of the trip, there. You might think we don’t notice, but we do. There’s a difference between the ‘let-me-take-you-out-for-a-milkshake’ Alex and the ‘I’m-comforting-you-after-you’ve-been-stabbed-and-want-you-to-put-all-your-trust-in-me’ Alex.”  
  
“Look,” I sighed, not wanting to deny the truth but also not believing he used the best example, “I know what to expect from Mickey. I won’t do anything stupid.”  
  
“It hasn’t stopped you before,” he pushed. “I’m not saying you should end it with her. I’m just warning. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart.”  
  
“I won’t end up with a broken heart!”  
  
As if on cue, Mickey walked back in, luckily not having heard any of my conversation with Jack. I didn’t need Jack to tell me what Mickey could be like. After all, I was her boyfriend. I knew her better than Jack. If anything, I knew even better how much I could end up getting hurt. But I also knew just how much potential she had.  
  
She sat back on the bed, holding her shirt up just a sliver and holding a tissue to where she had been stabbed.  
  
“You’re bleeding?” My eyes went wide at the sight, immediately worried.  
  
“Yeah, accidentally scratched it while going to the bathroom. It happens all the time, no biggie,” she disregarded and looked between me and Jack. “So, _what did I miss?"_


	53. Chapter Fifty-Three: Catching the Bad Guy

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
I absolutely hated Geography. I just couldn’t stand it. What used to be a class I felt nothing towards had turned into the one class I dreaded. Most of the time I’d skip it, but I knew I had to attend the occasional class so that I could graduate. But instead of focusing on what was being taught and written on the board, my teacher’s looks kept distracting me. He made me sit at the front of the class so he could ‘keep an eye on me’, but I knew it wasn’t for disciplinary reasons. All he wanted was to ogle at me during class.  
  
As soon as the bell went, I always was the first to rush out as soon as the bell went, especially on the day when we ended with Geography. Usually, I managed to leave before he even noticed. But he must have figured out my tricks, because just as I was sneaking out, he called my name.  
  
“Mickey,” he said sternly with his arms crossed as other students started passing me to leave, “please stay back, we need to talk.”  
  
I stayed put, wondering if I could just make a run for it, but at the same time I knew this was my chance to set him in his place. So, when Rian was also just going to pass me, I grabbed him by his elbow and whispered, “run to Alex and tell him I’m being held back by our geography teacher again.”  
  
“Okay, I will if I see him.” He pulled his arm out of my grasp, giving me a judgmental look.  
  
But I just took hold of his arm again. “No, I mean now. Right now. It can’t wait.”  
  
“God, you’re weird.”  
  
He left the classroom without giving me any confirmation that he was going to do as I asked, so I knew I couldn’t trust him especially since he seemed a little off. I walked back further into the classroom and put my bag down on one of the tables before pulling out my new flip phone (I finally managed to afford one. It wasn’t anything fancy like the phones Alex and Jack had, but I could text and call just fine). As the last student left the classroom, I tried to find my contacts again so I could call him.  
  
“So, Mickey,” Mr. Archer moved away from the door he had closed after the last person left. He was back at his desk, leaning against it. “We really need to talk about those grades.”  
  
I swallowed with a nod, finally managing to find my contacts list, Alex’s name at the very top. “I just need to call my ride to say I’m going to be a bit late.”  
  
Alex wasn’t my ride. My truck was still broken and it was getting too cold to stand outside for long trying to figure out what was wrong. I was actually supposed to go home with Jack so we could go to work--Rian wasn’t working that day. It might have been best to actually call my ride to say I was going to be late, but Alex and I had made a deal.  
  
“Hey, Mickey! What’s up?” Alex chirped, telling me that Rian either hadn’t gotten to him yet or had just ignored my request.  
  
“I’m just calling to say I’m going to be a few minutes late, so don’t drive away without me. I won’t have a way to get home,” I lied to him, keeping my back to Mr. Archer while simultaneously keeping my eye on him.  
  
“I was supposed to take you home? Shit! I didn’t know. I was gonna go hang out with Zack.”  
  
I completely disregarded what he said and hoped he would understand what I said. “Oh, you know, just got held back in Geography again. It won’t take long, I promise.”  
  
“Geography!” Alex exclaimed, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “Fuck. Remember what we talked about, okay? Stall for a little bit, I’m out by my car, I need to run back into school. Don’t hang up.”  
  
“Okay, yeah, bye.” I pressed a button on my phone that made it look like I hung up, but didn’t really.  
  
The next part was trying to hold my phone in a way that it didn’t seem like it was still being used. It was the problem with a flip phone. You flipped it closed after using it, but I couldn’t do that because Alex was still on the other side. So, I had to be creative. I held it by the hinge and acted like I was just playing with it, careful not to close it too far in case the phone registered it as being closed.  
  
“He’s going to wait,” I announced as I turned back to my teacher and sat on my table, “but he has to leave soon, so this has to be quick.”  
  
“I can’t promise that,” Mr. Archer smirked, moving away from his desk and moved to the table next to the one I was standing at and sat down on that one instead. On one hand, it made me shiver that he was so close, but on the other I knew that his voice would be heard way easier through the phone.  
  
“You wanted to talk about my grades, so let’s talk about my grades.”  
  
“Right.” He nodded and stared at me. “I tried to make a deal with you before--”  
  
“Which I declined and still will,” I stated, doing my best to keep my calm. I couldn’t risk him looking like the victim.  
  
“But Mickey,” he chuckled and reached out to touch my arm, which I quickly moved out of reach, “I can’t do anything if we don’t make a deal.”  
  
“You can just give me the grades I deserve and not blackmail me,” I suggested and forced myself to put on a smile.  
  
“You think you deserve those grades?” He raised a single eyebrow and licked his lips. “I believe I’m the one who decides when you _deserve_ those grades.”  
  
“Okay, then maybe we can come up with a solution that doesn’t require me to have sex with you, cause quite frankly, I don’t want to do that.”  
  
“Mickey, Mickey…” he sighed and put a hand on the table on either side of me, leaning forward and coming way too close. “I know your reputation. You always act like you don’t want somebody, but you still end up going to bed with them.”  
  
“Who told you that?” I snorted and pushed him away with a single finger. “Some kid who's obsessed with me and doesn’t want to believe I really won’t sleep with them? Or are you that kid?”  
  
“Come on, we both know high school boys aren’t shit. You deserve better.” He put his hands on my legs, slowly rubbing them further up and inwards.  
  
“Don’t touch me.” I snapped, but still didn’t show my rage, slapping his hands away. “And what makes you think you’re any better?”  
  
“Want me to prove it to you?” he murmured and breathed against my left ear as he leaned in again.  
  
“Nope, I’m good.” I jumped off the table and grabbed my bag, still very careful not to break my phone, and started moving towards the door so I could leave.  
  
But I didn’t get the chance to leave. He grabbed my arm and forced me to turn around. “Mickey, you don’t seem to understand. You need to pass. You get to have an A while also feeling good. What else could you want?’  
  
“You to not just grab me like that,” I retorted and pulled my arm away before storming for the door. I didn’t care about the plan Alex and I had anymore, I wanted to get out of there. However, when I turned the doorknob, the door wouldn’t budge. “Give me the key or unlock this yourself.”  
  
“No can do.” He shook his head as he started closing in on me.  
  
“You can’t just lock me in here!”  
  
“And I can’t let you leave until we’ve come up with an agreement.”  
  
“We came up with an agreement,” I disagreed, shuffling further into the corner to keep space between us. I wanted nothing more than to punch him right in that smug face of his. But if Alex’s plan was going to work, doing that would only get me into trouble. “I refuse to have sex with you and you give me the grades I should be getting.”  
  
He laughed deeply and shook his head. Before I knew it, his hand was on my waist and I had nowhere to go. My back had already hit the wall and he was blocking the only other way for me to go. The only way to get out was to get physical. I just hoped Alex’s next step was going to happen soon, or I literally had to fight my way out. The only thing I was afraid of was that I’d underestimate the time it would take and get Mr. Archer off me, only to get into deep shit myself.  
  
“So, you think that forcing yourself onto me is a better way to get my grades up?” I wondered, hoping that if Alex hadn’t done anything yet, he would at least hear that he really had to do so now.  
  
“I think you secretly want it,” he shrugged back and continued to get even closer.  
  
“I really don’t,” I made clear and gave him a short sarcastic smile.  
  
He didn’t care, though. Instead, he started to kiss my neck. I tried to cringe away by cocking my head in the direction he was in so he couldn’t reach anymore. Still, he didn’t change his mind, if anything it made him want to go further. His hands went to the bottom of my shirt and he tried to slip them underneath. I, however, kept swatting them away.  
  
Before he managed to actually get what he wanted, the door hit the wall with a loud bang.  
  
“BPD, get off the girl!” A cop shouted, making it way too dramatic.  
  
It was like Mr. Archer jumped off me in less than a second as if hoping that they hadn’t seen anything. Little did he know about the phone call that had been happening the entire time. He was screwed either way.  
  
After he had been put in handcuffs, Alex came up to me in worry.  
  
“Are you okay?” he questioned in a very fast pace. “Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?”  
  
“Nah, I’m cool,” I straightened my clothes and picked up my bag which had fallen to the floor in the process without my knowledge. “I’ve been through worse.”  
  
“Are you sure? I can only imagine how traumatizing that must be…”  
  
I shrugged and whispered so only he could hear and not the cops. “I could have pushed him off at any time, but that wasn’t part of the plan. Speaking of which, I thought you were going to let Principal Adkins listen to the phone call, not the cops.”  
  
“I did,” Alex promised while Mr. Archer was being led out by one cop, the other one staying behind. “He’s the one that called them and is the one who provided the key so the door didn’t have to be opened by force.”  
  
“Where is he now?” I asked, noticing that he was nowhere around and I hadn’t seen him when the police entered either.  
  
“I don’t know. Talking so some officer, I believe. I don’t think he wants this turning into a scandal.”  
  
“He should have thought of that before he told me he couldn’t do anything.” I rolled my eyes. “He could have easily fired him without much of a hassle, now the cops are involved.”  
  
“He’s the one that suggested it in the first place.” Alex shrugged as the second police officer made his way over to us.  
  
He opened a small notepad and gave us a nod before asking me, “do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?”  
  
I told him everything I could. I wanted nothing more than for Mr. Archer to disappear forever. Somebody like him didn’t deserve to teach. A criminal record like this would make sure of that. I didn’t care if it meant the school was one teacher short. There was no way I would have ever given in to him.  
  
While I managed to get out of work for the day and Jack didn’t get too mad for me ‘forgetting’ about him, my parents freaked out. First, they freaked out about what happened, thinking about suing the school. When I told them I was okay and he hadn’t been able to do anything, they were a little calmer. But then when I mentioned I had been through worse, they freaked out again. They weren’t mad, but they feared for me.  
  
I was okay, though.


	54. Chapter Fifty-Four: An Illegal Birthday

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
“Why won’t you just let me get another drink!” Jack whined, slouching over the table we had claimed earlier that evening.  
  
“Because Mickey and Rian aren’t here yet,” I told him for the hundredth time. “You’ll be drunk before they even arrive. You know I’m down to get a little wasted, but it’s only nine.”  
  
“It’s not my fault they’re fucking late!” he groaned, eyeing the bar in desperation. “Maybe they’re having pre-drinks! Why can’t we do the same?! Huh?!”  
  
“It’s Rian, he’d refuse.”  
  
I really didn’t mind having a few drinks, getting into some trouble, having a lot of fun. That was the whole reason we were back at The Depot. It was the place to unwind and get a taste of the carefree vibe of alcohol coursing through your bloodstream. I was here with yet the same goal, get drunk and hook up with a hot girl; the hot girl being my girlfriend this time, of course. But how was I going to achieve that without said girl being here? I couldn’t just get shitfaced with Jack and risk hooking up with the wrong girl. I did not desire to cheat on my own birthday, no matter how great this stranger’s body was.  
  
“Please!” Jack begged yet again, pulling on my arm.  
  
I ignored him and looked past Zack who was coming back with his own drink. Jack pouted even more now that somebody else had a drink and I was still telling him he couldn’t have one. But, you see, Jack had already downed two beers in the short time we were here while this was only the first drink Zack had gotten. I was still working on my first beer, waiting for Mickey to arrive.  
  
Lucky for Jack, it didn’t take much longer until she and Rian finally entered the bar. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. While she usually liked her dark jeans and her leather jackets, she had gone in a completely different direction this time. It was like she knew exactly what I usually went after in this bar and was trying to give me the experience I always much enjoyed. She was wearing a super short red plaid skirt along with a tight white tank top that showed off a strip of her stomach. Just from that alone, I could tell it was going to be a fun night. Exactly what I wanted for my birthday.  
  
“Happy birthday, dude,” Rian greeted, sliding onto the couch Jack quickly ran off of when he noticed they had finally arrived.  
  
“Happy birthday,” Mickey smirked and kissed me before climbing over me to sit in the booth, the view making the lower half of my body tingle. “Rian’s been pissy the entire evening, it’s why we’re late.”  
  
“I’m not pissy!” Rian argued, proving Mickey’s point. “And I wasn’t the reason we were late.”  
  
“Yes, you were,” Mickey retorted and sneaked her arms around my waist, looking up at me. “He said what I was wearing wasn’t a good outfit for a club. I think it’s the perfect outfit!”  
  
I was about to agree, wanting to pull her close and take her right there on the table, when Rian had to counter yet again. “You’re the one that keeps freaking out when guys look at you or touch you, I was just trying to help you out.”  
  
“It’s not my fault. They should learn not to touch something that isn’t theirs.”  
  
 _"Mine,"_ I whispered and gave into the temptation, planting my lips against hers.  
  
Just like always, I already knew exactly which girl I wanted to hook up with, and I immediately started putting my moves on her. This time I didn’t even need the alcohol to make me take the steps. All I needed was Mickey and the bare minimum she was wearing. I loved it.  
  
“Ugh, are they always like this?” I heard Zack question with disgust, probably scrunching up his nose.  
  
“Whenever there’s a party or booze involved, pretty much,” Rian answered in a similar tone to Zack’s.  
  
Although they were obviously judging us, I couldn’t say anything back. Rian was absolutely right. It all started at my Halloween party, and it was how it went down every single time. We’d have some drinks, get a little drunk, and then we’d be a little touchy-feely with each other. It was just the kind of people we were.  
  
“Let me get you a drink,” I whispered to Mickey before pulling away from her.  
  
“It’s your birthday, though,” she pointed out before I could get away completely.  
  
“So, what?” I winked.  
  
Ever since she and Rian had arrived, the place had gotten a little busier. I now had to push my way through the crowd on the dance floor to get to the bar. My main goal was to get to the other side without getting beer spilled on me and without anybody grabbing my junk. It was quite the challenge with the crowd consisting of only drunk kids. Limbs were flying everywhere.  
  
Jack was just leaving the bar when I arrived, but didn’t wait for me until he went back to our table. Instead, I took the last few steps to the bar and was pleasantly surprised to see our usual bartender just starting his shift.  
  
“What’s up, Ray?” I greeted as I always did.  
  
His eyes snapped in my direction and a grin spread across his face, going to serve me first despite other people already waiting longer. “Hey, Alex! How’re you doing? I heard it was your birthday!”  
  
“That it is,” I replied with a smile, ignoring the glares I was getting from other customers while Ray started making my drink without asking what I wanted.  
  
“You scoping out for a girl to take home tonight?” He asked as he pulled out two shot glasses and the bottle of alcohol.  
  
“Not exactly…” I shook my head and watched him pour the liquid. “I have a girlfriend now. Who, speaking of which, I also need a drink for. So if you could make it four shots, that would be great.”  
  
“A girlfriend, huh?” he chuckled deeply and poured two more shots. “She must be good in the sack if she can tie you down.”  
  
“Hey! She is a great person!” I defended although I couldn’t deny that she was indeed great in bed. If we never had that one-night-stand together, none of this would have ever happened.  
  
“Right, right.” He nodded with a laugh.  
  
I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket so I could pay for the drinks straight away. Based on what I usually paid, I now took out the double. However, Ray just pushed the money back to me instead of taking it like he usually did.  
  
“It’s your birthday, this one’s on me,” he said, drumming his hands against the bar.  
  
“Thanks, dude,” I thanked and raised one shot at him before downing it.  
  
And then I had to make my way back to the table. At least I only had to take three shot glasses. Four would have been too much to carry with people dancing wildly around me, let alone multiple larger drinks. Mickey and the guys were all still sitting at the table, none of them having gone on their own conquests just yet.  
  
I put the shots on the table and slid into the booth, making Mickey shuffle in further. “Here you go.”  
  
“Shots?” She laughed, although accepted both small glasses. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Gaskarth?”  
  
“Umm… of course I am?” I snorted and waited to drink my second one.  
  
“You’re going to have to give me a lot more than two shots to do that,” she commented and poured one of the shots down her throat without flinching.  
  
“We’re going to need a _lot_ more than two shots to get you drunk. I think we might need your _‘everything’_ concoction for that.”  
  
“True, true, but they’re super cheap to make at home, not so much at bars.”  
  
“Well, I got these shots for free, so for the money I saved, we can mix four shots together,” I told her and downed my second shot.  
  
She did her last one as well and a smirk appeared on her face. “Wanna bet that I can get more drinks for free?”  
  
“I’ve heard of girls getting the occasional _drink_ for free before, but _drinks?_ ” Zack commented with one eyebrow raised.  
  
“Is that a challenge?”  
  
“I think we all want to see it happening!” Jack answered despite not being the challenger.  
  
“Oh, it will happen,” Mickey exaggerated and climbed over me while we all cheered her on.  
  
Her outfit already did things to me, but now getting to see the super short skirt at eye level again was a whole new thing. If I hadn’t been sold before, I definitely was now. It was only going to be a matter of time until either of us dragged the other into the bathroom or we went back to one of our places. I didn’t even care if it meant leaving my own friends behind on my own birthday.  
  
I watched her with lust, my eyes flickering up and down her body. She was the only birthday gift I needed. And I got to watch her from a distance without being classified as a creep. I watched as she reached the bar after squeezing through the crowd like I had done before. What I didn’t think about, however, was that this probably included flirting and that Ray was the bartender. Lucky for me, it was getting so busy that another bartender started helping out.  
  
Mickey leaned against the bar and started talking to the other bartender. What I thought would be amazing to see was actually making me uncomfortable. She was leaning further over the bar and laughing obnoxiously. But I had no right to get mad at her. I had been encouraging her to do it. I should have known the method included her flirting with another guy. But, either way, she was going to come home with me.  
  
Still, when she came back over with a tray with multiple drinks, not just one or two--enough for us all to have at least two--I wondered how far she had gone. She didn’t exactly know how far she could go until she crossed a line. It wasn’t that she crossed a line with me (I didn’t know what she had said or done), but I was afraid one of us was going to get into deep shit with that bartender.  
  
“I hope there’s something you guys like,” she grinned when she finally came back to the table and put the tray with drinks down.  
  
“How the fuck did you do this?” Zack asked, looking at the glasses and beer bottles in amazement.  
  
“It’s called having boobs,” she commented and pulled up her shirt a little so it wasn’t as low cut anymore.  
  
I now understood why Rian had told her before that it wasn’t the best outfit for a club. It wasn’t that I was slightly annoyed about what happened, but I knew others were going to try to get with her. I trusted her as long as she didn’t get drunk, but I didn’t trust other people. If a bartender gave away a shitload of alcohol for free, what else were guys going to do?  
  
She nudged me, gesturing for me to move up so she could sit, just like I had done when I arrived with drinks.  
  
“But I like having you climb over me,” I pouted and looked up at her.  
  
She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue against it. So, I got to enjoy the view once more. That skirt barely covered anything, and if it was just for me, I couldn’t help but be so happy.  
  
“Okay, who wants what?” Mickey asked, gesturing largely to the tray to so we could just take something.  
  
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on.” I stopped everybody from reaching out for anything. “We need to mix everything together for that drink of yours.”  
  
“Mix _everything?_ Boy, that will taste terrible,” Mickey shook her head disapprovingly and reached out for a glass filled with beer. “Only a couple of things, and we need a glass to mix it in.”  
  
Everybody watched her in confusion and in wonder as she started chugging the beer, pulling it away once to check how much was still inside. After seeing the level, she took a few more gulps until she was satisfied with the amount left.  
  
“How charming,” Rian commented when she was done downing that beer like it was nothing.  
  
“Oh, deal with it,” she snarled back.  
  
She then started picking and choosing from the drinks to add to the glass of beer. The shots went in fully, while cocktails and other larger drinks were only allowed to fill it a little. It was all about keeping the proportions right. When she finished pouring everything in, she pulled out a stick from one of the cocktails and mixed together the concoction into a weird color.  
  
“Okay, try.” She pushed the glass towards my direction and everybody stared at me expectantly.  
  
I decided not to give a fuck and picked up the drink, taking a big gulp without even trying a small sip before. Mixing alcohol had to be done in specific ways to taste good, Mickey’s way was more along the lines of throwing together anything that seemed right. You could definitely taste it.  
  
“Oh, yes,” I nodded and put down the glass, giving it back to her, “tastes just like the horrible mixture I’m used to.”  
  
Mickey drank some as well, and corrected me, “but a better version. It’s all yours, though, you’re the one that asked for it.”  
  
“No, we should all drink it!” I argued, feeling like my stomach would hate me for drinking an entire glass of that stuff. It wasn’t that I couldn't take the alcohol, I culd do that just fine, it just stung. I could feel it trying to burn my stomach.  
  
And so, the glass started to be passed around. Zack was the only one who had never even tried it, so he was a little too enthusiastic about drinking some of it. He nearly choked and started coughing, quickly forcing the glass in Rian’s direction.  
  
“The fuck do you guys drink?!” He spoke with a raspy voice, rushing to grab a beer bottle and drank that to wash away the taste.  
  
“I’m immune to it all now,” Mickey smirked with satisfaction, leaning into her seat.  
  
Rian probably drank the most minuscule amount. We had already forced him to have some before, and he absolutely hated it. But he knew he’d get a lot of shit from Mickey if he didn’t at least act like he drank some. I could tell that Mickey noticed what he was doing, but she stayed quiet. However, when the glass arrived at Jack, she had something to say again.  
  
Jack was staring out in the distance. Mickey frowned and followed his gaze to something that was behind us. As much as I wanted to know what he was staring at, I didn’t feel like turning around and taking a look was the right thing to do with two other people already looking in that direction.  
  
Mickey sighed in frustration and slapped Jack’s arm. “What did I tell you before? Stop being such a fucking creep!”  
  
“It’s not that easy!” Jack defended, making us all wonder what they were talking about.  
  
“Oh my god--” Mickey groaned again before getting up and climbing over me again before apologizing to me, “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Hey, I do not mind,” I laughed, getting another good look.  
  
She then pulled Jack up from his seat and started dragging him into the direction they were looking before. This time, however, I did allow myself to look at whatever they were talking about. They walked up to two girls and Mickey started chatting yet again, trying to bring Jack into the conversation. After multiple failed attempts, she elbowed him and got him to start talking as well. Every single time I turned around to check up on them, I saw Jack more and more invested in a conversation with this one girl while Mickey was keeping the other busy. She was the perfect wingman.  
  
Eventually, Mickey returned to the table, but with the other girl coming along with her.  
  
“Hey, guys. This is Alysha,” Mickey introduced before climbing over me yet again to sit down in her original spot, not even bothering to ask me to scootch in.  
  
Alysha sat next to Zack, who had switched places with Rian just minutes before. Something told me that Mickey promised that she could hook her up with one of us, because she was giving me the major ‘fuck me’ gaze. While I used to be all in, I couldn’t be more than out this time. When Alysha’s foot started trailing up my leg before we had even started a conversation, I knew I had to do something to reject her without calling her out.  
  
The _‘everything’_ mixture was still in its glass on the table, so I grabbed it and gave it to Mickey. “We all decided you have to finish this.”  
  
“But you all drank from this glass,” she sighed in annoyance, “I’ll get cooties.”  
  
And that’s when I saw my opportunity. I quickly planted my lips against hers to start a kiss. It seemed like I was just trying to prove that she already had ‘cooties’, but at the same time, it was making the stranger’s foot drop from my leg before she got up too high. It was a win-win situation for me. I also got to have a hot makeout session with Mickey now.  
  
For the others, however, it wasn’t exactly a win situation.  
  
“Oh my god, can’t you guys just stop for once?” Rian groaned.  
  
“I’m not staying here to witness them going to second--maybe even third--base,” Zack shook his head and started pushing Alysha out of the booth. “We’re going to the dance floor.”  
  
Who knew that it would start a relationship between Zack and Alysha?  
  
And me? Well, I brought Mickey back to my place and we had quite some fun.


	55. Chapter Fifty-Five: A Merry Loud Christmas

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
“Ooh, wait, I got you something,” Alex announced and pulled his arm out from underneath me before sitting up on the bed. He reached down and stood up to shrug his boxers on. With the fabric now covering his lower half, he jogged up to his backpack which was at the foot of my closet, rested against it sloppily.  
  
“But it’s _Christmas,_ ” I groaned, complaining, and tried to reach out to pull him back, but he was already way too far away.  
  
“Exactly, that’s why I got you a gift!” he laughed and harshly pulled open his bag to start looking for whatever he was talking about.  
  
“Fine,” I sighed and sat up myself. Since it didn’t seem like we were going to be going back to what we were doing before any time soon, I put on my panties and grabbed the shirt Alex was wearing before and threw it on as well.  
  
“Hey, hang on! Just cause I’m giving you a gift doesn’t mean you have to put on clothes!” He tried to stop me after he had turned back around with a wrapped box in his hands. I, however, was already sitting back on the bed with my legs crossed.  
  
“You’re the one that started it, it’s only fair,” I retorted and pulled my hair out of its bun only to replace it with a ponytail.  
  
“Okay, okay, true,” he gave in and joined me on the bed, sitting in a similar fashion directly across from me, and held out the box to me. “Merry Christmas.”  
  
I smiled back and carefully took the box from him. I was unsure exactly how to react but also didn’t want to seem ungrateful. In my nineteen years of life--almost twenty--I had never exchanged gifts on Christmas with anybody other than my extended family. And even then, most of the time, my family opted for the ‘we-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-you-want-so-here’s-ten-bucks’ gift. Of course, it was better than Christmas at Michael’s. Back then Christmas was just another day full of empty promises. I didn’t get the experience of running down to a tree with gifts underneath it as a kid. I was lucky if I came downstairs and found two dollars next to the ashtray.  
  
However, this was the first Christmas I wasn’t going to be spending with my parents since my mom got full custody of me again. Usually, we’d go back to Texas to spend it with our extended family. So, I’d have to endure my aunts and uncles with their ‘festive spirit’ for an entire week. This time was the first time I got the option to stay at home. So, I did. Alex was in a similar situation. His parents flew back to England and he decided to stay back. We spent most of the time together at my house. This evening, however, we were going to part ways. I was going to have dinner with Rian and his family, who generously offered to have me over and join their family Christmas dinner, and Alex was going to spend that time with Jack. So, that was probably why Alex was giving me a gift now. I just wasn’t prepared for it.  
  
Yet, I still cautiously picked at the tape so I could carefully peel it away without ripping up the paper completely and making myself look like a savage. After I had completely removed the festive red and green paper, I was left with a black box. Alex was watching me in anticipation as I slowly opened it to find a necklace nestled in some black cushiony material. There were two small circular gold charms on a chain, one pressed with an ‘A’ in it and the other with an ‘M’.  
  
“Oh,” I said as I took a closer look, unsure what to expect.  
  
“You don’t like it…” Alex breathed out in defeat.  
  
“No, no, I do,” I quickly told him, taking hold of his hand, “I just never wear jewelry.”  
  
“Fuck, how didn’t I realize that?” He groaned and rubbed his face with the hand I wasn’t holding. “And here I was thinking I was giving you something lame cause it seems like the easy way out.”  
  
“I’ve never really been given a gift before either…” I mumbled, still looking at the necklace. I slowly dropped his hand and pulled out the thin chain instead, scared to break it. “Well, my parents usually give me something physical because they don’t trust me with the money, but everybody else…”  
  
“Would you rather have me return this and give you money?” Alex joked awkwardly to try and lighten what for him seemed like a bad situation.  
  
I shook my head and put the necklace on, struggling a bit with the lock, but managing to do it before having to ask Alex for help. “I guess I’ll just have to get used to wearing this. It’s nice.”  
  
“Are you sure you like it?”  
  
“Yes.” I gave him one single nod, feeling the two charms between my fingers, before remembering something. “Hold on a sec, I have something for you too!”  
  
“Wait, you have something for me?” He frowned, now being the one who was taken aback.  
  
“Well, yeah, _sorta_ ,” I corrected and scrambled towards my desk, looking for what I had for him. “You know I’m completely broke because I am getting my car fixed and still have to pay my parents back for the money they lent me for it, so it isn’t something as nice as this necklace. I actually had it for your birthday, but we never got around to that, so I hope you don’t mind me giving you one thing for both.”  
  
“Hey, look, I wasn’t even expecting a gift from you, and based on what you told me our your family, I was correct to think that. The fact that you even thought about it is exceeding my expectations.”  
  
I finally found the two things I wanted to give. It was nothing compared to the beautifully wrapped gift he had given me. There was no wrapping paper involved and the plastic had a few scratches, but I personally would have loved getting the gift I was giving him.  
  
I climbed back on the bed and handed him the CD case and the loose piece of paper on top of it face down so he couldn’t see either immediately. “I know it isn’t much, but I promised to make you a drawing. And I happened to have two copies of this CD, but it’s my favorite one. I don’t know if you’ll like it or if you already have a copy, but I love it.”  
  
Alex first turned over the paper to see the skeleton I drew holding a pumpkin in one hand. A big grin grew on his face. However, a frown appeared on mine as I took a look at it.  
  
“Wait…” I wanted to take it back from him, seeing an imperfection on the skull, but refrained from doing so. “No, no, if I take it back and fix it, I’ll work on it for another few hours.”  
  
“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” he shrugged in return, “I love it. Thank you.”  
  
“You asked for it.”  
  
He admired it for a few more seconds before also taking a look at the very blue cover of the CD. “Weezer… I’ve heard of them, but I don’t really know their songs.”  
  
“Well, they are pretty great,” I told him, not even caring if he was unsure he’d like it. “It actually came out eleven years ago. I might have been nine back then and not known about it at all, but I love it now.”  
  
“That is a long time ago,” Alex agreed and flipped over the CD to check the back and the tracklist. He, however, said it more like it was a negative thing.  
  
“You listen to Blink, their first album came out in the same year, and Green Day’s first was even before that. Don’t judge a CD from its cover.”  
  
“Oh, how cheesy.” He stuck out his tongue at me and gave in. “But I promise I’ll give it a listen at home.”  
  
“Why not give it a listen now?” I smirked and snatched the CD from him before jumping up and skipping to the old CD player I had found in a box a few weeks before and moved to my room.  
  
I opened the case and pressed the button to eject the disk drive before popping the CD out of its weird metal contraption, trying my best not to break it. Although I wasn’t proud of it, I had accidentally broken CDs or DVDs before while trying to remove them from their case. Every single time it broke my heart, especially if it happened to one of my favorite CDs. It would be just my luck to accidentally snap Alex’s gift in half, but that luckily didn’t happen. A few seconds after I pushed the tray back in, the first acoustic guitar notes came from the speakers.  
  
Alex listened while I knew exactly what was coming and was waiting for his reaction. When the electric guitar suddenly kicked in, he seemed surprised and confused. His brows were furrowed just a little, trying to take in the music completely. I took it as a win. Sure, he wasn’t enjoying it as much as me, but he didn’t seem repulsed.  
  
Before we even reached halfway through the second verse, he commented. “I have to warm up to it, but it’s definitely not bad.’  
  
I nodded a put down the case on top of the CD player so we wouldn’t forget it later. “I believe there’s one song on here you probably know.”  
  
“Yeah?” He looked amused, like he wanted to know which one it was.  
  
“I’d let you hear it… but the skip button is broken. You’ll just have to wait six more tracks.”  
  
“Oh, it’s broken now, is it?” He challenged with a smirk. “Or do you just want me to listen to all the songs?”  
  
Before I could answer, he was up on his feet and playfully attacking me, trying to get to the skip button. I blocked him, knowing that if you happened to press hard enough at the right angle it would work, or you just had to keep going back a track before you got to the one you wanted. It turned in him grabbing me between his arms and tickling me. I couldn’t stop the giggles from escaping me as the music continued to play in the background.  
  
But, just like always, our moment was short-lived. The doorbell rang three times and Alex let me go so I could go down to open the door. However, I wasn’t just going to go. It was Christmas Eve, for god’s sake. Who the hell was ringing the doorbell? Nobody in their right mind would do that unless they were coming over for dinner. And nobody was coming over for dinner.  
  
I stomped to my window and opened it--not having to worry about it being locked because if I was going to sneak out, I would use the front door without my parents being home. I could just barely see the top of Rian’s head. “The _fuck_ are you doing here?!”  
  
“I wanted some peace and quiet, but I can hear I won’t get that here!” he shouted back at me, referring to both me screaming at him and the loud music.  
  
“You’re fucking stupid if you think you can get that here,” I insulted as he looked up to glare at me. “I’m coming down.”  
  
I closed the window again and turned around to look at Alex. “Your friends always interrupt.”  
  
“If I’m correct, they’re your friends too,” he responded as he looked around for some more clothes to put on. Since I was already wearing the shirt he had put on that morning, he had nothing else to wear but some jeans.  
  
“Well, shit.” I scrunched up my nose and left my room. “This is why I don’t do friends.”  
  
“That’s a lie,” Alex said as he followed me down the stairs, through the living room, and to the front door. “You don’t do friends cause you’re afraid you’ll get stuck with somebody as awesome as me.”  
  
“Hmm, but you’re not my friend…” I turned around just before we reached the front door. “If I recall correctly, we’ve been doing things this entire week that friends don’t do.”  
  
“Friends with benefits, though,” he pointed out.  
  
“Yeah, but that situation calls for no feelings. I’m assuming we do include those.” Although I literally just had to walk three more steps and reach out my hand to open the door for Rian, I was just stood in place. “...Or do we? Maybe we’re just friends who do have sex with each other and just add kissing and ‘cuddling’? Mind. _Blown.”_  
  
“I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case. I don’t know about you, but this is way different than having casual sex with a few people,” Alex laughed and closed the space between us, starting up the kiss that never was just a few minutes before.  
  
It was stupid to think we wouldn’t be interrupted again, especially with Rian just a few feet away on the other side of a door I promised to open.  
  
He started banging loudly on said door and shouted, “yo, let me inside! It’s freezing out here!”  
  
I pulled away from Alex and turned to do as requested, however Alex kept his arms around my waist as he let me make the movements needed. While I finally opened the door, he put his chin on my shoulder as if trying to look at who it was.  
  
“Ugh, gross,” Rian scoffed and pushed past us without giving any greeting or thanks. “You guys are literally wearing the same outfit. And I don’t mean matching. I mean you’re both wearing one _half_ of _one_ outfit.”  
  
“Hey, if I knew you were coming over, I would have stayed naked and opened the door like that,” I told him jokingly, as if it would be any better.  
  
“I do _not_ want to see that!” Rian looked disgusted, and not in the denying way where you are faking it. No, he really wasn’t attracted to me. But, hey, the feelings were reciprocated.  
  
“I do,” Alex smirked, still glued to me despite us having moved back into the living room, fairly close to the kitchen, and sneaked a kiss onto my neck.  
  
“If I knew your horny ass was going to be here, I would have stayed with my family who’re going insane right now,” Rian complained.  
  
Finally, Alex did separate himself from me and pointed back in the direction of the front door. “My car is literally out on the driveway, it’s been there for the past four days, what were you expecting?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter,” I interrupted. “Rian, now that you’re here, I need your help with something.”  
  
“Do I have to?” He sighed in annoyance.  
  
There was something up with Rian. First of all, he came over voluntarily without warning. Usually, he randomly showed up just to have made a deal with my parents, or he told me before he came over, whether that be on the phone or through our windows. Secondly, he was acting like a whiny bitch for weeks now. He could only complain and find reasons to get mad at people. That was my job, not his.  
  
“Yes,” I nodded and grabbed his arm to pull him to the stairs with me before giving more instructions, “Alex, you stay here. Rian comes with me.”  
  
“Why?!” Alex whined with a long moan as I started disappearing up the stairs with Rian in tow.  
  
“Just stay there,” I shouted back.  
  
I pulled Rian into my room. It was quite a mess. My clothes were all over the floor, mixed with Alex’s. My desk had paper cluttered all over it, it being even worse after I had tried to search for the gift I had gotten for Alex. The sheets on my bed were rolled up into a ball at the end of the bed, one pillow in the middle of the bed and the other hanging over the edge. To top it all off, the music was still blaring from the speakers.  
  
“Oh my god, that is loud!” Rian shouted, covering his ears.  
  
“Ahw, it’s my favorite song,” I pouted as ' _Buddy Holly'_ was coming to an end, yet still paused the CD and immediately ejected it. After it was back in its CD case, I dropped it in Alex’s bag so he wouldn’t forget it later. It would suck ass if it would be left and forgotten in my CD player--I usually listened to the music on my iPod.  
  
“Okay, I don’t know what your family is like,” I told Rian and opened the second door to my closet, the other was already open. “What should I wear?”  
  
“Really, coming me to fashion advice again? Can’t you as a girl just tell what you should wear based on what I’m wearing?” He breathed out heavily and gestured to his outfit consisting of dark jeans, a button up shirt, and a zip-up hoodie. I was unsure if that hoodie was part of what he was wearing inside or if he had put it on to go outside.  
  
“Umm… yeah… I don’t know any of that shit. Usually, I don’t give much of a fuck, but you guys invited me over cause my family isn’t here. I have to put in some effort.”  
  
“You know what, it doesn’t matter. Wear ripped jeans and the sluttiest t-shirt you can find. At least that will take away all the attention from me. My mom’s freaking out about all the food, my brother is telling stories, and it’s causing the rest of my family to ask me what I’m going to do next. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do!”  
  
“Weren’t you guys going to give this band thing a shot? Isn’t that why you’ve been touring a lot?” I wondered, glad Rian had opened up by himself and that I didn’t have to do any of that shit.  
  
Yes, I wanted help choosing clothes, but if that was my sole purpose, then Alex could have come up with us. Something told me this needed to be a private conversation between me and Rian. I was pretty proud that I could actually feel that. Who knew I could actually have conversations with people and actually tell when one was needed?  
  
“But that’s just for fun,” Rian thought out loud and sat on my bed.  
  
“Well, yeah, of course it’s fun.”  
  
“No, I don’t mean that. This whole band thing. It’s for fun. The others are super serious about it. Like, they are set on being in this band. They aren’t even bothered with college applications, especially Alex. It’s the band or nothing for him. But, I can get into some good colleges.”  
  
“Yes, so…?” I knew all this, but I needed to know what was bothering him. Well, I didn’t _need_ to know, but he needed to get it off his chest. If there was one thing I learned from Alex, it was that that shit helped.  
  
“So, do I want to risk it all and have a very high chance of wasting time going nowhere, or do I want to go the safe route and go to college and get a good job?”  
  
“Huh… well, do you like being in the band? Do you like playing drums in a band?” I sat down next to him.  
  
“Well, yes--”  
  
“Do you enjoy playing shows and writing song?”  
  
“Yeah, but--”  
  
“So what difference does a year make? Go for a record deal and give it a shot. If this goes wrong, you can still go to college.”  
  
“A year is a long time,” Rian stressed. “It’s long in a college-sense, but not long in a band-sense. It’s not like we’ll be recognized after one year as a band, but I will have finished first year in college. Even if I could go back after a year, what school would even want me anymore?  
  
“Your grades won’t change after school, that’s set forever,” I told him. “And your age doesn’t matter one bit. I’ll be twenty when we graduate, that won’t mean I can’t go if I wanted to and knew what I wanted to do. Hell, there are seventy-year-olds going to college. But you can’t just start up another band and create such a strong bond with your friends-slash-bandmates. It’s possible, but it won’t be easy. If it all goes wrong, it will make one hell of a college essay.”  
  
“So, you’re saying to just give the band a shot and if things go south, I can always still go to college?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying. If you really like playing in a band, go for it. If your heart says you want to be some scientist or something, then college is the better option.”  
  
“Okay… I still need to think it over a little more. But I can always choose otherwise if the band doesn’t work out. The other way around will be way more difficult.”  
  
“Right, so when they ask you again what you’re going to do, just say exactly that if you feel the need to justify your choice. Alex and Jack got into some huge fights with their parents, but it all worked out. You can do the same,” I advised and got back up. “Now, you do need to help with my clothing situation. I eventually need to return this shirt to Alex.”  
  
“Okay, okay, alright, show me your options.”  
  
Just over an hour later, we were out on the street. Alex was getting in his car to go to Jack’s and Rian and I were crossing the street to go to his house. It was pretty cold outside, although there was no snow anywhere close by. I was quite glad all I had to do was cross the street. Alex’s car was going to take some time to heat up, I did not want to have to wait that long.  
  
Due to the situation being quite strange with Rian there, none of us really said goodbye to each other. It was like we just walked outside and Alex eventually deflected to get to his car.  
  
“Hey, hang on,” Alex eventually called out while Rian and I were in the middle of the road, “we haven’t said goodbye yet.”  
  
“Ugh, come one, it’s cold, I’ll see you again in two days!” I whined and wrapped my arms around myself to keep myself warm.  
  
“We just spent four days together and I’m not going to see you for two more, that needs a proper goodbye!” he argued and jogged up to us. He pecked me on the lips while I started shivering, and he grinned evilly at Rian, “my best bud also needs a kiss.”  
  
“No, I don’t.” Rian shook his head rapidly.  
  
“Yes, you do.” Alex nodded and placed a big sloppy wet kiss on Rian’s cheek.  
  
“Okay, now fuck off,” Rian laughed and pushed Alex back towards his car.


	56. Chapter Fifty-Six: Happy New Year

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
“Okay, okay. Just go and have fun. We’ll be safe.” I ushered my parents towards the front door and opened it for them before pushing them out.  
  
“Have fun!” Mickey shouted from the kitchen, out of sight.  
  
“You know the usual, call us when something goes wrong,” my mom ordered right as I wanted to close the door.  
  
“Of course, I will.” I nodded and finally shut the door.  
  
It was New Year’s Eve and they were letting me throw a party while they had their own party to go to. They had celebrated Christmas in England, but were back here for New Year's I was lucky to have parents that consented to me throwing parties. Quite frankly, their own New Year’s party was going to be a lot different than mine, yet they still allowed me to do it without supervision. The bottles of alcohol were already lined up on the bar in the kitchen, and there already were bowls with snacks filled to the brim, including bags to fill them up again.  
  
But the party wasn’t going to start for another hour, or two if you considered people never showing up on time.  
  
I walked back into the kitchen and saw Mickey taking a look at the assortment of drinks we had while sipping from a red cup.  
  
“Already drinking?” I teased with a smug grin.  
  
She turned around and gave me a look. “Um, yeah. I heard the front door close, so I immediately got something. Who do you think I am?”  
  
“I think you’re you.” I went up to her and kissed her. “And you look very pretty.”  
  
“I didn’t try much more than usual,” she frowned at the compliment. It wasn’t like she was disagreeing with me, she was just unsure where it was coming from.  
  
“Well, you did the… _thing_ … with your hair.” I twirled one of the wavy red locks softly with my forefinger. “I like it curly.”  
  
“It might be nice now, but it’s horrible the way it is naturally.”  
  
“I like it in those old pictures of you as well,” I argued back.  
  
“Fuck off.” She rolled her eyes and pushed me away as the doorbell rang.  
  
While it was my house--or technically my parents’--she went to open for whoever was on the other side. I followed her as she waltzed over to the door with the red solo cup still in her left hand. She swiftly opened the door to reveal Rian waiting for one of us to open it for him. His car was parked out just on the street and he was dressed in a way that said he was here for the party, not just dropping by before coming back later.  
  
“Rian,” I laughed and shook my head at him, “you do realize that the party doesn’t start for another few hours, right? Most people come late, not super early.”  
  
“I know,” he glared at me and entered, “I’m not stupid. Mickey invited me.”  
  
My gaze shifted over to Mickey. “Since when do you invite people over to my house?”  
  
“It’s Rian.” She shrugged, acting like that explanation was enough. And, weirdly enough, it was.  
  
“If you were hoping to sneak in a quicky, I’m sorry, Alex,” Rian mockingly apologized.  
  
“No, that’s for one minute past midnight,” I retorted.  
  
“You’ll first have to find me,” Mickey smirked with a wink before pushing her cup into Rian’s hands. “Here, drink this.”  
  
Rian brought the cup to his lips without questioning her, which was very unlike him, usually he was very skeptical about anything Mickey did. He must have trusted her. But that trust was quickly broken. His face scrunched up in disgust and he coughed loudly.  
  
“The fuck is in this shit?!” he exclaimed, pursing his lips as he tried to get rid of the taste.  
  
“Everything,” Mickey shrugged and strolled back over to the assortment of drinks.  
  
“ _Everything_? Why the fuck would you mix _everything_ together?!”  
  
“It just does the job,” I answered with a smirk and winked at Mickey.  
  
“God, well first of all, you guys are weird,” Rian scoffed with a shake of his head and quickly put his cup on the kitchen table, “and second of all, I’m not drinking that shit.”  
  
That got Mickey to spin around towards his direction in no time. She gave him a scolding look, picked up the cup and forced it back into his hands. If only it hadn’t involved alcohol, and it would have seemed very motherly of her. This, however, was the opposite of responsible.  
  
“Nope, we had a deal.” Mickey crossed her arms and gave Rian a stern look. “Drink up.”  
  
“A deal, huh?” I butted in, both amused and wondering what the deal was.  
  
“Yeah,” was all that Mickey said with a single nod before patting Rian on the cheek. “You’ve gotta loosen up a little.”  
  
“Fine,” he grumbled and hesitantly took another small sip of the concoction.  
  
Mickey and I started seriously pre-gaming while Rian nursed his drink for way too long. Although I was used to it by now after my first taste during Halloween, I also absolutely couldn’t stand the wretched taste. I would down it in one go, knowing it was worse to take it slowly. It was made perfectly for its purpose. You chugged it, and it didn’t take long to hit you. Why Rian needed to do so, I did not know.  
  
Slowly but surely, the house started filling with people from school. The music was turned up and drinks were poured constantly. The upper floor was practically off limits. I didn’t want to ruin the party, but I couldn’t fuck up a promise made to my parents. The basement, however, was free for all. Although nobody was really paying attention to it, the TV was on so when it was time for the countdown, we could at least see and not miss it.  
  
At one point, I found myself downstairs in the basement playing beer pong. It wasn’t my favorite, but any drinking game was good in my book. It made the sheer joy of drinking even more fun. What made it even better was Mickey being my partner. Because of her, our opponents were being completely destroyed. It was rare for her to miss--although that did happen as well, but the question was if that was on purpose or not. Whenever she got one in, she still got excited and threw her hands up in the air, sometimes kissing me.  
  
“Your turn,” she smiled and handed me the ball after the opposing team had missed yet again.  
  
I picked it up from the palm of her hand and aimed at the single cup still left standing on the other side. Of course, I horribly missed and the ping-pong ball bounced off the table and into the crowd of people.  
  
“I’ll get it!” Mickey announced and drunkenly ran in the direction where it had disappeared to.  
  
We others just shrugged and continued playing with a spare ball. The other guy missed, then I missed, and then it was their turn again. Mickey wasn’t back yet, but they managed to throw it into one of the cups. I groaned in defeat but didn’t complain all too much as I started chugging the beer. But before I could get halfway, somebody knocked into me, causing me to spill everything down my shirt.  
  
I swore loudly and threw my empty cup on the floor. I was completely drenched, but couldn’t leave the game. Lucky for me, they didn’t manage to get another cup. I quickly tossed the ball back to their side and managed to get it in their last cup, finally finishing the game officially. While it was always thrilling to watch somebody chug, I left without taking a glimpse.  
  
Having beer spilled on you sucked, having half a cup poured on you was even worse. It could ruin the rest of the party. I was not going to keep walking around with a beer-soaked shirt if there was an entire closet of clean clothes upstairs in my bedroom.  
  
I completely forgot about Mickey having gone off into her own direction and the fact I would no longer being there if she returned. Instead, I pushed through the crowd to get to the stairs so I could go upstairs. There were more people upstairs drinking, socializing, singing, and dancing. The TV was on, a few minutes displayed on the countdown. But I had one goal. And that goal was to change.  
  
So, I continued walking and went up the stairs. While I did say nobody was allowed to go upstairs, I expected people to have disrespected that. However, not a single soul was up there other than a drunk Zack who emerged from the bathroom.  
  
“Dude!” He exclaimed and came up to me. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”  
  
“I got beer thrown all over me,” I complained in return.  
  
“Well, that’s not a good way to start the new year.”  
  
“I still have a couple of minutes,” I pointed out.  
  
“Then go fix it,” he urged and gave me a pat on the back, pushing me in the direction of my bedroom, before stumbling over to the stairs himself to go back to the party.  
  
I went into my room and opened my closet, staring at my clothes for a while until I decided to just go for the t-shirt that was on the very top. As I pulled off my beer shirt, I groaned out ‘fuck’ loudly as the wet fabric his my face. It smelled absolutely horrible. It was the worst thing ever. I couldn’t throw that shirt onto the floor any quicker. My chest was still damp, but I pulled on the clean shirt so I wouldn’t have to miss any more of the party.  
  
“Why are you in here making sounds like you’re having sex?” Mickey asked as she pushed open the door, somebody being dragged in behind her.  
  
“I sound disgusted when having sex?” I frowned, wondering why she was even bringing this up with another girl in the room with us.  
  
“You were swearing under your breath and groaning a lot,” she shrugged and pulled in her friend before closing the door behind them. I was utterly confused, not able to identify this stranger with how much I had had to drink.  
  
“I got beer spilled on me, it was worth swearing about,” I replied, pointing at the soiled shirt before noticing her own white tank-top had a brown stain on it as well. She wasn’t drenched, but it was quite noticeable. “Seems like you’re here for the same thing.”  
  
“I saved Olivia from some guy hitting on her without her wanting him to,” Mickey replied easily, taking off her shirt without thinking twice. “He got way mad and splashed me with his rum and coke.” She then pushed me away from my closet and grabbed one of my shirts instead of one of her own from her bag. “Unlike you, I didn’t spill it all over myself.”  
  
“Somebody bumped into me!” I argued to defend myself, trying to remember where I knew the name ‘Olivia’ from.  
  
“Sure.” She nodded and put on my shirt, which was oversized on her. “Anyway, Olivia’s here! _Woo!_ O-LIV-I-A! _”_  
  
I blinked a couple of times, trying to get my vision to focus as I stared at this Olivia girl. When I finally saw her face properly for a split second, I knew exactly who it was. “Oh! Old-childhood-friend Olivia!”  
  
“You’re so drunk,” Mickey chuckled and leaned into me, practically hanging off of me. “You couldn’t recognize her. And I’m so druuuunk. All’s good.”  
  
“You guys are a mess,” Olivia’s high voice commented as she laughed at us.  
  
“Our shirts are a mess,” Mickey corrected her and stood up using her own strength again.  
  
She scrambled towards her bag and dug through it. After pushing away all her clothes, she pulled out that diary of hers. I had no clue she had that thing with her and didn’t even know why she would have. Earlier, it seemed like she was surprised to see Olivia.  
  
“Here you go.” Mickey gave it to her after she had some trouble standing back up. “I’ve added some stuff to it and was going to give it later, but you’re here now!”  
  
“I’ll try to keep it safe.” Olivia accepted it, quite obviously not as drunk as we were.  
  
“Good.”  
  
Just a second later, the noise coming downstairs from the party changed completely. It wasn’t just a jumble of conversations anymore. Everybody started counting down the seconds to midnight. Although we were missing it and even running downstairs wouldn’t give us enough time, I at least was glad that I was around Mickey. If everything had happened just a few minutes later, I would not have found her.  
  
“Here’s to another shitty year!” Mickey yelled out in triumph right after everybody shouted ‘Happy New Year’ to each other.  
  
She kissed me deeply before turning around and planting a kiss on Olivia’s lips as well. Without another peep, she walked out of the room. Olivia and I shared a confused look. First of all, Mickey kissed her out of the blue. Second of all, what was with the attitude? I, personally, thought this year hadn’t been too bad for her. You know, with--although it sounds selfish--me coming into her life, and Rian, and Jack, and Zack just a little.  
  
“You do realize your girlfriend just kissed me, right?” Olivia asked, also confused about why I was just standing there.  
  
“Yeah,” I shrugged, “she sometimes does that. It doesn’t mean much, though.”  
  
“I get that. But she just walked off. Is there anything stopping her from doing it to other people downstairs?”  
  
I stood there frozen for a while, thinking over what she just said with my cloudy mind. “Oh, fuck.”  
  
I quickly ran out of the room and shouted out Mickey’s name as I bolted down the stairs.


	57. Chapter Fifty-Seven: The Best Wing-woman

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
“Oh my god, this is going to be so much fun!” The girl next to me driving the car squealed as she slowly applied the brakes before we came to a complete halt.  
  
“I’m sure it will be,” I breathed out with a soft chortle and undid my seatbelt.  
  
“You’ve got to be the ultimate wingwoman,” Olivia grinned excitedly and took her keys out of the ignition. “Trust me, this guy is worth it.”  
  
“Okay, I will be, calm down,” I chuckled and got out of the car.  
  
She was next to me, the car’s lights flashing to signal it was locked, in no time. “Don’t be tempted by him. I’ve been trying to get with him for ages.”  
  
“Don’t worry. I have a boyfriend, remember?” I told her, hoping to calm her nerves. And who would I be to go after a guy a friend was going after?  
  
“Right, right. It’s just going to be so much fun!” She ran off towards the front door, eager to get into the house with loud music.  
  
To be honest, I really didn’t care for frat parties--or at least that was the description this party could fall under. It wasn’t very busy or crazy or anything, but it was at the house her brother (a.k.a. My very first ‘boyfriend’) stayed at now that he was studying at university. The only reason I came was because Olivia asked me to come along. These kinds of parties were never my favorite, but I did it for her. I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to reconnect with her.  
  
Although the music was quite loud, the room wasn’t packed full with sweaty human bodies. Either this party hadn’t reached it peak yet, was past is peak, or it just wasn’t the kind of party that everybody was invited to. Given when we arrived, however, I assumed the real thing was only going to go down in a matter of time.  
  
Usually, I would go straight to the drinks, pour myself a few before downing those and getting myself a few more. This time, I didn’t get to do that. While the alcohol was just out of reach--all that was needed was minimal effort--Olivia pulled me along. With how enthusiastically she was walking in one particular direction, I could tell she found the guy she was interested in.  
  
There were two couches pushed close together in a corner, two male figures sitting on them while talking, drinks on the coffee table just two feet away. Olivia grinned excitedly and pulled on my arm even harder. She was just a few tugs away from pulling out my arm.  
  
“There’s my boys!” She announced as she finally let go of me and rushed up to them.  
  
She hugged her brother first, but not for too long. Not much later, She was clinging to the other guy and squeezed herself into the space between him and the armrest. He didn’t seem to mind at all.  
  
“Guys, this is Mickey,” she introduced after she had established her place. “Brian, you should remember her.”  
  
“Well, well, well,” Brian, her brother, gave me a smirk look, “I was right. The girl who nearly ran me over was the infamous Monica.”  
  
“Listen to your sister,” I retorted back, already feeling my fist naturally ball up due to his behaviour, yet still let myself fall onto the opposite end of the couch he was sitting on, “it’s Mickey.”  
  
He just gave me an amused grin. “What were you up to anyway?”  
  
“Oh, you know, the usual,” I shrugged and put my feet up on the coffee table, “orgies, drugs, alcohol, fire.”  
  
“Well, you have changed a lot since I last saw you, _Mickey_ ,” he grinned. “Only for the better.”  
  
“Yeah, and you’ve changed into a douche.”  
  
“Hey, that’s my brother you’re talking about!’ Olivia defended with a giggle.  
  
“I know.” I nodded and looked around. “Now, is anybody going to get us drinks or not?”  
  
Brian nodded at his friend, who’s name I still didn’t know, and gave him a small tap against his shoulder before beckoning to come with him. They both got up and left to the kitchen to get us all drinks. With them gone, Olivia and I shuffled closer to each other on our respective couches to go over our game plan.  
  
“Isn’t he hot?” She squealed a little.  
  
“Your brother?” I frowned, unsure what the fuck she was trying to do.  
  
“No, no, Mason. He’s hot, right?” She looked in his general direction.  
  
“I mean, I didn’t really have a good look at him. But we’ll do anything to get you with him. Just follow my lead if it comes to it.”  
  
She nodded as the guys came back to us. Mason gave Olivia the second drink he had and Brian gave me his. I was just trying to be a good wingwoman, but so far it seemed like Mason was also trying to get something out of Olivia, so that was good. Sure, it was little weird she was into her brother’s best friend, but I couldn’t really judge.  
  
And while I was trying to be a good wingwoman, and while I knew exactly what all of that meant, Brian putting his hand on my thigh did not sit right with me. It wasn’t just a friendly touch, is was up too high for that. Although it was my job to keep him distracted and to hype up Olivia, I also couldn’t betray my relationship with Alex for this. I had never been in this predicament before.  
  
I just looked down past my drink and at his hand for a second. “Umm, excuse me?”  
  
He hummed in response and looked at me, rubbing his thumb up and down. “Huh? Something wrong with you drink?”  
  
“Well, yeah, it’s wine, that’s never a good choice. But don’t touch me.”  
  
“Playing hard to get, are we?”  
  
I shrugged and downed the wine he gave me so it would at least have the chance of getting me towards a buzz. Of course, I didn’t want him to think I was playing hard to get. I just didn’t want him touching me since I was in a fucking relationship. But then again, I couldn't tell him that because it would cause him to ask Mason to set him up with another girl and ignore Olivia. Maybe him thinking I was playing hard to get was a good thing. He would keep trying to get with me even though I could continue to reject him. However, something didn’t feel right about this night.  
  
“Woah, easy there, girl,” Mason chuckled as I threw the cup onto the coffee table.  
  
“You guys should have given me something stronger, it’s not my problem,” I responded.  
  
“Take mine,” he offered with a wink.  
  
On one hand, I couldn’t take it because Olivia was pining over him. On the other, however, I really wanted that drink. It was just a drink, it couldn’t mean much. So, I took it from him and took a sip. It was just a simple rum and coke. So, I downed that shit as well.  
  
“Oh, wow, you’re just going hard, aren’t you?” Mason pointed out, obviously amused.  
  
“This is nothing, you guys just don’t go hard enough.”  
  
“Well, then, I’ll just have to go get us some more drinks.”  
  
It didn’t take much longer until the table had multiple cups scattered all over it along with some bottles. The place had filled up quite drastically and there were people everywhere. Brian was still trying his advances, but I continued to reject him. The key was to not be too harsh, just harsh enough for him to want me more. Olivia and Mason weren’t having as much luck, though. For some reason, Olivia was attempting, but Mason was interacting just a little too much with me and Brian.  
  
I needed to take action.  
  
I gave Olivia the look that told her to trust me and stood up. She grabbed the hand I held out for her and I pulled her along with me to where everybody was dancing.  
  
“Just follow what I do, okay?” I told her. “Guys always love this.”  
  
As soon as she gave me a nod, I started dancing with her. To get her into it, it started out normal, but there was a specific direction this had to go into. She was drunk enough to be okay with this. I, however, had to act more drunk than I actually was. Honestly, I was already acting it for quite a while. I knew it was time to do so when the guys were starting to go under faster than I was. It wasn’t that I thought I had to be more of a lightweight, I just didn’t want them to continue drinking until I reached the same point. I didn’t need alcohol poisoning on my hands.  
  
When Olivia was finally into the music, I started properly dancing with her--no, not just dancing, grinding. She seemed to be having fun, so that was good. But did the guys feel the same way. I took a look back at them and they were both grinning at us, so I decided to put myself into it fully.  
  
A few songs later, I brought Olivia back to the couches and told the guys it was my time to get drinks. I was mainly using it as an excuse to down some myself in the kitchen before coming back with one more drink for everybody else.  
  
As I was pouring myself a drink, I felt and arm wrap around my waist. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the touch for now, and put down the bottle. After taking a sip of my drink, I was fully expecting to turn around and see Brian making yet another one of his attempts that I could shoot down. But that wasn’t the case. A pair of lips were on mine immediately.  
  
It took awhile for me to understand what the fuck was happening, but as soon as it hit me, my eyes went wide. I didn’t see Brian’s brown hair, but I did see Mason’s black hair. With the situation developing, I quickly pushed him away and looked at him with a wild look.  
  
“What the fuck do you _think_ you’re doing?!” I yelped, trying to wipe the corruption from my lips, not caring how rude it seemed.  
  
“What?” He chuckled with a shake of his head. “You don’t need to worry. Brian and I have this deal that if a girl is into the other one, we are allowed to take them instead. It’s okay, he won’t be offended.”  
  
“You think this has something to do with Brian?!”  
  
“You’ve been rejecting him the entire night. I saw you giving me those looks on the dance floor. Brian really won’t mind.”  
  
“This has _nothing_ to do with me hurting Brian. I don’t give a fuck. I have a fucking boyfriend, I wasn’t going to go home with either of you. Are you insane?”  
  
“What he doesn’t know doesn’t count,” he shrugged and advanced again.  
  
“ _Dude_!” I shouted and pushed him away again. “I am no way drunk enough for you to take advantage of me. You’ve gotta check your morals again.”  
  
I stormed out of the kitchen, not wanting to stay with him any longer. Although I knew I had to go and warn Olivia and save her from heartbreak, I decided to make a trip to the bathroom first. I had to cool down before I did something I was going to regret.  
  
I splashed my face with some cold water and went over everything again. Honestly, I still couldn’t really comprehend it. I couldn’t recall giving him any sign that this was what I wanted. I just had to find a way to tell Olivia without her getting too hurt. And, of course, I had to find a way to get her away from the guys in the first place.  
  
But I didn’t have to worry about that.  
  
When I opened the bathroom door, Olivia was already there waiting for me.  
  
I sighed out in relief. “Oh my god, Olivia, I need to--”  
  
“You fucking bitch,” she seethed. “Do you think you can just get away with what you did?! You think you can just make out with him without me finding out. Why the fuck would you fucking do it in a public place. The least you could do was spare me from seeing it and go straight to the fucking bedroom!”  
  
“No, that’s not--”  
  
“You know, when all the other girls at school called you a slut, I defended you. I thought you were better than that. I knew you would never fucking do it to me. But they were right. You don’t give a shit about anybody. All you care about is yourself and about who you can get into bed next. You just use everybody.”  
  
“Olivia, I can expl--”  
  
“I get why your mother didn’t fucking want you when your parents got a divorce. She could just tell you were going to be whoring around. You deserved to be with your father. You are both good for nothing deadbeats. You can’t keep a relationship. You’ll just be a drunk living in your own filth. I don’t understand why your mom hasn’t fucking disowned you yet. You do not deserve the Kingsley name, _Barker.”_  
  
I bolted out of there, tears slowly running down my cheeks. Here I was, hoping to get my old childhood friend back, and she turned on me so quickly.  
  
I quickly pulled out my phone as soon as I was outside on the road and called the only person I knew wouldn’t judge me for crying.  
  
“I don’t care how horny you are, I don’t care how much you try to convince me, I will not be taking advantage of you when drunk,” Alex said sternly down the phone.  
  
“I know,” I sniffled and tried drying away the tears that kept falling. “Can you come and pick me up?”  
  
“What's wrong?”  
  
“Just please come and pick me up,” I begged.  
  
“Okay, I’m on my way.”


	58. Chapter Fifty-Eight: Long to Understand

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
I saw Mickey waiting on the curb outside the house she told me to come pick her up from. The only people around were drunk party-goers smoking and making out with each other, but they didn’t seem to take any notice of Mickey just sitting there all by herself. I was fully prepared to park my car, get out, and go up to her there to see what was going on. Instead, without even taking a glance in my direction, she got up and rushed to the passenger side. It almost seemed like she would have gotten into any random car that stopped here.  
  
She put on her seatbelt and still continued to practically ignore me, so I assumed that meant to just drive. I knew better than to push it by now. If she wanted to tell me, she would do so when she was ready. It might take awhile, but it would eventually come out. I was going to respect the silence.  
  
However, there was one question I did have to ask and couldn’t just leave. “Where am I driving you?”  
  
She sighed and wiped away her last tears before rolling her head in my direction. “I’m staying at Michael’s, just take me there.”  
  
“Would you like to come to mine instead?” I asked, knowing just how much she didn’t like being there.  
  
“No, it’s fine. I promised him I would stay with him. It was my choice.”  
  
I nodded and adjusted my course so we would end up in the right place. Mickey really was trying to change. Here she was, going out with her old childhood best friend (which obviously didn’t go well), improving her relationship with her mom, being more open, and even trying to include Michael a little despite all he did.  
  
After a few more moments of silence, Mickey suddenly spoke up. “No matter what anybody tells you about tonight, do not believe them.”  
  
“No?” I frowned, keeping my eyes on the road, but sensing this was when Mickey was going to spill everything. “Why not?”  
  
“Everybody has their own twisted view of it, everybody was drunk. I was the only only one thinking straight– and now Olivia has it out for me.”  
  
Although it wasn’t the right question to ask, it was the only one that come out of my mouth. “What did you do?”  
  
“No, no, _I_ didn’t do anything,” Mickey shook her head, but didn’t get mad at me. “I was just trying to be her wingwoman. You know, like I sometimes do for Jack.”  
  
“Right.”  
  
“But then this guy comes onto me. He’s one of those dudes that just thinks he can kiss any girl who he lies eyes on. Olivia saw and she blew up on me; said a few things that are probably true, but I don’t want to think about.”  
  
Sure, my heart dropped a little at the fact that she shared a kiss with another guy and that it wasn’t just one of her random overly-drunk kisses she would give to anybody without meaning, but the way she said it really did tell me that she did not want it to happen. She didn’t sound disgusted, but she sounded way too casual and annoyed about it.  
  
“So, Olivia is mad at you for that dude making a move on you?” I investigated. “That makes no sense.”  
  
“She thinks I did it on purpose and wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain what actually happened.”  
  
“That just sounds way too much like a romantic comedy fall out scene.”  
  
“But I’m pretty sure there is no making up here,” she scoffed and ran a hand through her hair. “All I wanted was to reconnect with my best friend, but she’s no better than Heather.”  
  
“Oh, wow, the Heather-label. That must be bad.” I sucked a breath in. I could easily agree that my ex-girlfriend was not a great person.  
  
“People suck. This is why I don’t do friends.”  
  
“But it’s how you met me.” I shrugged and sneakily grabbed her hand before swiftly raising it to my mouth and giving it a short kiss.  
  
She pulled it back and teasingly slapped my leg. “Fuck off.”  
  
“Hey, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”  
  
“I wish,” she snorted.  
  
“I know you don’t mean that, my ego is way too big for that,” I retorted.  
  
She didn’t reply back and just stared out of the window to her right. Although she was silent and staring off into the distance, I knew she wasn’t mad. Her body language just didn’t say so. She wasn’t hiding behind her hair to create a physical barrier between us, her hands weren’t balled up ready to throw a punch, and her legs were relaxed instead of standing their ground. But she was thinking.  
  
About what? I didn’t know.  
  
It was times like this when I wished I could just read her mind. You know, times where her eyes drifted off and she was obviously in her own world without her guard up. It was like there was this whole other complicated world inside her mind. I sometimes got glimpses of that reality, but how I wished the explore it further. Just to understand.  
  
She started laughing and rolled her head to look at me.  
  
“What’s so funny?” I chuckled, getting a brief glimpse of her.  
  
“Nothing.” She shook her head and tried brushing some hair out of her face. “The alcohol’s just starting to hit me. Michael’s going t’go insane.”  
  
“Hey, don’t worry about that.” I tried comforting her by stroking her arm. “I’ll be there with you. He won’t do anything.”  
  
“Fuck me,” she groaned with another laugh following soon after.  
  
“I won’t let him do anything, and if he does, we can go to mine.”  
  
“No, Alex. He doesn’t ever do anything,” she scolded me, “he’s just going to be disappointed. Just give me a few minutes to sober up.”  
  
“I think you’ll need a bit more than a few minutes if it’s just started to hit you.”  
  
“Just a few minutes,” she repeated in a mumble as her eyes closed and she fell asleep.  
  
It took more than just a few minutes, but I couldn’t just take her to Michael’s like this. Taking her to mine would be betraying her. So, I did the only thing I thought I could do at the time. I just drove around with no real destination. It was just road after road without an idea where I was. I managed to keep it up until Mickey woke up again. She was a little confused, but definitely a lot more sober again.  
  
I took her to Michael’s house just like I promised.  
  
“I could really go for some pizza right now,” Mickey sighed as I turn off the car and she took off her seatbelt.  
  
“There’s nothing stopping you from ordering some.” I pointed out and took the keys out of the ignition.  
  
“You’re really smart sometimes,” she exaggerated in all seriousness and was the first to leave the car.  
  
I followed her closely as she just walked into the house without knocking or unlocking the doors first. Here I was, trying to prepare myself for whatever was to come, and she was acting so casual.  
  
Michael was in his chair watching TV while Mickey went straight for the phone. He didn’t even acknowledge us coming in. He was too invested in whatever was playing on the TV that was placed way too close. I was surprised he wasn’t passed out with how many empty beer bottles were surrounding him.  
  
“What’s up, Pop?” Mickey greeted, finally catching his attention. “Alex and I are just going to order some pizza and be up in my room.”  
  
His eyes moved from Mickey’s figure right to me. I could just tell he was judging me. He wasn’t even trying to hide it with his squinted eyes and scowl. Honestly, I was no longer afraid he was going to do something to Mickey. Rather, I was scared he might actually do something to me.  
  
“I don’t think so,” Michael grumbled and turned his head back towards the tv.  
  
“Ugh, but I really want pizza,” Mickey whined. “I won’t even use your money for it!”  
  
“I don’t give a fuck about your pizza,” he scoffed while stuffing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. “I give a fuck about you taking that boy up to your room. I raised ya better than that.” He looked at me. “What you goin’ to be doing to my daughter, huh? You just goin’ to be taking advantage of her like that.”  
  
I felt like I needed to defend myself, I couldn’t just let somebody talk about me like that. But something else was telling me that actually saying something would make the entire situation worse. This guy wasn’t up for hearing me out.  
  
Mickey shook her head in disbelief. “It’s Alex, he drove me home. I’m just offering him some pizza to thank him.”  
  
“Those boys always expect something in return like you’re some slut. Is that what you want them to think, that you’re some slut?!”  
  
“Oh my god,” Mickey breathed out and pressed two fingers between her eyebrows out of frustration. “He’s my boyfriend, nothing 'slutty' will be going down. He’ll leave after we finish the pizza and I go to bed. I’ll keep the door open if that’s what you fucking want.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Fine,” Mickey rolled her eyes and ordered the pizza.  
  
While we were waiting, we had to stay down in the kitchen-slash-living room. Michael was still too afraid something would be happening that he did not want happening. To say it was awkward was an understatement. As soon as the pizza arrived, Mickey and I couldn’t be up in her room any faster.  
  
“Told ya he wouldn’t do anything.” Mickey poked as she sat on the floor and opened the box in front of her.  
  
I sat down with her and looked at the door that was wide open. “Isn’t this an invasion of privacy?”  
  
She shrugged and picked up a slice. “At least we’re up here. It’s all good intentions. It’s not like we’re doing anything that he shouldn’t see.”  
  
“Hmm.” I gave a single nod with a frown and took my own slice. I wasn’t entirely convinced, but there wasn’t anything I could do at that moment.  
  
After finishing my slice, I decided to ask something that I had been wondering since Mickey woke up in my car. “Do you remember anything of what happened tonight?”  
  
“Yeah,” she nodded and took a large bite of pizza. “I remember everything. I didn’t drink enough to ruin my memories.”  
  
“Yeah? You’ve told me that before and then failed trying to recount everything.”  
  
“I went to the party with Olivia. We met her brother and this guy she’s into. I tried to be a good wingwoman, things went wrong. He tried to get with me, Olivia got super mad. You came and picked me up, I told you what happened, and I fell asleep.”  
  
“I’m proud of you,” I joked with a chuckle.  
  
“Not too loud!” Mickey shushed my laughing. “Michael can’t think we’re having too much fun here."  
  
I left that house with much regret. I didn’t want to leave Mickey all alone in there. She kept saying that Michael ‘didn’t do anything’, but I didn’t have a good feeling about it.


	59. Chapter Fifty-Nine: Repetition. Chapter 59: Repetition.

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
My head was pounding. Every inch of my body felt some sort of pain. My neck was stiff, my ribs felt bruised, my limbs just an inch from bending at weird angles. But mainly, my head was absolutely hating me. I had no clue what was going on, but I woke up on the floor at the bottom of the steps in the house. There were beer bottles scattered around the place, but that was just the norm.  
  
I slowly lifted my head and looked around in confusion. My eyes landed on the digital clock that replaced the channel on the cable box whenever the tv was off. It took a while to focus and make sense of the lights in mathematical shapes. When it finally dawned on me that it was already 7:15, I scrambled to get up. I needed to get to school.  
  
The pressure in my head got worse as I shot up and picked up my backpack from the floor, almost making me pass out. But I needed to leave, I needed to power through. So, despite my vision nearly going completely black, and my balance being completely off, I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen counter and ran to my car.  
  
I probably shouldn’t have been on the road. Although I had driven in many bad conditions, this was something else. With my broken arm I could at least process everything around me and still had a normal reaction time. Sure, I didn’t have the full capability to act responsibly, but I could still see it coming. Now, just the act of driving was making everything blur together. I couldn’t even remember driving when I suddenly found myself parked in the parking lot at school.  
  
The parking lot was completely full, but there were no students walking around anymore. Other than the countless of cars, there was no sign of life. I frowned and went to turn off my car to find I had already taken the keys out of the ignition and was holding them in my hands. Yet again, it was a clock that made me realise exactly how much I needed to hurry.  
  
This time it was 8:00. Which meant I was fifteen minutes late. It made absolutely no sense. It never took longer than half an hour to get to school, and even that was an exception. I should have made it just on time if not early. How the fuck did I add an extra fifteen minutes to my time?  
  
I left my car and stumbled towards the building and through the halls. Somehow, after some long painful thinking, I managed to remember what my first class was supposed to be for the day. I altered my course so I would end up there.  
  
I had absolutely no clue if I added more unnecessary minutes to my journey or not, but I felt nothing but glee when I finally found the classroom I had to be in. The class was already in full blow, the teacher going on and on about whatever she was teaching that day. I just walked in and went to my usual seat that was just in front of Alex, Rian, and Jack, hoping to just be ignored. Hopefully, acting casual would allow me to get away with this one. I did not have a good excuse and something told me that I did not have the mental capacity to create one on the spot. Telling them I woke up on the floor and suddenly appeared at school did not sound like something that would be forgiven.  
  
But I wasn’t that lucky. Of course, Ms. Teach had to make a scene.  
  
“Umm, Mickey, aren’t you forgetting anything?” She asked me with much ambiguity just as I put my bag on my table and was about to sit down.  
  
“Huh?” I looked at her, really not able to figure out what she meant even when she looked in the direction of the door.  
  
“Principal’s note?” She clarified with a very disappointed look.  
  
“Right,” I sighed with a nod, making my brain feel like I was in some wild rollercoaster ride.  
  
It seemed like the way back out of the classroom was one of the longest routes I was ever going to have to take in my life, and I had been on many road trips. I left my bag on the table, knowing I would come back anyway, and started down the long road. Despite my vision betraying me, I managed to make it down the many rows of seats, only to crash into the last table before I could turn to the door. I tried my best to play it off, but the pain shot up my leg and I nearly lost my balance.  
  
“Mickey, are you drunk right now?” The teacher asked, but it sounded like she already assumed I was. She was accusing me.  
  
“No,” I groaned and went for the door again, this time without incidents. But even I didn’t believe myself. My confusion really did make it feel like I was way past my limit, but I couldn’t remember drinking anything.  
  
After I closed the door behind myself, I started to stumble through the halls. I had no idea how I had managed to get to class without much trouble, because I had no clue where the fuck I was going. Everything looked exactly the same. There were lockers, there were classrooms, and there were turns. Every corner I turned, it seemed like I was teleported back to where I started.  
  
It started to make me feel queasy, making my stomach turn. Although I consciously had no clue where I was, my subconscious must have. I ran to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall before all the contents in my stomach came back up. If I really was drunk like whatever teacher I was supposed to have said, then that should have made me feel better, but I still felt like shit. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but the occasional drop of water hitting my hand told me I was crying.  
  
There was no indication of how long I was in there, but when I came out of the stall, I noticed I had black smudged underneath my eyes. I didn’t even know that I had been wearing makeup. The last I remembered, I took it off after the pizza arrived. But here I was, running mascara and eyeliner. It wasn’t even like it was residue. No, this was a whole new layer.  
  
When it suddenly hit me that I was still at school, I remembered I had to get back to class quickly. I rushed through the repetitive halls. However, this time my destination stood out from everything. The door just caught my eye like it was the only thing still stable in reality. So, I went right for it, once again interrupting the class.  
  
“Nice of you to finally come back,” the teacher smiled and held out her hand, “do you have your note?”  
  
“My note?” I frowned before remembering what I had gone out for earlier. “Oh, shit, I forgot.”  
  
I turned around to go back, but she stopped me. “No, go take a seat, you’ve missed enough already. I’ll report this later.”  
  
So, I did. I sat down like I had originally wanted. There were whispers all around me and I could feel the stares coming from behind me. Rian even kicked my chair to try and get my attention after the boys shared a few whispers, but it just made my stomach start messing with me again. I could not focus on the lesson, but I also wasn’t able to be distracted by anything. I was in my own world.  
  
When the bell rang, pain shot through my head. I immediately clutched it with my hands while all the other students were eager to leave. Honestly, I had no idea how I ended up in that chair, but I was just trying to go along with what everybody else was doing. So, I got up as well and picked up my bag only to be met with Alex standing right in front of me.  
  
“Hey, you okay?” he whispered to keep the conversation private with Jack and Rian waiting behind him, and touched my arm lightly.  
  
I looked at him and hummed in response before walking away, slipping my arm away from his touch. Alex, however, had other plans and stopped me from leaving the classroom by pulling me back. The sudden change in direction made my head feel like it was turning into mush. It only caused me to stay rather than try to walk further.  
  
“Hang on,” he raised his hand, stretching his hoodie over his pointer finger and bringing it up to my face, “your makeup’s a little smudged.”  
  
I just whined softly and slipped away again, this time making it into the hallway. There were people walking all over the place, confusing me even further than I already was. They were chatting, shuffling, moving, shouting. Everything.  
  
“What’s going on?” Alex caught up to me, his hand yet again grazing my arm. “Did Michael do something to you?”  
  
“No, he doesn’t do anything.”  
  
“You’ve got a black eye, Mickey.”  
  
“Stop touching me,” I grumbled. My eyes were shooting from student to student, trying to make sense of all the noises and things to see--  
  
I woke up in a bright white room. My eyes kept closing due to the harsh lights, my head pounding every single time I tried. It was too difficult to get used to.  
  
“Hey,” a familiar voice said beside me as a hand stroked my face, “I was just about to wake you up, but you seem to have beaten me to it.”  
  
I squinted my eyes and looked at the figure next to me. “Mom?”  
  
“Yeah,” she confirmed, acting like me being here was normal, “is everything okay, do you need me to get you something?”  
  
“What happened?” I asked, noticing she was still in her scrubs and that I was in a hospital.  
  
“Oh, you passed out in the hallway at school,” she told me, sitting down in the chair and taking hold of my hands.  
  
“What, why?” I frowned before realising it made my headache worse.  
  
“Well, the school thought you were drunk, but we checked your blood alcohol level, and that wasn’t the case. Luckily, Alex insisted on coming and helped us out a little further. You're showing all the symptoms of a concussion. ”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Well, it seems like you’ve had quite the blow to your head before you even hit your head when you fainted,” she explained.  
  
“Wait, where _is_ Alex?”  
  
“I sent him back to school, but don’t worry, he has my car so he’s going to be coming back soon.”  
  
“Oh. You must trust him, then.”  
  
“Yeah, he did tell us how you were acting at school, which helped a lot.”  
  
“I was at school?”  
  
“Yeah.” Mom nodded with a smile. “You were brought here by ambulance.”  
  
I softly nodded again and asked an important question. “Does Alex know?”  
  
“He knows,” she chuckled, “he came here with you.”  
  
“Then where is he now?”  
  
“I sent him back to school, but school’s almost ended, he’ll be here soon.”  
  
“Oh, okay,” I nodded. “... But how did he get back?”  
  
“He took my car, so he’s alright.”  
  
“You really must trust him,” I praised her.  
  
“I do,” she nodded with a smile. “But how about I ask you a question now. Do you remember anything before you hit your head?”  
  
“I just remember waking up on the floor…” I mumbled, trying my best to remember the moments before that. “Wait, hang on, how did I get here?”  
  
“Okay, why don’t you try to get some more rest. I’ll wake you up again to check on you when Alex comes.”  
  
“Alex? What’s wrong with Alex?” I looked up at her.  
  
“Nothing’s wrong with him, he came here with you, but had to go back to school.”  
  
“But how--”  
  
“Just try to get some rest, we’ll talk about it more later.” Mom brushed some hair out of my face, trying to get me to fall asleep again.


	60. Chapter Sixty: Mysterious Phone Call

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
“Hey, ‘Lex, you gonna drive me home?” Jack asked as we started up the stairs in Rian’s basement.  
  
“Nah, sorry.” I shook my head, reaching the top of the stairs and opening the door to the hallway.  
  
“The fuck! _Why?”_ He complained with a childish whine.  
  
Before I could reply, Ms. Kathi interrupted from further into the house. “Excuse me?!”  
  
Jack rolled his eyes and exhaled. “Sorry.”  
  
“I’m going over to see Mickey.” I told him as I looked behind me to see Rian and Zack following us upstairs as well. “I promised I would come over today after practice.”  
  
“Awe, man, I haven’t seen her since she passed out at school,” Jack said.  
  
“Me neither,” I commented, “that’s why I’m going to go now.”  
  
“Can I come?” he asked out of nowhere, not even giving himself enough time to consider the whole idea of coming with me.  
  
Of course, it made sense that he would want to see his friend that hadn’t been at school for the past three days. However, he could have made it very awkward as well. You see, don’t get me wrong, Mickey and I did things other than sleeping together. If anything, we spent more time doing things other than that. But then again, it had been three days since I saw her, even longer since we had last been with each other. So, this could have just been us meeting up to change that.  
  
Lucky for him, however, those weren’t our intentions. I really was just going over to check up on her and see how she was doing. The thought of having sex hadn’t even crossed my mind. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t even have gone through with it if the opportunity did arise. Mickey was still recovering from her concussion, and I didn’t want to risk disrupting that.  
  
“If Mickey doesn’t mind,” I shrugged. It wasn’t my choice. I could both imagine Mickey being okay with it and also being absolutely annoyed with it. She was obviously better enough to have me over again, but that didn’t mean she was prepared for how hyper Jack could get.  
  
“Hang on,” Rian jumped in, “are you guys going over to see Mickey right now?”  
  
“Yeah.” Jack nodded excitedly.  
  
“Mind if I come?” Rian asked. He, however, did analyse the situation a little better, and didn’t want to intrude either. “I get if you don’t want me to or if Mickey rather wouldn’t, but it would be nice to see how she’s doing.”  
  
“I mean, I don’t give a-- I don’t care,” I shrugged and caught myself before I would get scolded by Ms. Kathi as well. “It all depends on what Mickey wants. But it doesn’t hurt to show up, right? Zack, do you want to come as well?”  
  
Zack looked up at me, a little surprised I even asked. “Do you think she’d want me to come? I don’t know her as well as you guys.”  
  
“I mean, you are one of her closest friends based on the four she has,” Jack told him as an encouragement.  
  
“Jack!” I scolded and punched his arm. “That’s rude.”  
  
“What?!” He defended. “Are you telling me she has more friends than just us?”  
  
I opened my mouth, about to say Olivia’s name, but stopped myself in time. That friendship had ended. So, my mouth closed again and I had to take a few seconds to think. When it hit me, I clapped my hands. “Jordan! That guy we met on tour, her friend from a few years ago.”  
  
“He wanted to leave her to die, I hardly call that a friend,” he scoffed and crossed his arms as we went to the front door.  
  
“Okay, well, whatever,” I dismissed him and focused on telling Zack he was one of Mickey’s friends even though he didn’t see her as often as us. “She is the one who set you up with your girlfriend, so… if that doesn’t say anything, I don’t know what will.”  
  
Zack smiled a little at the memory and the thought of his girlfriend. “Okay, alright, I’ll come.”  
  
So, off we went, starting the long trek to Mickey’s house. I honestly was pretty lucky that my girlfriend was one of my best friend’s neighbours. Especially since I would be at that best friend’s house multiple times a week. Of course, it would have been even better to be the one living in the same street as her. But then again, my house was her favourite place to go to now when she just wanted to get away from it all.  
  
I was the one to ring the doorbell, waiting for the door to open as my trusty three friends were standing behind me. It didn’t take long until Mickey’s mom appeared. She had been staying at home a lot more while Mickey was on bed rest. Usually she’d work long days and-slash-or nights.  
  
“Hey, guys,” she greeted with a big smile and stepped aside for us to come inside, “Mickey’s in the living room.”  
  
“Thanks, Carla,” I returned the friendly gesture and entered the house.  
  
Jack immediately gasped, “first name basis! How did you get on a first name basis?!”  
  
“Boyfriend privileges,” I shrugged acting like it was no big deal. Honestly, it was quite a big deal. It had only been a recent thing. To me, it still felt weird calling Mrs. Kingsley by her first name, but she insisted. I was just trying to push through until it became normal.  
  
“Oh, look, it’s all of my boys.” Mickey was looking at us over her shoulder from the couch she was sitting on. She reached her arms above her head and stretched out, clicking some of her bones in the process.  
  
 _“All_ your boys?” I raised an eyebrow as I approached her, swerving around the couch before letting myself plot down beside her.  
  
“Yeah, I own you all, obviously,” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes.  
  
“I mean, I did get paid to hang out with you,” Rian admitted while he and the others spread out on the other couch and the lounge chair.  
  
“Do you buys want anything to drink?” Mickey’s mom asked us,  
  
We all told her that we were fine and I mentioned that I would gladly help myself if I did want something later, to which Rian agreed. She said she was going to go to the study and to call her if we needed anything.  
  
Mickey focused on the coffee table in front of her and gesturing to it with both hands. “Welcome to my kingdom of bedrest.”  
  
To me, the table just looked a little cluttered. Paper was scattered all over the place, some in the form of loose sheets, others in piles, and the occasional sketchbook inbetween. It was further decorated with pencils and pens mainly in shades of grey or black and white. There was a large jug of water accompanied by a glass that was still filled until just about half-way. And then there was the floor furthest away from the couch yet closest to the TV that was covered in balls of paper. This mess was something that Mickey converted into her ‘kingdom’.  
  
“Over here we have the paper plains,” Mickey pointed at the paper spread around, “not to be confused with the paper planes, which we will get back to later. The plains have the occasional boulder in it, but don’t worry about them,” she referred to the pens. “Then over here, we have the castle of good ideas,” she moved our attention to the one sketch book that was being used properly and was on the part of the table right in front of her. “Unfortunately not all ideas are good, so we have the pit of doom on the other side of our kingdom. Many planes have crashed here. Enter at your own discretion. And then we have the water tower to keep the place running.”  
  
“You seem like you’re a little bored,” I laughed while simultaneously nodding. It was quite impressive that she created an entire story, even more impressive if she came up with it on the spot.  
  
“Very,” she sighed in desperation, “there’s only so much drawing and channel surfing I can do. But I have been trapped! There’s no way out!”  
  
“It’s for your own good.” Mickey’s mom interrupted before her complaining went any further, coming from the hallway.  
  
“At least just let me go and do something.”  
  
“I’m not letting your drive a car just yet.” It was obvious this conversation had happened many times before. “Maybe in a few more days.”  
  
“What about a walk? A walk is safe, right?” Mickey tried to compromise with a hopeful look.  
  
“Okay, fine,” she gave in before switching the subject. “Anyway, I’m here because there’s somebody on the phone for you.”  
  
“So?” Mickey shrugged, seeming the least interested anybody could be.  
  
“It’s California…” Carla mentioned, a small smirk growing on her face.  
  
This changed Mickey’s mood completely. Her eyes went wide and she stared at her mother while sitting up a little straighter. When the statement wasn’t followed with a ‘sike’ or ‘just kidding’ or any other indication it wasn’t what she thought it was, she jumped up and rushed to the study. But it didn’t go as smoothly as she had intended. A few seconds after suddenly standing up, she froze and clutched her head.  
  
“Be careful!” Her mom warned. But Mickey didn’t really listen. She started running as soon as she felt a little better again, causing her mom to shout out once more before following her into the study. _“Mickey!”_  
  
When the two women had left the room, all eyes were on me.  
  
“What?” I questioned.  
  
“What’s ‘California?’” Jack was the first out of the three to ask.  
  
“I don’t know…” my gaze shifted to Rian and I raised an eyebrow. “Do you know?”  
  
“Why would I know?” He responded.  
  
“Maybe she got a call from a college?” Zack suggested, the only one actually thinking of options.  
  
“Did she apply to anything?” I directed my question to Rian again.  
  
“I don’t know! Once again, why would I know?” He made very clear.  
  
“She tells you things she doesn’t tell me. Usually stuff about that,” I shrugged, thinking my thought process was just reasonable.  
  
“She hasn’t said anything… Maybe it’s another old friend?”  
  
“No, I don’t think there’s any more secret best friends we don’t know about.” I shook my head. “But then again, I never know with Mickey.”  
  
“Well, she obviously was excited, so that’s a good thing, right? Nothing to worry about,” Jack brought forward.  
  
It was true, but at the same time it was not. “A bit worrying that this seems so important and I don’t know anything. But then again, I did spend more time with her trying to figure out what caused her concussion than discovering anything else really.”  
  
“Yeah, what actually happened?” Rian became curious.  
  
“Oh, long story short, she slipped on beer bottles on the stairs at Michael’s and slammed her head on the steps and the floor. So, technically she was right when she said she didn’t hurt him. But I think it’s his fault for leaving those bottles all over the place in the first place.”  
  
Before we could start speculating again, Mickey came back. She didn’t look as happy as she did before. If anything, she looked a little sad. My mind immediately went to the college suggestion, but they wouldn’t call her just to reject her. So, why not just ask?  
  
“Who was that?” I brought it up like it was just me showing interest and not like we had been discussing it.  
  
“Just some family,” she replied acting like it was no big deal.  
  
“I thought you hated your family.” I frowned, not understanding how her earlier reaction could be about the same thing.  
  
“I do.” She nodded, looking off into the distance for a bit before snapping out of it. “Anyway, do you guys want to come on that walk with me? I really can’t hang out inside any longer.”  
  
Although it was dark outside, we all agree for her sake. She really did seem to be going stir-crazy. However, I was the only one that could sense that she really was feeling upset after that phone call and not just that her mood had calmed down. To show my acknowledgement, I pressed a kiss to her temple but didn’t want to push it.


	61. Chapter Sixty-one: Dreadful Words

**Mickey’s POV  
**  
For the first time in ages I was actually praying to get to leave the house. Okay, no that was a lie. I had recently been praying for the same exact thing when I was stuck inside after my concussion. But that was a week ago, so it could be considered ages in the eyes of some people. It was all relative. Like, I also believed my desire to get out was relatively much worse this time around. This was much more like a punishment. I didn’t even get peace and quiet, my head was going to explode.  
  
My only possible escape came in the form of the doorbell ringing. I rushed to the door, awaiting my extraction, hoping nobody would notice and catch me. When I saw Alex waiting patiently on the other side, I knew freedom wasn’t far away.  
  
“Please tell me you’re here to save me!” I exclaimed with much hope.  
  
“No,” he shook his head and forced his way inside because I definitely wasn’t going to let him, “I’m here to celebrate your birthday.”  
  
“Trust me, you don’t want to be here.” I desperately tried to stop him by getting in between him and the path he wanted to take almost like I was trying to hide something. Only, that didn’t work because the door opened right into the open plan dining and living room.  
  
He gave me a look telling me he was about to prove me wrong. “Yes, I do. Because you’re my girlfriend and I– I shouldn’t really need another reason.”  
  
“I would really like a different and better reason, because right now you’re not convincing me.” I crossed my arms and still fully intended on leaving the house within the next minute.  
  
But nothing and nobody was on my side for this one. It really was like everything was planned and everybody coordinated to keep me stuck in the prison that was supposed to be my home. Right now, it was far from being a home to me. It didn’t feel safe, it didn’t make me feel comfortable, and I couldn’t be myself. I was wearing that goddamn dress with the goddamn yellow daisies on it. No matter how many times my mom made me wear it, I wasn’t going to like it.  
  
“Mickey, come to the kitchen and help me out,” the devil herself called out. While our relationship was much better than back during the first day of school, I definitely didn’t like her right at that moment.  
  
I huffed and glared at Alex. It wasn’t like he could do anything about my mom wanting me in the kitchen, but he sure as hell wasn’t my favourite person anymore either. He was advocating the enemies’ views and was even colluding with them. It was basically treason. He even escorted me to the kitchen like I was a prisoner of war.  
  
“What?” I huffed loudly as I entered the kitchen seeing my mom with various plates on snacks for the ruckus in our living room.  
  
My mom looked up with an annoyed look on her face, which melted away and was replaced with a smile when she saw Alex was here as well now. “Alex, how are you?”  
  
“Good,” he replied back, making me feel sick. I hated them being so nice to each other more than when my mom hated him. “What about you?”  
  
“I’m good, thanks, except for Mickey not cooperating.” My mom returned to her glare as she put away something in the fridge.  
  
“I didn’t ask for all our family members to come over for my birthday!” I argued back, still hating the fact that there were 24 people in our living room, including kids. “You don’t get to be mad at me.”  
  
“Yet I still am,” she retorted and picked up a bowl with food and forcing it into my hands. “Now, go bring this to the guest who came here for you.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, “like hell they are here for me.”  
  
As I left the kitchen I heard Alex say, “I’ll happily help out as well.”  
  
He really was conspiring with the enemy against me. I just put the bowl of snacks on the coffee table which people were sitting at. Honestly, I didn’t understand why my parents would ask our entire family to come over in the middle of January. It was cold, there was no garden for people to stand around in. There were literally 30 people inside. It wasn’t too crowded, but it was a lot.  
  
Alex also put down the two plates he was carrying, immediately sparking interest in the crowd. One of my uncles spoke up, voicing everybody’s curiosity, “ooh, we’ve never met you before.”  
  
Alex looked at me, hoping I would introduce him. And I did. Not because he didn’t want to do it himself, but because I wanted to answer all questions before they were asked. I wanted to avoid comments and anything else they would say. “This is Alex. He is my boyfriend. I know, surprising. Yes, it’s real. I don’t remember how long we’ve been together. I met him at school.”  
  
Everybody nodded and some even greeted him. It seemed like I had answered all questions that could either be asked out of interest or asked as small talk. However, my aunt Carol still had an oh-so important comment to make. She would have exploded if she couldn’t have made her remark.  
  
“I told you you’d find the right boy!” she gushed, a big smile on her face.  
  
 _“Really?”_ I shook my head at her, now really wanting nothing more than to just leave this house. “Are you _kidding_ me?”  
  
“I’m just saying–”  
  
“I know _exactly_ what you’re saying,” I scoffed. My annoyance had turned into anger, and it was just a second away from turning into rage.  
  
I hated looking like the weak one. I absolutely hated not being able to stand my ground. I would always fight back. But I knew doing that this time would get me nowhere. It would make things worse. Much worse. All the judgement would tenfold. Instead of defending myself, I would only be proving them right. It was a sticky situation, I needed to get out of it.  
  
I did the one thing I could only do. I went upstairs. Not like a pissed off teenager running up the stairs and slamming her door. I went up calmly and collected, but still with enough determination that showed that I was done with their shit. Afterall, I was twenty now. Once I actually got up the stairs, it was a whole different story. I ran into my room, but didn’t get to shut my door just yet.  
  
My eyes landed on my desk. It had been relatively clean before. My pens were in containers and cases, my sketchbooks all in two piles. Yes, my desk was full then, but it wasn’t cluttered. Now, however, it had all been ruined. My pens were all over my desk and the floor. The caps weren’t on most of them, some tips had obviously been pressed on way too hard, now ruined forever. Although those things were expensive, it wasn’t the worst part. My sketchbooks were open, but they hadn’t just been looked at. There were thick Sharpie lines scratched through my drawings, some just a large line spanning over multiple pages, and others completely scribbled over. My heart fell and tears started prickling at my eyes.  
  
“Yo, hey…” Alex put a hand on my shoulder, apparently having followed me up to my room.  
  
It made me snap my gaze away from my desk. I harshly shrugged off his hand and started looking for a way out. My own bedroom wasn’t a safe space anymore with these people in my house. I rushed to my window to make my escape. I hadn’t climbed out of it in ages, my parents trusted me enough to keep it unlocked. But when I tried to push it up, it wouldn’t budge.  
  
I jiggled the lock a bit, seeing if it maybe jammed, but the window still wouldn’t open. “Are you. Fucking. Kidding. Me!” I groaned in between attempts.  
  
“Mickey!” my mom yelled, coming into my room. “What do you think you’re going?”  
  
I stopped trying to open the window and looked at her. “I _need_ to get out of here.” It was only then that I realised that my hands had started shaking  
  
“Mickey,” she sighed and shook her head at me. “Just come back downstairs.”  
  
I shook my head, feeling my heartbeat increasing. “No, I can’t _stand_ them.”  
  
“I know, but it’s just one day,” she tried to explain calmly, her anger disappearing.  
  
I stood my ground, the shaking now crawling up my arms and my nails finding their way between my teeth. _“No._ No, I’m not going to listen to them judging me. I’m not going to listen to fucking Carol try to convince me to be straight ‘because that’s the way it’s supposed to be’.”  
  
“I know, you don’t have to, you just have to be there.”  
  
“Somebody ruined _all_ my work!” I went back to my desk, catching Alex look lost in the corner of my room. The black Sharpie made me feel physically sick. I swiped everything from my desk with my arm, making it all hit the floor with a loud clattering sound.  
  
“Okay. We’ll figure this out, you just need to calm down.” My mom slowly tried to approach me.  
  
But I couldn’t calm down, I was over that threshold. “You _know_ I can’t deal with them! But you still _had_ to invite them all over! And now _I_ look like the rude one!”  
  
She tried to explain her reasoning to me, “I thought we were past–”  
  
“Well, we fucking aren’t are we!” I yelled as my head started spinning. The shaking in my hands and arms weren’t just felt by me anymore, you could physically see it as well.  
  
“Mickey, please sit down,” my mom begged, already knowing what was happening. This had only happened during one period of my life before, but that had been ages ago.  
  
I knew she was right, I had to sit down before I fell over myself. She rushed up to me and let me hold on to her and she helped me lower down on the floor. My back was against the end of my bed and my mom was squatted down across from me, holding one of my hands.  
  
“Alex, close the door, will you?” She instructed while still staying kind to him.  
  
I looked up at him, once again reminded he was here. “Y-you should go.” He had seen me in many different states. I had cried in front of him before, I had laughed in front of him, I had become shy, I had been cocky. But he had never seen me like this, I didn’t want him to see me like this. This wasn’t who I was or who I wanted to be. I had left this behind five years ago.  
  
But he just shook his head and closed the door before sitting down next to me. He touched my shoulder in support, but I just shrugged it off again while I pulled my legs up and hid my head between my knees. My mom explained that I hated being touched so he wouldn’t take it personally. I reached out and held his hand, letting his fingers intertwine with mine.  
  
The same dark feeling I had experienced many times five years ago were overwhelming me now. It was all because of the people downstairs and what they had to say about me. They were the cause of it those many years ago as well. It was a horrible feeling, but it was something I had to push through.  
  
I must have started to calm down because my mom asked while stroking my hair, “did you take anything?”  
  
I was able to reply, but still kept my head down. “Nothing except for the Advil this morning for my headache.”  
  
“Okay,” she whispered and brushed away all the hair in my face as I finally dared to look up again. Drugs had been a big part of this when I was fifteen, so it only made sense she checked to make sure I wasn’t going down that path again.  
  
She got up and grabbed the makeup wipes from my desk before crouching down in front of my and carefully wiping the smudged makeup around my eyes. Alex finally dared to get closer to me. He pressed a kiss to my temple and didn’t seem to be weirded out despite not know what the fuck had just gone down.  
  
Everything that had happened surrounding my feelings for my extended family was more than my hatred for them. It was deeper than that.  
  
“Are you guys okay to stay up here?” My mom asked us after she was done wiping away all my makeup, directing the question to both me and Alex. When I nodded, she stood up and grabbed a few of my sketchbooks. “Okay, then I’m going to hunt down who did this.”  
  
I leaned into Alex and rested my head against his shoulder while we stayed in our positions. There was nothing but silence until my mom left and Alex spoke up, “you don’t have to tell me what happened.”  
  
I nodded and stayed quiet, staring out in front of me and scratching my nose.  
  
“Don’t feel bad about it. You know I have anxiety attacks myself. It’s all okay,” Alex told me, referring back to when I was telling him to leave.  
  
“It wasn’t really an anxiety attack or anything,” I confessed in a quiet voice, still trying to process it all myself. “Or maybe it was, I dunno. It used to happen a lot after my drug overdose. The overdose actually happened at a family event. I was high out of my mind and obviously not doing great, but nobody really seemed to really care. They just kept giving me their judgmental comments. How I shouldn’t dye my hair, how I shouldn’t have tattoos, how I shouldn’t be with girls, etcetera. I went to the bathroom to take some more, you know, to hopefully feel a little better. And I passed out. Somebody came into the bathroom when I was still partially conscious, but she just thought I was drunk or something and left me there. I don’t know how long I was in there, but it was only when my mom walked in that emergency services were called. While I was in rehab, family members would sometimes come to visit. I guess they hoped to be supportive, but it never turned out that way. I got the worst withdrawal symptoms whenever they came over. They even made me relapse a few times. I guess my brain still reacts in the same way when I’m around them now.”  
  
Alex breathed out heavily and ran his fingers through my tangled hair. I was expecting him to say something supportive, but I wasn't expecting what he actually said. “I love you.”  
  
I sat up and looked at him with wide eyes, wondering if I had heard him correctly or if I had misheard a word or two. But he confirmed it, “I do, I really do.”  
  
I didn’t know how to react, but I knew I had to do something. I closed the space I had created mere seconds before and kissed him deeply. For some reason, I felt like I was supposed to be uncomfortable or even afraid, but I didn’t feel like that at all. I was actually happy, which was such a strange feeling.  
  
When I pulled away from him, I opened my mouth. But I couldn’t tell him I loved him back. It nearly physically hurt trying to make the words come out.  
  
“Don’t worry, I get it,” he gave me a lopsided smile and kissed me again softly.


	62. Chapter Sixty-two: The Walk In

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
Ever since I told Mickey I loved her, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t know how long I had felt this way, but I had only recently figured out exactly what it meant. There was no way to deny that I did love her. She never said the three words back to me. As much as I would have loved the hear her say it back, I knew it was a big step for her.  
  
This newfound confession had been changed our relationship for the better. All aspects of our relationship for the better. I could now officially say that I was making love to Mickey and not just having sex with her or sleeping with her. It was great.  
  
I was holding onto the headboard with Mickey below me, still thinking about how lucky I was. Every touch and every taste had such a deeper meaning to it now. Nothing could bring me down.  
  
Well, nothing except for the man who opened the door to ask his daughter what she wanted for dinner.  
  
I nearly had a heart attack and jumped off Mickey as quickly as I possibly could. Mickey covered herself with the blanket while I was left to my own defenses and couldn’t do anything but hide as much of myself as I could with my hands. My eyes were wide and I was expecting him to scream at me to get out. This wasn’t the first time I had had a father walk in on me and his daughter.  
  
But Mickey’s dad didn’t yell, he didn’t try to attack me. He sighed and shook his head before walking out. To be honest, that was a bigger shock than him even walking in in the first place. I was already coming to terms that I would never see Mickey again, maybe never even see daylight again. But I was fine.  
  
“Ah, shit,” Mickey grumbled and got up, wrapping the blanket around herself properly.  
  
“I thought you said your dad was at work!” I stammered, still cupping my hands around my crotch even though it was just me and Mickey now.  
  
She nodded. “Well, obviously not anymore.”  
  
Before I could get out another word, she left the room and closed the door behind herself. I was left naked and alone in her bed, my hands still in place. What had first made me feel glad, was now starting to make panic settle. What if Mickey’s dad just acted calm? What if he actually hated me now? What if he was going to kill me the next time he saw me? It was quite possible that he was trying to trick me just so I’d come over another time and he’d be able to strike.  
  
I had to get out of there.  
  
I scrambled off the bed and collected all of my clothes that had been tossed on the floor just a while before. My boxers went on immediately, it didn’t matter what we had been doing before. This was a life or death situation. I quickly followed with my jeans and t-shirt. Once my shoes and hoodie were on, I started looking for an escape route.  
  
Luckily, I was in Mickey’s room. She’d sneaked out of here many times. I opened the curtains and saw Rian standing in his own room. He hadn’t noticed me yet, so I opened the window and tried to climb out. The backpack on my bag wasn’t making things very easy. I was snagging on something and I must have been looking like a hot mess with just one leg hanging out.  
  
I swore under my breath and went back in, deciding Mickey’s method was probably going to work better. She always threw her bag out first. I took off the backpack and got ready to swing it out before following myself. As I turned to the window, I now saw Rian pointing at me and beckoning me to come over.  
  
“Are you okay?” Mickey laughed as she came back in her room.  
  
“Yeah,” I nodded and finally decided to straighten out my shirt a little more, “I should leave.”  
  
“Okay,” she continued to chuckle and dropped her blanket.  
  
I went for the window again. How difficult could it be? I had climbed over to Mickey’s parents’ bedroom before. This was just doing the opposite. It shouldn’t be too much of a hassle. Getting down from the roof would be the most difficult part.  
  
Mickey laughed again, “why are you going through the window?”  
  
“To go to Rian’s…” I told her, looking outside again and seeing Rian becoming impatient. Zack and Jack had also arrived now, just leaving Zack’s car.  
  
“Alright… you know you can use the front door, right?”  
  
“After what just happened?” I snorted and tried to gesture to Rian to calm down. He was so afraid I’d just stay at Mickey’s instead of coming over to practice.  
  
“Okay, hang on,” Mickey huffed and pushed me out of the way. She stuck her head out of the window despite being fully naked. Her chest wasn’t even inside anymore, but she didn’t care one bit. Instead, she just brought more attention to herself by shouting, “yo! Calm your tits, he’ll be over in like two seconds.”  
  
I didn’t have the time to stop Mickey from doing it, but I did get to see everybody’s reactions. Rian slapped a hand over his eyes and ran away from the window. Zack tried to look anywhere but at Mickey. Jack was staring right at her with his mouth agape. And me? Well, I was mortified.  
  
“Mickey!” I hissed under my breath and pulled her back inside, closing the curtains with one harsh tug. “Everybody just saw your boobs.”  
  
“So what?” She shrugged and looked down, pushing them up a little with her hands and letting them drop back down. “They’re just bags of fat.”  
  
“Bags of fat that get guys turned on.”  
  
“If I recall correctly, you’re more of an ass guy,” she smirked.  
  
I gave her a look that hopefully said it all. It wasn’t what I meant. I mean, yes, she was right. But it wasn’t what I meant at all. I didn’t have the right to control what she did, but I didn’t particularly enjoy the thought of my best friends fantasising about my girlfriend. Once again, I couldn’t technically stop it, but she didn’t need to instigate it.  
  
“Okay, okay.” She held up her hands in defense. “Now go before Rian makes a miserable attempt at getting mad at me. Go through the front door.”  
  
“Your dad will murder me,” I expressed my concern, but put my backpack back on. To be fair, I couldn’t sustain any injuries today, the window wasn’t a great idea.  
  
“No, he won’t,” she urged and went over to her closet. She didn’t pull out clothing, though. Instead, she bent over and grabbed a box. “Now, go, I’ve got stuff to do.”  
  
Once I saw what she was holding, I gasped, “really? I am right here.”  
  
“Yes, but you have to leave and I’m horny,” she retorted and pointed the dildo at me.  
  
“That’s unfair!”  
  
“No, it’s not. You’re the one that has to go prepare for your concert. It’s not my fault. If it were up to me, I’d let you take me in the shower right now.”  
  
My heart rate started picking up. Oh, how badly I wanted to stay, especially with what she was doing to me. Who cared if I was late to band practice? They could wait. But I couldn’t stay. “Your dad will kill me.”  
  
“Okay, so leave.” She shrugged and went over to her bed.  
  
“Now you are killing me,” I groaned. Part of me just wanted us to get in my car so I could drive somewhere secluded.  
  
She sighed loudly and crossed her arms, not making it any easier on me. “Decide. _Now_. You’re getting me out of the mood. I’ll be fine either way.”  
  
I stood there considering both my options. Sex meant having double the chance at getting murdered, both by her dad and my friends. But it did mean sex, which canceled out the consequences. Or I could go practice and feel a lot more confident at our concert. It was quite the difficult ultimatum. Sex or music?  
  
“Fine,” I huffed and reluctantly left her room, “but you owe me one.”  
  
“Don’t worry, you’re getting a free blowjob card that you can redeem anytime,” she said and closed her door.  
  
A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about what she would be doing in there. I tried to push it out of my mind for the time being, but I knew for sure that it would be coming back. First, I needed to leave this house in one piece. Preferably able to see Mickey again. Part of me hoped that her dad would be in the small room used as an office. But, no, he was just chilling in the living room as if waiting for me.  
  
“I– I’m sorry, Mr. Kingsley,” I quickly apologised before he had any more of a reason to get mad at me.  
  
His eyes fell on me and he breathed in deeply. “I know what stuff she gets into. It’s just not very… _pleasant_ … to walk in on.”  
  
“I know, I’m sorry,” I repeated again, feeling very awkward just standing there. “But I love your daughter, and I swear I’m not just saying that to hopefully make you hate me a little less.”  
  
He seemed to relax a little bit, which I saw as a good sign. “I don’t hate you, Alex. Just be a bit more careful next time. Put a sock on the door or something.”  
  
I laughed softly, feeling very relieved. Maybe the fact that Mickey used to do a lot worse really helped me in this situation. “Will do.”  
  
I started to leave the house but froze as I got to the front door. “Hey, Mr. Kingsley, do you mind if I leave my car on your driveway for the time being or should I move it over to Rian’s?”  
  
“You can leave it here for now, just make sure it’s gone before three a.m.”  
  
“Okay, thanks.”  
  
I walked over to Rian’s house and let myself in. The others were already downstairs, I could hear them screaming at each other. I quickly said hi to Ms. Kathi and went down to meet up with my friends.  
  
“Look, he’s finally here!” Rian announced as I threw my bag on the floor and let myself fall onto the couch.  
  
“Oh, shut up,” I rolled my eyes. I was only seven minutes late. “I was talking to Mickey’s dad. I can’t just walk away from that.”  
  
“And that’s why Mickey was naked yelling through her window. Makes sense,” Jack nodded and decided to annoy me by making himself comfortable on top of me.  
  
“That’s just Mickey for you,” I sighed, shifting my weight a little so Jack wouldn’t crush me.  
  
“Oh, _dude_!” Jack suddenly yelped, slamming his fists against my chest and sitting up. “Don’t be getting a boner underneath me!”  
  
“Fuck off,” I whined and pushed him off. “I’ve got an excuse.”  
  
“We all saw Mickey’s boobs, we should all be having boners now then,” he retorted, immediately assuming that that was what I was referring to. “What do they feel like.”  
  
“Can you guys not!” Rian interrupted, sounding very disgusted from behind his drums. “Zack, back me up here.”  
  
“I mean…” Zack mumbled. “She’s not bad looking.”  
  
“So, tell us what they feel like!” Jack urged, glad that somebody was on his side.  
  
I was about to answer. They did feel great in my hands and I had given them details about girls before. But I caught myself. “Guys! Fuck off! That’s not even why I’ve got a boner.”  
  
“So, you’re admitting you’ve got one,” Zack tried to joke.  
  
“I mean…” I looked down at my jeans. What used to be normal sized and not deemed inappropriate in public spaces, had now grown quite a bit. “Quite obvious, isn’t it?”  
  
“Awe, Lexy,” Jack pouted and put a hand on my thigh from where he was sitting on the floor, “did I turn you on?”  
  
I glared at him and sat up while pushing his limb away. “No, Mickey’s dad walked in on us, I never got to… ya know.”  
  
“Blow your load,” Jack finished my sentence.  
  
“If that’s how you wanna put it. Can we just practice now?”  
  
“Yes,” Rian quickly answered.  
  
“Thank you.” I picked up my guitar and went to stand at the microphone.  
  
Talking about Mickey or my situation wasn’t going to help at all. But, just like I thought, all I could think about was what Mickey was doing up in that room of her’s. It was a great picture to have, but not while I was trying to sing and play the guitar at the same time. Thinking about three things was just a little too much for me to handle in one go.


	63. Chapter Sixty-three: Apply Pressure to the Wound

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
My mom had the evening shift again. However, I wasn’t going to be home alone either. No, Rian hadn’t been called to ‘babysit’ me again, he wasn’t asked to do that anymore. That extra little pocket money he had been earning was now replaced with being my friend. Also, Alex wasn’t over. He was a little wary about that ever since my dad walked in. My dad, however, had decided to come home early to spend more time with me.  
  
We hadn’t properly done that in ages.  
  
Obviously, we were pretty close, otherwise I wouldn’t have taken his last name, but the past few years I was more preoccupied with sneaking out. Recently, I had been more focused on fixing my relationship with my mom, which had been going great. I just wanted all that to be good before I had to leave and figure out my life on my own.  
  
You see, surprisingly I had actually applied to colleges despite my horrible GPA. Being a stripper didn’t exactly seem like the best plan anymore. There definitely wasn’t much I could do. I knew I probably wouldn’t even get a second glance at most places. Also, I had never given it much thought before, so I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I was good at math now, but that seemed like something you’d need a good record for. What was the point in not trying, though? My expectations were already very low, I couldn’t be disappointed.  
  
I really was trying to turn my life around and put everything else behind. Things were different now. I could be better for myself and the people around me. I had my parents, I had my friends, I had Alex. Things were looking to be so much better.  
  
Or at least so I hoped, of course.  
  
My dad and I were just watching a movie together on the TV. There wasn’t much else to do, really. We could have gone out to do something, but there wasn’t anything we particularly wanted to do. Going out to dinner was just a bit too tiring as well. All we wanted was to spend time together, it didn’t have to be anything fancy.  
  
Once the end credits showed up on the screen, I turned my head to look at my dad. We were both on the same couch. He was sitting facing forward, his arm up on the backrest, while I had my legs up and back against the armrest with a blanket draped over me. The perfect father daughter bonding moment.  
  
“Is it time to make some dinner yet?” my dad asked as he reached out for the remote.  
  
“I dunno,” I shrugged, putting my hands up and stretching out my back.  
  
“Let’s put it this way, are you hungry?” he reworded his question.  
  
“Not really, but that will probably change if we make food.”  
  
He nodded in approval and got up to go to the kitchen. I started following him, but stopped in my tracks when I heard a noise. It wasn’t all too loud, but it wasn’t something you’d usually hear in our street. Or, at least not anymore.  
  
Somewhere in the distance, I heard a low rumbling. It got closer and closer. My dad didn’t even seem to notice it, but it had me on edge. I recognised it a little too well. A shiver was sent up my spine, a near carbon copy of the loud deep motor. I was praying that I was just overreacting, that is was just some vehicle passing through. The sound just kept getting louder and slower. My heart skipped a beat when I could hear the sound come up our driveway. Eventually, the engine cut off and a click sounded as a stand was put down.  
  
“Did you invite any friends over?” my dad frowned, now also turned to the front door.  
  
I shook my head. “No.” But I knew exactly who it was.  
  
And it wasn’t good.  
  
The doorbell rang once and my dad went to open it. I held out my arm to stop him, not daring to say a word. Our presence could not be known. Before he could ask me what I was doing, the person seeking attention outside already started getting impatient. Instead of ringing the doorbell again, which was unnecessary anyway so soon again, there was a loud pounding at the door. It didn’t even start as a knock.  
  
“Mickey, you _fucking_ bitch!” The loud male voice boomed from the other side of the door. All I needed to hear was his voice to know one-hundred-percent that it was Devon.  
  
Now I knew for sure that we didn’t want him to know that we were home. My dad was looking at me with disbelief in his eyes. I was hoping that Devon would just take a hint and leave. But he started pounding at the door again, making me jump.  
  
“We need to hide,” I told my dad in a hushed tone, “somewhere where he can’t see us through windows.”  
  
“What’s going on?” He asked me, but kept his voice down since I was doing it as well.  
  
I just grabbed his arm as I sneaked into the kitchen and made him crouch down with me. It wasn’t the perfect cover, but it was better than standing in the middle of the living room. Since there was still a window in the kitchen, I shuffled us up against the counters on that side of the wall. If we were lucky, he wouldn’t be able to see all the way to the floor from there.  
  
“Mickey!” My dad almost seethed at me as Devon started yelling again. “Who the hell is that?”  
  
“He’s my ex-boyfriend,” I answered, leaning forward to take a better look at the door because the pounding wouldn’t stop.  
  
“Are you serious!”  
  
“I didn’t know he’d be this insane! I broke up with him because he did some bad stuff, but I didn’t think he’d actually be out to get people.”  
  
“We need to call nine-one-one.”  
  
“No!” I stopped him before he could try to reach out for the landline hanging on the wall. “Don’t move.” I pulled out my mobile phone. “I’ve got a direct contact, he’s been wanted for a while, I was helping with the investigation.”  
  
“No, we’ve got to call nine-one-one,” he urged as he watched me use the down button to scroll through my contacts.  
  
“They don’t know who he is. Trust me, these people will be here in no time and will bring the right people to deal with this.”  
  
Before he could stop me, I called the number of the detectives and officers that I had helped before by giving statements. They had told me to call whenever I found out something. I never heard a thing about Devon again. Well, that was until now. Of course, there was a chance that they wouldn’t answer my call or wouldn’t answer in time. The probability was very high actually, since I hadn’t contacted them before. Why would they answer my call?  
  
The dial tone sounded four times, making me believe I had chosen the wrong people to call. Maybe 911 was the better choice. The thunder from our door was just getting louder and louder and Devon’s profanities were getting more and more explicit. Just as I was about to end the call, somebody picked up. I told them all I could as quickly and quietly as possible. It included my name, my location, and what the fuck Devon was doing.  
  
They said they’d be there as quickly as possible and to hide away. How quickly they would come, I did not know.  
  
As soon as I hung up the phone, the pounding at the door stopped. It almost seemed like he was going to leave, like he gave up. We had been sitting here for a few minutes and I wanted nothing more than for him to disappear, so I almost believed it. But I couldn’t hear his motorcycle start up.  
  
“Did he leave?” My dad said after a few seconds of silence.  
  
I shook my head. “No.”  
  
But I still got up. I had been in situations worse than this before and I would be damned if I let Devon fuck up my parents’ house. I stayed crouched but ran over to the couch and hid behind it. It was much more exposed, but here I could peak through the window to the front door. I put my phone beside me and shuffled over to the window. My fingers curled around the fabric of the curtains and pushed it to the side. He wasn’t there anymore. But he had to be somewhere.  
  
As if he had been waiting for me to check, the back door started shaking and the shouting started again. My heart started racing. The front door could deal with some beating up, but the back door definitely couldn’t. It wouldn’t just collapse, but Devon’s fists were rattling the glass and the hinges.  
  
“He’s going to break down the door,” I warned my dad with a whisper I was afraid would be too loud.  
  
He looked over at me, around the counters. “Mickey, you need to get somewhere safe. Run to Rian’s.”  
  
I shook my head in refusal and flinched when the door made a loud cracking noise. I wouldn’t leave him alone here. This was my fault. “We should go upstairs and hide there.”  
  
“Mickey–”  
  
“You go first,” I instructed. I wanted him to have the chance to go up and be safe. Then, if Devon managed to get in before we got upstairs, I could distract him.  
  
This time, my dad absolutely disagreed. “No, you go, I’ll be right behind you.”  
  
“Go.”  
  
My dad glared at me, but I wouldn't move. I needed him to go first. Devon was only getting more and more aggressive, calling me a bitch and yelling that he would kill me. There was no bluff behind his voice. Once my dad noticed that I wouldn't budge, he finally got up and started running. But he didn’t go up the stairs. No, he came to me.  
  
“Mickey, go,” he urged he grabbed me by the shoulders and started forcing me in the direction of the stairs.  
  
There was no time to bicker and argue. I stared back in his eyes, seeing nothing but concern in them. Not even a hint of fear was hidden. I wasn’t going to leave him behind. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him. This was my mess. He wasn’t supposed to be part of it, he wasn’t supposed to be affected. I had fucked up a lot in my life, but he didn’t deserve this. He showed me what a father was supposed to be like, he did nothing but take care of me and love me since the day he met me. And this was how I was repaying him. It was fucked up.  
  
I grabbed his arm again and dragged him with me, keeping him close. Somehow, I managed to rush up the stairs with him in tow without tripping over. I actually was glad that I was the first to go now. I realised I never even told my dad where to hide. We had to go as far away in the house as possible. The problem was that all the rooms were attached to the hallway.  
  
My room was closest to the stairs, so it was the first room that would be checked by Devon. The bathroom had no lock ever since my birthday, which I understood but was definitely a problem now. So, I continued into my parents’ bedroom and shut the door. As soon as our door was closed, I could hear the one downstairs breaking and slamming against a wall. Panic set in as I continued into the ensuite bathroom. I didn’t think twice to lock that door.  
  
In no time, heavy footsteps came up the stairs.  
  
“Get behind me,” my dad told me as he tried to push me against the wall and cover me with his body so Devon wouldn’t get to me.  
  
But I wouldn’t have any of it. I was here to protect him.  
  
“Mickey, you bitch!” Devon growled again, this time in my parents room. “I know you’re fucking in there. You backstabbing slut!”  
  
I put my finger to my lips to show that we really had to be quiet now. We couldn’t even move. Still, my dad continued to try to push me behind him, especially when the doorknob jiggled. Devon was silent when he found the bathroom locked. He couldn’t be thinking anything other than that we were hiding in there. I wasn’t necessarily religious, but I found myself praying just in case there was something out there.  
  
As if my prayers were answered, I heard sirens approaching. They were here to help us, and it was just in time.  
  
Devon, however, wasn’t as glad to hear the sweet sound. “Are you kidding me! You fucking bitch! You will fucking pay for this!”  
  
But I wasn’t too worried. Help was just seconds away. But Devon was mad, he was really mad. He started stomping at the doorknob to open the door. If he managed to get through the backdoor, then this was nothing. All that was keeping him away from us was a piece of cardboard.  
  
I tried to keep my dad safe while he kept trying to cover me. It was a constant battle of life and death between the two of us. I was ready to take a bullet for him. He didn’t deserve to get hurt. I knew I was younger, that I technically still had a life ahead of me. But I had done so much shit. There wasn’t much of a future left.  
  
Bullets started going through the door around the lock, clinking loudly onto the floor. All that was needed was one harsh kick and the door slammed open. Devon was standing in the doorway, a gun pointed at us. He screamed one last thing at me, but I didn’t hear it. My ears were ringing after he pulled the trigger again, sending the bullet flying through the air and into flesh. There was blood and so much pain.  
  
I could hear shouting coming from officers downstairs, but it was too late.  
  
Pressure had to be applied to the wound pooling blood.


	64. Chapter Sixty-four: Purple River on My Pillow

**Alex’s POV:**  
  
I ran my fingers through the deep purple hair on my pillow. There was nothing but extreme guilt coursing through me. Here I was, laying in bed in my boxers at three in the morning, wide awake. The girl next to me was sleeping, and I had no idea what to do. The shame and responsibility was way too overwhelming.  
  
Mickey didn’t deserve any of this.  
  
 _We were at Rian’s for band practice when it happened. It was the usual banter, the usual messing around, and the usual practicing. However, things quickly changed. We were joking and teasing Rian after he kept fucking up. He would get so defensive, and it would crack us up. We all made mistakes, but the reaction made it worth it.  
  
I was literally laughing through the microphone when Ms. Kathi came running down into the basement.  
  
“Shut that thing off,” she scolded with much urgency.  
  
“What? I was just laughing!” I was quick to defend myself. “There was no swearing!”  
  
“Turn all of this off,” she repeated, looking at all of us with a stern look. “Now!”  
  
“Mom!” Rian whined with embarrassment.  
  
She glared right at him to show she wasn’t messing around. “There’s a guy with a loaded gun on our street. I just got a call from the police. We need to hide.”  
  
That got us all to switch our moods immediately. Our instruments were put on the floor and the amps were turned off. Ms. Kathi beckoned for us to follow her into the corner behind the couch, as far away and as sheltered as possible from the stairs into the basement.  
  
“Wait, mom,” Rian spoke up in a whisper after many long moments of silence, “you said you got a phone call. Why would the police call to warn us? Are you sure it wasn’t a prank call?”  
  
“Yes,” she nodded and tried to shut him up, “I’m sure.”  
  
“How do you know?” He seemed so out of character. It was honestly like he didn’t believe it one bit.  
  
Ms. Kathi stayed quiet for a few beats as if contemplating what to say. Her eyes scanned the room and fell on me. When she saw I was looking back at her, she quickly looked away. And then she sighed, shaking her head. “Mickey called the police and asked to warn us.”  
  
“Wait, Mickey called them?” Jack seemed surprised, but kept the noise to a minimal level.  
  
And that was when panic properly set in for me. For a second, I had completely forgotten about Mickey. I was too preoccupied keeping myself safe, I forgot that she lived across the street. She could have been in serious trouble. Everything in me was praying she just happened to see the guy out on the road, and that it was nothing more serious than that.  
  
I shifted a little so I could pull my phone out of my back pocket. “I need to call her, make sure she’s okay.”  
  
However, before I could start pressing buttons, Zack, who was next to me, reach out and put his hand over the phone. “You’re going to make noise!”  
  
“I need to call her,” I repeated and shrugged him off.  
  
I quickly found her contact and dialed it. Her phone was definitely on, the dial tones kept ringing. But she never answered. I was sent to voicemail. As soon as the automated voice started, I hung up and tried calling again. Maybe she just barely missed the call. However, it just rang and rang again. My heart dropped.  
  
I started to get up, my mind just on Mickey and nothing else. “I need to make sure she’s safe.”  
  
“Alex!” Jack seethed and pulled me down by my shirt. “You’re going to get us all killed!”  
  
I tried to move again, but this time Ms. Kathi stopped me. “He’s right Alex. Sit and be quiet.”  
  
So, I did as I was told. It wasn’t because Ms. Kathi was so insistent, but because they were all right. If I got up and left this house, the guy out there would know others were in here. Even if I went up to Rian’s room to see if Mickey was in her room, the guy could coincidentally look up and see me. They were completely right.  
  
Until I heard gunshots.  
  
Everybody held their breath out of fear. But I was entering fight or flight mode, and goddammit, I wouldn’t bear it if Mickey got hurt. I couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. She was stronger and more daring than me, but she wasn’t immune to bullets either.  
  
I stood up and ran up to the door, ignoring the protesting whispers from everybody else. There was no way they could keep me there unless they could make Mickey appear with us in the basement. Magic didn’t exist, so I rushed out the front door.  
  
There were flashing lights from cop cars and ambulances. A herd of officers were stood outside securing the place. Mickey’s front door was open wide. I wanted to run in, but a stretcher was already being dragged out. An officer was coming up to me, probably to tell me to stay away. However, my eyes were already on Mickey.  
  
“Mickey!” I yelled out.  
  
She didn’t even look in my direction. Her entire body was covered in blood, making my heart drop. She wouldn’t look up from her hands that were covered in the red glistening substance as she followed the paramedics carrying the stretcher with her dad on it. I wanted to run after her into that ambulance, but there were too many obstacles that would stop me. The ambulance sped away, it’s sirens on yet again. Just seconds later, the cop car with Devon in the back drove past me.  
  
He was glaring at me._  
  
I had no idea how Mickey didn’t have nightmares after that. She hadn’t been at home for over a week now. Ms. Kathi had offered to take her in while her mom was busy working and keeping her dad company in the hospital. However, Mickey didn’t want to go back to her street and see her house everyday. Instead, my mom stepped in and Mickey got to stay with us until her dad was released.  
  
He survived the gunshot, but was put in a medically induced coma for a few days. They had to do an emergency surgery on him as soon as they entered the hospital. I wasn’t there with her, but she had to witness them take him into surgery. The only thing I could do was drive to the hospital later that evening to take her to my house.  
  
She really did try to act like everything was okay. The next day, she came to school with me, she had purposely forgotten her books in her locker, just like always. But I could tell something was off. She was much more quiet during lunch. It wasn't the stubborn sort of quiet, when she refused to talk. It was more like a deep-in-thought sort of quiet. She wasn’t the person to be deep in thought, she said what was on her mind, no matter how hurtful it was.  
  
But that was the only thing that showed that she had been affected until one day. She had just gone to the bathroom, taking much longer than usual. I didn’t think too much about it, just letting her do whatever she needed. But then she came back with tears in her eyes and her hair a mess. It had obviously been tugged on harshly.  
  
She asked me to help her dye her hair another colour as the tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t stand the red anymore. It reminded her too much of everything she saw. She had never been fazed by the blood she saw. If it was her own, she shrugged it off, and would bandage it up. But now that it had been her dads, it was a complete different story.  
  
Because the red had stained her hair so bad, there weren’t many colours she could choose from. But she knew everything about hair dying much better than I did. She ended up going with a very blue purple so she’d get a more warm purple when it mixed with the red already in her hair. It turned out great, exactly the way she wanted it to. She had a nice even dark purple. I did miss my firetruck-red girl, though.  
  
It seemed like I would be up more often at night than she was. I had this constant urgency in the back of my head, making sure I would protect her no matter what. It was like I had this alarm clock in my head, reminding me to be awake in case Mickey ever did have a nightmare. I didn’t want her to have to go through it by herself, just like she had to do back in the hospital. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore.  
  
Mickey breathed out heavily in her sleep and threw an arm over me. “Can you please go to sleep? You keep waking me up.”  
  
“Sorry,” I whispered back and laid down properly.  
  
She shuffled herself closer to me while lying on her stomach and left her one arm draped over me. I felt my heart glow as she put her head on my shoulder, pressed a short kiss to my neck, and tried to go back to sleep. It was almost like she was the one trying to comfort me.  
  
“I love you,” I told her, pressing my nose into her hair.  
  
She just hummed in response and fell asleep.


	65. Chapter Sixty-five: Final Decision

**Mickey’s POV:**  
  
I never particularly liked holidays. Christmas was cold, New Year’s Eve was just the start of another year, Halloween was an excuse to get drunk, my birthday was always a shitfest, and Valentine’s day just didn’t exist in my book. The 14th of February had never meant anything to me. Granted, I had never been in a proper relationship before, but even now it wasn’t a day of any significance.  
  
It didn’t make sense how people thought a day like this was necessary. Really, all it did was create unrealistic expectations. Everybody would just spend a ridiculous amount of money to prove that their love was valid. And then, as soon as their significant other didn’t make the grandest of romantic gestures, they’d get upset and find a reason why their relationship was a scam. No, it was just Valentine’s day that was a scam.  
  
I made it very clear to Alex that I didn’t want him to do anything.  
  
He didn’t really like the idea of doing nothing, but I managed to convince him. At first, he tried to compromise. He said he wouldn’t do anything, as long as he got to take me out to dinner. I refused. Then he tried to play it off as just something he wanted to do regardless of whether it was Valentine’s day or not. It was the biggest bullshit I had heard. We never went out for dinner. It just wasn’t something we did. Eventually, Alex gave in and said he wouldn’t do anything.  
  
So, that Valentine’s day, I was hanging out on my bed by myself with my music blasting and a sketchbook on my lap. It was just a normal Tuesday afternoon. Well, this was a normal Tuesday afternoon to me now. There was no mischief to get into and I didn’t have a shift at Rita’s even though Jack tried to get me to cover for him. You can bet your ass that I didn’t agree to that. I had taken way too many of his shifts before.  
  
You see, the reason why Jack asked me to take his shift this time was because he had some record label meeting to go to with the others. The boys had been trying to get signed for a while now. They literally did everything to get recognised. They played shows frequently, growing a fanbase, and they contacted as many record labels as possible. The last thing I heard was that some representative came to a show, but they never heard anything back. And now, they were at some meeting with another label. I was quite out of the loop despite the fact that Alex used to tell me a lot.  
  
So, while Alex was out trying to chase his dreams, I was just chilling on bed. I didn’t really have a dream. I always just assumed that I was going to drop out and become a stripper or something to live a life full of drugs and alcohol. But now I was so close to graduating, I had applied to universities and colleges, and I even had the possibility of doing a tattoo apprenticeship. Some guy once came into Rita’s and told me he liked the tattoos on my arms before asking where I got them. Once I told him I designed them myself and got them done in several places, he gave me his card. It was a legit place and a legit offer.  
  
But I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.  
  
My hair was still purple and my dad was still at the hospital. I stayed with Alex for a while, which is where I found out about the meeting. He wasn’t the one that told me. His mom just casually brought it up trying to figure out the logistics while we were in the kitchen one morning. I didn’t get to hear much, but at least I knew it was happening.  
  
I was back at home now though. Despite my dad still being in the hospital, my mom now came back home as well since he was doing much better. The door in their bathroom had been replaced and there was this constant sense of being on guard. But Devon was locked up in jail. He wasn’t coming back any time soon. I wasn’t afraid to be home alone. Usually I’d go to the hospital after school and bring my mom back home with me, but she was staying that evening. It was Valentine’s day after all.  
  
My CD was coming to an end when the doorbell rang. I huffed out a breath and put my sketchbook and pen to the side. When my eyes landed on the clock flashing six in the evening, I got even more annoyed. Something in me wouldn’t put it past Alex to decide to take me out for dinner anyway as a ‘surprise’. I seriously did not want to go out. My hair was already up in a messy bun and I wasn’t going to switch out of my t-shirt and black ripped jeans. It just wasn’t happening.  
  
But even if it was Alex, I couldn’t just leave him standing outside.  
  
So, up I got. Begrudgingly, might I add. I walked downstairs, ready to tell Alex that I really wasn’t up for a Valentine’s date, that he could take Jack or something. However, once I opened the front door, it wasn’t Alex trying to get my attention. It was Rian.  
  
“Oh.” I was actually shocked to see that it wasn’t Alex.  
  
“Well you seem disappointed to see me.” Rian crossed his arms and let out a heavy breath.  
  
“No, I just didn’t expect you.” I shrugged and leaned against the door. For some reason he was here instead of with his girlfriend on this beautiful Valentine’s day.  
  
He raised an eyebrow. “Expecting somebody else?”  
  
“No…” I mumbled and eyed him. I missed awkward Rian who wouldn’t act like he could challenge everything I said.  
  
“Great, I’m lower than your non-existent expectations,” he rolled his eyes.  
  
“Are you here to complain or are you actually here for a reason?” I pushed. It was good that Rian was standing up for himself, but I really missed the time when anything I said would get him to shut up.  
  
Suddenly, he lit up, remembering why he came here in the first place. “Yeah! I just wanted to talk. You know, since you’ve been giving me advice and shit. I just came back from the meeting with Hopeless.”  
  
“Hopeless?” I inquired. Was he trying to say that the meeting went bad and that he thought the band was hopeless? I was not up for giving him another pep talk. I had said all that I could. If he wanted to mope again, then I couldn’t do anything about it.  
  
“Hopeless Records,” he clarified with excitement, “the record label!”  
  
“Oh!” I nodded, sensing that things went well. “How did the meeting go?”  
  
“Great!” He grinned and started to tell me all about it. “We went in, they were excited to see us, we signed the contract–”  
  
I interrupted in confusion, “contract?”  
  
“Yeah, the record deal,” he explained like I was already supposed to know about it. “Anyway–”  
  
“Hang on, hang on,” I stopped him to backtrack a little, “record deal? Already?”  
  
He just chuckled awkwardly. “We’ve been in contact with them for a bit. The whole reason we were having a meeting was to sign the record deal.”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
“Didn’t you know?” His eyes widened when he realised what was going on and he took a step back.  
  
“No…” I shook my head, wondering what the fuck was going on with Alex not telling me anything. “I only found out about this meeting through Alex's mom.”  
  
“He must’ve told you. He couldn’t wait to tell you when they first expressed interest a few weeks ago!”  
  
I tried to think back over the past few weeks to see if Alex had told me and I had just forgotten or not listened properly. But I couldn’t recall a moment where he tried to tell me something like this. He had mainly just been silent when we were on his bed and he rarely spoke about anything other than things that happened at school during dinner with his parents. All this time, he had been keeping it from me.  
  
I frowned and grabbed my keys from the small dresser at our door. “Alright, where is he now?”  
  
“Ummm…”  
  
“Calm down, I just want to congratulate him,” I sighed and pushed Rian away from the door so I could step out myself. “By the way, congrats.”  
  
“Thanks!” Rian smiled, stepping away himself so I could close and lock the front door without needing to force him away. “Aren’t you going to see him today? It’s Valentine’s day.”  
  
“Nope, I told him I didn’t want anything to do with this shitty holiday,” I told him before unlocking my car, still waiting for an answer.  
  
“Oh, well, he’s at Jack’s right now.”  
  
“Okay, great, thanks.” I opened my front door but stopped myself and turned to Rian one last time. “And, Ri, you made the right decision. You’re not going to regret it. You’re a good drummer.”  
  
“Thanks, Mickey.” He beamed.  
  
“No problem,” I mumbled and got into my car before driving away.  
  
I was confused during the entire journey over to Jack’s. I felt like I had done something wrong. The whole time, I was trying to relive every moment I had had with Alex. Part of me thought he never even mentioned a record label reaching out, but another part of me was worried that I had completely neglected him when he did tell me. I had been pretty preoccupied with my own thoughts.  
  
When I approached Jack’s house, I saw Alex’s car out on the driveway. I parked my own car on the street and rang the doorbell soon after. It took a bit for somebody to show up, but eventually Jack’s mom opened the door.  
  
“Hey, Mrs. Barakat,” I started with what I hoped was a smile, “is Alex here?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s upstairs with Jack,” she answered. “Would you like to come in?”  
  
“Oh, umm,” I rubbed the back of my neck in uncertainty, “actually, I can’t stay long. Maybe he can come out here? I just need to talk to him for a second.”  
  
“Okay,” she agreed and went back inside and to the stairs. “Jack! Send Alex down, Mickey’s here for him!”  
  
After a few seconds, footsteps came thundering down the stairs. Alex came up to me, a little puzzled by the fact that I came all the way to Jack’s just to see him. Joyce gave us some privacy and closed the door, only leaving it ajar so Alex could come back in later.  
  
Alex’s first instinct was lightly touch my hips and kiss me tenderly. “Happy Valentine’s day.”  
  
When he pulled away, I gave him a look to remind him what I had said about this day. “That’s not why I’m here.”  
  
“Alright,” he removed his hands from my body and stuffed them in his front pockets instead, “what’s up?”  
  
I was a little upset that he decided to take a step away from me, but it was probably for the best in the end. “I just wanted to say congrats.”  
  
“Oh.” He nodded, a little shocked that those words came out of my mouth.  
  
“Yeah, you know… on the record deal and stuff…” I added awkwardly, feeling that vibe coming from Alex.  
  
“Thanks,” he gave me a lop-sided grin.  
  
“It seems… exciting…?” I cringed at my own words and let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m bad at being supportive.”  
  
“No, it’s okay,” he quickly told me, his own mask of awkwardness melting away, “it’s the thought that counts.”  
  
With that confirmation I put my hands on his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips. I wasn’t too great with words, but I could do this just fine. Alex kissed me back and returned his touch to my body, this time to the small of my back. He pulled me closer and the kiss deepened. I dropped my own hands to his shoulders for better support. I really felt bad for Joyce and Jack that we were making out on their front lawn. But, honestly, it was their problem if they were watching us.  
  
When I felt Alex’s hand slowly travel down to my ass, I pulled away carefully.  
  
“Just one thing…” I whispered, looking down at his chest. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going insane. “Why didn’t I know anything about this?”  
  
He paused for a second, looking over me and into the distance. “What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean, why did I have to find out you got a record deal from Rian?” I looked up at him. Something told me it wasn’t just me being forgetful. “Why didn’t I know that somebody was willing to sign you?”  
  
“You knew about the meeting,” he shrugged like I was supposed to know.  
  
“Only after your mom casually mentioned it in conversation.” I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to be in this embrace anymore. “I didn’t know you were actually signing a contract today. I wasn’t told anything.”  
  
“I didn’t think you wanted to know.”  
  
“Didn’t think I wanted to know?” I repeated with a frown, dropping my hands to my side. Alex still held on to me, though. “Alex, I drove you around on your tour, I’ve been to every single one of your shows since we got together, I’ve talked to record label representatives at those shows to convince them that they should sign you. I know I’m not the most expressive person, but don’t act like I wasn’t there and wasn’t interested.”  
  
“I know, I know…” he sighed and tried to bring me closer.  
  
I refused to move and take that step, though. “So, why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
“Because…” he looked down at our feet and finally let go of me. “Because you were busy with your dad and I didn’t want to push myself in there.”  
  
“Since when don’t you push yourself into my life? I could have used some good news, you know how bad I felt.”  
  
He took in a deep breath and decided to go on the defense. “You were upset about your dad and stressed about universities. I didn’t want to add more stress to that!”  
  
“How would your record deal stress me out?” I crossed my arms. We were fighting and there was no way to back out now. I wasn’t going to let Alex win this one, he was in the wrong for not telling me.  
  
He stared back at me. “I mean… I didn’t want you stressing about our future as well. You are so unsure about everything, I didn’t want you to worry about us.”  
  
 _“Our_ future?” I glared at him. Was he being serious right now?  
  
“Yeah, I wanted you to figure out your shit before you considered what I was going to do.”  
  
“The fuck, Alex?!”’ I shouted. _“Really?!”_  
  
He raised his voice back at me. “I was just trying to make things easier!”  
  
“You’re such a fucking narcissist! You think my life revolves around you. You’ve gotta check yourself.”  
  
“I just wanted to make sure you put yourself ahead of me and not follow me out somewhere.” He still thought that what he had done was right. “I was doing it for you!”  
  
I didn’t even care that he hadn’t told me about the record deal anymore. This was so much bigger than that. “Fucking hell. You think I would base my life decisions around you?! I don’t give a shit where you go and what you do. I do things for myself, not for somebody else.”  
  
“That’s exactly what you should do. I just didn’t want to be a subconscious factor.”  
  
“No. Don’t act like you fucking did the right thing. I already know where I’m going to go and what I’m going to do. I don’t care if you stay on the east coast, go to the west coast, or fucking move to a whole different country. Don’t you dare think I would throw away everything for some guy.”  
  
“I highly doubt that. Just last week you were asking me to help you make a decision.”  
  
“I asked you whether or not you thought I had the GPA to be let in anywhere, I didn’t ask you to choose the rest of my life for me!” In just a split second, I had made up my mind. I wasn’t confused about my future anymore. “I decided to stay here and go to the community college for _me.”_  
  
Alex’s face fell and he brought a hand to his face as he shook his head. “Rian told you we’re staying here to record our first EP, didn’t he?”  
  
That was the last straw. “You’re a fucking dick. He didn’t tell me shit. I decided to stay here because it’s the only place I haven’t wanted to fucking kill myself.”  
  
“Mickey…” Alex tried to calm me down and reach out for my arm.  
  
But I slapped his hand away and took a step back before I did something that I would regret. “No, go fuck yourself. I really don’t care what the fuck you go off and do!”  
  
“Okay, I _get_ it!”  
  
“You know what?” I breathed out heavily, thinking about what I was going to do. If it was the right decision or not. But it definitely was. “I’m done. We were going to break up after graduation anyway, why not just end it now.”  
  
“What?” Alex’s eyes were wide with fear.  
  
I ripped off the necklace he had gotten me for Christmas, breaking the lock in the process and dropped it in his hand. “Happy _fucking_ Valentine’s day, Alex.”  
  
“Wait–”  
  
I turned around before he could argue and went straight to my car. I didn’t want to hear him try to make up an excuse. He was an asshole for thinking I would chase him around. This was just a high school relationship. It wasn’t anything serious. I never got into this thing with Alex thinking it would last forever. I knew that as soon as we graduated, we’d go our separate ways. Alex obviously didn’t think the same way. I was never going to choose my future based on our relationship. Maybe we could have made it through the summer, but let’s be honest.  
  
Alex and I were different. He was in love and I was still trying to figure things out. I was finally getting my life back on track, I wasn’t going to let a relationship get in the way of that. If I wanted to go out to China to find myself, I would have. He wasn’t my priority.  
  
I got into my car and locked the doors before starting the engine. Alex rushed over to the passenger side and tried to open the door just like he had done many times before. But I had gotten my car properly fixed. The locks weren’t dodgy anymore. So, he pounded on the window instead. I just started driving, making him jump away.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, if Alex hadn’t pulled this stupidity, I would have stayed with him for much longer. Maybe I wouldn’t have called it off after graduation. Afterall, he was staying here.  
  
But now? I was _done_ with him.


	66. Chapter Sixty-six: Wasted Time, Wasted Tears

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
I knew that I was never going to forget Valentine’s Day 2006. It was supposed to be a romantic day and the day my future began. But, instead, it left me with a broken heart.  
  
I was stupid. It was my fault, but I did it for the right reasons. I just never thought it would end like this. We had only been together for a short few months, but I was madly in love with Mickey. In just the span of five minutes, it all ended. It was bizarre and it confused me, only making it worse. How could it end in just a few minutes?  
  
The next Wednesday morning, I felt the worst I had in a while. I went to school and I tried to push through. I wanted to seem like I was strong.  
  
But it wasn’t that easy.  
  
As soon as I walked through those double doors of the school’s main entrance with Jack, my heart dropped. Right in my line of sight, I could see Mickey. Her hair was in a ponytail and I could see that she wasn’t wearing any eyeliner, but she didn’t particularly look bad or anything. All she was wearing was black jeans and a blue flannel shirt. She didn’t even notice me, but she stood out.  
  
She was walking through the hallway with principal Adkins. Everything in me was already preparing to ask her about it later and get a whole rant out of her. But that wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t like that anymore.  
  
My heart ached just as much as it did the day before.  
  
 _The necklace I clenched tightly in my fist was still radiating her heat. It almost felt like it was leaving a burn mark etched into my skin. But there was no way I was letting go, I couldn’t just let go. I stood there in defeat for a few more breaths long after Mickey’s car had disappeared down the road.  
  
It didn’t feel real. Part of me expected for everything to be okay, but that wasn’t how it was going to work. Still, I did not know just how to feel as I turned around and headed back into Jack’s house. If anything, the best thing to describe how I was feeling was numb.  
  
All my thoughts felt distant and clouded over, yet my feet still carried me inside.  
  
I gently closed the door behind myself and floated up the stairs back to Jack’s bedroom. Jack was sitting on the floor playing video games, the controller I had been using just laying there next to him. If this were any other case, I would have run up to join him again. This time, I calmly walked up to my bag and picked up the bouquet of flowers.  
  
I was going to surprise Mickey later. Although I promised her I wouldn’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day, I still wanted to give her some simple flowers. She may always credit herself for not liking flowery things, I knew better than that.  
  
Now the flowers had just been a waste of money.  
  
“Happy Valentine’s Day, dude,” I gave him the best smile I could put on and dropped the flowers in his lap before sitting down next to him again.  
  
Jack frowned and briefly looked down at the red petals, keeping his attention on the game. “Umm, thanks?”  
  
“Share it with your mom and dad or something, I don’t really mind.” I pressed the button to make my controller respond again.  
  
“I thought you bought these for Mickey.”  
  
I hummed in response, carefully letting the necklace drop from my clutch and onto the floor. I didn’t want to say it outloud. Saying it outloud would make it real. Now I could still hope that I could go back in time and change it all. But as soon as Jack knew, there was nothing I could even hope to do. Then the words would become definite reality.  
  
I knew better. To be truthful, I already knew that this was it. This wasn’t just Mickey getting mad at me. I couldn’t hope for her to realise that she was going about it wrong or I couldn’t apologise for going a bit too far. This was it.  
  
“Yo, dude,” Jack nudged me.  
  
I looked at him to realise everything was blurry in my right eye and that a single tear had dropped without my permission.  
  
“You okay?” He pushed, noticing the exact same thing.  
  
And that’s when it all hit me in one go, as if she had run me over with her red truck. I completely broke down and couldn’t get a word out.  
_  
It was only the morning and I had already thought about Mickey every minute of the day. Our first period English used to be a class I always looked forward to. This is where we had met. She sat in front of me. I could watch her. I witnessed her becoming less and less cold towards me.  
  
But now the chair was empty.  
  
Part of me felt a little better, knowing that Mickey was probably having a hard time as well, that she didn’t want to face me in class. Her pain didn’t make me happy in any way, but the thought that she didn’t just break up with me and feel nothing did help. It made me feel better that I wasn’t the only one hurting, that our break up hurt her deeply as well.  
  
She hadn’t skipped this class in a while. And apparently she wasn’t planning on doing so today either.  
  
Granted, she came in a few minutes late, but she still came in. Right as the teacher was saying something, she came barging in. But it didn’t look like she had been crying or had even been remotely upset. She looked like it was just another day. There was just one thing that was strange. She was carrying a large pile of textbooks.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” Mickey immediately apologised as she started towards her seat in front of me, “I’ve just been a bit swamped.”  
  
“I don’t suppose you happen to have your copy of the text in there?” the teacher raised her eyebrow as Mickey managed to put the entire pile on her desk.  
  
“Umm…” Mickey started looking through the pile and pulled out a book with sticky notes in one section. “I do actually!”  
  
“Did you do the reading for today?”  
  
“Believe it or not, I have,” she nodded and sat down.  
  
“So you wouldn’t mind starting off our discussion about the theme of mortality?” the teacher continued to interrogate in a way, really trying to see if Mickey was lying. I couldn't even tell if she was lying or not right now. Either she was telling the truth or this was one great lie.  
  
“Yeah, um, just hang on a second,” Mickey put down her book and grabbed for the backpack she had placed on the floor. She pulled out a few notebooks, making the tower of books on her desk get even higher. Eventually she happened to pull out the right one and opened it up to a page.  
  
And then she actually started to discuss the pages we had to read and how it related to things earlier and the themes we kept coming back to. I was confused. Did our break up suddenly motivate her? Had I been holding her back? It was all so strange, like she was a different person. A better person.  
  
Then twenty minutes later Principle Adkins interrupted the class and asked for Mickey. Only this time she wasn’t being removed and given a warning or even given a punishment. No, he just told everybody to disregard him and went up to her. He was crouched down next to her and they were going over a list of what I guessed were chapters in a math textbook. Mickey was circling numbers in her copy while Principle Adkins was adding short instructions to each one.  
  
Yet that wasn’t even the strangest part of the day. It got weirder.  
  
During lunch I saw Mickey looking lost. Part of me wanted to go up to her and tell her that it was okay to sit with us despite our break up. Or at least send Rian or Jack to do it, you know. But I wasn’t ready for that. The cut was way too fresh. I did feel bad for her, though. Breaking up with me meant losing all her friends.  
  
Part of me expected her to go to her empty table in the back corner again, just like at the beginning of the school year. But she didn’t. She just stood there at the entrance to the cafeteria, looking out over the crowd of students. When some scrawny freshman went up to her, I wanted to warn him. Although she had given a few sex-ed classes, she wasn’t the coolest around the young awkward kids.  
  
Instead she smiled and they walked back out into the halls together.  
  
I felt discontereted. I tried to ignore it, act like everything she wasn’t doing didn’t interest me anymore. Her life wasn’t my business anymore. But I couldn’t help but wonder.  
  
“Hey, I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I announced to Jack and Rian, “I’ll be right back.”  
  
Rian gave me a concerned look. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m good, I’ve just gotta pee,” I brushed it off and sped away before they could ask me more questions.  
  
Of course they could see Mickey was constantly on my mind. Of course they knew it pained me deeply. And of course they wanted to help me. But I couldn't just get over her.  
  
As I was rushing to the bathroom, hoping to bump into her on my way, I happened to look through the window in the door to the library. And there she was, sitting at the table that I had a view of. She was there with that weird freshman kid. They had books open all around them. I recognised the math textbook from earlier as the textbook Mickey was currently leaning over, trying her best to explain a math problem.  
  
Watching her from afar made me want to cry. She seemed so passionate and interested. Her hair kept falling into her eyes as she leaned further over the work and she would quickly brush it back so she could continue uninterrupted. There was this slight tingle of a smile as she listened to the questions this boy had, happy to go over it again or clarify it in a different way. All she was doing was tutoring him, yet I still wished it was me. It wasn’t jealousy. I just missed her.  
  
But she didn’t need me. She was perfectly fine without me. I had been so delusional.


	67. Chapter Sixty-seven: Invasive Questions

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
I was sitting downstairs on the couch in front of the TV. There was some stupid show on that I was only watching to fill in the time. You probably couldn’t even call it ‘watching.’ It was more like a background noise while I was staring aimlessly at the screen. All I was really doing was dying my hair yet again.  
  
My hair was sporting that faded purple colour. It really needed freshening up. Faded purple was not the look for me. It looked used up and dead. And I was not used up.  
  
I was wearing some old shirt that was just a bit too tight to make sure I one, was not naked, and two, did not get hair dye all over my favourite clothes. In the end, my hair was tied up in a plastic bag. Not because I was trying to trap heat to speed up the process, but because my mom would literally not let me take a step out of the bathroom without that plastic bag creating a barrier.  
  
So, there I was, watching TV but not really watching, waiting until I could wash my hair and continue on to the next step, when there was a knock at the front door. I looked around to see if my mom was close by, but when I didn’t see her, I decided to go check myself. Yes, there was a plastic bag on my head, yes I was wearing some old shirt, but who cared? If it was anything important, my mom would have been here waiting.  
  
I opened the door to find Rian to my surprise. I frowned at him, wondering what the fuck he was doing here right now. We hadn’t spoken since Alex and I broke up, which made sense to me. Afterall, Alex was his best friend and original friend. I only came later, he had to be on his boy’s side, not mine.  
  
“Hi…” Rian seemed to have his own questions as he glanced up at the plastic bag. “Umm…”  
  
“I’m dying my hair,” I quickly explained with a sigh. He could have easily ignored it.  
  
“Oh, okay, well,” he nodded and moved his gaze back down to my eyes, “umm, I just wanted to check how you’re doing.”  
  
“I’m good,” I shrugged and leaned against the door, one hand still holding the inside handle.  
  
“Okay… are you sure?”  
  
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”  
  
“It’s just that Alex was pretty distraught after your break up and I realised that while I was there for him, I completely neglected you.” He scratched the back of his head, looking down at the floor. It was obvious that he was feeling guilty.  
  
“Nah, I’m all good.” I smiled to calm his nerves.  
  
He double checked. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah!” I reassured him enthusiastically. “I’m the one that broke up with him after all.”  
  
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about it,” he told me honestly with a hint of concern.  
  
“Right.”  
  
“I know that your relationship was special to you. Even though you didn’t really like showing it, you were obviously happy and it obviously meant a lot.”  
  
“Mhmm,” I nodded.  
  
“It can be quite upsetting for a relationship to end so suddenly.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Just know that I’m here for you.”  
  
“Okay, well, thanks,” I rushed out as I started closing the door.  
  
“Umm, no proble–” I cut off Rian’s confused tone by shutting the door on him.  
  
As soon as I heard that front door click, I was gone. I ran all the way up the stairs, right into my room. I slammed that door, much less composed than I had been a second before, and fell onto my bed. As soon as my body hit the mattress, a loud sob forced its way through my throat and out my mouth. It was so painful.  
  
“Mickey?!” I heard my mom call out as I could no longer hold back the tears.  
  
I couldn’t respond to her even if I wanted to. My breathing was too irregular and mixing uncomfortably with salty tears. It almost felt like I was choking, my heart was literally hurting.  
  
“Mickey,” my mom gasped softly as she entered my room without warning. She rushed to my side. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Why did he have to be such a fucking asshole?” I hiccuped as I looked at her through my very blurry vision.  
  
“Oh,” she sighed in sympathy and sat down, moving my head so it was in her lap, not even caring that she could get the hair product on her despite the plastic bag, “I know.”  
  
––––  
  
I laid on bed crying with my mom for quite a while longer. She let me cry it all out and rant about everything. Much unlike she usually did, she just sat there, listening to me, not giving her own opinion. I had been denying my feelings for so long, that it all hitt me at the same time, stabbing me over and over again. I don’t know why whatever Rian said made me break down, but I had to do everything in my power not to do it in front of him.  
  
Despite crying until I couldn’t anymore, I still felt a little better. Like I wasn’t trying to hold back an overflowing river any longer.  
  
Eventually, I had washed out all the colour remover in my hair. It was just a bit later than I had originally intended, but luckily my hair wasn’t completely ruined. As soon as that was all out, I slapped on the colour, because there was no way I was going to walk around with that even more faded mess for more than a few minutes.  
  
Once again, I took my position on the couch downstairs. And once again, there was somebody at my door and I was the only one downstairs. Part of me was afraid that it was Rian, that he had seen me bawling my eyes out in my room. But he wouldn’t call me out like that. Right? He wouldn’t come over and tell me he saw me. He’d either leave me be or maybe give me a quick phone call.  
  
Well, I wished it was Rian there to call my bluff, because what I got was even worse. I was met with the one and only Alex Gaskarth on the other side of the door.  
  
“Oh,” I huffed out, a little scared that it was obvious that I had been crying. My eyes were still burning slightly and I felt like my cheeks were puffy. Last time I checked in the mirror, I looked fine, but I had just gotten out of the shower. Maybe I no longer looked fine?  
  
“Hey,” he smiled sheepishly, his hands behind his back and only checking out my hair plastic bag for a brief second.  
  
“What do you want,” I grumbled, really not wanting or needing this conversation right now. “Did you leave some of your stuff here that you want back?”  
  
“No,” he quickly shook his head, “well, yes, but no.”  
  
“Then what do you want?!” I repeated with much frustration.  
  
“Willyougotopromwithme?”  
  
“What?” I raised my eyebrows.  
  
He took a deep breath and said the words much slower this time, “will you go to prom with me?”  
  
“No, I heard you, you _fucking_ asshole.” I couldn’t believe that I cried about him. How could he even ask me that?  
  
“Oh.” His face fell, which fueled my rage even more. Why would he ever think he even had the slightest change?  
  
“Why would I want to go to prom, let alone with you?”  
  
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, you kind of owe it to me, really.”  
  
“Owe it to you?! Really? _Fuck off.”_ I didn’t even want to wait to hear what other bullshit he was going to spew out.  
  
So, I didn’t. I grabbed hold of the door and swung it shut. Simple as that. Or so I thought. Alex quickly forced his foot in front of it, causing the door to come to an abrupt halt before it got the chance to close.  
  
“Wait,” he said in a much weaker and less confident voice, “please.”  
  
“Look,” I slowly opened the door again, “you can’t just come here asking me to prom after we broke up, acting like you own the right. I’d rather you just leave now.”  
  
“No, that all came out wrong!”  
  
“It came out wrong?” I laughed, the rage turning into fury. “Are you fucking with me? No, I will not go with you. You know, I bet you sent Rian out here earlier today to test the waters.”  
  
“What? Rian came over earlier?” He quickly looked back at Rian’s house and then back at me. “That has nothing to do with me. Just, please, consider it. You don’t owe it to me. I owe it to you. I’m the one who ruined this, I know that. Don’t let me fucking up ruin a last chance to create some good memories in high school.”  
  
“I didn’t want to go to prom anyway, so it doesn’t matter,” I countered.  
  
“Mickey,” he sighed, sounding just like all the times he would explain something to me in a loving way, “I don’t really care if you want to go with me for me or not. Just go to get some good memories with Rian and Jack, with friends. Yes, I’ll be there, they’re my friends too. But they all have dates. Going as my date doesn’t mean actually being my date. We’ll go as people who used to be together and now decided to tolerate each other, maybe even be friends. Plus, we won’t be lonely during photos.”  
  
It felt weird to admit, but going did sound kind of good that way. I wasn’t going with Alex, I would be going with the entire group. I could deal with that. I still liked Rian and Jack. Before Alex and I started dating, I could tolerate him, I was sure I could somehow find that equilibrium again. He used to infuriate me so much as well.  
  
“Okay,” I gave in, deciding against fighting for my pride. Alex suddenly grew a large smile. “But, I will only be going with you as a group, not with you as a date.”  
  
“Of course, yes, I’m completely cool with that.” He nodded excitedly.  
  
“Where are we meeting and at what time?” I asked before I’d have to call him again.  
  
“My house, five pm, but I can come pick you up if you’d like.”  
  
“I can drive myself just fine, thank you very much.”  
  
“Yes, yes, of course.”  
  
“Okay, well then I’ll see you then,” I told him, smiling genuinely at him, my feelings doing some properly flip-flopping today, “or earlier, or whatever. Anyway, I do have to wash out the dye in my hair.”  
  
“Ah! That’s why you’ve got a bag on your head!”  
  
“Exactly.” I started closing the door. “See ya.”


	68. Chapter Sixty-eight: Mystery Douche

**Alex’s POV:  
**  
I was doing a bit better. Of course I wasn’t just over Mickey, I was still very much heartbroken. But I had gotten past the initial shock and pain. It did help that she did agree to go to prom with me – wait, with _us_. My stupid brain kept imagining that I could get back with her. I wanted nothing more than to get back with her, but I also knew better than that. Mickey would never take me back. And that was a harsh reality I had to deal with.  
  
Easier said than done.  
  
I occasionally still caught myself wanting to call Mickey or randomly go over to her house. It happened whenever I was in a great mood, but also when I was in a bad one. She was always that one thing I could count on no matter what. But now that line had been cut, and I found myself sad. It was some horrible muscle memory mocking me.  
  
What mainly helped was getting my mind off her and the entire situation. Not because it made me forget (even though that was my initial reason), but because it made me appreciate spending time with friends a lot more again. Not that I ever took it for granted, but I could still have fun despite having my heart broken into a million pieces.  
  
I decided to boost my morals again and went to the mall with Rian and Zack. We weren’t really there for any reason, just fucking around really. Of course, we took a look around the music store. Nobody bought anything except for Rian, who needed some new drum sticks. I stared at some of the guitars I wanted to have one day. They were way out of my price range now, but I was going to get one once I had the budget. It was going to happen.  
  
“Do you guys want to grab a bite to eat?” I asked them. It was around two in the afternoon, but I hadn’t had any lunch yet.  
  
“Can’t say no to that,” Zack responded as we walked out the store.  
  
Rian shrugged after, “yeah, sure.”  
  
“What do you guys wanna get?” I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket to check how much money I had on me.  
  
“Let’s see when we get there,” Rian suggested.  
  
Both Zack and I nodded in agreement and we walked to the food court. All the options were fast food. It was either fries, burgers, tacos, burgers, or burgers. After a long discussion, we ended up getting, you guessed it, burgers. We each had our own tray and sat at a table next to some plants sectioning off the seating area from the walkway. It gave us a nice view over all the other food places and other people out with friends and family.  
  
Zack was telling us about this new trick he had learned on his skateboard and the whole journey to mastering it when my eyes fell upon something. I wouldn’t have seen it if I wasn’t seated on my chair. If I was sitting where Zack was, across from me, I would have been facing the wrong way. If I was sitting where Rian was, to my left, Zack would have been in the way.  
  
I happened to look in the direction of a girl and a guy. The guy looked like a real asshole. You know, somebody who thought he was hot shit. Black swooping hair, skinny jeans, leather jacket, sunglasses. The girl was wearing blue jeans and a simple white top, almost looking too friendly with her long brown hair to be with a guy like him.  
  
At first, I didn’t even notice it, but my entire body just knew. That girl was Mickey.  
  
I could only see her from the back, but there was no doubt about it. I knew the contours of her body. She looked so different. Usually, she felt most comfortable in brightly coloured hair and wouldn’t be caught dead in such plain clothes. Something had caused her to do a full one-eighty, and I didn’t know what. What had caused her to change? Had I been holding her back?  
  
Seeing her with that guy shattered my heart into a million pieces again. I didn’t understand how she could move on that quickly. Sure, I had seen her jump between guys and girls before we got together. But I thought that what we had was different. All those others were just fuck buddies. We had more than a physical connection, right?  
  
I watched as they went to our smoothie place. Well, it wasn’t our smoothie place, we only went there a few times, but still. I grit my teeth a little as they went over to the counter and placed their order. The guy pulled out his wallet, but Mickey quickly slapped it away and paid for both their drinks. He must have been special for her to pay for him as well. I was surprised to see that he returned the favour.  
  
He looked around as if he was going to try to swipe something. Afterall, I knew who Mickey used to hang out with. But instead he pulled out a few bills from his wallet and quickly slipped it into her bag completely undetected.  
  
“– Alex!” Rian gave me a harsh nudge so I would answer whatever they had just asked me.  
  
“What?” I snapped back.  
  
“Damn…” Zack shook his head at me.  
  
“I’m sorry,” I sighed and looked back at Mickey. “Mickey just caught me off guard. She’s over there.”  
  
“What? Where?” Rian immediately tried to spot her, looking in the same direction as I was.  
  
“Smoothie counter.”  
  
“That’s not Mickey!” He disagreed. But then she was given her drinks and she turned around. “Oh. That is Mickey.”  
  
Zack turned around to take a look as well. I was about to tell him to stop, that if she caught us it would be super awkward. But she didn’t even seem to notice. She just sat at a table there with the stupid asshole of a guy she was with.  
  
“Does she have a new boyfriend?” I pressured Rian.  
  
“What?” He scrunched up his eyebrows, his eyes moving to me. “Why would I know?”  
  
“You live next to her.”  
  
“That doesn’t mean I know what she’s been doing.”  
  
I breathed out in frustration. “Have you seen her with another guy? Maybe you’ve seen something unusual?”  
  
He opened his mouth as if he was about to further argue with me, but then he became silent. “Well… I’ve noticed an extra car outside her house a lot…”  
  
“What?!” My eyes doubled in size and I glared at him.  
  
“I didn’t think anything of it!” He defended, his voice raising in pitch. “I’ve seen her dad drive it as well. So I assumed it might have been his!”  
  
I just sat there, fully accepting my fate. She had a new boyfriend. That hope of another chance that I had been trying to suppress only made the pain worse. There really was no second chance. Was prom even worth it anymore?  
  
“Hey, maybe they’re just friends,” Zack tried to cheer me up a little.  
  
“Really?” I frowned at him, not falling for his stupid words.  
  
“You never know.”  
  
I wanted nothing more than to leave so I wouldn’t have to witness this any longer. But I had barely touched my food and I wasn’t going to waste it. Zack even offered to switch seats with me, but I felt like not knowing what was going on behind me was going to be even worse. Luckily, Mickey and that douche didn’t kiss while we were still both there. I would have broken down if I had seen that.


	69. Chapter Sixty-nine: The Blur of Shitty Dancing and Booze

**Mickey’s POV:  
**  
I had driven to Alex’s house many times before, but I definitely hadn’t done it in such a hurry before. Usually, there wasn’t a specific time for me to show up. If there was, then I could still show up fashionably late about an hour later. This time, however, fashionably late would have been fifteen minutes late. Not thirty minutes like I was. We were supposed to be taking prom pictures with the entire group. We needed time for that, and here I was showing up way later than I was supposed to. My worry wasn’t that I’d miss the pictures, I didn’t really care about that. I just didn’t want them to leave without me.  
  
I would have gotten dressed up for no reason and only embarrassed myself.  
  
Driving barefoot is just as strange as it sounds. I breaked pretty rapidly and suddenly as I approached Alex’s house and parked across the street. Everybody was standing outside and I was more than relieved that they hadn’t left yet. I quickly pulled my keys out of the ignition and opened up my car door. There was a buzz of chatter, and I almost jumped out. Luckily, I caught myself and slipped on my heels just before I hit the ground.  
  
I locked my car and threw my keys in the purse my mom had given me before walking up to the group. They were all talking to each other, not really taking any notice of me. But then Alex appeared out of the group. He pushed past everybody to be the first person to greet me.  
  
“Oh, thank fuck!” He practically exclaimed and hugged me before realising what he was doing and releasing me immediately.  
  
“Mickey!” Jack’s voice echoed from the houses around us. “You’re here!”  
  
My eyes went wide when I saw him. He looked insane, and not in a good way. I could not believe I was actually a little bit excited to get to spend some time with him and Rian right now. This was mad. I did not want to be around Jack in a fucking white suit. That wasn’t the kind of fun I wanted.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” I apologised, running my fingers through my curled hair so I got the part on the other side, “I promise I was finished on time. But my family would not stop requesting pictures.”  
  
“Everybody thought you weren’t coming anymore.” Alex pouted. “But I still had hope!”  
  
“He wouldn’t even let us take any pictures without you,” Jack escalated. “Not a single one!”  
  
“That’s stupid! I’m fucking late, you’re not going to get them all in now,” I shook my head in disappointment.  
  
Alex pretended that he didn’t hear me and pulled out a small plastic box from behind his back. “I got you something, I hope you don’t mind.”  
  
I looked as he opened it and saw a small collection of very light peach-coloured roses. Although I had never dreamed of my prom and what it would be like, not even when I was a little girl, I knew exactly what it was. It was a corsage. All the other girls were wearing one as well, given by their own respective boyfriends and dates.  
  
“Thank you,” I smiled genuinely. I hadn’t asked for one, but it felt nice that he had thought about it.  
  
He grinned back, happy that my response was positive and pulled out the corsage. I held my hand out for him, letting him wrap the white ribbon around my wrist. He tied a bow so delicately, careful not to hurt me by making it too tight. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop smiling.  
  
In return, I took the pin out of the box and took a step closer to him. I felt strange being so close to him. I could feel his body heat that had once been so comforting. He looked down at me as I stuck the pin into his suit’s jacket, taking caution not to stab him. Once it was in and clasped back shut, I worked on straightening out the fabric.  
  
“I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind you’re going to prom with me,” Alex whispered, his breath cascading hot against my cheek.  
  
“Boyfriend?” I looked up at him in confusion, my hands still on his chest.  
  
“Oh…” he frowned, seemingly already regretting what he asked me. “I saw you with some guy at the mall. I just assumed…”  
  
I knew exactly who he was talking about. I let my hands drop. “No, gross, I would never even think about dating him. We were just out buying shoes. Turns out I didn’t actually own any shoes appropriate for prom. Who would’ve guessed?”  
  
Alex responded with a breathy chuckle. “Right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”  
  
“It’s okay,” I told him. I couldn’t be mad at him. If I had found out he had asked another girl to prom, I probably would have thought exactly the same.  
  
We went to join the others and Alex spoke up again, “just one question. Why did you decide to dye your hair brown? I thought you preferred bright colours?”  
  
“It just felt right.” I shrugged softly.  
  
“That’s all it takes,” he agreed.  
  
Jack had left us alone for a few moments, but decided to jump in again, ruining this feeling I had brewing inside of me. “You’re going to come back with us to Alex’s afterparty, right?”  
  
“Umm…” I looked at Alex, not sure how to answer. I knew nothing about a party and didn’t want to intrude, although I also didn’t particularly like the idea of Alex being drunk by himself around other girls.  
  
“I was just about to ask if you wanted to come.” Alex gave me a twitch of his lips.  
  
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. It was one thing to go to prom with him, but to actually go back with him as well? Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea. “Yeah, of course, definitely.”  
  
We were all called in by Alex’s parents and some other parents that I did not recognise to take pictures. It was extremely uncomfortable. They had us standing in all these weird poses. Lined up outside or on the stairs, dates next to each other. It wasn’t something I would have agreed to doing if it had been any other day. I just pushed through and endured. I figured that if I still cringed at the idea years later, I would never have to look at the photos again. But if I looked back at the memory fondly, then I wouldn’t have beaten myself up for not taking the pictures.  
  
Luckily, showing up late also meant that I didn’t have to put on a stupid flashy smile for any longer than necessary and didn’t have to feel Alex’s hand on my waist anymore. Although it felt so natural, I constantly wanted to cower away. It felt so wrong trying to be friends with him again. I was in such a conflicted state of mind.  
  
Once we left the house to go to school, where the prom was being held, I found out that our mode of transportation was a tour bus. It was like a big blow to my heart, reminding me of why I broke up with Alex in the first place. I was so happy for him, he got to go out and live his dream, but not telling me was so fucked up. I left him because he thought my entire world revolved around him and I was already letting him back into my life, practically proving him right.  
  
As I went up those steps, I realised how big of a mistake I made. I should have never let Alex talk me into tolerating him and becoming friends again. Yet, I went against all my feelings and got on that bus.  
  
I’ll be honest. Prom was… pretty disappointing really. I didn’t even have any expectations. Literally, it was a last minute thing. But it was still very disappointing. They played mediocre music, couples were all over each other, and there was no alcohol to make it bearable. I fully understood why Alex was throwing an afterparty.  
  
I had somehow managed to avoid dancing with Alex during the entire prom. Sometimes he’d make eye contact with me and start towards me. I knew that he’d ask me to dance. Before he could come close to me, I’d jump into another group and dance with them instead. Usually, that group consisted of Jack and a few other people. But, of course that didn’t work for the slow dances. There was nobody to hide behind. I just stood to the side, awkwardly watching all the couples embracing each other.  
  
“Can I have this dance?” Alex asked me as he walked up to me, holding his hand out.  
  
I looked uncomfortably at his hand. “I dunno…”  
  
“We haven’t danced together at all,” he tried to reason as if I hadn’t been doing it on purpose, “come on.”  
  
“I don’t think–”  
  
“Mickey…” he interrupted and challenged, wiggling his fingers a little. “It’s just one dance.”  
  
I sighed and reluctantly took his hand. “Fine.”  
  
He led me to the dance floor and put my hand on his shoulder before putting his own on my waist. I put my other hand up as well, but did my best to look anywhere but at him. I didn’t want to give him a false sense of permission. We had broken up, and that was how it was going to be. I couldn’t be with somebody who was so self-absorbed.  
  
“You know, you look amazing,” Alex whispered, his eyes on me ever since we started dancing.  
  
Just hearing his voice made me look back at him. I shook my head. “You can’t say that.”  
  
“It’s the truth.” He shrugged as if it meant nothing. His eyes said otherwise though.  
  
“Alex…” I breathed out. “We are over, nothing’s going to change that.”  
  
“I know,” he nodded and gave me a careful smile. “I’d tell anybody they look good. If I had been dancing with Jack, I would have told him the same.”  
  
“No, you wouldn’t have.”  
  
“Yes, I would have.”  
  
“Have you seen Jack?” I looked in Jack’s direction who was dancing with his date. “He looks like some fucking marshmallow.”  
  
“You aren’t wrong,” he took a quick glance and laughed before looking at me again. “Honestly, though, you do look good.”  
  
I couldn’t avoid Alex after that anymore. It was still easy to be surrounded by others, meaning I wasn’t left alone with him anymore. But that got more and more difficult at the afterparty. Drinks were constantly poured, some people started leaving, others started playing games. The alcohol was making me forgetful, taking the constant reminder of staying away from Alex and throwing it into my mental bin. Somehow, I ended up making out with him in the hallway, scrambling to get up to his room. I was way too drunk to think about it rationally.  
  
I woke up with a splitting headache and arms wrapped around my body. Although the night before was a blur, I knew exactly where I was. Dread filled my entire core, and I knew I had to get out of there. There was no question that I had still managed to fuck up so badly despite trying my best not to let myself go there. I didn’t even need a second to wake up, the panic had done that for me already.  
  
I immediately rushed out of the bed, going right for my underwear on the floor.  
  
“Mickey?” Alex grumbled with sleep, obviously not as distraught about everything that happened.  
  
I ignored him and pulled on my dress, only picking up my heels because there was no way I would be wearing them.  
  
“Hey,” he said in that stupid soft voice of his that could force me to be swayed.  
  
This time, I wasn’t going to let him pull me in again. “This shouldn’t have happened.”  
  
“It’s not that–”  
  
“No. Fuck you,” I seethed and stormed out of his room, slamming the door shut.  
  
My knuckles were white from clutching the steering wheel as I drove home. I had to do everything in me not to scream and punch a dent in my car. How could Alex have taken advantage of the situation like that? All that talk about it not meaning anything, that it was all just because it was what friends do was complete and utter bullshit. How dare he?  
  
And how the fuck did I let this happen?  
  
I couldn’t restrain myself enough when I got home and let the door fall shut behind me just a little too loud. I was a mess. The curls in my hair had tangled and fallen out, my dress wasn’t even zipped up, and my makeup was not in place anymore. It truly was the walk of shame. And boy, did I feel shame.  
  
“Mickey?” A male voice called out of the kitchen. “How was–”  
  
I cut him off by running up to him and hugging him tightly, breaking down.


End file.
